Disclaimer:

I own no part of the 'Twilight Universe'. This is strictly for fun.

Author's note:

Okay, I owe you all a huge apoloy for not updating sooner. It's the same as with every writer every now and then. Real life caught up with me and I had to concentrate hard on my exams. Now only one is left. (august 12, perhaps someone thinks of me then ;-) ) And I finally found some time to write. It is snot much, as it tokk me some time to get into writing again and it is not as high quality, as you have gotten used to over the past few chapters. The reason is I just updated it. It has not yet been with my betas. Forgive me any mistakes you may : Have fun reading!

Recap:

"All the while I contemplated, what we could do. I could help with her hair, and perhaps she would let me apply some make up. She would not need much: A bit Mascara, a peachy rosé as eye- shadow. She could forgo rouge, that was obvious..."

Chapter 22 (Heidi Pov)

Finally, about twenty minutes later, Bella emerged from the bathroom; dressed in the pantsuit I had laid out for her.

The first thing I noticed was the exhausted state she was in. Gone was the cheerful girl from before, instead she was the weak, depressed, fragile woman again.

What upset her so, or is it purely physical exhaustion? Shouldn't the warm bath have relaxed her further?

"Bella? Are you alright? You're looking a bit out of it..." The concern was evident in my voice. She was after all my responsibility for the time being. Marcus made that clear.

As if on cue , the steady noise of a quill scratching over parchment ceased next door and I could hear a chair being pushed back, followed by Marcus' soft footsteps coming closer to the door.

"Yeah. No worries, Heidi. I'm fine, just a bit groggy. Never thought taking a bath could wear one out like that." While answering me, she never met my eyes after an initial reflexive moment of contact and additionally her heart rate picked up a little. She wasn't telling the truth, so I persisted.

"Really? I think you are looking a bit paler, too. Are you really fine?" I now held her gaze and after a few seconds her defence began to falter. Shortly after that she hung her head in defeat, let out a deep, resigned sigh and walked to the chair beside the bed.

In a small voice she finally admitted: "Okay, I feel a little dizzy and when I got out of the tub I got light headed for a moment. It really isn't a big deal. I'll just take it slow and you'll see I'll be fine in no time at all."

"Ask whether she hurts at all, Offer her to call a doctor in to let him have a look at her. Perhaps she would like something to drink or eat?" Marcus' words were rushed, far too fast and low for any human to hear.

"Bella, are you still in pain?" She shook her head and opened her mouth to interrupt, but I just kept talking, ignoring her attempt.

"You know, I was thinking, isn't it usual for people, who underwent surgery, to be monitored by a physician after their release from the hospital? Someone who monitors their recovery? Perhaps we should call one in to look at you and make sure you are well on your way to good health?" I spoke nonchalantly, observing her all the while to see her reaction.

She paled even further and her heart-rate sky- rocketed, before she objected.

"No. No, Heidi, that's really not necessary. Nothing hurts. The pills I took before are working just fine. And trust me, I am doing very well!" her voice gained volume as she spoke her desperation for me to believe her overthrowing any composure she had held onto.

It was her misfortune that I liked the idea of a professional checking her health too appealing. I meant no discredit to Aro and his knowledge he undoubtedly held on all things health related and medical stuff, but in my eyes theoretical knowledge is one thing and hands on experience another completely...

Looking at her, seeing her so anxious, I decided not to push this matter further, at least not now. In her emotional state she could not possibly consider the offer rationally.

Subsequently I settled my focus on the alternative: fluids and food. First I would give her some time to calm down again, and approach that subject a bit later.

"Okay, okay, Bella. I'll believe you." I held my hands up as if in surrender and her tense posture relaxed visibly.

"Shall we take care of your hair now? I'd love to help you getting it dry and shiny.."

"What are you doing, Heidi! You can't let the topic of her health slide like that! I think she really needs to see a doctor." Marcus' voice grew in volume, ringing through the door, yet it was still too low for Bella to hear.

"That is it. I will come in. You can not possibly expect me to -" As he spoke I heard him grab the door-handle, a little too tight, as it made scrunching noises in protest to the abuse.

"Master, please, I won't let it slide, I promise, I'll just let her calm down a bit and give it another try later, but more inconspicuously. I promise I'm taking good care of her."

Luckily Bella was looking at the bed right now, not realizing the exchange that just took place.

"Hmph. You better... I'll be listening." Came his gruff answer as I heard him retreat and sit down in the chair, but the scratching of the quill didn't take up again.

'Sure you'll be listening...' Mentally I rolled my eyes.

"Huh?" Came Bella's disbelieving answer, while delicately rising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I would like to help you dry your hair. You know, brush it, and perhaps add a bit conditioner. By the way, why didn't you use anything apart from shampoo and soap? Didn't you like the things we got you? We could get you something else."

By now I was standing right next to her. She didn't flinch as I took a strand of her hair and twirled it. The ends were split and it looked and felt dry. She had not been taking care of herself for some time now, that was obvious. And by what we had overheard I would say ever since this coven had left her behind. But who could blame her? She surely had more important and pressing matters to worry about, what with that psycho bitch being after her.

