The first weekend of October brings a definite change in the weather. Although the sky is blue and the sun shines, the temperature dives. Hermione can see her breath billowing up in a white cloud as they walk down to Hogsmeade on Saturday afternoon, with permission this time.
Ever since she talked to Sirius, Hermione has noticed a definite mood shift in the dynamics of their group. It feels like they're all actually friends. Before, they had just been thrown together by a common cause to help the sick students and bring them justice, and they still had that goal, but Hermione knows their group has turned into something more now.
Sirius and Remus walk up ahead of them all. Sirius has his arm draped over Remus' shoulders and is talking to him with his head bent next to Remus' ear. Hermione grins privately to herself. Those two have obviously made up.
Lily is explaining some magical theory to Peter, who seems to be struggling in his elective class, and the two are lagging behind.
This leaves Hermione walking side by side with James the whole way down to Hogsmeade. At first, the silence is awkward and Hermione is much too conscious of Sirius laughing loudly ahead of them and Lily talking patiently to Peter behind them.
"What did you say to Sirius?" James asks suddenly.
Hermione blinks in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Well, three days ago Sirius couldn't look at you or hear your name without having an ulcer and now he's your biggest fan. And he and Remus seem a lot closer."
"I just told him he had to apologize to Lupin for attacking him."
"Wha-? P-please, Granger," James laughs loudly like Hermione told him the joke of the century. "I know my best friend a little better than that. If you'd gone up to Sirius and told he had to apologize, he'd have spat right in your face. I'm sorry to be so crude but it's the truth! Sirius Black does not like to be told what to do, much less by someone he dislikes."
"Well," Hermione sniffs and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, "maybe Sirius Black likes me better than you think. Besides, I can be quite persuasive."
James stares at her, baffled and a bit intrigued, Hermione thinks.
When they reach Hogsmeade, Sirius and Remus are waiting for them impatiently. Sirius is hopping on the spot to keep warm.
"'Bout time you guys showed up. Evans!" Sirius shouts, looking over their shoulders. "Stop groping Peter and get your arses over here!"
Hermione whips around, but Lily and Peter are thankfully not groping or snogging or anything of the sort. Lily's cheeks are bright red but from the chilly air if anything. She scowls at Sirius when she and Peter finally reach them.
"Ever heard of decency, Black? Pettigrew was asking for pointers about how to tackle his assignment on-"
Sirius and James groan loudly in unison. "Please, Evans, can we just enjoy our day out of that bloody castle without having any talk of school work?" James pleads.
Evans huffs but then rolls her eyes. Whereas just a few weeks ago she would have snapped at James for his apparent academic disinterest, today she just hides a little smile and concedes. "All right, but you can't fool me, Potter. I've seen you study, you know. I know your secret."
James puts a hand to his chest and gasps. "And here I wanted everyone to believe that I reached seventh year without handing in a single assignment."
Lily only smirks at that, not rising to the bait, but Hermione almost does. Somehow, she doesn't think James is being sarcastic at all. She hasn't seen him or Sirius do a lick of work, except occasionally browsing their textbooks, in the whole time she's been here. When do they do their work?
Before she can speak up, though, Sirius pipes up again, already bored with their conversation. "All right, I call the Hog's Head! First rounds on me, as a much belated thank you to Granger for having given the Slytherins what they had coming to them!"
Now that Sirius is no longer being hostile toward all of them and Hermione can really appreciate the gravitational pull around his person. He has a charisma about him that makes others want to be his friend, an easiness of spirit that's so light it floats up like a shining beacon, attracting all those searching for something beautiful in their lives. Of course, Sirius has his dark days, his mood swings, but it only brings more appeal to his person, somehow.
"What, Butterbeer this early?" Lily looks aghast. "It's barely past noon. Besides, I wanted to get some shopping out of the way first."
"I have some potion supplies to get as well," Remus adds. Sirius rounds on him.
"But, Moony," he whines, drawing out the double-o sound, "Butterbeer!"
