Chapter 4

The journey back to the Jolly Roger had been made in near-silence, Henry sniffling occasionally or Emma failing to swallow a sob. After they had left the now uninhabited house, Killian had tried to take her hand, but she had refused, her fingers curling into a tight fist instead of letting him lace his fingers between hers and now Killian was walking ahead of them, his shoulders stiff and head bowed, the way it had been before he saw that she was alive.

And Emma knew it wasn't fair, that it was only Regina's fault, but every time she thought of Pinocchio's death, there were so many what if's. The only ones she could even start to dwell on was the what if Killian had stayed with her, or returned on time.

If he hadn't failed her.

But as angry as she was, as furious as each new thought made her, he was still here and still trying.

Pinocchio wasn't. The life that had been given to him, for being brave, selfless and true, had been ripped from him, taken by a rope in a grotesque semblance of the strings used to manipulate a puppet, once again subject to the will of his kingdom.

And then the three of them all stood awkwardly in the short corridor below deck, the unrestrained sounds of sailors merrily carousing in nearby taverns disturbing the silence, totally at odds with the torment she was feeling.

After a few moments, trying to figure out what she wanted to do, wanting to do something, she kissed Henry on the forehead and sent him off to his room before retreating to her own, Killian following her.

"Emma?" he asked quietly, but Emma refused to turn around and look at him. "Do you want to talk to me? Do you need anything?"

His concern only made things worse and she spun round, reaching over his shoulder to slam the door behind them, Killian's eyes widening. "Yes, Hook, I do want to talk." she hissed, his jaw clenching when she used the moniker that she hadn't used since they left for Oz. "This is your fault."

"What?" he asked, tilting his head and staring at her, hurt clear in his eyes. "My fault?"

"I never even wanted to get married anyway." she started, ignoring the way he frowned in confusion. "Ever. I've always been happy by myself. But if you'd just come back, like you'd promised, I would never have agreed to marry Graham. And my parents would have accepted that. But you didn't come, because you were too afraid, and I said yes and I gave Regina the chance she needed to hurt my mother, and make her hurt others and kill Pinocchio."

He reached towards her, and she knew she was getting louder - surely, the crew could hear her words - but she couldn't care right now. She could only see the abandoned house, the wooden figurines destroyed and thrown across the floor. "Why couldn't you just come back? Why did you even have to leave? I don't care that you're a pirate, or that you have one hand, or that you crushed Zelena's heart. I never did."

She was aware that she wasn't talking about Pinocchio anymore, that now she was dealing with thoughts she had determinedly ignored when Killian was away, when she had chosen to believe in him. "All I cared about was that you would be the person to stay with me and you should have known that. Because I told you that, before you loved me, before we left the Jolly Roger. But you did it anyway, and you may have disguised it by saying you wanted to be better and that you would come back, but you still left and when everything fell apart and I had to agree to marry someone else, because people were dying, and my mother lost her heart, you weren't there. And you should have been. But you chose to leave. And because I loved you, I let you go. Because that was what you wanted. What you said you needed. But when I needed you, you weren't there."

She took in a deep, shaky breath and turned away, not wanting to look at Killian when he was looking so destroyed. Because of her.

"I just, I hate all of this!" she snarled, slamming her hand angrily against the wooden frame of their bed. "Why does nothing go right? Why is it always up to me to fix things? I didn't want this. I wanted to spend some time with Henry, but instead I just got politics and this and I wish it would just stop. All of it."

"I'm sorry." Killian said quietly behind her, his voice sounding flat. "I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I couldn't be the man that I should have been and I'm sorry you lost so much because of it."

It felt worse to have him accept everything she was saying, to apologise for it. She wanted him to fight back, to rail against her and say things he didn't mean and give her something to rage against so she could turn her sadness into anything else. Something she was more equipped to deal with.

"I'll find a bed with the crew tonight, love." he muttered, and she heard him turn around, turn to leave her. "You should get some rest. If you can."

She didn't know what she wanted, but him leaving the room wasn't it. When she heard the creak of the wooden door opening, she spun to catch his sleeve, to stop him leaving. "Killian," she breathed, her grip on him growing tighter when he didn't step closer. "Please."

