Author's note: I honestly don't know what to say about canon events lately so I'll just tell you that fanfic has always been my happy place. My warm, fluffy happy place. And this story is going to have a great big warm fluffy ending. So there.

Chapter Four: Confessions

It was Peppa Pig's fault. If Daisy hadn't experienced the ecstasy of over-sized dancing pigs while sitting next to a certain headmistress Kate might have found a way to persuade her daughter that there were other things in the world besides Caroline. But the theatre trip had cemented Caroline's place in Daisy's heart and Kate had reluctantly surrendered to the inevitable.

Despite what she'd thought, Caroline had apparently not noticed her desire at all, or if she'd noticed it she'd quickly got over her discomfort, because the invitations had come thick and fast. In the last month they'd been to the park, the soft play centre, the local toy shop and even, to Kate's dismay, to Caroline's house. She'd stood nervously in the beautiful kitchen and talked to William in his schoolboy French while listening to the squeals of joy coming from the garden. When they'd come back inside they'd both been drenched. She'd had to bite her tongue rather than ask why a mother of two teenagers owned a suspiciously pristine-looking Postman Pat water gun.

It had been wonderful and terrible all at once. Her daughter had been in heaven, but for her...she'd been dating her, to all intents and purposes, only she was never allowed to touch. Never allowed to hug her hello, to kiss her goodnight. Never allowed to run her hands through her golden hair, to stroke her cheek when she was adorable, to take her hand and soothe her when the traffic was sending her into a rage.

They were friends now, certainly. Their polite but distant professional relationship had turned into a genuine friendship. Each time they were alone together after putting Daisy to bed Caroline would open up to her a little more, sharing a few more details of her life, and Kate would fall a little further in love. She'd started to talk about her own life too, about the divorce, about Richard, even about the three miscarriages, when Caroline had held her hand silently, the only time she'd ever touched her. She'd felt the warmth of her hand for hours afterwards.

One topic, of course, was off limits. There was a good chance that she knew about her sexuality already, of course, the school grapevine being what it was, but she hoped that they could discreetly avoid the subject. Caroline didn't seem like someone who would be homophobic but you could never really tell, and besides, questions about her love life would immediately lead to the real danger area. It would be best for everyone if they could all be thoroughly British about it and ignore the rainbow-coloured elephant in the room.

Tonight they were at Kate's house after a long, lazy afternoon in the park, and she was about to put Daisy to bed.

"Calorine read me a story."

"Would your Mummy mind? Kate, is that all right?"

"Is it all right with you? Sorry, she loves a bedtime story, I should've guessed you'd be roped into it."

"I'd love to, haven't done this in ages. You don't mind?"

She smiles at her. "Of course not. As long as you're not scared of Gruffalos."

"Don't be silly Mummy, the Grufflo isn't scary, he's nice. Mummy's not as brave as I am sometimes."

"I'll come up to tuck you in in a little while, OK? Will you show Caroline where your toothbrush is?"

Daisy nods and leads her charge by the hand, Caroline following meekly in her wake. A woman who has been known to make grown men cry and she turns her into a puppy dog.

When she joins them 15 minutes later she arrives at the end of the story, Daisy already in bed. Caroline's sitting on the chair beside her bed and reading in a tone of voice she's never heard her use before, soft and calm and soothing.

"All was quite in the deep dark wood; the mouse found a nut and the nut was good. The end."

She watches, hypnotised, as Caroline leans down and gently, ever so gently, kisses her sleeping daughter on the forehead. She suddenly has to escape.

"Bathroom break," she blurts out, startling Caroline, "see you downstairs."

Inside the bathroom she closes the door and stares at her own reflection. This has to stop, it has to. She can't keep getting closer, she can't handle her being in the house, being so kind to Daisy, loving her so much. Something's going to snap.

Just get through tonight, she thinks, get through the next half an hour, pretend you're tired and send her home. And then figure out a way to keep her in Daisy's life and get her out of your own.

