Disclaimer:
I own no part of the 'Twilight Universe'. Only the idea to this story. This is strictly for fun.
Author's note: Unbetaed Chapter!
Thanks as always go to those who read and listed my story, and especially to those who reviewed. It means a lot to me, when you take that time and tell me your thoughts.
If someone has a question, or something is unclear, you can pm me, too.
Also, a huge hug to Madietta, she works wonders.
Have fun!
Recap:
"Apart from that, I sparkle, too. A little. I have never scrutinized it like that. I always ignored it as best as I could. It is colder, too.
Slowly Marcus' hand came into my line of vision. He was reaching for my hand, his own glowing mysteriously, again. When he was just an inch away, he met my eyes, and asked for permission to see my hand.
Chapter 25 (Bella pov):
"Sure, go ahead."
Carefully, he took my hand in his, looking it over very closely, although his eyes probably didn't need this proximity for perfect vision. He gently curled and uncurled my fingers, prodded the other bones lightly, as well as my wrist. There was no electricity, no shock, instead it felt pleasant. His skin felt so different.
Marcus was utterly and completely engrossed with my hand, as he did so. He seemed to memorize every single inch of skin on my hand. When he was done with the back, he turned it around and studied the palm. As he did so, he traced the thin scar, that James' teeth had left, taking longer there. His eyes darkened considerably. Then he went on to examine the rest.
"What happened here?" he asked, while tracing a thin white line, where my fingers began.
"I cut myself with a knife, when I was still a child. It was a kitchen accident."
Automatically my own hand reached to touch it, my mind taking me back to that day in our kitchen in Phoenix, when I had tried to get the skin off of an orange.
"I don't remember it that well, because I fainted due to all the blood. I woke up in a hospital bed."
Marcus looked deep in thought and his voice was heavy, when he next said: "You sound as if it didn't really matter, didn't leave a noteworthy memory. How so? Were you not scared? It must have hurt?"
"Well," I murmured, "at the time it did. But now, looking back, it seams insignificant. I honestly lost count of how often I had scraped my knees or hands, how often I fell and bruised, stumbled and twisted my ankle. It's the major accidents that I remember now. The others kind of drift into the background."
"But it must have been a bad cut if you fainted and had to be taken to the hospital, because of blood loss. How much worse can it get?" His expression was troubled, but his eyes were still glued to my skin, where he had now begun to trace the small, blueish veins along the inside of my wrist and forearm. It tickled.
"No, no. You got it wrong. I didn't faint because of the blood loss. I faint at the scent of blood."
At this his eyes snapped up to meet mine, one eyebrow cocked in question, silently asking for an explanation.
"It's so, it's hard to describe... It reminds me of pennies in salty water; salt and rust, but there is something else, bitter sweet. It really makes me nauseous. Well, back then it was enough. Now I have gotten used to it a little. It still makes me queasy and all, but usually I don't faint anymore. I still don't like it though."
"I don't think humans are supposed to smell blood, are they?" His ruby orbs seemed to stare at nothing, when he silently continued. "I really ought to know more about those things, especially as I now enjoy the presence of one as a guest and as I once was one myself."
After a short moment he smiled charmingly and just as quick as my mood had begun to darken with my thoughts about my past in Phoenix, it lightened again. It was so easy to talk with him.
"Would you mind terribly, if I asked to see your other hand? If it makes you feel uncomfortable, please tell me so. I do not intent to bring you into a compromising situation."
Always so formal, so old fashioned. I gave him a mental eye- roll and a silent giggle escaped my lips. He smiled wider, but let it be, though his curiosity was clear in his eyes.
Holding my hand is very compromising, sure. Then again, who knows how old he is. He has probably been taught to behave like this. And how old has he been, when he got changed? Can one even ask that? It's rather personal. Perhaps later...
My musings had brought back the original plan, to ask him my questions, and with that my head was filled with things I wanted to know.
The easy ones first, Bella, and cut straight to the case. I reminded myself.
"Of course. I don't mind, although I don't get what's so interesting about my skin. However, it does not really matter, Marcus. Enough of me. I really wanted to know about you. We were talking about my observations, and you were about to elaborate on the specifics." With this I smiled sweetly at him.
With a sudden movement he turned his head back up to see me, and a wide mischievous smile lit up his face.
"You can't blame a man for trying. You are just so interesting, and I had to take advantage of you being so easily distracted." His whole expression turned jubilant, like he had achieved something great.
