a/n: I was going to make you guys wait a little longer for this update, but then I got two more chapters written so I figured I may as well update to keep a good rotation of published & backstock chapters ... you lucky ducks :p
Just as when James hugged her, Hermione's first instinct is to lean into the comforting gesture. James' lips are warm pressed up against hers and the strong presence of his body so close to hers grounds her. But this is the reaction of her sleep-induced brain.
When James puts more pressure into the kiss, and his arms flex, starting to bring her closer to him, Hermione's second instinct wakes her up. She pulls her head back and brings up her arms to James' chest, pushing herself away.
It was only a chaste kiss but Hermione is breathing hard through her mouth when they break apart. She can feel her pulse racing erratically as she fights to tell herself that this isn't right. She looks at James, who's turned away to collect the invisibility cloak from where he'd left it down the aisle, along with his parchment notes and quill. Hermione follows him, ready to dot her i's. She needs to put her foot down and tell him once and for all that it's not going to happen. She needs to be more aware of the signals. This time, it was obvious, but James caught her sleepy and off-guard. It was a mean trick.
James doesn't give her a chance to speak. "We really should get back," he whispers, as though he's not the one who had just prevented them from doing so.
Hermione opens her mouth, about to point that fact out, but then thinks better of it. This wasn't the time or place to kiss her, but it's not the time or place to talk about that inappropriate kiss, either. If either of them gets worked up they could be overheard and that would be catastrophic.
Besides, Hermione needs James' cooperation to make it back to the common room, and the last thing she needs is a petulant, hormonal teenage boy refusing to cooperate because he's been definitively rejected. So, she just nods and lets James press up close against her and throw the cloak over the both of them.
On the way back, a Prefect suddenly rounds a corner and nearly bumps into them but at the last minute makes a wider turn and continues on his merry way. Hermione almost shrieks but James puts his hand over her mouth just in time and they wait with hammering hearts until the Prefect has walked down the hallway and made another turn, none the wiser to their presence. It's a strange thought, remembering that you're invisible.
Back in the common room, safe and sound, James bundles up his cloak. Hermione half expects him to dash away to his dorm, but instead he turns and faces her and says, glumly, "I suppose we should talk?"
They sit on the couch and turn toward each other. The fireplace is lit and its warmth feels nice; the castle hallways are always so drafty but with the night's adrenaline rush Hermione hadn't realized how chilly she had been until the fire's heat thaws her muscles.
Hermione expects James to wait for her to speak, but as soon as they've sat down he says, "Sorry. For startling you back there."
Hermione is momentarily thrown aback. She had expected James to be dismissive and joke it off, if anything. But he sounds genuinely sorry and when Hermione looks at him all she sees is how tired he is. Maybe he doesn't have the energy to put up that joking front. "But I do really like you," he adds.
It's Hermione's turn to speak now and she opens her mouth to say, 'I'm sorry but we can never be together,' or 'I'm sorry but I don't feel that way about you' or 'That was all kinds of inappropriate!' but when it comes down to it she can't bring herself to say anything along those lines.
Hermione can still feel a ghost of pressure from James' lips on hers and the thought makes her body hum softly. It's hard to remember all the reasons not to (Harry, Ron, the future, she doesn't belong, she can't belong) when James Potter is sitting across from her looking tired but still hopeful. She doesn't think anyone has ever seen him look this vulnerable before, not even Lily.
"This isn't really the time for romance," Hermione hears herself saying, instead of all the things she wants to say, all the things she should be saying.
"I know," James agrees in a hurry, "but we can't stop living just because some bad things are happening."
Hermione wants to cry. Of course James would think this way; James and Lily whose biggest act of rebellion against Voldemort is not to fight him but to love each other, get married and have a child in the middle of a war. Hermione wishes James could see Harry, though, Harry who would give anything to start living, to have at least a resemblance of a normal life.
Hermione looks away and rubs her eyes. She's tired and thinking of Harry while trying to think of how to reject his father without hurting his feelings - because Hermione is starting to care for him like a friend, she really is - is not helping her think more clearly.
"And I'm very focused on my studies…" Hermione doesn't know if she's trying to convince James, or herself.
