Both Sheldon and Penny sat in silence in their car as Penny drove down through the streets of Pasadena. This was not a good start to their romantic weekend getaway . 'We made our decision Sheldon, just relax and enjoy our break away from the kids.'

'You made our decision Penny.'

'And I'm happy with it.'

'Good... well as long as your happy that our teenage daughter and her friends are home alone in our house with a bunch of spotty testosterone fuelled boys and of which both parties will likely ... good.'

'Sheldon, for once could you not just suffer in silence? I need to show Lilly that I trust her and I trust that she won't leave a mess for me to clean up when I get back. Try lying to yourself Sheldon, it'll make you feel happier about the situation.'

'Oh so when you said you were happy you were lying to yourself were you?'

'No, I was lying to you.'

'I knew I should have kept that manual that Wolowitz gave me when I married you. It would have told me exactly what to do if a situation like this ever occurred.' Sheldon sighed, looking out the window.

'Shelly relax... Mrs Jackson has my cell number and I told her to give me a ring should the need arise for it. Lilly is nearly 17 years old, it's time we gave her a little responsibility. We've done all we can, we might as well enjoy the evening.'

'Ha!' Sheldon chuckled to himself, 'And you believe that?'

'Of course not! I'm lying!' Penny cried and this time it was Sheldon's turn to roll his eyes.

'Oh God, this is going to be a long weekend away.'

'Stop your moaning Sheldon, look... there's an off license there. Pop in and get a couple of bottles of wine for us to enjoy. The hotel will probably charge an extortionate amount if we order one there.' Penny said, pulling over and parking outside the small off license.

'Well considering your mood, I think we'd better get a crate.' Sheldon murmured under his breath, to which he got a sharp glare from Penny, 'keep your eyes on the road darling,' he added with a grin before getting out the car and running into the shop. After a good ten minutes of browsing, Sheldon brought up two bottles of wine and some Kool-Aid to the counter.

'Anything else I can get for you tonight?' the young cashier asked.

'No that's it thank you.' Sheldon said handing over the money when suddenly a bunch of young men came into the store.

'Yo James, you coming out tonight... there's a sic party going on down at some girls place down town, you in?'

'Dude I'm working tonight,'

'Aww come on dude, end it early. Some girl has been given the run about of her house by her parents. It's gonna be totally wild!'

'Ha! What a bunch of idiots. They're house is gonna get trashed by every drunken youth in the nearest 300 miles!' the cashier laughed, oblivious to Sheldon's look of horror as he just stood watching the youths, unaware that he had been given his change already.

'So you in man?'

'Yeah! Hey... we'd better get there early... you know just so there's something left to trash!'

Upon hearing that, Sheldon snapped back to reality and rushed out through the door.

'Penny, drive home now! Those two boys in there are going to trash MY house!'

'What?'

'Penny, just drive home now! I'll explain on the way. Drive faster!' Sheldon cried before proceeding to explain to Penny what he had just over heard.

'Sheldon, there's hundreds of party's probably going on near where we live on a Saturday night. It;s not going to be our house they turn up to.' Penny sighed and Sheldon shook his head.

'No I can feel it. I mean the guy said the parents were obviously idiots. I just want a quick look around... that's all Penny. Just a quick check.'

'And what if Lilly sees us? Then she'll definitely think I don't trust her!'

'Then we'll tell her that we've forgotten something, you know like my vintage comic book that I take everywhere.'

'But I saw you pack that.'

'I know that I did and you know that I did, but does Lil? Exactly. Cover story! Penny's its our house, they're our children, why shouldn't we come back?'

'And spy on them?'

'Yes, I mean no! Look, let's just be open about it, it'll show that we care and that we have integrity and honesty and the will to build a trusting relationship and...'

'Best if we park around the corner?'

'Yes, I agree with that statement Penny.'

Penny and Sheldon stood outside their front door, ears pressed against it.