For a moment, I was speechless, then my sarcastic side, that I had thought long lost, reared its nasty head and shot back: "Oh yes, well done." I clapped my hands a few times in mock applause. "You, a scary, dangerous vampire, won a none existing concentration- contest against the meek human. You did truly well, Marcus. You should be so proud of yourself!" Marcus was at least as surprised by my come back, as I was, and we stared at each other, wide- eyed. The only difference: My face was hot and my hand had automatically clapped over my mouth, in a vain attempt to keep it in, to take it back.
"Sorry!" I squeaked. From outside the entrance door laughter could be heard, and I blushed deeper. I was mortified.
A moment later, Marcus began to smile, but he pressed his lips together, fighting for composure.
This situation was impossible! Finally, he couldn't keep it in any longer and Marcus burst into laughter, as well. After that, I too began to laugh. It felt good, right and natural.
His laughter was infectious, yet so melodic. I couldn't help it.
A little while later we calmed down. My sides were in stitches and the scars, that crossed my belly, or rather the tissue beneath them, hurt. Laughing was definitely unusual exercise for my belly muscles. I would feel those tomorrow, I just knew.
"Sorry, Marcus. I don't know where that came from; it just plopped out. I think I lost my brain filter, when I hurt my head," I mumbled sheepishly, but not very contrite. I felt so light hearted, euphoric even. Blame the endorphins for my next words; I felt high. "But while I am at it: Felix, It's not nice to eavesdrop! I know you can't help it, but at least do it, and leave me the impression of privacy! Will you?" Marcus now not only looked surprised, but outright shocked. Felix chuckled darkly and replied with an amused "I'll try to keep it in mind for the next time, Bella. I promise to try." Marcus' eyes were bright and shiny. He was still looking at me, smiling. I simply shrugged and leaned deeper back into the cushion, and sighed deeply. A smile still played around the corners. With my left hand I reached for a piece of the sandwiches and determinedly took a big bite out of it. I could eat more. I would try.
"Don't apologise, Bella. I was the one to begin the banter, and you were perfectly within your rights to answer me in the way you did. You are a very extraordinary young woman. I guess you will never comprehend your own worth, but let me tell you this, and you don't need to thank me, or say anything in response; You will not understand it, even, just trust me, and perhaps one day I can tell you my reasons behind my recent actions, that most certainly mystify you right now. I am very glad you came here, although I grief the circumstances under which we met. You bring me much joy and happiness. I thank you." While he spoke, he held me captive with his intense, ruby eyes. It felt like he was looking truly at me, the real me. Not the shell.
What does he mean? All he says turns out to throw up more questions, than to give me answers. Okay, store that for later, now we ask simple questions.
I nodded my understanding.
"Okay? Well, then, shall we cut to my questions?"
Don't let him sidetrack you again, Bella!
"Of course, ask away." A smooth flourish of his hand emphasised his words. His attention was focused on me, that was clear, but I was not as uncomfortable as I thought I would be. It was rather encouraging; he would answer my question and took his time to tell me things.
I am probably keeping him from something important. When I got it right, he must be someone important. 'Royalty' , HIS words echoed in my mind.
"Marcus?"
"Yes, Bella?" His voice was soft and calming, and eased the nerves, the remembrance of HIM and HIS words had raised within me. I sighed, and relaxed back into my chair.
"Are you sure I'm not keeping you from important stuff? I mean, I thought... someone told me you were like royalty; that would make you, Aro and Caius kings, and Sulpicia and Athenodora queens, right? Aren't you super busy?" That was harder then I had thought. And now that it was out, it sounded silly.
Marcus reaction surprised me, he didn't show amusement, as I had expected, but serious consideration and a bit sadness. His eyes lit with recognition.
"I would not call my family royalty, Bella. It is more complicated than that. Who ever told you, certainly oversimplified the facts. Let me explain in greater detail to you, why we are what we are, without putting a name to it first.
"As you well know, we are very different from your kind. Our kind has silently coexisted with yours for many, many millennia. Due to that fact, our kind judges situations differently, as we can truly learn from the past. It is not the far, muddy past, but clear as the presence, when we think about it. Many of us lived for centuries, or longer, so we lived history. In general, we agree, that our existence best remains a secret. It has always worked well. Of course, there is the occasional missing person, a sudden mysterious death, but the human species has never been endangered. I know it must sound crude to your ears, Bella, but this is how nature works." He paused, and I smiled a shy smile, and nodded, to show that I didn't take it the wrong way, and was following. I was curious to hear more.
