A/N: Another long wait, I know... Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It was another extremely hard one to write (early chapters always are, though), and of course, I'm still a little iffy on parts of it, but I didn't want to keep you waiting much longer. Thanks for all of your support! Please don't hesitate to share any kind of feedback in the comments section! I'm always looking for some fresh perspectives of my stories, so thanks in advance!
EXPRESSING MY LOVE
- 5 -
Saturday Night
"Hey, it's Kendall. No, no poker today. Because I said so, that's why! Stay away from my place today, or I'll kick your ass."
"Hey, what's up. Nothing, I'm good. Just feelin' a lil sick is all. Yeah...I'm callin' everybody and tellin' them to forget about poker this week. Play somewhere else."
"Nah, I got a bad cough, man. I'm not up for poker. I'll win against you idiots next week. Yeah. See you at work. Bye."
It was that time of day between the morning and the afternoon, when the sun sat extremely high and sent down its blistering rays with no apologies. Kendall had his rickety old window unit air conditioner blowing at full speed, but beads of sweat still formed at his hairline. Of course, that had nothing to do with the heat.
After making his final phone call, he stood stationary in the middle of his living room. Now what? He was nervous as hell, and he gave the room a subtle inspection. Yes, Logan had been in his home twice already, but still...even if he wouldn't admit it, Kendall was very self-conscious about the impression he was making on the cute lil stranger. The guitar had proven to be an asset, so he had it sitting on the floor next to the recliner, just in case Logan might have wanted to hear another song. Logan was planning to cook, so the kitchen was now spotless. Kendall had even managed to scrape some of the grime and gunk off of the framed photographs, just in case Logan might have wanted to look at them again. His mind was already associating all of these things with Logan, and he wanted to do his best to preserve them.
Logan. That name...that name...
He didn't know if he should wait on the porch...wait in the driveway...or just sit on the couch and wait...maybe sit at the kitchen table and wait...or go out in the backyard (But what if he thinks I'm not home and leaves?) or maybe...ugh. His nerves were tattered. He wasn't the type to come up with fool-proof strategies to get what he wanted, but he knew how to wing it and play by ear. It was how he'd come up with the brilliant idea to question Logan about good ol' "Lindsey," and his only plan for today was that there would be no plan - just instincts.
With that in mind, he picked up the guitar and sat in the middle of the living room floor. It was the only way he knew how to calm himself, and so he began to strum, once again singing a song his mother had always loved...
"Take the ribbon from your hair,
Shake it loose, and let it fall.
Lay it soft against your skin
Like the shadows on the wall."
"Come and lay down by my side
'Til the early mornin' light.
All I'm takin' is your time.
Help me make it through the night."
"I don't care what's right or wrong.
I won't try to understand.
Let the devil take tomorrow.
Lord, tonight, I need a friend."
"Yesterday is dead and gone,
And tomorrow's out of sight,
And it's sad to be alone.
Help me make it through the night."
By the time he'd gotten to the third verse, Kendall knew he was no longer alone in the trailer. His back had been turned to the front door, but he'd been living by himself long enough to just know when there was someone else in his presence.
"Did you...did you write that one?" Logan asked, but he could barely even speak. For the second time in a row, Kendall's singing voice had caught him off guard, and it was making him feel things he didn't think he should feel for someone he barely knew, things that he didn't even want to feel if, in the end, he was only subconsciously chasing after the make-believe fantasy that this country boy could ever be like him.
"No," Kendall replied without turning around or standing up. "It's another one of my mama's favorites." In his mind, it had to be pretty obvious now that he was interested in more than just a friendship.
"Oh...well...it was beautiful. Just like the other one was."
Kendall nodded slowly, waiting for Logan to make some kind of move...to offer to help him make it through the night...for something, but when there was nothing, he calmly stood, put on his best smile, and turned around.
"Hey, what is that?" he asked, his mind now occupied by the two big paper bags Logan held.
"Oh, it's a surprise," Logan teased. Kendall took the bags and opened them on the coffee table, taking two cheeseburgers and two cartons of French fries out of one and two milkshakes out of the other.
"Oh, really now?" Kendall asked. "Bonanza Burger somehow fits into your whole healthy eatin' thing?"