'Sheldon... I can't hear anything. Can you?'

'No...'

'That's good right?'

'No... that's bad. There's no music, so they're not dancing. So if they're not dancing... then what are they doing?' Sheldon said, his voice lowering with hints.

'Sheldon! Lil is still a minor... she wouldn't! What if they're conducting a Satanic ritual?'

'I hadn't thought of that.' Sheldon said before moving to put his key in the door.

'Sheldon! Are you insane?'

'Oh come on! Just one look...Come on, don't fight it. This could be your only chance to find out what your kids get up to when you're not there. What's the harm in one little look? You know you want to...'

'I hate how persuasive you are with words Shelly.' Penny growled before opening the front door. 'Strange... No Lilly, no Ollie and no Stevie? If they aren't here, where are they? Oh I know... the pub.' Penny smiled at the same time as Sheldon stated:

'The bedrooms.' and with that, Sheldon quickly made his way upstairs.

'Sheldon! Come back! We've got to go before Lilly gets back with all her friends!' Penny cried, jumping when the door opened to reveal her children and all their friends. Running quickly up the stairs after Sheldon, she threw them both in their bedroom and slammed the door shut. 'Happy now Sheldon? Now we're stuck here!'

'Hey, look we're still alone and we're together... in our bedroom. And it's nice and quiet.' Sheldon smiled, only to have it cut short when the sudden boom of extremely loud music came drumming through the floor. 'Well, we've still got wine and Kool-Aid.'

'Hmmm, well I suppose we'd better make the best of things.' Penny sighed before turning to look at her husband with a grin on her face, 'Things are turning out just as you predicted honey... ear splitting music, stains on the carpet and what was next again?' Penny asked, leaning back and biting her lip as she spoke, 'Ah yes... groping in the bedroom,' she said seductively, slipping off her cardigan to reveal her bare shoulders.

'Mmm yes, I do believe that's the best bit.' Sheldon grinned as both of them leapt onto the bed and under the covers. 'Now come here...' Sheldon said leaning in for a kiss.

'Quick someone's coming!' Penny cried, pulling the duvet over both of them.

'Hey everyone, just plonk your coats and bags in here.' came Stephen's voice and suddenly both Sheldon and Penny felt the weight of coats on their bodies. Stephen looked on at one of the girls in the room, 'And er you... you can put your stuff in my room if you want.' he grinned.

'Er in you dreams, as if I'd put my stuff on someone who still wets the beds bed. Plus... you and I? Never gonna happen.' the girl scoffed before walking out.

'LILLY!' Stephen cried before running out aswell. As soon as the door had shut, both Penny and Sheldon resurfaced. As Sheldon made to move one of the coats, a small box fell out onto his face.

'Oh look, technology today... makes things so small that they fall out your pocket easily. That's why things go missing. I'm sure the owner of this coat won't want to lose his...' Sheldon looked down at the product, 'Strawberry flavoured... oh... well I guess kids do come prepared nowadays.' Sheldon said, trailing off as he realised he was holding a box of condoms.

'Well that's good, they're being sensible when it comes to safe sex.' Penny grinned.

'Not really, because he's left his condoms here when he should have taken them with him.' Sheldon chuckled to himself before popping them on the side and moving over to kiss his wife.

'Quick under!' Penny hissed as the door opened and once again she and Sheldon were under the sheets. 'I feel like a naughty teenager who's afraid of getting caught.' Penny giggled in a whisper.

'Come on Kevin,' a female voice could be heard.

'It's Dave actually.'

'Yeah whatever,' the female said before both Sheldon and Penny heard kissing noises and the bed dip. Sheldon screwed his face shut in horror as Penny stifled a giggle.

'Hey! What do you think you two are doing?!' Lilly's voice suddenly cut through the air.

'That's my girl.' Penny whispered with a smile.

'Er.. what does it look like we're doing?'

