People Will Talk

By R2s Muse

Disclaimer: The Dragon Age setting and its characters belong to Bioware. I'm just borrowing!

A/N: Here we get to the 'come to Andraste' part, but a bit more NSFW. FYI. :)

Chapter 2: Vir lath sa'vunin

Del waited until the sun was actually above the horizon before padding into the silence of Solas's rotunda. The mysterious frescoes appeared more sinister in the lingering darkness, but the elf wasn't in his usual spot sleeping on the couch. Nor could she find him in any of his other usual haunts around Skyhold. Eventually, she gave up and moved on to Cullen's door.

She knocked loudly, expecting he might be upstairs given the early hour, but the door open immediately.

"Inquisitor!" Cullen said in surprise. He was dressed once again in his usual armor, looking prepared for the day even if the circles under his eyes had deepened. Behind him, she could see reports strewn across his desk and the candles lit. He had been awake for some time as well. "What would you have of me?"

She tried to think of something clever or diplomatic to say, but failed. "We need to talk."

"As you wish." He stepped back to allow her to enter, rubbing the back of his neck as he eyed her warily.

"So," she started, wringing her hands awkwardly. She wasn't quite sure where to start. "You're up early."

"As are you, Inquisitor."

"I couldn't sleep. Bad dreams."

A muscle jumped in his jaw. "I can sympathize."

Like a coward, she skirted the issue some more. "How are you feeling?"

His face closed off even further into an expression she couldn't read. "Inquisitor, there is no need for you to check in on me. I am well and will continue to perform to the best of my capabilities." He crossed his arms where he still stood near the door.

She ran a hand over her face in frustration. "Dammit, Cullen, I'm not Cassandra! I'm not going to relieve you from duty at the first sign of weakness. I'm here because I am your friend and I care about you. A-a-and I'm worried that I've irrevocably compromised that friendship b-by invading your privacy . . . and putting you in a compromising position. And now everything's awkward. And it's all my fault. And I want to fix everything to the way it was." It all came out in a rush, surprising both of them.

He frowned at her and didn't say anything for a moment. "I fail to see how any of what happened yesterday was your fault."

"I shouldn't have been checking in on you. I should have maintained our boundaries! But, after you confided in me the other day, I wanted to be worthy of that trust. A-a-and, it seems that, well, it seems that apparently, I am just not a very trustworthy person." She looked away, awash again in guilt about Solas and feeling hot tears prick at her tired, sandy eyelids.

His brow furrowed for a moment. "With all due respect, Inquisitor, you are wrong." The corner of lip quirked upward to soften his words.

She snorted. "Tell me something I don't know," she mumbled, ending in a pathetic sniff.

"Inquisitor . . . Del," he corrected himself. He took a deep breath. "You are worthy of trust. Ask anyone in the Inquisition and they would agree. But more importantly . . . you certainly have my trust. And I don't say that lightly."

"Really?" She looked up at him hopefully, feeling slightly better even though none of that had anything to do with Solas's opinion on the matter.

"Without a doubt," he said promptly. "I think . . ." He paused and wet his lower lip before continuing, "I think there's a certain bond a leader must build with those that follow her. The basis of that bond is trust. It's what gives people confidence in following her orders. The faith that they ultimately follow their own principles in following her. A good leader ensures she never breaks that faith."

She risked a look at his face, and he returned her gaze with sincerity. His words resonated even more after what she'd seen of his nightmare. "Your faith has been broken before," she said softly.

His nostrils flared. "Yes," he answered, even though she hadn't asked a question. "I trusted Meredith that her ends justified the means. Until I learned the full extent of her ends. And her means." His mouth thinned to a line. "And I defended her. Until the end. As a good templar ought," he said bitterly, his voice filled with self-loathing. He turned and moved a few paces away.

Del was speechless. Her own feelings of guilt were nothing compared to this. A stray kiss was worlds away from his life's betrayal. "I'm sorry," was all she could think to say.

He turned back to her. "Don't be sorry. Please. That's what I'm trying to say. Badly." He broke into a lopsided smile. "At the time, I said I would never again trust blindly. And I do not. You have earned my trust. Time and again. Not because of what you expect. But because of what you give. You're a leader worth following."

She's nothing like you. The words from her dream made much more sense now. He must have been dreaming about Meredith. But his nightmare was also about Del and about what she could become. His trust was such a fragile, precious thing that she now held in her hands. It made her feel even less worthy.

"Then I don't want either of us to be sorry for what happened yesterday," she said. "It doesn't change anything."

His face immediately clouded. "Are you certain?"

"Cullen, you were hurting. I . . . I heard you. I think you were dreaming about Meredith, weren't you?"

The guarded look was back but after a pause, he nodded.