"Every now and then, there is however an odd one amongst us, who thinks we should rule the world, enslave the humans and keep them as pets, like they do animals. The consequences of such an outing would be disastrous, as you can imagine. There would be chaos. Not to mention I view it as a crime against ourselves, as we were human once, too. Luckily there have always been those, who stopped the rebellious ones." At this point of his speech he stopped. I was itching to hear more. He had my undivided attention. After only a few seconds, he continued.
"Almost always successfully. A small outing, hundreds of years ago, happened, but due to drastic actions, the secret could be prevailed, and the culprit was destroyed. Yet as you well know, rumours were started and the legends and myths of vampires were born. We were 'soldiers of the devil', Satan's spawn', amongst other things."
Quoting these terms, the ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. "Your kind has been very creative.
"As you might have guessed, my family and I were amongst those, who fought to protect the secret. Over time, we gathered people, who helped us, who admired our work. That is how the guard came to be. Ever since, other vampires could be sorted into three categories:
those who follow our lead and stand as allies,
those who fear us, but remain neutral, as they agree to secrecy,
and lastly, those who envy our position and try to hurt us in anyway possible."
He looked at me questioningly after coming to this conclusion.
I nodded to show him I understood. After all, situations like this could be found repeatedly throughout history. It was not new. Even Plato and Aristotle had mused about the different forms of government and how they change with the times, spurred by decisions of few great men. I told Marcus as much, in hopes to get him to talk again.
"You know about their philosophical views? And what is your opinion on those? Do you agree?" It would seem I had unintentionally found a topic, that Marcus had great interest in, and I was very tempted to jump on and discuss this further, but I wouldn't let myself get distracted, not again.
"Yes, I have read about those. But, you know, can we talk about that some other time? I would rather hear more of your explanation. I think I know where you are headed, but I would rather hear your point of view." Shyly, I met his gaze and relaxed again, when I saw he took no offence in my direct words.
"Of course, Bella. You had me sidetracked. In short: During this first battle, we lost most of our allies, leaving only our family and some of our guard. We believe this to be the outcome, as we, unlike other vampires, have strong bonds, tying us to each other. We care and look after our brothers and sisters, which, as you might imagine, provides safety in battle, as we cover each other. Ever since then, we held the position we still have. Others of our kind began to refer to us as kings, lords, masters and so on.
I have to admit, that we never tried to suppress such terms of reference. That is how we came to be.
You see, in essence, we don't rule, like you would expect of kings. There are no obligations. We only observe and intervene, when a situation becomes too dangerous. Sometimes we are visited form those, who are our allies, or nomads, who are close, and stop by to pay their respects, or offer their allegiance.
"There could never be a real king in our world, as there is no kingdom. Most of us roam the world. It would be impossible to rule. My family and I, together with the guard, in my eyes, are more like a police force? Aro being the president?" It was obvious Marcus was not happy with his comparison, as he frowned and shook his head.
"I really don't know how to describe it. We are a bit more then police, but nothing like kings. At least I don't see myself as one..." The last part was spoken more quietly. To my ears it rang loud, and seemed important.
"I think I understand what you mean. With your last part, you implied that was only your opinion, so Aro and Caius see themselves as kings?" This was getting more and more interesting. And I realized in this moment, that I was now sitting closer to Marcus, then when this conversation had started. Who had scooted closer, I couldn't tell, but it didn't matter to me either.
Marcus' right eyebrow shot up, and he smiled mischievously. "I have never thought about it, until now, but I think you could be right. I think they would never confess to it though. You are terrificly perceptive. Now that you mentioned it, I can see how it would fit their personalities. Aro has always loved to be the leader of our family, and he surely wouldn't mind to lead more. And Caius is just a little arrogant." The last word was whispered so lowly, that although he breathed it directly into my ear, I almost didn't catch it. When he leaned back, I was shocked because of how close he had been suddenly. He looked at me, smirking, and winked conspiratorially.
It made sense. I could picture Aro and Caius as kings, but with Marcus I had my problems.
My mind stopped on Caius. He scared me, yet he intrigued me, too. There was something about him that didn't match. The emotions he displayed, and his actions, they changed so rapidly, they were so impulsive, so sudden, so unpredictable. There was something wrong with that. He reminded me of a wild animal, that would lash out at the smallest interruption from its routine, its peace.