'Get out Emily! This is my parents room! You'll probably break the bed... no one's had sex in it for years!' Lilly cried. Penny gasped and threw back the covers to yell at her daughter when all of a sudden Sheldon pulled her back under. Thankfully Lilly didn't see her mother but as soon as the door closed, Penny broke free of the sheets.

'No sex in this bed for years? Years! Who does our daughter think I am? Mother Theresa? I'm Penny, goddess of sex!'

'Yes. Thank you for that information Penny.' Sheldon sighed, suddenly having the urge to use the bathroom, 'Oh bugger, I really need to use the bathroom.'

Penny blinked at Sheldon as his words sunk in, 'Sheldon you can't! Our bathroom is broken and you can't use the one across the hall... Lilly might see you!' Sheldon opened his mouth, 'And no you can't use the sink! I will not have you pissing in our sink!'

'Why did our bloody son have to break the bloody bathroom!'

'Sheldon, it's 11 now, the party will be over by 3... that's only around 4 hours to go... you can hold it.' Penny smiled. Suddenly her phone rang and sighing she picked it up.

'Hello... oh hello Mrs Jackson. Yes. Yes.. Oh is the music too loud? I'll tell her to turn it down.' Penny smiled, 'What? There's a man urinating out of the wind...ow.' Penny looked on in horror as her husband stood there relieving himself, a far cry from what he would have done 20 years ago. 'SHELDON!' she cried running over and slamming the window shut.

'AHHHH!' he cried out in pain. 'You can't just stop me while I'm doing it.'

'Yes I can!'

'No you can't. I have to use the bathroom and if I can't use the window then I shall use the god damn bathroom across the hall!' he cried, running out of the bedroom and across towards the bathroom. As he walked past, he saw a couple of teenagers kissing in the corner. Shrugging, he slipped the box of condoms in the pocket of the teenager and turned around for another strange friend of Lilly's who threw up on him.

'Ugh, just great... that is truly disgusting.' Sheldon grimaced as he stripped himself of his clothes in the bathroom. Thank god he was now able to have a shower in his own bathroom and get rid of this horrid stench that had engulfed his clothes. The door was locked and he was finally in peace... until the doorknob shook.

'Hello? Is anyone in there?' a female's voice called. Scrunching his eyes shut in annoyance, he got in the tub and pulled the shower curtain across to it his his naked body. 'Lilly, the bathroom door is locked and I don't think there's anyone in there.'

'Ahh that's the third time this evening, don't worry Sacha... I'll show you a trick to unlock it.' Sheldon heard Lilly say and then came the dreaded click noise as the door unlocked.

'Cheers babe.' Sacha said, walking in with another friend, 'So you pulled tonight Emily?'

'Yeah, that Kevin dude or was his name Dave? One or the other. I think he twisted my bra strap though... would you mind having a look?'

'yeah sure,' Sheldon just shut his eyes in horror. This was so not the place he wanted to be in right now... why did he have to check the bedrooms? 'When will boys learn... opening a bra is not the same as opening a can of lager!'

'Are there any towels in here?'

'I don't know.'

A look of dread formed on Sheldon's face as he realised that the shower curtain was covering the towel cupboard and that dreaded moment came when he saw the shadow of a girl reaching forward to move the curtain. Thinking quickly he quietly lay down on the floor of the bath and breathed a silent sigh of relief when she didn't see him. As soon as her back was turned, Sheldon quickly pulled the shower curtain back over to cover him and he leant up against the bath, holding his head in his hands as yet more girls entered the room. This was turning out to be the worst holiday ever, especially since Lilly was with them!

'Hey girls... have you seen Simon's piercing?' Lilly laughed.

'He has a piercing? Where?'

'Down... there? You know,'

'What! Why on earth would he get it there?'

'So you can find it,' Lilly laughed and Sheldon could not believe what he was having to listen in on.

'Er Lil... I can't find any soap.' Sacha said and Lilly took a swig out of her bottle.