Finally, they all decide that they'll go their separate ways and meet up at the Hog's Head when all their shopping has been done. Hermione watches them all scatter – Sirius dashes off to Honeydukes, Remus makes a beeline for the apothecary, and James and Lily head off together toward Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. Hermione doesn't know if she should wait for them at the Hog's Head or follow one of them.
One the one hand, if she stays rooted to the spot they may wonder why she's not getting any shopping done, and Hermione really doesn't want to explain her penniless situation. She starts going after James and Lily. At least she can do some good and act as a referee if they start going at each other again.
When Hermione looks up however, the sight she sees takes her by surprise. James and Lily are already deep in conversation. James is talking, gesticulating wildly with his arms every few seconds and Hermione hears Lily laugh, a genuinely surprised sound.
James and Lily haven't been butting heads or ending every conversation frustrated with each other like they used to. Although they still bicker, there's less venom in their words, and when one finally ups the other with the final word the result is a frustrated laugh and then a smile calling for a truce. Still, Hermione has never seen them get along this well and she's never heard Lily laugh like that at something James has said before.
It's a beautiful sight, Hermione thinks right away. Those two are Harry's parents, obviously getting along and finally growing close. It's obvious they're meant to be together. Hermione should be thrilled to see them this close.
But why does she feel so sad instead?
As though he feels her eyes on him, James turns around to look over his shoulder. He's already smiling when he sees Hermione staring and this time, when he winks at her, Hermione doesn't feel like it's meant for her. James is obviously thrilled at having made Lily laugh, at being in Lily's company. Is Hermione just in the way now?
Hermione feels like her heart is growing too big for her chest and her lungs are deflating. She can't bear the sight of James and Lily being so close. James has stopped walking forward and he's turned her way fully now. Lily turns around too, curious as to what has made James stop.
"Granger? Are you okay?"
Hermione thinks fast. "I forgot, I need some potion ingredients as well. I'll see you guys at the Hog's Head." She turns around before James can reach her and dashes off. She hears Lily calling her name, but Hermione doesn't slow down until she reaches the apothecary.
She yanks the door open and starts to barge her way in, nearly bumping into Remus who is on his way out.
"Granger? What's wrong? What happened?"
Hermione only notices now how Remus' face is blurred and how she's breathing hard through her mouth because her nose is stuffed up. She forces herself to smile and wipes the tears from her cheeks.
"Nothing. A piece of dirt flew into my eyes."
Remus looks utterly unconvinced.
"I'm fine, Lupin." Hermione is scared she might actually start crying for real – shaking shoulders and a runny nose crying – if Remus presses the matter. As long as she keeps the image of Lily looking up at James with that wide smile from her mind, Hermione thinks she'll be okay. "I just remembered that I had some potion ingredients to get as well."
"I'll wait for you."
Hermione tries to look grateful. "I know you have more things to get. I only have a few things to grab so I'll take my time. Kill some minutes, you know?"
Remus continues to look uncertain but he seems to realize that Hermione needs her space. "All right," he says slowly. "I'll see you later."
Hermione waits until Remus has left the store. There are a handful of students browsing the selections and the few who witnessed the exchange shoot Hermione curious looks. Hermione ignores them all and pretends to scan the shelves, looking for what she needs.
In all truth, even if she did need something, Hermione hardly has the means to buy anything right now. Instead, she just pretends to be fascinated with every potion ingredient in the store. Thankfully, it does help to keep her mind off of her irrational and uncalled-for jealousy. Really, who is she to be jealous of James and Lily? She should be thrilled – this is what she'd been hoping for since the day she realized James had shifted his fancy.
Hermione mentally slaps herself. This is not what keeping her mind off of James and Lily feels like. Somehow, Hermione manages to turn her brain off and focus entirely on the wonderful variety of potion ingredients the store has to offer. By the time she thinks to look at the pendulum clock by the front door she realizes that she's been zoning out for over an hour and a half. Surely everyone must be done shopping by now and waiting for her at the Hog's Head.