"You said the nightmares are worse without lyrium. So this must be a common occurrence for you. I just wish there was more I could do to help you through this. I . . . I tried to wake you. But I think I must have just startled you. You needed a . . . connection, and I was there. It doesn't have to mean any more than that."

"But I kissed you," he said in an accusatory tone.

"Yes, you did. But now we're awake. And I hope, still friends." She smiled at him. "Our trust can't be broken this easily."

The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, but he still looked worried. "Does Solas know?"

Her face fell and she shook her head. "I haven't talked to him yet."

"And, you two are still . . .?"

She laughed, a short bitter sound. "I think so. Maybe. I hope so."

"I regret that I may have created problems for you on that front. More problems, from the sound of it."

"Like I said, this is also my fault. It didn't help that I'm admittedly a little attention starved right now. And I'm afraid you're quite the good kisser."

For just a fraction of second, his eyes smoldered with the fire she'd seen in him the day before, hot and unrepentant, before his frown returned. She swallowed hard.

"Del, I respect both you and Solas too much to . . . well, in principle for this to ever have happened in the first place." He shook his head, looking intensely embarrassed again, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I know that. Which is why I don't want this to be awkward. I need you in my life too much." She impulsively reached out and took his hand, squeezing it.

The move clearly took him aback, but instead of disentangling himself from the situation, he lightly dropped a chivalrous kiss onto the back of her hand. "Then, I will be there," he said simply.

"I'm glad. Especially now since . . ." She took a fortifying breath. "I have to go find Solas."

"Please, tell him . . . tell him I'll answer for my actions, if you think it will help."

"Thank you for the thought, Cullen, but if Solas takes any issue with this, he'll have to take it up with me."

She turned to go, but from behind her she heard, "Oh, and Del, for what it's worth, Solas told me about your full name when we first found you in Haven. He was trying to find out who you were while you were unconscious, on our orders. It seems that he can learn the truth of things from someone's dreams, and so at first, we all thought that was your true name. I'm sorry if that was privileged information. We didn't know."

She nodded meditatively, disappointed but unsurprised. "I see. Thank you for telling me," she said and began her search again for Solas.

ooXXoo

After looking everywhere she could think of, including the rotunda three times, she trudged in defeat up the seemingly endless steps to her tower. She shuffled into her bedroom, but then froze in her tracks.

Backlit against the wall of windows was a familiar form with his back to her and arms crossed as he looked out across the frozen river far below her tower.

"I have been waiting for you," Solas said unnecessarily before turning around. No greeting or smile. His expression was closed, his face composed. Like it had been in the Exalted Plains before he killed the mages who had harmed his friend.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," she said. "You weren't in the rotunda."

"No." He paused. "Were you with Cullen just now?"

Her eyebrows quirked up, surprised both at the prescience of his question and that he sounded so suspicious. And almost jealous.

Does he know? How could he know?

"Coincidentally, I was. Why do you ask?" she said coolly.

"For apparently no reason at all," he said in an equally cool voice, all his barriers infuriatingly intact.

"We were talking," she offered. "About you, in fact. About how much he respects you." Which was technically true.

"Is that so? He has a peculiar way of showing it." His lip curled up in a sneer.

"What do you mean?" she said nervously, her guilt fluttering up from the pit of her stomach.

"Oh come now, Inquisitor," he said, looking down his nose at her. His blue eyes were stone cold but his words were clipped and heated. "Do not insult my intelligence! It was only a matter of time before you took up with the fine Commander after I released you."

"You . . . released me?" She gaped at him and her heart convulsed in pain. "But, when? Why?"

"We both have known that there was no future between us. So there is no need to pretend. Not for my sake."

"I don't think I am the one pretending here."

He snorted in disdain. "And do you claim you are not involved with the Commander?" he scoffed.

"I do."

His face darkened into a menacing scowl and a dangerous glint flickered in his eyes. "Your lies do you no credit."

She ground her teeth, going on the offensive. "Then why are you here? If you're done with me, then why does it matter if I've taken up with Cullen?"

He became very still, but some kind of war raged inside of him. "You are quite right, Inquisitor," he said in a voice deadly quiet. "I will leave you be." He quickly strode toward the stairs, so she ran after him and grabbed his arm.

He rounded on her instantly with a snarl, and the look on his face, the violence he clearly held in check, made her drop her hand and back away. "Solas . . . please," was all she could say. Fear bloomed inside her along with an unexpected tendril of desire, drawn to his dark fury like a moonflower to the night.

He studied her for a moment, his normally serene face sharpened by anger, his hooded eyes running over her face, her body. His civilized façade was giving way to more primal impulses. Control won and he turned back toward her door.

