Chapter 10
~Katniss~
This night seemed to be going on for ever. I felt like I have been here for ten hours but when I look at the clock, it was now turning six. I stood there talking to Clove while Luna was off talking to some people she trains with, when Brutus and Enobaria came to us.
"Come on, it's time for dinner." Brutus said.
"Okay." Clove and I said together and we followed them to a giant table. Apparently Brutus' Trainees and Enobarias' students were eating together. Clove went to sit next to her Trainer while I looked for a place to sit, and the only one left open was between Brutus and, Cato. Great. We haven't spoken to each other since that dance. This is about to get really awkward. It sit down in the chair and an Avox comes and puts a plate of food I front of each of us. We started to tuck in and the conversations started, most of it was asking me question and I knew they were coming.
"So Spitfire, how has your training been going so far?" Enobaria asked me.
"It's been an adjustment. It took a while to get used to it but I'm managing." I explain vaguely.
"It can't be that different than your home District can it?" she pressed and I looked nervously at Brutus.
"Enobaria, you know very well that her District isn't going to become common knowledge. Drop it." he said with a harsh tone of voice.
"It's just a simple question. No need to get worked up." she said and I just sighed.
"No need to pry either." he retorted.
"Can we just pick another topic?" Clove almost shouted to them. She sat across from me and I mouthed a thank you to her and she just nodded.
"Well she is the topic! No one knows her name except for Brutus, some of the Peacekeepers, and the other Trainers including me, and nobody else knows where she's from. And your reason for that I can totally understand." she said looking at me.
"And what would be that reason?" Cato asked from my left.
"If I told you you'd easily figure it out." I said then taking another bite from my plate. I could feel Cato's eyes boring holes into my face, but I continue to eat what ever kinda of pasta this is.
"So what kind of training has Brutus put you through?" Enobaria asked.
"Now that you can answer." he said to me.
"Um a lot of things. Throwing spears and knives, climbing, obstacle courses, Hand-To-Hand combat, and that's about it so far." I explain to her and she nods.
"Find any that you're really good at?" she pried again and I looked at my teacher, asking if I can answer it.
"Vaguely." he commented back to me, as if reading my mind.
"A little bit but not quite yet." I say and Clove rolls her eyes at me with a chuckle.
"Could you be any more vague?" she asked with a sarcastic tone.
"Yep." I simply state earning a laugh from her and a chuckle from Brutus.
"So do you miss home?" Clove asked me and earned a glare from Brutus. "What I'm not asking about it I just want to know if she misses it. Don't bite my head off." she snapped.
"Like my Hunger Games?" Enobaria said with a sly smile, showing her Capitol given teeth. I mentally shudder and look back to Clove.
"I do actually. There are some things that I don't miss but there are others that I really do miss." I reply.
"What about your family? What are they like?" Enobaria continues with the questions. "And before you snap at me Brutus," she says holding a hand up to him as he opens his mouth. "It's a simple question that gives nothing away and she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to." she scolds him and he nods to me allowing me to answer the question if I choose to.
"They are great, they're one of the things I miss the most." I reply feeling like I'm in an interview.
"Is it a big or small family?" Cato asked curiously.
"Pretty small." are the only two words that leave my lips and I know they know that they won't get an answer further. They somehow find a new topic to talk about and I manage to stay out of the conversation for most of it, only talking when I'm spoken to. Finally the night comes to a close and I found Luna and we start heading up to our room, all he while I could feel Cato's eyes on the the back of my head. When we get up to our room and kick my shoes off and chuck them to the closet.
"What is with him lately?" I think out loud.
"What's with who?" Luna asked curiously as she removed her make-up in the bathroom.
"Cato, he keeps staring at me all night, during dinner, after dinner, and when we were leaving." I said to her and I took the opportunity to get changed quickly into my pajamas.
"I told you I think he likes you." she said coming out of the bathroom with a clean face. I walked past her and took her place at the counter to take off my own make-up.
"But he's spent most of his time trying to figure me out, my name, my District, my skills, everything. Why would that suddenly change?" I finished my rant and taking of my make-up at the same time and went to work on my hair.