She heads back downstairs, bracing herself, trying her best to smile normally at Caroline. There's a slightly uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Caroline speaks.

"I think we should talk."

Her voice is quiet and serious; she's staring at the carpet. Her pulse rate quickens slightly.

"You and I have been spending more time together recently, because of Daisy, and I'm aware that there are times when that has perhaps not been particularly easy for you."

Oh Christ, she's really saying it. She didn't think she'd ever do this, she'd been sure that even if Caroline had noticed her attraction she'd politely ignore it and carry on as usual. But she's apparently decided she needs to let her down gently. Oh dear God.

"I know it's not, er, that it can be a bit strange to be around your boss so much, out of school, and I just wanted to let you know that I do understand that."

Wait, what? Her boss?

"I don't...I'm not sure I understand."

"I'm saying that I realize that you might prefer not to socialize quite so much with your employer, I understand why you wouldn't. Perhaps we could sort out an arrangement where I take Daisy to the park sometimes, just the two of us. That might work, don't you think?"

No, no, no, what's happening? Has she actually guessed after all, she's just finding a way to get away from her without talking about it?

"If that's...if that's what you want."

She can feel her eyes on her now; it takes real effort to return her gaze.

"I thought that's what you would prefer."

"Did you?" Kate says quietly. She's lost, she has no idea whether they're on the same page or not.

"Yes. I did. Kate, I think we've known each other long enough to be honest. You apologise every time we see each other out of school, you apologise for Daisy wanting to spend time with me, there are times when I think we're really becoming friends but at other times I seem to make you so uncomfortable...it's unusual to be socializing with your boss, I understand that it can't be easy for you and I don't want you to be uneasy, to impinge on your time away from school."

The sincerity is clear in her eyes. She hasn't guessed at all.

"It's really not like that, Caroline. It really isn't."

"Kate, you don't have to be polite, I've told you I understand."

"It's not like that," she says weakly. She can tell that Caroline doesn't believe her.

"All right. Well. If you're happy with the way things are..."

Is she? Richard's words come back to her; three years of solitude. How long are you going to be alone, Katie? For how long?

"The truth is..." She takes a sip of her apple juice, wishing it was wine. "The truth is that it's not because you're my boss."

"Then why?" She looks so confused.

"It's because...OK, look. I'm assuming that you've heard certain...rumours, about me. About my personal life."

"Rumours?"

"Yes. Have you?"

A pause.

"I try not to listen to gossip."

"Right, but if you did listen to it, you would have heard some things about me? One thing in particular?"

Another pause. It feels like there's not enough oxygen in the room.

"Yes."

"And what would that be?"

She wants to make Caroline say it, to hear how she phrases it, to listen for any disapproval in her voice.

"One particular rumour would indicate that you've had relationships with women."

There's nothing there for her to analyse – it sounded factual, a simple statement. Her voice sounded perfectly calm. From the corner of her eye she can see Caroline place her glass on the coffee table.

"So. Having heard that, having noticed that things are a bit...awkward, sometimes, between us, that I'm a bit awkward...you're an intelligent woman, Caroline, can I leave you to fill in the rest?"

There's a long silence, Caroline motionless beside her.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

There's an edge to her voice that she can't identify. Is she offended? Disgusted?

"Honestly? Not any time soon."

"Why not?" she says tightly.

"Because. I knew what the response would be."

"Because I'm straight?"

"Yes."

She steals a look at her; she can't decipher the expression on her face, but there's worry there, certainly.

"I'm not sure...I'm not sure that describing me as straight would be..."

Her pulse starts racing. Surely the only end to that sentence is...

"…would be 100% honest."

She leans forward and places her glass on the table as carefully as she can manage, trying to stay calm.

"Would it be 99% honest?" she says, trying to sound casual, teasing.