"Solas, don't—"

Before she could finish her sentence, he had rounded on her again, seizing her shoulders in his unexpectedly strong grip and crushing his lips to hers, taking her breath away with his intensity. His hands roamed over her possessively and held her tightly against his hard chest. She clung to him, opening herself to his kiss, and willed him to see the truth in her.

He pressed her flat against the wall and his mouth roamed. His hand tangled in her short hair, canting her head sharply to the side as he nipped gently down her neck. She thought she caught a faint growl in the back of his throat, which did terrible things to her. Her breathing sped up and her knees trembled.

Then he released her just as abruptly and she almost fell. She gasped and leaned against the wall for support, feeling dazed.

"Forgive me," he said in a tight growl, barely under control. He paced away from her in tight circles, like a caged animal. "You have made your choice."

"Yes. You. It's always been you."

His brows drew down and his anger darkly flared again. "That was not the case yesterday when you gave yourself to Cullen."

". . . gave . . .? But, how did you . . .? He told you?" she asked, perplexed. How could Solas possibly know what happened yesterday?

He threw back his head, glaring down at her with that condescending sneer he turned upon the misguided and the stupid. "He didn't have to tell me! I saw your clandestine tryst in his room. Did you think you could hide your secrets from your dreams?"

Her mouth fell open. Of course. "You . . . you came into my dream last night? That was really you?" she gasped. She pictured Solas's silhouette, stalking toward her in the dream, like he had done just now. The bitter darkness and angry tempest that had interrupted that tryst. Someone actually had been watching.

He set his jaw and crossed his arms instead of answering.

"How dare you? So, this is how you knew about my given name, as well? Invading my privacy through my dreams?"

He flinched at her accusations, but then the arrogant mask was back in place. "Sometimes the Fade takes me where it will. In this case, it revealed your deception."

"But dreams are not truth, as you so often tell me!" she cried, thinking of how that final dream had been interrupted early to show only the most damning parts.

"Dreams can be nudged to be more forthcoming." He sounded smug, suggesting that there was a reason the dream had felt preternaturally real—and unchangeable. "So I am afraid I had a first-hand view of your dalliance."

"It wasn't a dalliance. It was an accident."

He laughed mockingly. "Is that the word the Dalish use these days?"

". . . which you would know, if you had bothered to watch the whole thing," she continued, ignoring his comment and starting to raise her voice. "I'm guessing you must have missed the part where I finally woke Cullen up from his nightmare. Where we both were mortified and apologized. Where no one . . . gave themselves to anyone!"

They glared at each other, but she could see that he was processing this, testing the truth of her claims, questioning what he thought he had seen, and what he had assumed. He stepped closer to her so that she had to look up at him.

"Truly?" he asked in almost a whisper. The word trembled in the air between them, fragile and raw.

"Truly. Nothing further happened. There's nothing between Cullen and I."

Although he stood perfectly still, the aura of danger and violence about him ebbed away.

At last, he lifted a hand and trailed his fingers down the side of her face. "Forgive me, vhenan," he murmured. "I am so often drawn to you in the Fade, unwittingly, I could not stop myself. I had to know. And . . . I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams." He traced her lips with his thumb and then cupped her cheek. "Jealousy is an unfamiliar emotion."

She leaned into his palm. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. Can you forgive me?"

A playful light shone from his eyes. "For invading another man's bed and allowing yourself to be kissed to distraction?"

"Oh, it sounds terrible that way!" she wailed, curling against his chest and hiding her face. "I was just trying to help!"

He slipped his arms around her and dropped a kiss on her bowed head. "There is nothing to forgive, d'alen. You had reason to doubt, and you are your own woman."

She looked up at him from within the circle of his arms. "I'm sorry I upset you. But . . . wait! You're not . . . releasing me, are you?" she said in a sudden panic, grabbing his tunic in two desperate fists.

He said something in Elvish that she didn't understand. Something that sounded sad about fate and maybe torment. In the common tongue he said, "It seems I cannot."

He lowered his head and gently kissed her, gradually becoming more urgent. His strong fingers splayed against her back and held her against him as he deepened the kiss. She twined her arms around his neck and rose up slightly on her toes in her eagerness.

Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her up, settling her on his hips and pulling her legs around his waist. "What are you doing?" she gasped, smiling.

"Ideally, kissing you to distraction."

He captured her mouth again as he walked them toward her bed, holding her without seeming effort, and laid her down. His lips traced along the sensitive line of her neck to where her pulse fluttered in excitement, his pace slow and deliberate and maddening.

"Such distraction . . ." he murmured against her skin, "that you will forget your real name." His hands methodically unsnapped the front of her tunic, and he followed with hot wet kisses, forging an inexorable path downwards that made her tremble in anticipation. "That the only name cried upon your lips will be mine, now and forever."

