A/N: All right, everyone! I'm back! With an extremely short chapter, but I'm back nonetheless! Yes, the same-old/same-old about how much school sucks and the semester was hard. I'm sorry for disappearing for so long, but I had to focus! This is a short chapter because I was eager to post something, anything, to show you all that the story is back. More will come soon, so please please please, don't give up on me! These characters forced me to devote more attention to them, so there is much, much more in store for them! Thanks to everyone who has read and supported the story!

EXPRESSING MY LOVE

- 8 -

Just Friends (For Now)

Logan ate quietly in a corner of the eatery. He'd learned from his time so far in Autumn that the best way to stay out of trouble was to deflect all attention from one's self. He slowly chewed on his tiny breakfast of one scrambled egg, half a toast, and two strips of bacon and just as slowly took sips from his apple juice. Quiet...slow...still...and then maybe none of the big, hulking monsters who chortled and told inappropriate jokes in loud voices would pick on him. Though it was Kendall who'd gotten the brunt of Billy Bob's senseless wrath at the Wild Cherry, Logan was still skittish.

He hadn't planned on going out for breakfast Monday morning, but his parents had insisted upon it, and also...well, he thought maybe there'd be a chance...

It's a possibility, right? He could show up on his way to work, right?

But as the clock ticked closer and closer to eight-thirty and all of the dining industry men cleared out on their way to a hard day's work, it seemed less likely that a chance encounter between Logan and Kendall would happen on this day at this time.

The immature assumption that Kendall was avoiding him - It's what straight guys do. - still lingered on in Logan's mind, but a good night's sleep had grounded him and given him a fresher outlook. They'd parted as friends. Kendall wanted to take things slowly. All of this was new to him. He'd been as upfront as he could be, and Logan knew he should have been thankful for that much. He was still nervous, though. Nervous and just a little bit scared.

"More juice, sweetie?" Hazel asked as she juggled dirty plates and pitchers in her hands.

"Oh, no, no," Logan refused, not wanting to hassle her, but she was already freshening his glass.

"Not to be a cow or anything," she said, "but you remembered to bring cash with you this time, right?"

"Yes," Logan nodded, smiling. "Yes, I did make a big withdrawal, just in case."

"Good," she replied approvingly. "I mean, I don't think it would be as bad as you havin' to wash dishes or somethin' like that, but it's best not to get ol' Fred all triggered up this early in the mornin'."

Logan nodded again, definitely not wanting to get anybody "triggered up."

Hazel tended to the dirty dishes while Logan finished up. He was all prepared to pay and head back to his grandmother's house for a day of boredom and silent agony over his oh-so-tender feelings, but when Hazel returned, she took a seat at his table, sending a very creepy feeling down the back of his spine.

"I hear you and Kendall have gotten to be pals, huh?" she asked. The diner was near empty now, just Logan at his table and a single mother with a baby in a booth on the other side.

"Um..." Logan replied, startled by such a random question.

"Well, I heard from Gladys Hoffman that you was over there at his house on Saturday and then yall went on to the Wild Cherry later on that night. You know Gladys, right? She's your grandma's friend."

Logan's eyebrows were furrowed. Yeah, he knew Gladys - he'd shuttled her back and forth from his grandma's house too many times to count - but he was wondering how all of this information had gotten back to the waitress in the diner and why it was at all any of her business.

"I know Gladys," he said cautiously. The concept of privacy was clearly unheard of in Autumn. "And yeah...uh...Kendall's a good guy."

"Yep, he is a good guy," Hazel agreed. She spoke not with a judgmental tone but one that was sorta observational, as if she was watching or waiting for Logan to react in a certain way to her words. "He's gone through a whole lot already," she then said, once again with an expectant tint in her voice.

"Yes. Ahem. He's told me a little bit about it."

"He had a rough go of things when he was growin' up. Daddy always hittin' on him, his Mama not really strong enough to do anything about it. And then his Mama died...Daddy left...the little girl he was runnin' 'round with, she left, too. Everything happened in the blink of an eye, and he didn't wanna let anybody in. Nobody."

A cloak of discomfort fell hard upon Logan, and he could feel his stomach start to knot up and the breakfast he'd just eaten start to churn. Yes, he knew of Kendall's tragic family history, but being reminded of it now, especially after the closeness he and Kendall had experienced over the weekend...it made him feel just a little bit sleazy, as if he'd been taking advantage of a broken man who had not the emotional strength or will to make his own choices.