"I know," there's a lightness to James' voice that Hermione doesn't like. She looks back at James to see a slow smile forming. He thinks she's going to give in. "I wouldn't stop you from your studies. Promise."
"I hardly know you," Hermione says, grasping at the last straw of excuses she can think of. "I can't date someone I don't know very well… that I'm not very good friends with."
This is not the best excuse she could have thought of, because this time James perks up considerably and smiles fully at her. "All right," he says and stands up from the couch.
Thinking their conversation over, Hermione stands, slowly. James steps closer to her, a little bit too close, and Hermione is afraid he'll try to kiss her again. Instead, he whispers, "Prepare yourself, Granger. You won't be able to resist becoming my friend." Then he winks and with that spins around and rushes up to his dorm.
For a few moments, Hermione stares at the empty common room where James had just been a few seconds ago. Then, she collapses back onto the couch. She can't wrap her mind around the night she just had. And how it had ended… She sighs. She may have bought herself some time, she thinks, but she'll definitely have to find a way home before James decides they're sufficiently friends and resumes his courting.
At breakfast the next morning, the news is grim.
"The Slytherin invasion was a bust," Sirius grumbles, stabbing his egg angrily, making it cry thick yellow tears. "They're obviously delighted at what's happening, but if they know anything they're being very careful. They're not even talking about it between themselves."
Hermione looks at Peter carefully. He's the only one who could have infiltrated the Slytherin common room. She searches his face for any sign of guilt that he may not have been relating the whole truth to Sirius, but Peter is busy digging into his breakfast, nodding his head vigorously at Sirius' words, mouth too full to agree verbally.
"Excuse me, but how do you know this?"
Sirius grins. "Sorry, Evans, I have to protect my source."
"We didn't find anything either."
James must have filled Remus and Sirius in about the Restricted Section because they don't ask what he's talking about and Lily knows better than to ask. She chews on a piece of toast and stares down the Gryffindor table like she doesn't even hear what they're saying.
"So, what now? It's over?" Peter asks, having finally swallowed.
"Of course not! We keep researching and we keep our eyes and ears open. Something is bound to turn up."
"Right you are, Granger," Sirius says as he stands up. "But for the moment James and I will keep our eyes and ears open on the Quidditch pitch. Tryouts today."
"I've actually decided to volunteer at the hospital wing," Lily says softly, turning her focus back to their conversation now that they were done talking about their highly-illegal activities. "I know you'll have research covered, Gabi, and I just feel like I can do so much more good there. I already feel terrible that only one symptom has hit me. The others haven't been so lucky."
The students with diminished magical abilities had been released finally, but with strict instructions to report the moment they started feeling ill.
"You coming, Moony?" Sirius asks Remus. James has also stood up and they're both ready to take off to the Quidditch pitch. Peter scrambles to stuff his last two sausages in his mouth.
Remus looks from Hermione to Sirius. "I'll go with Granger. We still have a lot of books to consult."
Sirius' glare darkens considerably. "Suit yourself," he mutters, and stalks off.
James only laughs though. "Books over Quidditch? You are an odd one, Moony, old pal. Well, see you later!"
Peter scrambles after them, asking loud excited questions about who they think will be the best candidates for the available positions.
Hermione and Remus move the poufs in the library into a corner, side by side, with a new stack of books between their feet. It's not the most practical way to take notes and Remus gets a dollop of ink on his baggy sweater, but Hermione feels comfortable and safe sitting next to Remus. As dearly as she loves and misses Harry and Ron Hermione has often wished in her time to have a friend who shares her passion for studies. In this timeline, Hermione was first given Lily, and now Remus. She wants to hold on to this feeling as long as possible, since she has no idea the future that awaits her when she finally manages to return.
Sirius shows up in the library after Quidditch. He's showered – his hair is damp – and changed robes. Hermione notices how his eyes flit between Hermione and Remus.
"You two look cozy," he says, and then proceeds to plop himself down between the two of them. Hermione tries to scooch over to avoid getting an elbow in the face. Sirius sits with half a bum on one pouf and half a bum on the other. It has to be very uncomfortable, but Sirius lounges back like he's never been comfier and looks over Remus' shoulder at the book he's reading.