"Well," Logan began as he and Kendall sat on the couch and separated the food. "I figured, last time, we had something I like, so this time, we could have something you like."
"How did you know I like Bonanza Burger?"
"Oh, I just had a hunch," Logan said. "I saw all of these people coming out with greasy bags, so I took a wild guess that you would appreciate it."
"Haha! I do," Kendall beamed. He began to devour his fries.
"One of the tenets of healthy eating, you see, is being unhealthy," Logan explained as he took in some of his vanilla milkshake. "If you force yourself to follow a strict diet every single day, all of the time, you're gonna give into temptation in a really bad way somewhere down the line. But, if you pick one day out of the week to eat and drink whatever you want, you satisfy those cravings without falling off of your diet."
Kendall nodded with a mouthful of cheeseburger, though he hadn't really listened or understood. "That makes sense. Give into temptation, satisfy cravings. I got it."
Logan snickered at Kendall's adorable gluttony. Yeah, you got it, all right. He nibbled passively on his cheeseburger, not wanting to make a total pig out of himself. Truth be told, he'd trained himself to not have the slightest appetite for burgers and fries, but he was willing to compromise that for Kendall.
"You know, while I was driving over here just now," he began, "I remembered that you said something about having your friends over on Saturdays."
"Oh...yeah," Kendall said. "Um...I told them not to come this week."
"You didn't have to do that! I didn't mean to cut you off from your friends or anything."
Kendall just started shaking his head, waiting for his bite of cheeseburger to go down his throat. "It's no big deal, I promise. I see those knuckleheads enough at work. And besides, I'd rather spend the day with you." Come on, it has to be obvious now, right?
Logan bit his lip a little, trying to convince himself that he was reading too much into Kendall's words. "Well...good."
Again, Kendall waited for Logan to say or do something to show him that his mild attempts at flirtation weren't going unnoticed, but again, nothing happened, and they were both content to eat the rest of their fast food meal in silence. Kendall got up and threw away the wrappers, cups, cartons, and bags, the whole time wondering what would be the right thing to do or say to get Logan to see that "someone like Lindsey" was right in front of him. He came back and sat in the recliner.
"What are your friends like?" Logan asked, wanting to fill the silent void with something, but not knowing what. "You keep calling them names like you don't really care for 'em."
"Eh," Kendall replied, trying to find the right words to describe it. "I tolerate 'em. I put up with 'em. I mean, they're not horrible guys. Just...well, they're just annoying, you know? They're immature. They're constantly thinkin' 'bout and talkin' 'bout the same old things. I don't know." He got a little frustrated when the right words wouldn't come out. "They just don't seem to want nothin' more out of life. That make sense?"
"Yeah, it makes perfect sense," Logan agreed. "When you're a person who wants to do things and see things, you start to feel like you're being dragged down when you're around people who are fine with being where they're at."
"Right. It's not their fault, I guess. I mean...it could be just me. Maybe I should just accept what I got here and let that be the end of it. Maybe I'm the weird one."
Logan shook his head. Something he was starting to notice about Kendall was that he loved to talk crap about himself. If it was anyone else, Logan would have accused them of fishing for compliments and attention, but he could tell Kendall honestly had some deeply hidden self-esteem issues. "Come on," he said, "you aren't weird. And you should never accept anything less than what you want out of life."
"Well," Kendall chuckled, "I'm definitely not normal. There are...well, there are a couple of things that make me far from normal."
"Look, if anyone here should feel like they're not normal, it's me. I promise you, from the second I got into this town, I've felt like a fish out of water. Everywhere I go, I feel like everyone is staring at me like I don't belong."
"It's because you don't belong," Kendall said.
"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing! Just that...well, you're different from everybody else in this town. You've been places, and you've seen things, and you know things, and...you're just different. People 'round here see that, and it makes 'em feel 'shamed because they know you're different."
"I guess..."
All of this talk about being different and being weird and not being normal...Logan knew it had to be coming from somewhere, but he wasn't brave enough or risky enough to take the conversation to the next level. If he were to come clean about who he really was - about who "Lindsey" really was - how would Kendall respond? Meanwhile, the only thing Kendall wanted to talk about was who Logan really was, and who he really was, too.