"Maybe after spending so much time trying to figure you out he has realized his true feelings?" she suggested.
"He's been training since he was a kid for the Games, Careers aren't supposed to feel any emotions because they think it makes them look weak." I rebuke.
"But you thrive off of emotions in your training right?" she asks me and she's right.
"Yeah because they make me work harder so I can't get home to my sister." I say to her.
"Then I don't seen why they can't feel the same way." she said and I was happy that I was getting off the topic of Cato supposedly liking me. "Tell you what, since you seem stressed why don't we go for a walk tomorrow around the District after Training hours?" she offered and I sighed in relief.
"That would be great." I say after finally brushing out my hair. I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom sitting on my bed.
"Great, we'll leaving half hour after Training Hours?" she says looking at me and I nod. "It'll give us a chance to get cleaned up from working all day." she said.
"Yeah good thinking."
"Well I'm going to bed. Good night."
"Good night." I said and we turned off the lights. I could tell by her light snores that she was asleep five minutes later but I just laid there and thought about what had happened tonight. This was a different side of Cato that I had never seen before. And the only question running through my head was, why?
The next day after training had ended, showering, and changing into regular clothes, I was in a black pants, black sneakers, and a dark blue tank top with my hair in it's usual braid. We walked around the District for a while when we came across a few familiar faces, Citch and, Cato? They were laughing at something and only noticed us when they nearly bumped into us. And Cato would've walked right into me if I hadn't maneuvered out of the way.
"Oh my apologies," Citch started but he noticed it was us and smiled. "Spitfire, Luna, nice to see you again."
"Yeah you too." I say trying to sound happy and keep my eyes away from Cato.
"I take it you know my little brother Cato." he said clapping his little brother on the shoulder.
"Vaguely." Cato responds for me and I roll my eyes.
"Do I sense tension between you two?" Citch asked looking back and forth from Cato to me repeatedly until one of us speaks.
"Nope, like he said we vaguely know each other." I said to him keeping a straight look on my face as I glance from Cato to his older brother. Cato crosses his arms and gives me an annoyed look. What the hell got stuck up his ass? I thought to myself.
"Are you sure?" Citch asked curiously.
"Positive, come on Luna." I say giving her a look that begs for an escape.
"Oh yeah," she says understanding. "There was something I wanted to show you." she says and as we move to walk around the two blonde brothers the older one stopped us once again.
"Wait," he said and we turned to look at him one last time. "I was wondering if you ever gave that little song a name? Selima hums it to Sessa all the time and she loves it." he said proudly.
"No sorry, but we have to go. Bye!" Luna said quickly and rushed me away.
~Cato~
I stood there by my brother's side, listening as he talked to the two girls. When they finally rushed away he turned on me.
"What was that about?" he said to me with a curious glare.
"What was what about?" I asked back trying to avoid the question.
"Don't give me that Cato. People talk. Peacekeepers talk. They told me that they saw you getting close to Spitfire on the dance floor. Now when you see her you act like she hardly exists? Come on brother fess up." he demanded, raising his voice at me. After last night I gave my self a mental check. Training is no place to have feelings or relationships, so there is no way I am going to get close to her. And the only way to do that is to just forget about her and forget about trying to figure her out.
"It's nothing. It was a one time thing and won't happen again." I said and I continued walking.
"And why not?" He continued to question as he caught up with me.
"Because I'm in no place to have a relationship or even feelings!" I rounded on him. "I'm supposed to be a Career training for the Hunger Games, to win them, and I can't do that if I make nice with some girl the I hardly know or want to know. I need to forget about her and focus on my training and I can't do that and be friends or anything more than her at the same time!" I shouted at him, earning the gaze of people surrounding us. I glared at them and they went about their business, but I could still feel some eyes on me.
"So don't go into the Games!" he shouted and I gave him the "what the hell are you talking about" look so he continued. "I didn't go into the Hunger Games and look where it got me! I'm working with Dad at the Masonry, I have a wife and child, and I'm happy. You've seen what being in the Games does to people! Look at Haymitch from Twelve! He drinks all the time, or any of the past Victors from District One or Two, they let the deaths of many haunt them for the rest of their lives! Is that the life you want? Or would you rather have a life with a family that you care about and that cares for you in return?" he said and I stared at him with a hard glare.