He continued his path lower, dipping his tongue into her navel, nipping at her hip, while his knowing hands ably removed the rest of her clothing. Now he spoke in lyrical Elvish, murmuring against her bared skin with each new reveal as if leaving behind an invisible imprint of his worship. She quivered at each syllable, the cadence of the unknown words thrumming across her flesh and pulsing through her most intimate places.

Caught up in his spell, she mewled something that wasn't a word, but a feeling, a pledge, a plea. He answered by expertly bringing her right to the edge, but no further, keeping her in an exquisite state of heightened anticipation.

She was practically keening with want until she very well might have forgotten her own name. All she could gasp was his, first in exultation, then in question, and then a breathless jumble of commands and entreaties.

Finally, in wonder she cried, "Solas!" Then she crashed over the edge under a thousand mindless waves of sensation.

She was still shuddering and gasping for breath, eyes shut to savor the moment, when she felt hasty kisses pressed to her lower lip, at the corner of her mouth, on the edge of her jaw, imperfectly placed in his urgency. She opened her eyes and her arms to him as he moved over her, thrilling to feel his now bared skin sliding upon hers.

He continued his Elvish narration, lips pressed just below her ear, his smooth voice becoming rough. His words stumbled, turning into a moan as they came together, and then continued as they found their rhythm.

She finally caught a few words, endearments, her name, but they became more fractured as he brought them both back up to the precipice. She clung to him, fingers digging into the muscles in his back, building even higher, until soon she was crying his name again to the heavens, to the rest of Skyhold and anyone who might be in earshot.

He wasn't far behind, and as he followed her over the edge, his words suddenly came to a shuddering halt. He pressed his forehead to hers and looked deeply into her eyes. With no barriers of any kind between them, she truly saw him for the first time, and his vulnerability. Elation, blissful contentment, unexpected joy, but underneath also fear, a piercing loneliness and soul-deep sorrow. Then, she was blinded by an otherworldly flash of silver.

She blinked and the moment was gone. Blue eyes smiled down at her and, with a contented sigh, Solas collapsed against her side, resting his face in the crook of her neck.

She gathered him to her and delighted at the pleasant weight of him atop her, limbs tangled haphazardly with hers, warm breath lightly fanning her throat. He started to stir again, pressing a few soft kisses to her neck before lifting himself up on an elbow above her. A small smile played on his face as he gazed down at her lovingly. Under the warmth of his scrutiny she felt unexpectedly naked and belatedly realized that with no barriers between them, he could see her truly as well.

He trailed his fingers down the side of her face. "Properly distracted, I would say," he said, sounding pleased with himself.

She surprised herself by blushing, apparently still so distracted she didn't know how else to respond other than to giggle.

His trailing fingers continued down her neck, between her breasts, across her flat stomach to her hip, making her shiver. He sighed. "I should go before we provide more fodder for the gossips."

"Ar lath ma. I don't care if people know," she said, biting her lip and wondering how he would respond. Now that she knew he still cared, she was prepared to declare her love from the tallest tower herself. Leliana no doubt had already received a report about them anyway.

He leaned down and gave her another long kiss, sweet yet thorough. "Nor do I, ma sa'lath. But our detailed comings and goings and . . . comings . . ." He grinned wolfishly and pressed his lips to the hollow of her throat before continuing. "Those details are for us alone. For our sake. And for Cullen's after the foolishness yesterday."

He moved to sit up, but she panicked. "Don't leave," she said, pulling him back.

He immediately rolled back to her side and gathered her in his arms, tucking her head under his chin. He held her quietly for a moment, somehow sensing that she had meant something longer term than just leaving her bed. "You are part of me, ma vhenan. Now and forever."

She smiled against his chest, thrilling at that phrase again. Now and forever. She held it to her, cherishing it, and ignored the hint of sadness in his voice as he said it.

He leaned back and traced a line down the bridge of her nose with his. "Never forget that. Even when I am not at your side. Promise me." He kissed her again, once, twice, thrice, and her head spun. "Promise me," he repeated, as if this one point was very important.

She nodded. "I promise. No more doubts."

His eyes fell shut at her answer, whether from relief or sorrow, she couldn't tell.

When he opened his eyes again, their fire was rekindled. An answering warmth unfurled inside her. "Ma nuvenin, vhenan," he said, giving her a suggestive smile and dipping his head toward her. "Let them talk."

Fin

A/N2: Sooo, this was my first time writing Solas, my new love, although inevitably, it would also feature Cullen. LOL Baby steps. I hope you enjoyed it, gentle reader. Thanks for reading!

More Elvish translations for reference:

Ma nuvenin – As you say/wish

(Ma) vhenan – My heart

Ar lath ma – I love you

Ma sa'lath – My one love

Vir lath sa'vunin – We love another day [[a line from the Elven eulogy, see wiki/Codex_entry:_In_Uthenera]]