"I think I'm different, too," Kendall said quietly. Logan was getting good at picking up the subtle clues of Kendall's language. Whenever he got real quiet and started talking with his head low, Logan knew that he was being sincere.
"What do you mean?" he asked, the sincerity evidently being contagious.
"I don't know," Kendall answered, getting frustrated again. "I just am. Things make me different. One thing in particular makes me different." And then it all hit him like a ton of bricks, the fact that he might have been one or two breaths away from telling someone his deepest, darkest secret. He knew he could trust Logan to keep it, but he couldn't bring himself to come right out and say it. If Logan asked, though, he'd be completely honest.
"You know," Logan said, clearing his throat, "me and you might be different from everyone else in good ol' Autumn, Kansas, but I think we might have something in common."
"I think we do." Here it comes.
"Yeah...we...both...we both like to sing."
"We do?" An entirely different revelation for sure.
"Well, I've been told that I can carry a tune," Logan hinted. He bobbed his head to the guitar. "You've sung to me twice, so I think I owe you at least one song, right?"
Kendall was still looking down, trying to accept that what he wanted to happen wasn't gonna happen just yet, but damn it, it was going to happen. He looked up and smiled. "Yeah. You sure do."
He picked up his guitar and started to strum. "What do you want to sing?"
"What songs do you know?"
"I know a good bit. Not just my Mama's favorites, either."
"All right," Logan thought. "I think I have one that she might have liked. You know 'Close to You?'"
Kendall answered by playing the opening chords of the classic love song, and Logan sang. He was a little shaky at first, but he focused on Kendall's fingers, and his voice came out smooth and strong.
"Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be close to you."
"Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be close to you."
"On the day that you were born,
The angels got together,
And decided to create a dream come true.
So, they sprinkled moondust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of green."
"That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be close to you.
Just like me, they long to be close to you."
Logan's voice came to a quiet and his heart rate was speeding up as Kendall continued to ad lib a little on the guitar.
"I think you was right," Kendall drawled softly.
"About?" Logan asked, his breath calming.
"We do have somethin' in common."
And Logan focused long and hard on Kendall's fingers as they continued to strum. He wanted to prepare himself for the flash that would surely come whenever he looked him in the eye, for he knew that this flash would be the biggest and the most telling flash yet. His eyes slowly panned up, touching and caressing every inch of Kendall's body from his fingers up his arms to his clothed chest, up to his veiny neck, tracing the outline of his pointed chin, pausing for a moment on his full lips, until they settled on the emerald green eyes that looked back at him.
"We do," Logan replied. Please tell me you feel this, too. Please tell me I'm not crazy.
"Um..." Kendall began. "You busy tonight? With your grandma, I mean."
"No," Logan answered, shaking his head. "No, I'm free. My parents have been...well, they've been good these last few days about staying at home and not making me take care of her all the time. Why?"
"I was thinkin'...maybe you'd like to go out to the Wild Cherry? It's like a lil honky-tonk type of place. They play old country music...it's nice to just sit and have a few drinks."
Logan hesitated for a moment. That wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind, but then he nodded. "Sure," he said. He'd probably never thought he'd ever find himself in a place called a honky-tonk in his whole life, but at this moment, his will rest in Kendall's hands. "Yeah."
"Good," Kendall replied. They both sorta melted into smiles, their overwhelmed feelings giving way to something more meaningful, something more hopeful. "You can come over at like eight-thirty, nine, and then we can ride over there."
Logan nodded.
"For now, though," Kendall said, "let's see what else you can sing."
Kendall and Logan arrived at The Wild Cherry at about 9:15. That was a pretty good time for the one and only bar in thirty miles. It was early enough to make a nice, long night of it, but because The Wild Cherry closed at midnight, it was late enough that most normal people weren't completely hammered by closing time.
"Whatcha shakin' for?" Kendall asked when he and Logan got out of his truck in the gravel parking lot.
"I'm a tad bit nervous," Logan admitted, and he really was. He was minutes away from walking inside a smoky barroom, and he imagined old, hairy bikers and big, dusty men with years of hard work under their belts who had no time for a scrawny little boy from the city. He just knew that this wasn't going to turn out well, but there was safety in being with Kendall. There was just this feeling that he would be in good hands tonight. And arms?