"Find anything?"
"No." Hermione is starting to feel like this is a waste of time. Nothing they read matches both of the symptoms, and even when taking the symptoms separately, as two separate causes, nothing makes sense. The textbooks only offer solutions, potions and spells that Hermione knows Madame Pomfrey would have already tried.
"Ready for a break? James and Peter said they'd be outside."
"Yes, please!" Hermione shuts her book. Sirius looks over at her, surprised, like he'd forgotten she was even there but Hermione doesn't care. She could use the fresh air. She thinks that maybe afterwards she'll go to the infirmary and help Lily. Maybe she'll feel more useful there.
They hear the commotion before they see what's going on. They've just left the castle and are making their way toward the Quidditch pitch, keeping an eye out for James and Peter, when they hear the loud talking and then a piercing shriek.
It doesn't take them long to find the source of the chaos – a large group of students have already gathered close to the pitch but it's not until Hermione and Sirius have fought their way through the outraged spectators that they see what's going on.
In the clearing between the half-circle of spectators and the large group of Slytherins in front of them, a girl is sitting on the ground, head bent so that half of her face is covered by her long brown hair. Her shoulders are shaking. Hermione vaguely recognizes her. Meadowes, isn't it? Dorothy? Dora? Dorcas! Dorcas Meadowes, one of Lily's friends.
A few of the Slytherins have their wands out and there's a strong, pungent smell in the air. Hermione's stomach sinks in horror when she realizes that the smell is coming from Dorcas - bladder failure.
Hermione looks at the Slytherins again, hate consuming her entirely. She takes out her wand, and it takes all of her self-control not to hex them right away. She recognizes Snape among the older students who are standing in the front lines, laughing, yelling insults at Dorcas and otherwise looking extremely pleased with themselves.
Sirius acts faster. He casts a cleaning spell at Dorcas, something no one else dared to do, for fear of facing the wrath of the entire Slytherin group. "Apologize and help her up," Sirius says to who appears to be the leader of the group.
The Slytherins laugh at that and Snape steps forward away from the group. "Or what?" he spits out. This is personal.
Hermione's disgust at seeing this young version of Snape intensifies. He was always cruel, she thinks. How could Dumbledore trust this dirty, filthy man?
"Don't make me repeat myself," Sirius growls out. Hermione can feel the hostility seeping out of his pores and even she's scared. She watches as Sirius raises his wand and Snape's arm twitches as he goes to mirror the movement.
Hermione acts faster than either of them. "Expelliarmus," she shouts, pointing her wand at Snape. The wand goes flying out of Snape's hand but Hermione doesn't wait to see where it lands. She rounds on the leader of the group and casts a Stinging Hex which hits him straight in the face.
Snape's wand lands a few feet from Hermione.
"You're all nothing but revolting bullies," she cries out at the group of Slytherins who are too stunned to move. With their leader screaming in pain while clutching his face, they're not sure if they should retaliate or back down.
Only Snape acts on his own. He makes a dive for his wand, but Hermione is closer. In a few steps, she's put her foot on the end of the wand and with her momentum she swings her arm, fist colliding powerfully with Snape's eye.
This is nothing Hermione had planned but it feels good – the pain that shoots up her arm at the contact feels like revenge.
Hermione doesn't have time to savor the feeling though. As soon as Snape has backed down, holding his face in his hands and screaming obscenities, she feels rough hands pull her back away from the clearing and away from everyone staring at her with wide eyes and slack jaws.
Hermione goes to elbow her aggressor in the stomach when he whispers, "That's enough," and Hermione curbs the violent reflex.
James pulls her away from the crowd, Sirius, Remus and Peter close behind. "That," he whispers, still holding on to her arms, but now guiding instead of pulling her away from the scene of the crime, "was brilliant!"
He turns to Remus. "See to it that Meadowes gets to the common room all right?"
Remus nods and disappears back into the group of students, though now the Slytherins have slinked off and everyone starts to disband, talking wildly and staring at Hermione as they pass her.
"Come on." James puts an arm over Hermione and starts guiding her away. "We need to get out of here before the professors show up."