"What?"

The resignation in his voice was terrible, and Emma trembled at the thought that he might be thinking she was only keeping him back so she could hurt him more, take all of her anger out on him. "I'm sorry. Don't go." She ran her free hand across her face, exhausted. "I need you now. You can't leave. Please. Not this time."

She stepped back to take a seat on the edge of the bed, her hand sliding from his sleeve to his hand, pulling him towards her. He was staring, even as he sat in the empty space beside her. "What do you want from me, Emma?"

"Just be here." she whispered, twisting so she could start to undress him, ignoring the way his breath hitched as she tugged his shirt free from his trousers, throwing it off to the side and then busying herself with the brace that held his hook, fumbling with it in an attempt to take that off too, her fingers trembling, but then his hand was warm around hers and he was taking care of her instead.

When he had her dressed in his shirt, he placed her under the covers and finished changing before sliding into the bed beside her, his arm held out in invitation. Emma slid under it to lie against him, her palm flat against his beating heart, his hand playing with the ends of her hair and he angled his head down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"He was my oldest friend." she whispered, a few tears escaping her when she shut her eyes. "He was the only friend who lived nearby, and even though he was older than me, he would come to the palace sometimes and we'd play hide and seek or pretend we were fairies or animals or something ridiculous like that. And when I was pregnant with Henry, he didn't judge me, he just told me it would all be okay and he built me a crib and he made Henry toys. And now he's gone."

Her barely held composure fell apart at the last word, and she turned towards Killian, resting her head against his chest, sobbing into him. He held her close, his hand cupping the back of her head as he murmured soothing words to her and kissed her hair again, embraced her until she stopped crying.

She wept onto his chest until she had no more tears to give, and then she pulled away and moved to the other side of the bed, turning so her back was towards him. "I'm still angry, Killian." she whispered, feeling the mattress move slightly when he rolled a few inches towards her, trying to hear her better. "But I know I shouldn't blame you. Not for Pinocchio. But if I talk right now, I know I'll say something that will hurt you and I don't want to do that."

For a moment, he didn't say or do anything, and then she felt him shift again, his chest firm against her back as his arms wrapped around her waist. "That's alright, sweetheart." he replied, a gentle kiss placed on the base of her neck. "As long as you're here with me, I'll take the silence any day."

How could he be like this after what she had said to him?

She tried to sleep, but she was too distracted by the way Killian kept nuzzling into her hair and the memory of her final words to Pinocchio, promising to visit him when she finally got home. And now she would never visit him again.

And then when she finally yawned and felt her eyelids grow heavy, there was a quiet knock on the bedroom door and then it opened to show Henry, his eyes red-rimmed and his cheeks tear-stained, the unfinished ship held in his hands.

Emma felt terrible, her son's own grief something she should have noticed and helped him through instead of dwelling on her own thoughts, because Henry had lost a friend too. She shouldn't have let him go, alone, to the Captain's cabin. She should have gone with him.

She looked at Henry, noticing the way he took a small step into the room, the way his finger was tapping anxiously against the wood of his toy, and she tried to sit up, Killian's arms tightening around her.

"Lad?" Killian started, gently tugging Emma closer to his side of the bed so there was an empty space beside her. "There's enough space for you too. If that's alright?" Emma twisted in his arms to stare at him in shock, not expecting him to offer such a thing, but he seemed to take her look as disapproval, releasing her from his embrace. "Except, you probably don't want that. How about you get in here with your mother and I'll take your bed tonight?"

Before Killian could get out of the bed, Henry shook his head and darted across the room to lay at his mother's side, the unfinished toy left on top of the small wooden set of drawers. "I don't mind if you're here too." Her son said quietly, watching Killian settle back down into the mattress. "Mom might need you."

"I'm fine." she said pointedly, before Killian could get too comfortable. The sight of Henry's tear stained face had made her guilt and anger rise back to the surface and she felt she needed to devote her time to Henry, refusing to admit the truth in her son's last sentence. "You should go. Sleep in the captain's cabin."

For a minute, he looked at her and at Henry, and she thought she saw some longing in his eyes, but then he pushed himself out of the bed and strode out the room, grabbing the wooden ship from the drawers on his way out, the door shutting with a loud slam and causing Emma to flinch in surprise.