"There ain't no reason for you to be nervous, I swear," Kendall promised. "It's just the Wild Cherry. Ain't nobody in there's gonna give you a hard time if they know you're with me, okay?"
"Okay."
"And you are with me, right?"
Logan looked up at Kendall. Butterflies. "Yeah. I'm with you."
"All right, then."
Kendall pulled on the door, and they entered. Inside, The Wild Cherry was just like the typical out-of-the-way drinking establishment. There was a bar, and behind the bar, there was tons of liquor. There were pool tables and dart boards, even a few video poker machines stashed in a corner. There were small tables and chairs, and room for dancing in the center. The speakers piped out a raucous rockabilly tune, and a decent-sized group of lively Autumn dwellers was cutting a rug. There were some older couples and younger couples, and also a group of guys huddled by the pool table.
Deep down, Kendall knew it had been stupid to suggest they come here of all places. If he wanted to show this boy that he was interested, why bring him to a place where it obviously wouldn't be a good idea to show affection? Wouldn't it have made more sense to just stay at home? He was trusting his instincts, though, and whenever he'd like a girl, he'd take her out to The Wild Cherry. Boys were different from girls, though, and Logan was different from anyone he'd ever met.
"Let's go get some drinks," Kendall decided, and they started for the bar, but they were stopped on the way by a couple of the dudes who'd been huddled by the pool table.
"Hey, jackass! Thought you was 'sposed to be sick!" That was Dustin, a tall, lumpy-shaped guy with a dirty beard and a baseball cap.
"Yeah, I got better," Kendall snapped, brushing him off, but then there was another.
"Don't look sick to me, Knight! I think you was ascared of losin' all that dough you got!" That was Lance, who was short and very solidly-built.
"I was sick, you idiot, and I started feelin' better, but now I'm gonna start feelin' sick again if you keep comin' 'round me with that shitty breath of yours."
"Who's your friend?" Dustin asked, looking at the frightened Logan like he was a dog or a horse or any other animal that couldn't actually fend for itself.
"His name is Logan, and he's cooler than both of you dumbasses combined," Kendall answered, making Logan's heart tingle against its will.
"I've seen him around," Lance said, eying Logan, too, but he was just a tad bit more friendly. "You're Gary Mitchell's cousin, ain't ya?"
"Yeah," Logan answered with reservation. "How did you know that?"
"'Cause everybody knows everything here," Lance replied. "I can probably tell you a bunch of things 'bout you that you don't even know I know, but I betcha I know 'em."
"Really?" Logan asked. Now he was intrigued.
"Yep," Lance said, his once friendly eyes getting more menacing. "Including a couple things you probably think nobody in this town knows at all."
"Okay, you know what?" Kendall cut in. "Why don't you go back to your pool table, shit-mouth?"
Lance and Dustin gave Kendall a little bit more ribbing about beating him at poker, but they did as they were told and went back to the rest of their group of friends while Kendall and Logan went to the bar.
"What do you want to drink?" Kendall asked.
"Uh..." Logan thought aloud, unsure of what to say. "I guess I'll be risky and go for a Pepsi."
Kendall laughed at him at first, then when he saw that Logan was being positively serious, he tried to explain. "It's a bar. They serve alcohol. You've been to a bar before, right? I'm sure there are plenty where you're from."
"Actually...not really. I never did go out much," Logan told him. "I, uh...well, I didn't really go out at all until I started dating Eth-her. Her. Lindsey. She was the one who started taking me out, and she'd always get the drinks."
"Ah, I see." Still gonna keep that up, huh? All right. "I guess I'll just have to take her place tonight, huh? We'll see if I can do all the things she used to do."
"Yeah, we'll see."
Kendall ordered the drinks while Logan stood silent. He was uncomfortable in such a foreign environment, and now he was unsure of what Kendall's intentions were. He wanted to feel safe, and he knew that Kendall cared for him, but there was no way of telling what would happen.
"There," Kendall said, pushing Logan his cup.
"What is it?" Logan asked, cautiously glancing at the cup.
"Just drink," Kendall instructed as he took a swig from his own cup. "Did you ever ask her what she had you drinkin'?"
