A/N: Hi! Thanks for the feedback on chapter 1! Here is part two. I hope you enjoy it.
I also used some more quotes I don't own in this story. There are a couple of Glee quotes (I'm sorry) from 'The Quarterback' episode and I kept imagining Fili saying them if Thorin had died. Please leave a review.
Oh, and if go on YouTube and search for 'Free audio I'm going to spend my entire life missing him' and listen to the first link you might understand it better/ how it's said. I almost cried when I listened to it for the first time. Just imagine Fili saying it while mourning Thorin!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit. All rights belong to J.R.R Tolkien
It was a month to the day that Thorin Oakenshield had fallen.
It had been many hours before his body had been moved from the arms of Fili and Kili who had eventually collapsed exhausted, their grief and the length of the battle finally catching up to them. They had been carried from the battlefield into the healing rooms of Erebor and nursed back to health. Thorin had been carried to the great hall and laid in an old tomb made of stone.
Thorin's funeral had taken place a week later. The company of course was there, as well as Dain and his surviving warriors. Many men of Lake Town including Bard had also come to pay their respects and offer their prayers to the fallen King. Although many tears were spilled at the funeral none came from Fili's eyes. He held his brother who sobbed into his shoulder but Fili only stood staring at the now lifeless face of his uncle, his own face blank of any emotion.
Fili's coronation took place the next day.
The dwarf prince accepted the throne and wore his crown but with no smile. His speeches were absent of any spirit and his eyes contained none of the sparkle they usually held.
Kili was a mess at the start. He wouldn't smile and would spend a lot of time clinging to his brother tears in his eyes. But he got better. More dwarfs arrived at the mountain. He began talking to both old and new faces. He spent time with lots of them and slowly his trademark grin made its way back onto his face. He began to laugh again and sleep at night without waking up and crying for his both his uncle and brother.
But while Kili improved his older brother did not.
Fili would eat and sleep and wash. He would attend council meetings and fulfil his duties as King. He would do what he must but he was not happy. He did not smile or laugh he hardly spoke to anyone. Balin, worried for his King, got dwarfs ranging from members of the company to Dain to talk to Fili and Fili talked back but it did not help him. He answered as little as possible and most of the time the dwarfs would give up.
It was on the day that marked a month since Thorin's death that Balin had had enough.
The old dwarf was standing on a balcony cut out of the rock that over looked the land the mountain stood over. He could see the merry flags of dale flapping in the wind and the dwarfish market below him – dwarfs and men walking to and from each place. He noticed a movement to his left from the corner of his eye and turned to see Fili ascending some steps. They were steps that led from the burial chamber thought Balin grimly.
"Good morning King Fili," Balin said trying to put joy into his voice. Fili nodded in response and stood next to Balin to join him looking over the land. They stood in silence. Balin glanced at Fili who was looking down upon the market below with sad eyes. Suddenly Balin couldn't take it anymore.
"Fili you have to stop this," Balin called out loudly. Fili jumped at the sudden outburst and looked at Blin before turning away.
"Please don't-" Fili began quietly but Balin grabbed him to stop him going away and pulled him around to face him.
"No. Fili this is not you. You are a shell of who you once were since the battle. You're walking around as if nothing will ever be good again-"
"It won't" Fili interrupted
"Yes it will," said Balin sternly. He calmed down slightly to talk in a softer tone. "Listen Fili. I know you are still upset over Thorin's death," Fili shut his eyes when Thorin's name was mentioned "and I know you will always be sad about it, but it's been a month. You have a life to live and duties to fulfil. Your people need a King who is happy to be the King. You need to tell someone what's going on in your head and then you will feel better." Balin finished. Fili slowly turned to look back down to the market where both dwarfs could just make out Kili walking around the stalls with a group of friends laughing about something. "Kili has found happiness again. Why can't you?" Balin asked softly. Fili stood for several moments and Balin was about to leave when the King spoke.
"I see Kili," Fili began looking at his younger brother below him "and I see him smile. Although I'm thankful he is happy once more I always wonder 'how does he wake up every day?' Because sometimes I wish that I won't wake up." Fili voice cracked slightly and his breathing started to quicken as he fought to hold back tears. Blain went to go forward to comfort him but Fili straightened himself up and shook the old dwarf off him "But you do wake up," he said slowly "and for just a second, you forget. And then, oh you remember," Fili whispered. "I was there when he died Balin. He spoke his last words to me and I felt him go limp. I saw the light leave his eyes," Fili got out before slumping onto the balcony stone railing and letting out a broken wail. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. The tears and emotions he had been caging in for a month finally realising themselves. Balin froze quite stricken for a moment before moving forward to pat the golden haired dwarf on the back.
"It's ok, Fili," Balin said comfortingly. Fili shook his head that was still in his hands.
"It's not," Fili replied. He raised his head and stood up straight, his hands shaking by his side. "You and everyone else keeps asking me 'how are you feeling?' 'What are you feeling?' I have no answers Balin." Fili said looking out across his kingdom.
"I'm going to spend my entire life missing him," Fili said a tear streaming down his face.