"Why couldn't he stay?" Henry whispered quietly, one of his hands grabbing her sleeve. "Isn't he family now? You said that when he came back, he would be family."

"Our family doesn't give up." she said, aware that she sounded bitter and upset but the words fell from her mouth anyway. "He did. He's not family, Henry."

"I don't understand." he mumbled, letting Emma jostle him until her arm was wrapped around him, holding him to her side, his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, kid." she told him, watching him yawn. "You should never have had to deal with any of this, and when you did have to, I said the wrong things and I left you alone and I'm sorry." Henry said nothing, just gazed up at her. She smiled shakily down at him and then pulled him even closer. "Sleep well, Henry." she muttered. "I promise to protect you from the nightmares."

David used to say that to Henry, when he was younger and had dreams about monsters under his bed or in his closet, lighting a candle if the nightmares refused to go away, but David didn't say things like that anymore. Not to his grandson.

"And Grandpa and Killian will protect you?" Henry asked, his words slurred with sleep.

She didn't answer.

She didn't really sleep either.

Emma had waited for Henry to wake up before venturing with him to the galley, accepting a bowl of thick porridge, a swirl of Juke's homemade jam on top, from the chef himself. Henry was given one too, the jam displaying a crude drawing of a ship, and then Jukes began to tell him stories of Lost Boys and mermaids and Henry was utterly absorbed in the man's words.

With her food finished, she left Henry to be entertained and made her way to the captain's cabin, hearing Killian and her father discussing something inside. She opened the door, but the two of them seemed oblivious to her entry and she took a moment to observe their interactions.

Killian looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, and when Emma looked around the room, she noticed the bed looked unslept in.

And beside him on the table was the toy ship, now finished, albeit crudely.

Emma remembered, months before, how he told her he had never slept in the captain's cabin - in Liam's cabin - and last night, she had sent him there without any thought at all.

And he hadn't slept. He'd sat up all night to finish Henry's toy.

The tears that had been on the brink of falling since her son fell asleep, when she felt alone even with her son clinging onto her, when she had regretted sending Killian away, threatened to finally escape, so Emma inhaled deeply and tried to focus on something else. Something that wasn't the toy that had been made by Pinocchio and her thoughtful pirate.

Something like the map of realm laid out before Killian, her father muttering to him as he drew rough sketches of their palace, appearing to be marking every possible entrance onto the diagram.

She felt better than she had the night before, and seeing David and Killian's determination relaxed her. If both of them were resolved to stop the Evil Queen, Emma was certain they would manage it, and the sooner they did that, the greater the chance that fewer good people would die.

She stood in the doorway, watching the two men actually getting along until they noticed her. David smiled at her, sympathy evident in his expression, his own eyes dulled. Killian, however, beamed at her, gesturing down at the drawings in front of him. "We're fixing everything." he stated, and of course that's what they were doing. "We're going to go and talk to the Queen's ambassador."

"To Graham?" she repeated, glancing down when she felt a small hand slip into hers, Henry beside her. "To do what?"

"He warned you, didn't he?" David asked, waving at Henry in greeting. "He tried to warn you. He might want to help. He has helped our family before. He might be able to tell us more of what Regina wants, why she's going to such lengths to destroy Snow."

"Besides, he's definitely involved." Killian informed her. "The rumours around the realm, of your deaths, were said to be because of civil unrest. I heard that your mother would be remaining in control of the Kingdom, despite her losses, with the Evil Queen's ambassador as her new advisor. And I'm certain, now I know what happened to you, that those rumours were from Regina herself. If so, she was manipulating Graham into a position of power."

"So you're thinking he knows more than what he told me before our wedding?" she asked, crossing over to his side to look down at the diagrams of her home. "And you truly think he will help us?"

"I believe I can make him help us." Killian said, his tone dark, stubborn. "Admittedly I had intended to speak with him even before I learnt how false the rumours were. With his new position, I had to admit I was doubtful your passing had occurred the way the rumours insisted. I came back to speak to him so I could know the truth."