Logan looked at Kendall's eyes, just to make sure he could still be trusted, and he slowly brought the cup up to his mouth. He took a quick sip, and his lips immediately puckered. "It's disgusting!"
"It's whiskey!"
"Oh my God, Kendall, I can't drink that stuff!" Logan pushed the cup away, but he did it too quickly, and a little bit of it spilled on his shirt.
Kendall started chuckling. "Oh, you're a city boy, all right."
"I'm glad you think this is funny," Logan leered as he grabbed for napkins. "This is one of my favorite shirts."
"Don't worry about it. You still look good." He winked at Logan as he took another drink of whiskey, and as the liquor worked its way through his body, he knew it would help him get up the nerve to make a move.
"Let's go sit," Kendall suggested, and they went to a secluded table. "So," he began, "you still wanna get the hell out of town?"
Logan didn't answer at first, just sorta smirked as he made another attempt at the whiskey. It wasn't as bad as it was the first time, but it still burned like hell. He wanted to fit in, though, and he didn't want Kendall to think he was some kind of weakling, so he forced it down.
"It's growing on me," he finally admitted. "I mean, sometimes it gets boring at my grandmother's house, and I still get stares from people in town, and...well, to be honest, your friends kinda intimidated me just now."
"I told ya not to worry 'bout them," Kendall advised. "They think they're tough, but they ain't nothin' to worry 'bout, I promise. And all that shit Lance was talkin' about knowin' things? His girlfriend was cheatin' on him for a whole year, and everybody knew it 'cept for him, so he's dumber than dishwater."
"Wow...that's not exactly a pleasant circumstance," Logan replied. "But anyway, like I said, the town is growing on me. It really is beautiful in its own way, especially early in the morning, and...well...I think I've had some positive experiences here, too, so it's not all bad."
"Hmm," Kendall hummed, his heart beating a little faster. "What have been some of them positive experiences?"
"Well," Logan began, looking down at his drink but smiling because he could feel that all of the little hints he was dropping for Kendall were being fully received. "I think you was right. I think I might've found someone here who can make me forget all about Lindsey...and I'm willing to see where it goes. If it's going anywhere, I mean."
"Oh, I'm sure it's gonna go somewhere."
"Heh." Logan looked up, their eyes met, and there was the flash, stronger than ever.
Okay, and now what? Logan thought. Am I supposed to take his hand or something? Would someone see us? Or should I just whisper something very quickly to let him know that I'm absolutely smitten with him? What?
Just then, they were joined at their table by a girl, around the same age as the both of them, who wore short jean shorts and a tight T-shirt with her name - Tara - emblazoned across the front of it. "Kendall Knight, there you are!" she greeted in a strong, deep country voice. "I been lookin' all over for you, and you been sittin' here this whole time."
Kendall was startled by her appearance at first. "Tara," he finally greeted. "How's it goin'?"
"It's goin'," she answered with a smile.
"Logan, this is Tara," Kendall introduced. "Tara, this is Logan. He's in town for the summer."
"I know," she said, reaching out to shake Logan's hand. "You're Gary's cousin, ain't ya?"
"Umm...yeah," Logan answered. "I guess news travels fast here. It's nice to meet you."
"Same to you, cutie."
"Tara's a friend," Kendall quickly explained, knowing exactly what it looked like for this trashy, but attractive, girl to suddenly approach him. "We went all through school together, and now she answers phones at the mill."
"A 'friend,' Kendall Knight?" Tara asked incredulously. "Now, you know I've tried to make it more than that."
"Ha ha ha," Kendall carefully let out. "Now, you and me both know that nothin' has ever happened 'tween the two of us and nothin' ever will."
"Yeah, but you can't blame a girl for tryin', right?" She leaned over and faux-whispered to Logan. "He's a tease, through-and-through."
Kendall sorta rolled his eyes in a joking manner, but deep down, he hoped she'd say whatever she wanted to say and then go about her business. The last thing he needed was for Logan to think that there something going on between her and himself.
"I actually came over to see if I could get you to dance," Tara said to him, pulling at his hand. "It's been a while since we've shared a little time on the floor."
"Ha ha," Kendall let out again. It was his nervous habit to laugh very dryly. "Um, me and Logan here was just havin' us a lil conversation, and you kinda dropped in on the middle of it."