There was no doubt he was deadly, especially to me. Somehow, in the short time I had been here, he had begun to hate me. Of that I had no doubt. I just didn't know what I did wrong. How I had insulted him? It made me angry. I didn't deserve his wrath. The look he had given me came back to mind and I shivered involuntarily.
"Bella, are you cold?" Marcus brought me out of my internal rambling again.
"What?" At first I couldn't tell what he had asked me, but it came back a second later. "No, I'm not cold; just thinking about something." I looked at him again, attempting to blink away my disturbing thoughts, but they wouldn't leave.
"Marcus? Yes, Bella?" His voice wrapped me in a soft cocoon.
"Why does Caius hate me so much? Was it something I did or said? I don't remember. Why is he so angry? I think I haven't seen him smile once. He is always scowling, always irate. Is it because of me?" I needed some reassurance. I didn't want to disrupt their family peace. I didn't want to be the one to bring harm to yet another set of people who helped me.
Marcus gaze softened further when he answered,"No, Bella, it is nothing you did or said. He has been angry, as you put it, for a long time now. Please don't ask, it is not my place to tell."
"Oh." Was all I could come up with. My head dropped and naturally my imagination went wild with possible reasons for this kind of behaviour; one scenario more ludicrous then the one before.
"Bella, are you scared of him?" He lifted my chin with one hand, so that he could see my reaction, while he brushed a way a strand of loose hair with his other hand. This gesture soothed me.
"Yes", I whispered. It wasn't easy to say, to name your fear, to expose your weakness, for everyone to see. I had made myself vulnerable, but I didn't want to lie to Marcus. He somehow, in this short time, had become my confidant.
"I understand. Don't be ashamed, Bella. It is natural to fear him, after what he did... almost did." I shivered again, this time, Marcus seemed to know it was not due to the cold. Cautiously, he scooted closer yet and put his arm gently around my shoulders. I didn't complain, and when he held me in this loose embrace, I relaxed impossibly more. For the first time in so long I felt sheltered, safe. Involuntarily, I took a deep breath and it came out a little shaky. He squeezed me in reaction.
"What is it, that really disturbs you, Bella? There must be something more. What was it that you concocted in that head of yours, when you just mused about Caius and his behaviour?" He spoke to me in the softest voice I had ever heard, afraid his words, his voice could break me. I reminded myself that I wanted to be stronger, so I told him: "I was afraid I had made him like this, that I was causing all that tension in your family, that I was hurting your peace, although you were so nice to me. That I was..." He interrupted me here. "Shh, Bella. Be assured, it has nothing to do with you. And you are not causing my family harm in any way. Everything is fine. You have it all wrong. You are not the reason for everything that happens around you. You need to stop to take responsibility for everything, to try to take the blame. Some things simply happen, simply are. And you needn't be afraid. You won't have to face Caius too soon. I forbade him form seeing you. And no, don't be sorry for that. He made a mistake and that is his problem." With that he smiled tenderly at me, and held me for a little longer.
"Okay," I said after a little while. I think I had come to terms with this Caius- situation.
This was awkward now, so I wound out of his hold. He picked up on what I tried and hesitatingly let go. To divert from this awkward situation, I asked the first best thing that popped in my head.
"So ever since that one incident so long back you had no problems?" My voice was so fake cheery, that I winced myself, but Marcus, the gentleman that he was, ignored it, and went along with my abrupt change.
"No, there always have been and always will be those who will try to gain their goals. There have been similar incidents. One took place during the middle ages, in France. It was dealt with quickly. Then there was the southern war. A dark topic in our history. It came to pass during the civil war in the USA. That was the reason, why it got so far out of hand, that humans had already begun to notice. The distance caused us to only become aware of the problem, when it was almost too late. Covens in the south battled for territory and in order to gain the upper hand they had begun to create many new vampires to use as soldiers. It is also called the newborn wars. The count of deaths was, what alerted the humans. Luckily, they blamed some mysterious disease. We sent the whole guard up to clean up. Some had to stay for a year, to make sure all those involved were destroyed. Ever since than it has been quiet though. That is, until a few weeks ago, when the headlines of American newspapers had alerted us of sloppy killings in Seattle. We were just about to dispatch a team to intervene, but then it had stopped suddenly. By now, we know of course, who created them, and how they had gotten destroyed." His words once again, had my mind reeling. I knew what he insinuated. It didn't take a genius to guess and that was the problem, because my mind took a strait line to forbidden topics. He was taking about Victoria and her newborns. I did my best to distract myself, to deter my brain. I tried to think about something nice, tried to find interest in objects in the room. It didn't work and I started to panic. I could feel myself slipping. In a desperate bid, I resorted to pinching the skin over my thighs as hard as I could. That was, what did it, what snapped me out of it. "Ouch!" I knew it was stupid to say, as I had hurt myself, but it had hurt none the less. My breathing was irregular, and my fingers were cold and shaky, when I began to rub over the now stinging area. Marcus was kneeling in front of me, his hands resting on my knees.