"I would think that anything near the nineties would be rather on the high side. Very high." Her voice is so quiet now, her head lowered. She wants to hug her, to comfort her. To jump up and down with joy.

"I didn't know."

"No. No. Bit of a state secret."

"Thank you for being honest with me. For trusting me."

"I do trust you."

"I'm glad."

There's one more unanswered question, of course, but she can't quite make herself ask it. They sit in an awkward silence for what feels like hours until she can't bear it anymore.

"I think Daisy noticed before you did."

Caroline studies her, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"I think perhaps she might have picked up on my feelings for you and that's influenced how much she likes you. You can teach children prejudice, can't you, so easily, so maybe you can teach them...the opposite."

Her lips are slightly parted; she tries not to think about kissing them.

"Possibly. I think I'd prefer it if we decided that she liked me of her own accord, just because I'm so fabulous."

"Right. I'm sure that's right. She always has liked you, actually. Even as a baby." They smile at each other, the tension easing slightly.

"So what now?" says Caroline.

"That's up to you." Tell me, she thinks, tell me how you feel, what you want.

"We have a number of...complications."

"Yes. We do." She doesn't exactly sound thrilled. Her heart sinks.

"If we were to...we'd have to talk about things practically, ensure that we had a shared understanding of the situation."

So it's possible, she's not turning her down flat, but...but. She sounds like she's in a staff meeting, talking drily about the budget; there's no excitement there whatsoever.

"Right."

"What I mean is that we'd have to agree that we'd always be cordial, whatever happened, because I couldn't bear to hurt Daisy."

"Oh Caroline. Yes, no, you're right." She feels guilty for judging her, but she's still confused, unsure of where she stands.

"So...if we agreed to that, would you like to, potentially...have dinner one day? Just you and me?"

She's waited years for this moment and now it's here it feels so hollow it physically hurts.

"I think perhaps...not."

Caroline stares at her, shocked. "Not?"

"No. I think perhaps it's not such a good idea."

"But, I...I've totally misunderstood, I'm so sorry-"

"You didn't misunderstand. But if I'm going to date someone then I'd like them to be happy about the idea. At least at the beginning, before they've worked out how dull I am." She gives her what she hopes is a breezy, forgiving smile.

"What are you talking about?"

"Caroline, you're not even smiling. You look like you're opening a bank account, not asking someone you like out for dinner. Please don't ask me because you think it's kind, it won't be in the long run."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to appear...I'm sorry. It's been hundreds of years since I've done this, 200 years since I've done this with a woman. I'm massively out of practice."

To her surprise, she realizes she's nervous – her hands are balled into fists, the knuckles almost white; her posture is stiff and tense. And she said 200 years since...she really isn't straight.

"I am happy about the idea, I promise you. I might not be able to show it right this second, but I am."

The look in her eyes is so obviously sincere that her mood lifts sharply.

"I believe you," she says softly. They share a tentative smile.

"So...dinner, do you think?"

"Definitely. How about a week today, Richard will have Daisy for most of the weekend. I can cook something for us, if you like."

"That sounds wonderful. A week today it is."

Kate tries unsuccessfully to clamp down on the megawatt smile on her face. A date, a real date with her. Only seven days to go.

"I'd best get going," Caroline says reluctantly, "I've a hundred and one things I've got to sort out before Monday morning."

"Right. OK. We'll talk soon?"

"We will."

They walk to the front door together, Kate wondering whether she'll allow a hug.

"Bye then," Caroline says, smiling. "Thank you for another lovely day."

"Bye, see you soon."

She pauses at the door and Kate seizes the moment, enfolding her gently into a hug. Caroline's arms slowly wind around her waist and they settle in to a warm, comfortable embrace. When Caroline eventually pulls back she's disappointed - she could have stayed in her arms for hours – but then she sees the mixture of affection, hope and entirely uncharacteristic shyness in her expression.

They smile at each other once more before Caroline leaves.

She's got a date with Dr Caroline Elliot.