"This is what I want. I want to train, so I will and I won't let some girl from who the hell knows where get in the way of it. I'm done trying to figure her out. She means nothing to me and she never will." I declared to him and he gave me a look of defeat.
"Well if you ever go into the Games and you win, don't expect me to be there when you're depressed from taking the lives of children who would rather have a life and a family than die at your heartless hands. You think that being in the Games will bring honor to your family? There is a reason mom didn't want us to train." he said starting to move away, but my next words stopped him.
"How can you say that? You're my brother." I said to him in anger and disbelief at his words but he just looked at me and shook his head.
"This," he gestured to me and my body with his hands. "This isn't how I want my brother to turn out, this isn't who my brother should be, and this certainly isn't the brother I want." he said finally before shaking his head one last time, moving his hands in a "forget you" fashion, and walking away. As I watched him leave I still felt eyes on me and when I rounded to the direction I felt them coming from, my eyes met Spitfire's.
Those eyes, they are filled with anger, sadness, regret, shame, and hate. I will never forget the look she is giving me right now. Like she wants nothing to do with me. She must have heard everything I said to Citch. Part of it was true, that the place that I'm in is not one for emotions and relationships. But the other part of it, where I'm done trying to figure her out and that she means nothing to me, I don't know if it was a lie or not. I involuntarily took a step in her direction but she stepped back and shook her head. She turned and said something to Luna, who seemed at a loss for words, and ran away in the direction of the Academy. Luna shouted after her but when Spitfire kept running, she gave me a hard glare that said she wanted to kick my ass. She looks back in the direction that her friend and roommate had gone and hastily followed with a worried look on her face. Before she rounded a corner that would put her out of my sight, she sent me one last glare, that if looks could kill, I would have a bullet between my eyes right now.
I growl out loud and quite loudly before I stalk in the direction of my house. When I got home I slammed the front door which made my mother and sister-in-law, who both sat in the living room have tea, jump.
"Cato, no need to slam doors honey, what is wrong?" my mother asked me worriedly. I walked into the living room and collapsed into the armchair across from them.
"What makes you think anything is wrong?" I retorted.
"In the time that I've known you Cato, even I can tell that something is wrong." Selima said. "Does this have anything to do with what Citch was grumbling about?" she asked and I sent a slight glare her way.
"Why don't you go ask him?" I challenge, earning a glare from mom. "He's you're husband, I'm sure he can tell you." I said.
"Because I know that when he's as angry as he is, that he needs his space." she says to me, setting her tea on the coffee table.
"And here I thought being married was about being there for the other." I say with a lazy tone in my voice, easily avoiding the conversation that I know my mother wants to have.
"That's part of it but the other part is knowing when the other needs their space, like now for example." she said with a knowing look.
"And stop avoiding things Cato. Explain." my mother demanded in her maternal tone.
"There's this girl at the Academy that I've been trying to get to know." I started.
"I'm going to guess Spitfire?" Mom asks and I look at her confused.
"How did you know?" I asked in return.
"Your brother told me." she said and I nodded.
"Anyway, I've been trying to figure her out and I guess in the process I might have developed some sort of feelings for her. I wasn't sure what they meant, like if they were good or bad. And we danced at the Feast last night and that's when I realized what they meant and I gave myself a mental check. That training is no place to have a relationship or feelings at all. That I was only there to train and I wasn't going to let a girl get in the way of that. When I tried explaining that to Citch he got upset. Saying that I could go and win the Games and live with the grief of twenty three deaths on my shoulders or have a family and find love like he did. I told him that Spitfire meant nothing to me and that I was done trying to figure her out. He said that I wasn't turning into the type of brother that he would want and walked away." I continued, pausing to catch my breath.
"Well I kind of agree with him." my Mom says.
"So you're taking his side?" I accuse.
"Not completely honey. But he does have a point. Look at him or look at your father. Neither of them went into the Hunger Games and look at what they have. They have jobs and a family who loves them. They aren't Victors who keep themselves locked up in their homes all of their lives, having nightmares about the arenas. Haven't you ever heard the story of you Great Grandfather Cato?" she asked me and I shook my head egging her on to continue. "It's who you were named after. He won the 8th Hunger Games when he was sixteen years old. He couldn't live with the deaths in the arena, so he drank himself to death and died of the alcohol poisoning." she said.