When did he get there?
Aro stood next to Marcus and had one hand on my shoulder, it seemed he had been ready to take action, to shake me out of it. He looked relieved.
Slowly my anxiety dimmed and my rational side was back in charge. With consciousness came the embarrassment though. I blushed.
"Are you better now, Isabella?" It was Aro who asked me. Marcus was still at my feet, looking at me anxiously.
"Yes. Yes, I think I'm good now." I grimaced, when I testingly put pressure on the stinging area with my index finger.
Aro winced seeing me do this and shook his head, sighing. "That my dear, will leave a bruise, no doubt."
"Probably, but I am glad I did it. Better a bruise then..." I drifted off, Marcus and Aro nodded their agreement.
Before I really could comprehend, what I was about to say, it was out: "Aro, I think I would like to take you up on your offer. What I mean is, would you help me please, as my therapist?"
Surely a needle won't hurt as much as that pinch? It seemed they really wanted me to stay here for a while, otherwise they wouldn't invest all this time, so I might as well spend it usefully. I would get this examination over with, and then I would fight this thing in my head, this little monster.
I nodded determinedly.
"Well, this is certainly a surprise, Bella. I had not thought you would decide so quickly. But I feel honoured you would place this amount of trust in me. I promise to do my very best. You have not forgotten about the condition though? You will have to see a physician first." Aro reminded me sternly. I nodded, now less confident. "Yeah, but I think it's better than pinching myself like that every so often." I looked at my burning thighs with a grimace, and Aro began to chuckle. "Yes, yes indeed." He clapped my shoulder in encouragement, before he continued. "I shall leave you alone then, call, if you need anything. With your permission, I will arrange an appointment at the hospital for you to see a doctor. We will wait for the results and the professional's opinion. Then we can plan from there. Can you agree to this course of action, Bella?" Aro looked at me intently, his hand still resting on my shoulder lightly. I felt comfortable in Aro's company, unlike in Caius'; with him around I felt tense, and alert. But Marcus company was the best by far. With Aro I always felt like I was on trial, watched, like he dissected my every move. It was slightly unnerving, but all in all I knew he meant me no harm. Marcus watched me, too, but it didn't feel so intrusive. I had no idea why.
"Bella?" Aro seemed amused.
"Uh, yes, sure. That's fine. Appointment, result, plan from there. Sounds good."I summarised quickly, more for my sake, to make sure I had it all.
Aro regarded me with a benevolent smile and shook his head, smiling slightly.
"If only I was able to hear you, child. Would you mind if I tried again?" His tone was wistful, coloured with hope yet at the same time, he seemed to expect failure.
Marcus voiced a similar thought:" Brother, in honesty, you do not expect to hear her, do you? Why set yourself up for certain disappointment?" He began amused and ended intrigued. During his question, he stood back up and to the seat he had occupied before.
Aro ignored his question, his attention still focused solely on me, more accurate, on my eyes, as he rephrased his question. "May I?"
Would he stay away if I told him no? I don't really mind him trying, I think its at least a little funny. It truly seems to bother him, frustrate him. But would he really stay away? Would he respect my decision, although he was so much stronger then I?
Slowly I formed my answer; I needed certainty. "I'd rather you didn't." For a moment I thought I saw hurt and disappointment, before his usual smile was in place. He straightened up and took a step back. "Of course. I understand. Have a good evening then, Bella." After that he turned to Marcus and inclined his head slightly, as he said, "Marcus."
I felt guilty. He respected my answer, took it in stride, didn't push, nor did he act against my wish. I should have known. Now I knew for sure that they probably hadn't read my diaries either, just like they had promised. I felt terrible, to doubt them, after they had been nothing but kind, but I had needed proof, it had been essential somehow, an internal necessity.
Aro turned humanly slow towards the door to leave. Before I knew, what I did, I was up and had reached for him. I ended up with the fabric of his sleeve between my fingers, as my hand had not found purpose on his upper arm. He turned around then, looking at me with curiosity.