'Oh it's over by the bath, hang on...' Lilly wondered over to the bath and reached over, picking it up. Sheldon suddenly believed that there was a god when his daughter didn't see him sitting stark naked in the bath.

'Does anyone mind if I use the toilet?' One of the girls said and Sheldon decided that there and now was the exact moment he wanted to kill himself.

When all the girls finally left the bathroom, Sheldon was ecstatic. That had been the worst 10 minutes of his life. Or should he say so far as another person had just walked into the room and locked the bathroom door. He heard this person pulling open the top of the toilet. For what reason, he didn't know but he sure didn't want to know.

'Bingo!' he chuckled to himself. He was a bloke. Sheldon pulled a face and pulled back the shower curtain to see Oliver sitting on the toilet and lighting up a cigarette.

'Oliver!' Sheldon hissed and his son turned to look at him, dragging on his cigarette.

'Oh hi dad.'

'Oliver I need you help.'

'Pardon.'

'I need your help.'

'Sorry one more time please Dad... this music's getting to my hearing,' Ollie grinned.

'Oh for Gods sake Oliver!'

'Sorry dad, I was enjoying that.'

'Lilly has taken all my clothes and then all her girl friends came in and you know...'

'Dad,' Oliver said, cutting his father off, 'we've all been there.'

'Just get me a towel Ollie,' Sheldon said and when Ollie passed him a hand towel he gave his son the most evil look he could, 'Are you doing this deliberately?'

'Yup.'

'Just get me a proper one!' Sheldon said. Once he had been handed a towel, he wrapped it around his body which almost restored a shred of his dignity, 'Now, I need you to escort me back to my bedroom with Lilly seeing me.'

'Alright, but what's in it for me?'

'Oliver... a life is at stake here!'

'Yeah, who's?'

'YOURS! Besides... why the hell are you smoking a cigarette! I didn't raise you to be like that!'

'Hey, don't lecture me now dad... remember I've got to get you back to your room with out Lilly seeing.'

'Ugh fine, but we will have a talk young man!'

Suddenly a rapping sound came from the door. 'Ollie hurry up! Kevin's out here! I need to get him in the bathroom before he's sick!'

'Again? That boy is a bottomless pit!' Sheldon cried, shocked.

'Just a minute... aren't you supposed to be on holiday?' Oliver said and Sheldon shook his head in despair. Oliver smirked and opened up the window, 'Alright dad, what you do if you climb out the window. Shimmy up the drain pipe and that will give you a firm grip on the guttering above. Slide, slide, slide, slide, slide, swing your legs across and there you are at your bedroom.'

Sheldon blinked at his son, 'What? Are you sure that's tobacco your smoking?' He didn't really notice that Oliver neglected to answer his question, he just wanted to get out.

'Well it always works for me.'

'Ollie! Open up I have to come in!'

'Dad trust me!'

'Alright, alright!' Sheldon sighed, climbing through the window, 'But give me a boost.'

'Ollie, I'm serious! Open up or I'll let him barf in your room!'

'Just a minute Lil!' Oliver cried, giving his dad a boost.

'No Ol, you're gonna have to pull me back. I can't do this... your mother is the agile body in this family, not I!'

'Dad, I've got you, I've got you!' Ollie said and he tried to give Sheldon another boost, only to trip backwards and find himself holding the towel that had been wrapped around his father only moments before. 'Ohh... I'm so grounded.' He murmured as he watched his fathers legs dangle in front of him at the same time as Lilly busted the door open.

'Ollie what the hell are... you... doing.' Lilly trailed off as she followed her brother's gaze, 'Oh my god... is that... Dad?' She cried in horror. 'Oh my God, no this is not happening!' She exclaimed, running out of the bathroom.

'Er... son... would you mind explaining how I get to my room again?'

Haha thanks for your reviews guys, they really motivate me! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll be posting the next one soon! Let me know what you think!

xxchompchompchompxx