"No, it's okay," Logan insisted. "Uh...you guys should dance."
"Yes," Tara said, "we guys should dance." She pulled hard on Kendall's hand, and though he tried to protest again, he eventually gave in.
"I'll be right back," he told Logan as he downed the rest of his whiskey. "Don'tcha worry."
Logan just nodded as Tara led Kendall to the dance floor. A slow, romantic country ballad began to play, and the floor was filled with couples. Kendall and Tara fit right in amongst the cowboy boots, blue jeans, and ten-gallon hats, and an overwhelming feeling of not belonging fell on Logan. Though he could believe that Kendall and Tara were nothing more than just friends, he couldn't help but feel as if this world - Kendall's world - was not his, that it belonged to the two of them, and that he would never fit in. He'd already ventured out of his comfort zone in order to be with Ethan, and that hadn't turned out too well, and he wondered if it was worth a shot to see where this whole thing was going with Kendall.
The song went on and on, and even though Kendall was generous enough to let Tara rest her head on his shoulder as they slowly danced, his eyes and mind were trained solely on the raven-haired young man sitting in the corner. He hoped Logan wasn't having the wrong idea about all of this, and he knew that he could no longer afford to wait around for Logan to make the first move. As soon as the song was over, he was going to take his new friend away from this place, bring him somewhere where they could be alone, and tell him how he really felt. Don't give up on me just yet, he tried to telegraph to Logan. Give me just a lil bit more time.
Logan sat quietly and tried the whiskey again. It was getting better, but he still couldn't see himself finishing the cup. He examined his drying shirt, resenting the fact that the alcohol smell would probably stay on it for a while. As he lamented his ruined shirt, though, he felt a growing presence behind him, and he started to shake.
"You must be new to town," a voice said behind him. He turned around, and there was a large, hulking man of about fifty years standing over him. "You don't know all the rules yet."
"Excuse me?" Logan asked.
"You don't know the rules yet. You're new to town, so you gotta be initiated."
"Uh..."
"Give me all your money."
Logan hesitated. Was this some kind of joke? The guy wore a worn out jumpsuit, and his face was obscured by a jungle of facial hair. "I don't have anything," Logan said, and he quickly tried to make an escape, but the hulking man backed him up into a corner. "Please leave me alone!"
"You're new to town, so you gotta learn the rules," the man taunted in a deep, terrifying voice. He spat when he talked, and he emitted a nauseating odor of beer and cigarettes. "Rule number one is that Billy Joe always gets what Billy Joe wants. And guess what. I'm Billy Joe."
There was a cold emptiness behind Billy Joe's icy blue eyes, and it frightened Logan. It was like staring into the eyes of a rabid animal, and he began to panic. He dug through his pockets, searching for anything to appease him, but he had nothing. His wallet was in his back pocket, but he couldn't hand that over. It had only ten bucks cash in it, but his license, his debit card, his Social Security card...those were things he wasn't willing to give to this maniacal brute.
"I don't have anything, I told you!"
"I think you do!" Billy demanded violently, and he tossed Logan around and went for the wallet, but just as he was about to grab it, Kendall and Tara appeared, and the monster was tossed against the wall himself.
"What are you doing, huh? Get the fuck back!" Kendall seethed at Billy Joe. Tara kept her distance, but everyone else in the bar was now focusing on the confrontation. "Start shit with me, bitch!"
"You fuckin' stay out of this, Knight," Billy grumbled, feeling an ache in his back already. "This ain't got nothin' to do with you."
"Like hell it ain't, fucker!" Kendall snapped. "Come on! I said start some shit with me!"
"Don't-," Logan wheezed weakly, holding on to his knotted stomach. A rumble from the crowd undermined his feeble request, though, as they all yelled for Kendall to kick this guy's ass. Kendall looked at Logan, though, and making sure he was okay became his main concern.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said dismissively of the older man who wasn't acting so tough anymore, and he stepped to Logan, reaching out to give him support, but Logan pulled away, his eyes distracted by something just beyond Kendall. He tried to voice a warning, but it wouldn't have come soon enough.
"Kendall, look out!" Tara cried out, but it was too late.
Billy Joe had come with friends, and they were ready for a fight.