"Bella?" An eyebrow rose with this question. I couldn't look at him, so my eyes dropped, suddenly finding the buttons on his vest very interesting. My hair framed my face now. Somewhere along I had lost my scrunchy.
"Wait, Aro. I..." I knew what I wanted to say, but didn't now how to phrase it. It was more difficult then imagined. Luckily he didn't rush me, but only stood there, in silence, waiting for me to carry on.
"Aro, I, I'm so sorry. I just, I needed to know, to be sure..." I took a huge breath, hoping it would give me the guts to tell him.
"Calm down, Bella. You can tell me. I won't be mad, I promise. Just explain how ever you can." He was so calm, his voice so reassuring, that my anxiety began to dwindle, until I could pluck up the courage to tell him.
"I wouldn't mind you trying, I was just, I didn't know what your reaction would be if I told you no, whether you would..." My voice grew thinner with every word I spoke, until it gave out on me in my shame. Aro's eyes became softer, an expression of understanding taking the place of his curiosity.
"You wanted to know, whether I would act against your wishes to gain my goal. You tested me." His voice held no resentment. He stated facts. The last part made me flinch, my remorse weighed heavy. Tears welled in my eyes, I felt so bad. My voice had left me, and when I tried to answer only a croak came out, so I mutely nodded.
"Oh, Bella." Unexpectedly, he drew me into an embrace, holding me tightly against his chest. I could hear a low rumble. When he spoke, his voice was sharp and colder then ice, it chilled me to my bones. Only his words made it clear his anger was not directed at me.
"If I ever find the culprit, who caused all this: your self consciousness, insecurity, fear, and inability tu trust others, he will pay. It is alright. I bear you no ill will. I just wish you didn't feel the need to reassure yourself like that. I still hope we will earn your trust."
Slowly he leaned back and made me look at him. "I told you before and I will keep telling you, until you believe it yourself: we mean you no harm. You can trust us. We will not act against you."
All the while, he had not touched any bare skin, he had kept the contact to clothed areas only.
That revelation turned my lips up faintly. I was grateful.
"I'm really sorry, Aro. It was somehow imperative, like a compulsion.. I knew it was not right and yet I simply had to know for sure. You really can try, I don't mind." Aro smiled a little in return, gently taking the hand I had raised in offer in to his. He closed his eyes, obviously concentrating very hard. Only a few moments later he released the same and smiled cheerily.
"Ah, yes."
"What?" I asked appalled, fearing he had seen everything. His eyes reopened and sparkled at me. I was nauseous. Oh my god, he knows! Before my mental panic got out of hand, he told us: "Still nothing, not one glimpse, just blankness. You are still a mystery."
I let out the breath, I had not known I had held, with a 'whoosh'. And breathed deeply.
Aro smiled. "Perhaps another time. Good evening, Marcus; good night then, Bella. I will send for your dinner."
With that he was out the room. I stood there, completely, utterly and thoroughly confused. Slowly I shook my head and made to sit down again, dazed.
What just happened? How can he be so happy, when he couldn't see anything?
Automatically I looked at Marcus for any kind of enlightenment and he sat there, just like before, a small, understanding smile playing about his lips.
"Huh?" Was my genius comment. Somehow Marcus caught the drift though, and smirked at me.
"Aro loves nothing more then a good puzzle, a mystery to solve. He found that in you, you intrigue him. I think he would have been disappointed, had he found to be able to read you."
I recognized what he said, but somehow this seemed messed up.
"He's strange," I said those words to myself, but of course, my companion heard.
My mumbled words caused Marcus to laugh. In an attempt to mask it, he coughed.
"Vampires don't cough." I dead-paned. At this Marcus broke out in laughter, and I swear I heard Felix' chuckle.
"Too true."Marcus managed, when he had calmed down. With that he sunk back into the backrest.
"You know, I don't need dinner, I can just eat the left over sandwiches." I said in an attempt to start the conversation back up again. My goal was getting back to the root of our conversation.
"I assume it is already cooked," was his short reply.
There are still so many things I want to know! Okay, back to being blunt. I told myself.
"So, Marcus, you explained to me the position of your family, but I have yet to hear your comment on my other observations." My voice was businesslike, and Marcus reacted accordingly. He threw me a sheepish look, sighed, then explained his hesitation: "I don't know, what to tell you. I am afraid of how you will take to the things I might reveal." His face was back into the neutral expression I had come to distaste so much.