Who's this girl he was runnin' 'round with? he wondered. How much "running" did they do?

"He...ahem...he seems to be fine now," he said hoarsely, hoping to turn the tide on the conversation.

Hazel could tell that she was scaring him a little, and she determined that Logan had passed her test. This one could be trusted. He is Clara Mitchell's grandson, for cryin' out loud.

"He is," she agreed with Logan. She smiled warmly, instantly changing tone. "And I'm glad to see he's stretchin' out his circle of friends. Some of the fellas 'round here...well, let's just say that their eggs ain't fully hatched yet."

Logan giggled, and the tension that had been in him subsided. "I've met a few of them, and...well, I don't like to judge."

"No, it's fine! I ain't no Judge Judy, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em, and Autumn ain't known for its geniuses. Except for you, of course."

"Me?"

"Yeah," she nodded, her eyes twinkling at Logan's. "I heard some things 'bout you. I heard 'bout how you're plannin' to be a big doctor in the city. You're grandma's very proud of you, you know. Just make sure you don't forget where you came from. You might be from the city, but your daddy was born and raised here, so that makes you a true blue Autumn boy."

Logan didn't respond, just meditated on her implication. The realization was quite surreal, to say the least. He was indeed an Autumn boy. For better or for worse.

"Just own it," Hazel playfully teased as she got up to go back to her duties. "You're a good ol' Autumn boy. Just like Kendall Knight."

There was an excitement stretching out to all of the extremities of Kendall's body when he got home that evening. All day long, he'd been in the dopiest of dopey moods. He'd gotten up early and rubbed one out in the shower, thinking of Logan the entire time. Them lips...so soft. He'd eaten a small breakfast (not too much, for he wouldn't want to disappoint Logan), and he'd even had a little time to sit and watch TV. By the time he'd gotten to work, his good mood was solidified, and nothing could ruin it.

I got me a boy, he kept thinking to himself. Even his bosses and the other douches at the mill couldn't get under his skin. I got me a boy, and we're gonna be together. So what if he'd said that all he wanted was Logan's "friendship?" Logan was smart. He was going to be a doctor, for goodness's sake. He didn't need a house to fall on him to realize that Kendall was hoping for more than just a friendship. Soon, though, if things worked out, that friendship would become more all on its own.

Upon arriving home, he flung open his front door, almost as if he was expecting Logan to be sitting there, waiting for him, as if they were already a long-standing couple with a normal routine. Dinner was supposed to be cooking on the stove, and Logan was supposed to be reading the newspaper or studying his medical school notes. They were supposed to greet each other with a big, wet kiss and maybe a little more if they could get it started and finished before dinner burned. And then they'd talk...just talk...and be there for one another.

Chill the fuck out, kiddo, Kendall told himself when he remembered that they weren't quite there yet.

He wanted to see Logan, definitely, and he kicked himself for wasting Sunday on the same old boring routine. He could have easily told Hazel he "couldn't make it" for dinner and had Logan over. It was all right, though. There'd be time to make up for it. He stood at the genesis of a summer of opportunities, and he intended to take as many as he could.

He anxiously pulled out his phone, but just then, the realization sunk in that he and Logan hadn't even exchanged phone numbers yet. How exactly was this supposed to work if they couldn't even call or text each other?

He's got that Ethan fella's number, though.

But of course, this was Autumn, Kansas. Cell phones were only just starting to make their way into daily life in Autumn, and it wouldn't take Kendall but a minute to pull out the phone directory and look up Logan's grandmother's number.

He sat on the sofa, finger shakily held on the listing for Clara Mitchell, 105 Sandalwood Lane. With his other hand, just as shaky, he prepared to dial, but...what if Logan wasn't the one who answered the phone? What if one of his parents did? What would he say to them? "Hi, is your son home? He kinda gets my motor runnin', and-" Did his parents even know that he was gay?

Just. Relax.

He dialed, and then he listened as the phone rang. Little by little, his heartbeat lined up with the rhythm of the ringing, producing a nerve-wracking suspense that would have eaten him alive if not for the welcome sound of the voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"It's you!" Kendall sighed, releasing all of his tension but being careful not to sound too excited. Play it cool, take it slow.

"Hey," Logan replied, he himself trying to stay cool.