"Hold still," Logan instructed carefully as he held an alcohol-drenched tissue up to Kendall's forehead. He slowly pressed the tissue onto a small cut, and he could feel Kendall flinch under the pressure. "I know," he soothed, taking the tissue away.
They stood in the small space of Kendall's bathroom. After the one-against-three barroom brawl (in which Kendall had successfully taken down two of his opponents - the third had gotten lucky), Logan had driven them back to the dark, lonely trailer, and now he was tending to Kendall's battle wounds. He wasn't torn up to the point of needing the emergency room, but he had a few new scars.
Logan placed an adhesive bandage on Kendall's forehead. He then went to tend to a cut right under his left ear. He felt a million and one things about what had gone on at the bar. Part of him hated the fact that Kendall had gotten into such a big fight; but then, part of him secretly appreciated that the fight was because of him. He was starting to realize that wanting this boy was going to take much more out of him than he'd ever anticipated, but still, he wanted Kendall more and more.
"We never shoulda went to that damn hell hole," Kendall huffed and puffed. The fire in his body from the fight was just starting to quell, but he still heaved out all of his words and breaths. "It's full of nobody but losers and assholes. I'm sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Logan said impersonally. Fortunately, he was trained in how to shut off his own feelings while tending to a patient, but he knew he was only fooling himself to believe that he was a doctor, Kendall was his patient, and this bathroom was an examination room.
"I said you was gonna be okay as long as you was with me, and I meant it. Not just at the Wild Cherry, but in this whole town."
Logan just nodded. Yes, I know. I was with you, and I am still with you, but what does it mean? The more Kendall spoke, the harder it was for him to pretend like he didn't care.
"I shoulda never left you by yourself," Kendall continued. "I shoulda told Tara to go fuck herself. She's always tryin' to make things out to be bigger than what they are. I'm gonna tell her 'bout herself next time I see her."
"It's not her fault," Logan said as he dabbed a little of the alcohol under Kendall's ear.
"You're better than anybody in this whole damn town," Kendall said steadfastly. His blood flowed through his body like the mighty Mississippi, and the muscles in his arm were flexed without his intent. Logan pressed some more alcohol under his ear, and it made him cower again, and Logan instinctively placed a comforting hand on his hip. He looked up at Kendall, and their eyes connected.
"We're the same," Kendall said in near whisper. "We're the same."
Logan tore his gaze away from Kendall's, but Kendall's hot green eyes stayed on him as he placed a bandage on the cut under his ear then stepped back, as much as he could in the tiny bathroom. "You probably have bruises...under your shirt," he stammered. His eyes met with Kendall's again, and Kendall slowly pulled his blood-splotched T-shirt off to reveal several small bruises across his chest and abs.
Logan stood silently, his eyes slowly working their way over Kendall's bare torso. He should have had gloves, and he should have been pressing and poking in a cold, unfeeling way, but all he wanted to do was touch Kendall's body, feel the warmth of his skin as it met up with his, and make him feel better.
Kendall looked at him, the expression of longing on his face, and he simply followed his instincts. He reached out, taking Logan's hand in his, and he brought it to his chest, guiding it as it rubbed every inch of him, from his collarbone down to his nipples, across the rugged pectorals and down to his abs. The whole time, his eyes stayed on Logan, who tried to look away but couldn't.
And then, Kendall did it. He leaned down a bit, and he pressed his mouth against Logan's. Logan wasn't ready for it, and it didn't feel right at first, but then Kendall forced his tongue between Logan's lips, and Logan softened up, allowing it to happen. He loosened the stiffness in his body, and he fell against Kendall's, falling deeper into the kiss and letting his hands tenderly take hold of Kendall's bruised body. Kendall rest his hands on Logan's waist, and as their bodies were fully connected, a flash passed through the both of them at the same time, making them both lose control.
"Kiss me," Logan gasped when their mouths parted. "Kiss me again."
NOTE: Took me FOREVER to write everything from Tara's appearance through to the end. I wasn't completely sure of what I wanted to happen there or how I wanted to write it (and it seems like your characters always let you know when you're not doing them justice). Like I said up above, I'm still very iffy on how it turned out, but I hope you guys like it! If you have pointers on how the story can improve, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Thanks!