"Well I'm not him and anyway, after he left I saw Spitfire, she had heard everything I said, I doubt that she would even talk to me now." I said running my hands through my hair. I heard a scoff and saw that it came from Selima. "What?" I said to her.
"Well you said that you were done trying to figure her out. And that you basically want nothing to do with her anymore. After hearing what you said she probably won't want to talk to you now. You got what you asked for. Why are you upset about it?" she asked rhetorically. She got up and left the room when we heard a crying Sessa upstairs and she was right. Why am I upset about it?
"Honey? Are you okay?" my mother asked me. I looked at her and she had a sympathetic look on her face.
"I really don't know." I reply back to her, looking at the reflections of the lights in the coffee table.
"When you look at Spitfire, what do you think of?" she asked me.
"Fire." I say the first word that comes to my mind. "I think of fire, it's in her eyes, in her attitude. I've never seen anything like her. I can flirt with any girl at the TR and they'll fall into a puddle of goo at my feet but her? She won't fall for it. She doesn't trust me at all and that's never happened to me before. She isn't afraid to defend herself. Her silver eyes could pierce your soul and I'm not gonna lie, she is pretty but not too pretty." I say to her, but not looking up at her though. "And there is something that she can do. Otherwise Brutus wouldn't take her as a Trainee. But she won't tell anybody what it is, or where she's from, or even what her real name is. She fascinates me mom." I say finally looking up at her.
"Does she feel the same about you?" she asks and I immediately think of the conversation I heard at the Feast last night.
"I heard her talking to her friend last night about me. Her friends thinks that I like her and Spitfire doesn't believe it. Luna, her friend, kept going on that if I win the Games that I could marry her, or have an arranged marriage if I don't go in the games. She said to imagine it if Spitfire and I get married and have kids." I said and I have to admit that I have thought about it. And I also have to admit that I liked the image I saw.
"And what did Spitfire say?" she asked me, bringing m out of my musing.
"She said that she didn't ever want to get married. Or have kids, because she wouldn't let the chance of them going into the Hunger Games ever happen. Or put them through the pain of having to kill other kids and have that on their shoulders for the rest of their lives." I explained to her.
"Great minds think alike I guess." she says and I looked at her questioningly. "That's why I didn't want you or Citch to train for the Games." I nodded to her understandingly.
"Did you know that she made friends with Clove?" I asked my mother and she looked at me surprised. "Yeah Brutus and Enobaria made them go shopping together to get dresses for the Feast. And Spitfire got Clove to open up about why she is teased all the time in training. Clove said that she was only training to prove herself and to protect her family and Proti. Clove said that that's why Spitfire is training, for her family."
"Hm, she has family values. Now I want to meet this girl." she said with a a small smile gracing her face.
"I don't think that going to happen now. She probably hates me by now." I said to her, remorse lightly etched in my voice. She gave me an "I know something you don't" look and smiled at me.
"I have my ways. Now go talk to your brother and calm him down. I can't stand to see you two mad at each other." she says before getting up and walking into the kitchen, I'm guessing to make dinner.
~Katniss~
Every word. I heard every word that he said. How I meant nothing to him, that he was done trying to figure me out. That all he wanted to do was train. Part of me isn't surprised by this. But the other part, the part that may be small but still has a strong hold on you, still lets the words hurt me. As his brother walks away from him, he catches my gaze and takes a step in my direction, but I step back of my own accord. I turn to Luna, who stood beside me in shock, and looked at her.
"Still think that he likes me?" I say before walking away from her which turns into a run. She calls after me but I don't stop, I just keep running until I get to the Academy, then to not raise any suspicion, I try to walk as calmly as I can to the room. Eventually when Luna shows up, I'm laying on my bed, curled into a ball and clutching my pillow, willing myself not to cry. She tried to comfort me with soothing words but when they don't work, she starts humming the tune we both came up with and it soon calms me down and I fall asleep.