Here I would make sure to take care of her. Here she would not need to worry about all that. She could concentrate on herself.

I was curious to hear her answer. The wives had gotten her the very best of everything. Normally a woman should be squealing at the sight of all these things. Well, at least that is what we had gathered from movies about American teenagers, that we had seen. Human girls liked to do that: manicures, pedicures, massages and such, didn't they? Bella was different, obviously. She had not touched any of the make up items either.

"Oh, I just didn't feel like it?" Again her reply came out sounding like a question. She looked at me speculatingly. It seemed she tried to figure out what the other person wanted to hear.

"Okay, but we can do your hair, right?" That was one safe topic that I intended to talk about with her: Her looks and style; she was the mate of Marcus after all, even though she did not know that yet. Later on if everything went smotthly, she would have to represent us all.

"You don't have to bother. It'll dry in the air. You don't need to babysit me. I'm sure there are things you'd rather do than that." her hand combed through her hair and she shrugged.

"Nah, as I told you before, you are good company and I'd truly like to help you. You know, I never do that. There is no one here who would let me. And I'll promise to be very careful. It won't hurt a bit!"

To finally convince her I put on my best pout and puppy eyes, all the while looking at her expectantly.

After a few seconds she nodded her head, reluctantly agreeing, took a deep breath, held it a bit and let it out slowly.

"Yes, thank you! You won't regret it!" In an unusual rush of excitement I hugged her, surprising her as much as myself with that action. I let go of her and took a few steps back; ringing for control with my inner beast. That close, her scent was maddening, tantalizing, her wet hair somehow even enhanced the delectable scent. I had not been tempted like that in a long time and I was the one interacting with humans the most. Bella sat still, not moving an inch, as if she was frozen. How peculiar; she did not react like other people would have. She should be screaming and running, after all she had just been embraced by a predator, my teeth had only been mere centimetres from her throat; yet she sat there stoically looking at me. Calm.

"You better?" She asked after a long moment.

First I could only nod in reply, before I finally found my voice. "Yes, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

In that moment the door opened and Marcus stood there, looking between me an Bella in alarm.

"Everything alright in here? Are you in need of anything, Bella?" He sounded calm but I understood the underlying question, that his eyes threw at me. "Are you in control?" He seemed to ask me.

His pose was tensed, ready to act to defend his mate, to destroy me.

"Yes, Marcus, everything is fine. I just finished the bath and I feel much better. Heidi offered to help me with my hair. I'm sorry if we disturbed you in any way." Bella seemed embarrassed and looked away from him after a moment. Marcus and I were shocked. She had reacted incredibly fast and came up with a cover quickly. She did not even blush.

'hm, a lie and yet no blush, no elevated heart-rate. Strange.' I would analyze this later. 'How could she tell not the truth and not blush?'

"Fine. If you need anything, Bella, I will be next door. Just call. Heidi." He nodded at me, his eyes narrowed in warning and left the room.

"So, where shall we do this?" Bella caught me off guard when she directed this question at me. The change of topic so abrupt, I could only tell her to stay in her seat while I went to the bathroom to get a brush and the spray conditioner. The mess on the floor I left for later.

"Sorry and thanks, for... you know. And I think I'll just place the chair and you closer to the fire, so that you won't get cold." She was going to get up, so I quickly grabbed the chair with her still sitting in it and put it down in front of the fire place. A little sound of surprise, that morphed into a small giggle, escaped her, making me smile a bit.

"Why thank me? You controlled yourself. I had nothing to do with that. If at all I should be the one apologizing, as I tempted you." She gazed at me, the apology clear in her eyes and her mood became sombre. Silence fell and we both were lost in thought as I began absent mindedly combing through her hair. Robotically I massaged the conditioner in, the motions seeming to soothe me as much as her.

A long time later, her hair was almost completely dry, she broke the silence.

"Is it very hard? I mean for you to be so close to me. I always thought I understood to a degree what I do to you, all of your kind; what you feel, but I'm beginning to think I completely underestimated the issue. Would you explain, what it does to you?" Her voice was soft and calm as she gazed, unmoving, into the dying flames.

"Hm. It is hard to describe, but I will try. You see, I remember having a sore throat, when I was human. In a way it is like that all the time, just so much worse; a burning feeling in the back of your throat and nothing you do will ever calm it. Yet in a way, you can push it to the back of your mind, you can suppress it, like a bad memory.

My hands never ceased in their routine, while I spoke and she only sat there, listening intently.

"It gets worse though, when you are around humans. The scent coming of their skin makes the burn explode, like a hot meal would burn a raw throat. It feels constricted, dry. At the same time the venom begins to flow freely, like you salivate, when you are hungry and smell your favourite meal. When you have to swallow the venom, it again intensifies the fire instead of soothing the pain.

One tactic to lessen the burn is to stop breathing; cutting off the scent helps.

Another factor is the sound of the beating heart, it is enticing. I can't really think of an analogy here and I haven't ever thought of one; never thought I would have a conversation like that..." I chuckled at the absurdity of the situation.