"You know who this is, right?"

"Yeah, I know who this is," Logan answered cutely. "I'm startin' to learn your voice."

There was a silence. Not an awkward one, but one that was made up of both boys' pure awe of each other and anticipation of what the other would say.

"I...uh...I been meanin' to get in touch with you since Saturday night," Kendall finally said, his voice suddenly taking on a serious tone. Did he want to get in touch with Logan to share more bonding and closeness...or to go over a business transaction?

Logan smiled a cute little closed-mouth smile to himself as he sat alone in front of the TV in his grandmother's living room. Somehow, all of his fear and doubt about what Kendall's true motives were seemed to just disappear upon hearing the shaky

sound of the country boy's voice. Once again, Logan felt comfortable.

"I stopped by your place yesterday," he said, "but you weren't there, so I kinda...I guess I just figured you-"

"I was at Hazel's," Kendall quickly explained.

Logan nodded. "The waitress."

"Yeah. She...she was one of my mama's friends for a long, long time, and...after everything happened, she kinda took over for me."

Logan nodded again, understanding but not really knowing what to say. Another silence followed.

"I been thinkin' 'bout what I said Saturday night," Kendall once again broke the silence. "And I meant what I said. About seein' you again, I mean. I want to."

"I want to see you, too," Logan agreed.

"Well..."

"Well..."

And suddenly, Kendall felt extremely silly. Why were they acting like two lost sheep who didn't know what to do? Why was he acting like a child? He knew what he wanted, and he knew how to get it.

"Then, why don't you get yourself over here?" he loosely insisted to Logan, who kinda giggled at the sound of Kendall's strengthening resolve.

"I'd love to," Logan replied. "But I can't."

"Why not?"

"I have to stay with my grandmother while my parents are out of town over night."

"Oh." Kendall groaned a little, the wind being taken out of his sails.

"How about tomorrow?" Logan asked. "I can come over tomorrow after you get off from work, and I don't know...we can watch a movie or something? That's something friends do, right?"

"Haha," Kendall chuckled. "Yeah, friends can do that." But then he remembered. "Ugh. Shit. I can't tomorrow. I took on some extra hours for a friend at the mill, so I won't be gettin' off 'til real late. Same on Wednesday."

"Oh," Logan sighed. He didn't want to sound unappreciative of the fact that Kendall had to work for a living, but damn...how was this supposed to work if they couldn't even coordinate a date? Or get-together. Or meeting between friends. Whatever the hell it was.

"Wait a minute," Kendall suddenly exclaimed. "Duh!"

"What?"

"Thursday! I'm off all day Thursday. Can you get out of the house?"

"Sure, I could. I'll have to tell my parents tomorrow so that they don't make any plans, but they shouldn't have any problem with it."

"Good."

"What movie do you want to watch?" Logan asked. "I brought a good bit of DVDs from home, so I'm sure I have something you'd like."

"Uh..."

"You know what I meant."

"Yeah," Kendall blushed. "I'm...uh...sure you do have something I'd like. But you know...I kinda have an idea coming together in my head, something I think you'd like."

"And what's that?"

"Oh, I don't spoil surprises," Kendall teased. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Ah, so you're one of those types of guys, huh?" Logan said. "That's fine. Surprise me. But I'll let you know that I have a very perceptive mind."

"A what? What does that even mean?"

"It means I'm good at figuring things out! And I'll figure out what your little surprise is, too!"

"Oh...well, we'll see about that!"

They hung up, and just like that, all of the excitement that had been pulsing through Kendall's body all day was back, and he was as kinetic as ever. He hopped up from the sofa, grabbed his guitar, and retrieved a raggedy old notebook that had been sitting on the very top of the refrigerator under a potted plant. There were so many hopeful feelings running through him at this moment, and he desperately needed to do something with them.

Meanwhile, Logan very lazily hung the phone up on his end, his eyes never leaving the TV screen or the darkening sky it reflected. His hopes were getting up...he was allowing himself to be swept off of his feet by this boy. But this wasn't the first time, and the ugliness of the last time had never been completely washed away. Its grime still stuck in the corners of his memory, and, so, while he felt his heart flutter at the thought of Kendall's surprise and his feelings tingle at the thought of spending a day with Kendall and his private parts stiffen at the thought of kissing Kendall again...he also felt his guard priming itself to rise the second he needed it to.