I love the monologue at the end! I don't know why… I've actually been working on this chapter instead of my S&E project, but I finished it before this. I hate it. My girlfriend isn't talking much and I'm really worried.

Please note that there are some parts that I think I got a bit deep in, and there is mentions of a suicide attempt.

After slaughtering another part of the asshole mafia, it was late. I couldn't ask anyone to move house at eleven past one in the morning, now could I? It just seemed completely unreasonable.

I decided that my best option was to stay at Wammy's for the night. I mean, it was only going to be a few hours. So, as I sat on the roof I checked my messages. EJ was thinking of proposing, Evelyn was leaving the country, Bowen was doing fine, Avery was ripping his hair out, and Jeff was inviting me to a party.

To EJ: Go for it, but be quick, she's leaving England.
To Evelyn: Well, keep in contact, I'll kill you otherwise.
To Beyond: That's good, Ana's fine, she actually met Bella today, and they're getting along well.
To Avery: Keep calm and punch my brother, it usually helps.
To Jeff: No thanks, I'm taking care of my nieces at the moment, and I don't think a thirteen year old is capable of taking care of a three and a nine year old, sorry.

I wasn't planning on sleeping, or eating really. I felt bad, seeing the horrible person that I'd become. I kill people, not only for my job, but for fun, I cut, I starve myself, and all I seem to do is hurt the others around me.

"I saw your neck earlier, you know?" Matt said from behind. "There are a lot more bruises than there were when you left, and I know they aren't from other people."

I nodded.

"Most of them are from your own hands and the other one is from a… a…"

"You can say it Mail! It's from a fucking rope!" I snapped, turning around with tears in my eyes.

Matt sat next to me, making me lean on his shoulder again. "I know what it's like. You know Mello's my everything, and when he first joined your mafia, I was worried out of my mind. He didn't come back for days, and I was getting stressed. After a few more days, I snapped; he hadn't contacted anyone and I assumed the worst.

"I found some rope in your room and I just… You always said, no Mello, no Matt. I guess you were right, even though I never took you seriously. I felt so empty, so 'not Matt' that I was about to… yeah…

"Mells got back just in time to see me put it around my neck…"

I couldn't really control myself. I hugged him really tight. Matt was my best friend, he's known me for so long that I would be lost without knowing him. He stopped me the first time he saw me try, he took my blades away and I didn't stop him. I guess I had a crush on him for a while, but he's really just my best friend.

"If I knew all that I would have ordered him to be sent back the second he finished, made him go through the initiation thing some other time."

I was sobbing, we both knew, but he let me. He never told me to stop crying, he never told me anything other than that the tears showed up a lot on my pale skin and he didn't like it.

"Its fine, Blakie, really. I didn't even know that I needed him that much, it was a complete shock to me, and him as well. It wasn't something that could be predicted or anything, it happened, we moved past it. But you… why you?"

I sighed. "When someone is hunting you down, wanting to kill you. Pressure begins to build; you start over thinking things far too much and then… you're down. The people around me was so minuscule that I could only talk to Viola; seriously, if you start talking to a cat, people think you're weird."

Matt laughed at the cat comment and pulled me closer. "We stay together from now on. We're a family. We may have lost three of our own, but we're still here, we're still surviving, and that's what they would have wanted."

I nodded, dozing off.

"Go on, Blake. You need some sleep."

When I woke up I saw that Matt had taken me to his room, leaving a note.

It had started to rain, so I wasn't leaving you up there. We're in Roger's office, discussing our moving out, though Mello's gone ahead and will meet us later when we pick him up from Amy's. Come on down if you want to.

-Mattie.

I smiled and nodded to myself, pulling my hoodie back on, which Matt must have taken off me. Hood up, head down and hoping that no one would notice me, I walked down to the office of the bane of my existence.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T LEAVE?!" I heard S scream from the opposite end of the hallway. I ran towards the door of the (second) most irritating man alive.

"Exactly what I said, Secret. Unless I see or meet this person you all plan on moving in with… and who is she?" I heard the idiot ask, obviously referring to Ana.

I decided that was my cue to walk in. "Hey old man, horrible to see ya again," I said cheerily as I threw the doors open.

His eyes went comically wide upon seeing me entre the room and picking up Anastasia to rest her on my hip. "Believe… what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was back in England, robbed a bank whist staying with some friends', and deicide to buy a house. Then Evelyn, S's cousin and Matt's future cousin-in-law, told me these guys needed a place to stay so I was like, 'Hey, why not pay the guys a visit. Ana and I don't take up that much space.' So now I'm here, isn't it just lovely?!" I explained, amused.

"…I'm going to be related to a cannibal?" Matt asked.

"Not genetically, no. But hey, you've been living with one for a while now, so… yeah."

"Oh yeah… that was one messed up day," Matt laughed.

"I almost felt sorry for Natalie at one point… almost," Beacon added.

I rolled my eyes, "You were hyper, half-asleep, and covered in tinsel, you were not stable."

"And you were?" S asked.

"Sushles," I pouted. "So, asshat, I mean Roger, can these fabulous people move in with me. Please note that we are only asking you so that we can try and do one thing here that follows the rules… slightly, anyway."

Roger's eyes seemingly lit up. "You are actually taking them?" he asked. I nodded. "Yes! Take them! I've been waiting for this day since you created that chocolate monster –"

"Grinny."

"– all those years ago. Go! Pack! Leave!"

The five of us were shooed out of the office and I think I could hear Roger singing.

"Well… That was unexpected," Matt stated.

We girls nodded, agreeing one hundred percent with that.

"Is sis going to live with us?" Ana asked.

I nodded. "Yes she is, Ana. So is Aunty S, Uncle Matt, and Uncle Mello. Oh, by the way, we can only live here until the coast is clear, after that, we're moving back to America. The mafia needs me now that L's dead and Near's still an asshat."

When they (Matt) finally finished packing and we got back to our new house, S asked, "What are the girls and Matt going to do while us four are doing mafia work?"

I had this answer already seeing as I had thought about it the previous night. "Matt's already got a recommendation for a new hacker, and there are operatives training from the age of two years. Beacon and Anastasia would probably start training."

"A Life God in a mafia? Her fathers would be disappointed," S laughed.

"I know, but I'm raising her, it's my job to make sure she can survive in this world… even by mafia means."

S nodded, understanding that I had to. It wasn't exactly a choice I could make. Work is work.

We were just about to go into our separate rooms when I heard her whisper, "Matt told me, you know?"

I gulped. I knew I was in no state to raise or take care of anyone, including myself. I closed my door and sunk down against it, staring out the window.

I murdered Michael, I was there when Gerard uttered his final word, I missed Luna's death, I knew L was going to die, I am leading Mello into the flames of Hell, I will be the reason Matt dies…

I will kill Kira… if Betrayal doesn't get me first…