'How surreal.'

A few moments passed, before I came up with a comparison. So I picked the conversation up again.

"Perhaps it's like hearing the skillets and pots being handled in a kitchen. To us,a thumping heart is like the promise of relief; of the blood, that will follow and cool down the flames. That will never truly burn out because no matter how much we drink, it will never completely go away. Perhaps we are cursed and bits of hell's fire are burning in our throats"

My hands stilled so did she and we were both watching the small licking flames in silence, the rhythmic pattern of her heart and breathing strangely soothing, until Bella's words broke it.

"So, when it is so bad, why am I still alive? I mean..." Bella trailed off, gesticulating at herself.

"We don't want to. It is as simple as that. I am not saying that anyone can control him or herself, especially newborns tend to have low to zero control, but it is possible. You have to work on it, always, non stop. And, speaking for myself, I don't like to not be in control. I want to be in charge of myself."

Slowly she nodded her understanding. "So, in a way, when you get older, you gain back some human traits, if you want to; you can rediscover your human self? Is that what you mean?" Her look was serious, contemplating, she wanted to understand this.

"I've never seen it like that. That by controlling our instincts we unearth our human habits, but now that you mention it, it could be. It sounds plausible. I never gave that topic much thought. To me it was all about self-control."

'Her mind must work completely different, but she is not stupid.'

"So then, one could say, that the change is like pushing the fast-forward button on evolution and one just needs to get used to all the new things before standing on a higher scale?" Her voice is speculating, the wheels still ticking away at high speed.

"Slow down, there is nothing like 'fast-forward' and 'just getting used to all', Bella. It takes hundreds of years and there is nothing easy about it. Not to mention that there are quite a few people out there, who don't even think about restraining themselves."

Her idea might be worth consideration, but that just went to far.

Bella looked down, thoroughly abashed, and blushed a little.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to downplay the whole topic like that."

"It's okay. You just got a little enthusiastic, I guess. You might like to discuss that topic with Aro though, I bet he would be enthralled by your ideas. Now, what shall we do? Would you like something to drink or eat?"

"Oh, well, perhaps something to drink. Water will do just fine." Her voice was soft and pleasant, but had a remorseful undertone.

'It would be a smart move to get one of these fridge things up here.' I didn't think she would ever dare ask to get something to drink even if she was parching.

"Okay. I'll get you something. You just stay here and I'll be back in no time." With that I was out the door and on my way. Marcus gave me a strange look, but didn't say anything. When I was in the kitchen, I got a pitcher with water and some cookies.

'A little extra sugar will do her good.'

"Heidi, please would you come to an end then with your time with Bella? You were discussing rather heavy topics. I understand it was her bringing them up, but I think you are walking a thin line to remind her of unpleasant things, I simply don't wish for her to get upset." With this, Marcus stopped me before I entered the chamber. Just when I prepared to argue, as I simply wanted to talk to her some more, he lifted his hand, indicating me to shut up and listen. "I see that you are very taken with her and enjoy this. Believe me, she likes you rather well, too." He looked like a scolding father and I didn't like it one bit. You always felt small in front of the ancients, when they were like this; no good feeling.

"Really?" I perked up at his last words. That was promising; Bella could be my friend. A real, female best friend. The kind of friend I had never had here, but had always been pining for. Ah, I would make sure she became my friend. I would help her become much better and then we could do things together. Go out, just for fun, go shopping, cruising, long senseless talks and so much more!

With that I zoned out, a warm tingly feeling creeping into me.

"Heidi?" My masters impatient voice snapped me back into reality. When I focused, he had a little knowing smile playing around his lips. A sight I had witnessed more often in the past few days then in all the years I had been here.

"Why don't you bring Bella the food, now?" He encouraged.

In a flash I was at the door and before Bella, who had fallen asleep in the chair. Noiselessly I put the tablet down.

'What do I do now? It does not look comfortable, the way she sits, but when I move her, I might wake her, and she surely needs all the sleep she can get.'

While I stood there musing, Marcus entered and came to stand next to me. He was looking down on her sleeping form, this time, a full, wide, adoring smile splitting his face.

"We should take her to bed. She will be more comfortable there. I will carry her. Please handle the blanket, Heidi." With that he ever so lightly picked her up, ever so careful not to jostle her; to wake her up.

When he placed her in bed, she opened her eyes groggily and mumbled something intelligible. Marcus' smile grew even wider and he whispered to her to sleep, to not worry and that she would be safe.

"You can leave now, Heidi. But please, take care of the mess in the bathroom first. But silently. I don't want to wake her up." He did not look up from her but stayed at her side, drinking in the sight of her like a parching man would a glass of water, like it could never be enough.

And what he said was true, I knew in that moment. He would never allow anyone or anything to hurt her. She was his world now, his reason for life. He would under no circumstances lose her; He would never leave her side. But this fact also held a risk. He could easily smother her with all his love and protection.

Silently I left for the bathroom, closing the door behind me, thinking how I could help, so that things would work out.

End note:

Thats it for today, but I hope to be able to update more often again from now on. Thanks for reading; hope you liked it.