"Don't!" I all but shouted. Marcus' head turned to face me in record time. I revoiced in a softer tone, "Don't hide again, please. I would much rather see, how you feel. It makes it easier for me to talk with you. Aro almost always smiles. To be honest it creeps me out a bit, and I have only ever seen Caius scowling. It's the only way I can gauge your reaction, though. Without the display of emotion in your voice or on your face, I stand absolutely clueless. Please, don't." At the end I was pleading.
Almost instantly, the mask melted away, and the real Marcus was there. I was relieved. He looked contrite.
"Forgive me, Bella. Our kind doesn't like to show vulnerability. A straight face can be very useful. For me, well, let's say I have worn an expression of boredom for a long time, and for a personal reason. It is new to me, to feel so many different emotions and accordingly even harder show them openly. It feels strange." He was very vague, but somehow I knew he did so with intent. I let it slide.
"Would it be easier, if I just asked questions? You wouldn't have to talk without a clue. You could answer my questions however you deem appropriate." Evidently, it was hard for him not to tell me too much. I just hoped my offer would make it possible for him to continue with our talk.
"Yes, I would feel more comfortable if we continued like that." he confessed.
"Well, you mentioned, that you fought 'hundreds of years ago', to ensure the secret. How old are you, and, if it's not too personal to ask, how old were you, when you were changed?" I was excited. I might finally get my answers!
He looked at me tortured for a little while, but in the end he brought himself to tell me.
"The exact age surpasses my knowledge. Roughly estimated, I had lived my 25th winter, when Aro changed me. As to how old I am altogether, we think around 2500 years, but rather less then more." He spoke nonchalant, as if it was nothing special, but his nervousness from before belied the blasé attitude he now used. My mind was blown. 2500 years? Impossible! And Aro changed him, so he must be older. How much older? How is this possible! Are there elder ones? What has happened during all this time? The Roman Empire! All the philosophers, the wars, the inventions, composers, writers... Shakespeare! And so much more...
I was floored. Unable to speak I simply sat there, gaping at him, my thoughts racing a million miles an hour.
I realized Marcus was getting uncomfortable with my lasting silence, but I just couldn't make myself move. Lastly, a knock on the door broke me from my stupor.
"Enter," was all Marcus said, while his glowing red orbs never broke their focus on me.
Slowly I recovered from the shock his declaration had invoked.
Felix entered with a tablet full off food in his hand and a cocky smirk on his face. He looked smug as hell. "Finally speechless?"
I gulped. 2500 my mind whispered a last time. I shook my head to dispel the last remnants of my daze. Felix' attitude got to me, and sparked my resistance.
"Good evening, Felix. It's sad, really. You surely are a man of honour, keeping your word?" I didn't wait for his answer, as I meant that rhetorically, but continued on in the same neutral, emotionless tone, that I had learned to use during my depression. "You promised to try to keep your reactions to our conversation to yourself. As I assume you wouldn't break mentioned promise, I have to come to the conclusion you failed. You have just about the same control as I, a meak human. A shame, really..." Meaningfully I drifted off.
Felix and Marcus froze. I just looked on, this time, my mask was in place and all my walls up. Marcus was the first to recover. He leaned back in his cushions and looked between Felix and I. Felix still stared at me. It was unnerving, but I refused to back down. I had promised myself to be stronger, to stand up for myself, I would not cave on the very first day. Secretly, I was a little afraid and hoped, that Marcus would defend me, if I really made Felix snap. A little while later Felix sat the tablet down on the table, not breaking our staring contest. We were still going strong, the only interruption was me blinking my eyes in regular intervals to wet them, other then that, no change.
The silence became suffocating, you could have cut the tension with a knife. Marcus obtained his seat calmly, a quiet observer to this spectacle, a witness. After who knows how long, the corners of Felix' moth began to lift up ever so lightly. In response, mine did, too. Half a minute later, we both knew it. We were both just as stubborn as the other.
First there were only chuckles, those grew more intense and then we were laughing. Marcus joined us, shaking his head. And just like that the tension evaporated.
When we had composed ourselves, Felix mustered me appreciatively and winked.
"Touché. But one could also turn it into a compliment: One might say you are just as strong as me, a vampire." He nodded at me and Marcus, then left the room, without another word.
Yet again I sat there flabbergasted.
Huh? I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Did Felix just actually say that? Can't be...
Movement caught my eye. Marcus had placed the table with my dinner on it in front of me.
"Thanks." Came my reflexive reply.
I took up the cutlery and methodically began to eat. It didn't even register, what I was eating.