The Hog's Head is filled with rowdy Hogwarts students when Hermione walks in, but she sees her group of friends in the back. Thankfully, they managed to find a table. She takes a seat by Remus, trying to avoid Lily and James' gazes. Now that she's calmed down, she feels so embarrassed for the way she acted earlier. Breaking down in tears in the middle of the street? That's not usually her style.
Thankfully, six Butterbeers are brought to their table and Sirius stands.
"A toast, to the biggest badass among us!" He raises his glass Hermione's way and Hermione can't help but laugh.
"Hear! Hear!" James says loudly and they all raise their glasses. Hermione can feel herself blushing.
Sirius sits back down. "I can't wait to give it to those Slytherins myself. First Quidditch game, they'll get what's coming to them."
"I hope you mean beating them using no dirty tactics or breaking every rule of the game?"
Sirius grins. "Sure, Evans, that's exactly what I meant."
The conversation quickly develops into a full-fledged debate on Gryffindor's prospects for the House Cup which then digresses into discussions on the professional league.
By the time they leave the Hog's Head Hermione's head is spinning around like a bad Seeker looking for the snitch. Although she knows her fair share about Quidditch, James and Sirius throw out names and statistics faster than she can process them. Obviously they don't read those Quidditch magazines purely for their image.
After they leave the Hog's Head, they all idly walk the streets of Hogsmeade. James and Sirius are still caught up in one particular debate that the rest of them dropped out of long ago and Hermione can hear James getting frustrated.
"Who bloody cares if the Magpies are making a show of being the best? They are the bloody best!"
"They're stripping the game of its spirit. It's not just about trying to win anymore, it's about bragging to the world about how it's all so easy for them."
"Maybe that's because it is!"
"It is not! They don't have a perfect winning streak, do they? No, they don't. Maybe if they stopped creating petitions in Murray's honor they'd get some more practice hours in and then they'd have something to be bragging about."
"But the petitions are hilarious!"
Hermione and Lily roll their eyes as the argument starts full circle again. Peter disappears at one point and then reappears with a huge stash of candy which he shares with all of them. Hermione refuses the offer. She may be tolerating his presence, but she still can't bring herself to accept anything from him. He still repulses her.
Somehow, they end up walking back to Hogwarts without agreeing to head back first. James and Sirius eventually give up on the Quidditch debate and start talking about new strategies they should try this year for their first match coming up in November.
"We'll see you guys later," James says when they've reached the castle entrance.
"Where are you going? It's dinnertime." Lily looks surprised as James and Sirius start turning around to walk back down the stairs.
"We've got to try out these new ideas, we'll eat later!" And with that James and Sirius bound back down the steps and rush to the storage room where the school brooms are kept.
Lily rolls her eyes. "Those boys." She turns to Hermione then, her expression grim. "Are you okay? I meant to ask you earlier, but I didn't think I should with everyone around."
Remus and Peter have already gone inside the castle. Apparently, Peter's stomach wins over in the decision to follow his friends or go to dinner.
"Yes, I'm fine. Just, you and James together… It made me think of a friend of mine, is all," Hermione gives Lily a small smile.
Lily's expression melts and she squeezes Hermione's arm sympathetically. "I know how it is to be homesick. Even writing letters doesn't help much. It's almost winter holiday, though. Will you be heading home? Maybe you can see your friend then?"
"Maybe," Hermione says slowly, not liking the direction the conversation has taken. "I don't know yet. Christmas is, ah, not a joyful time of the year for me. I don't want to talk about it. Maybe I'll stay here. "
Lily nods, knowing better than to pry. "Come on," she says with a small smile. "Let's go eat."
Hermione feels bad for deceiving Lily, but technically she didn't lie. She tells herself that if James fancies Lily once more, she won't stand in their way. She has no right to. This is what is meant to happen. She'll be happy for them and she'll encourage them, and she'll squash her feelings for James because they were never meant to happen.