"Okay. What just happened?" I sounded baffled even to my own ears. Marcus grinned amusedly. "That, Bella, was Felix paying you a compliment."
"But..." Marcus interrupted me before I could utter another word.
"No 'buts'. He was impressed by your courage and the strength of your will. There are not many humans, if there are any at all, who would begin a staring contest, as childish it may seem to an outsider, with a vampire, and even fewer, who would refuse to give up. Felix is old enough to accredit that. This was his way to pay deference to your strength. Take it with grace. Everything else would diminish his pride. It would insult him." Marcus tone was very strict and I realized my mistake.
"Oh. Thank you, Felix." I felt ashamed.
"It was well deserved, Isabella," came his clear reply from the direction of the door.
I felt better now.
"So, won't you eat some more?" Marcus' gaze was piercing and with determination I shovelled three or four more bites into my mouth. He smiled. After those I had to call it quits. I was beginning to feel sick. Fighting the nausea I leaned back again, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. Some minutes later I was sure I had won.
Happy and proud, I turned to my fellow, only to find him regarding me peculiarly.
"You were not well just now, were you?" Naturally, he had noticed.
"No, I was feeling a little sick, but I am fine now." It wasn't as awkward, as I thought it would be, to admit my weakness. Somehow, admitting it made me feel better even. I could talk about this problem now, at least with Marcus. He knew. At home, I never would have told anyone. It was one of my dark secrets.
The smell of the remaining food still bothered me though, so I stacked the plate of my afternoon snack on top of my dinner plate, proceeding to push the table away from me.
"Shall we take this out?" Marcus gestured to the tablet. "Does it bother you?"
"Well, yes, the scent. It was good, don't get me wrong, but now it is unsettling."
"I see, like the breakfast on your first day?"
I nodded.
"Felix?"
Not a moment later, Felix leisurely strolled in.
"Master." Again with the slight bow.
"Would you please take the tablet with you? You can retire for the evening then. Thank you."
"Of course, Master. Have a good evening. Bella, have a good night then." He winked again, when he left. I was relieved. He didn't hold a grudge.
"Okay, so you are about 2500 years old, correct?" I jumped right back in.
"You certainly don't beat around the bush. Yes you heard right." He truly was personified patience.
"And Aro is elder then you, as you mentioned he changed you. How much older?" I was getting bolder the longer we talked.
"This is something you should ask him; but yes, correct again." His voice held no frustration, it was mostly neutral, perhaps with a light touch of amusement.
"Is your age the reason, why you and your family are so different, why there is that milky film on your eyes and your skin seems so papery, you move so incredibly smooth? Can you even see properly? Is your skin breakable, vulnerable? When did you start to change to realize these changes, did they come on gradually, or were they just there one day? How old are the others?" I was taking a deep breath to continue my flood of questions, when Marcus put a hand to my mouth to shut me up.
His skin was cold, and felt different; softer? It was not papery, as I had anticipated.
"One question at a time, Bella. I will answer all your questions, no need to hurry so.
"You guessed right again. Our age makes us different in many ways. Our skin changes its structure, though it does not change its quality. It is just as impenetrable. The film on our eyes is a result of age, too. It also doesn't impair our vision. All these changes come on gradually over hundreds of years. You see, when vampires age, they refine. Our senses hone, as do our talents, so we possess one. We can move more quickly, process things faster. But you need to grasp that there are not many, who reach this age. We are very territorial beings and often fight amongst ourselves. Only very few survive the first thousand years, and even less reach two thousand. Many get bored with their life, and seek out an end, others simply loose their life to frivolity or overestimation of their own capabilities. Again I see the reason for the continued existence of my family in our cohesion. Not many of our kind, keep such close company. It is also the reason, why we view ourselves more a s a family, than a coven."
That was a lot to take in. And I had at least a hundred other questions, but I was getting so tired now, I could hardly keep my yawns at bay. Marcus naturally caught on.
"It is late, Bella. You need your rest. I promise we can continue this conversation tomorrow, but I'd rather you rest for now. I wouldn't want you to strain your health any more than necessary. Does this suggestion meet your approval?" Marcus left the decision to me, like he so often did. I liked that. I wanted to talk more, but I was getting more tired with every passing second, so with a heavy heart I agreed.
After thanking Marcus, and wishing him a good night, I made my way through my nightly routine and went to bed, my sleepy mind still swimming with all the information I had gotten today.
End note:
Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think, please?