It hurt that he had come back for Graham, and not because he had even a shred of hope that she was alive and waiting for him, but she was grateful he had found something to come back for, something that had led him to her.

"I'm going with you." Emma stated, angling her head to look at Killian, her finger running gently across the thick black lines he had drawn, the way into her old home. "I want to know why he befriended me if he knew the plan the whole time."

"Your father and I thought it would be best if I went alone." Killian protested, sharing a look with David as if he had known she would ask to accompany him. "I'm not at as much risk if I'm found in the palace. I'm not the one that Regina's desperate to kill, and if I am caught, I'm sure I can bluff my way out of the guards' hold."

"What would you say?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow at his certainty. "You got lost?"

"The Evil Queen and I have a history, Emma. I've told you this." Killian muttered, shame written on his face when David's amicable expression changed to a concerned, angry glare. "I've worked with her before. I might be able to convince her that I will work with her again."

"You've worked with Regina?" David asked, Henry echoing his question. "And, Emma, you knew this? And you still trust him?"

Emma ignored her father, keeping her gaze firmly on Killian. "No. You're not going by yourself. I know the palace, I know Graham, at least I think I do, and I'm not willing to risk losing you just so you can ask some questions that we aren't even sure you'll get answers to."

Killian gaze softened at her words, but he shook his head. "No. If that's your reason for going, then your father can accompany me. You should stay here, where it's safe. With Henry."

"I won't let him get hurt, Emma." David admitted grudgingly, but Emma just sighed angrily. She knew Killian wanted her to be safe, he always had, but he'd never actively tried to stop her from doing something before. Instead, he had been by her side, the two of them looking after each other.

"I'm going." Emma said firmly. "Dad, I can't lose you too."

Killian bit his lip, but Emma's words seemed to have convinced him and he nodded. "I'll give you a sword and we'll sneak in together, once it's dark. We'll find Graham, ask him some questions, and we'll be back on board the ship before sunrise."

"Mom, do you have to go?" Henry's voice was quiet, her son still standing at her side, hand still in hers. "He might hurt you again."

"Again?" Killian and her father asked in unison. David looked furious, his expression matching Killian's.

"He was in charge of killing us, remember?" she said breezily, shivering at the memory of Graham lunging at her. "But my hero, Henry, saved me."

"Good job, lad." Killian said, his voice shaking. "But don't worry about him hurting her. He'll be dead before he gets a chance to even touch her."

"Dead?" Henry squeaked, and Emma reached out to hit the pirate's arm with slightly more than a playful force. "You're going to kill him?"

"It's not part of the plan." Emma promised, eyebrows furrowing as she gazed up at Killian. "We won't be killing anyone. Not unless we absolutely have to."

Killian shrugged in response. "Your mother won't be harmed by anyone." he said, and Emma's scowl deepened when he made no move to reassure her son that no one would be killed. "I won't allow it."

She was sitting in the palace courtyard when she heard him approach, his footsteps deliberately loud, so as not to surprise her.

She hadn't seen Graham since he told her he couldn't feel anything, and he was looking surprisingly awkward, twisting his hands together. "I was glad to hear you had returned." he told her, taking a seat beside her on the stone bench. "Despite knowing it was rather presumptuous of me, I have to admit I thought you had left because of what I said to you."

Emma remembered how it had hurt, confirmed her belief that no one could love her, but she didn't feel that anymore. She could only be thankful for that conversation, the one that had sent her running into the West Wing and to the music box.

And she knew, now, that she had just needed to meet the right person.

"I didn't, so don't feel guilty anymore." she reassured him, and his expression softened into a warm smile. "I hadn't expected to see you. I assumed you would have left after our engagement amounted to nothing."

"I remained as an ambassador." he explained, looking away from her to stare up at the stars. "I want peace, even if it is something I have to fight for. I am glad I stayed though, as it meant I got to see you again. I did want to apologise for what I said, but I didn't get the chance."

"Well, I'm accepting your apology now." She grinned at him, noticing how he looked older, his face lined, a few more grey hairs. "But you really didn't need to say anything. I needed to leave the palace, and I'm glad I did. And it really did have nothing to do with what you said. I'm a big girl, Graham, and I could deal with that."

"Glad you did?" he repeated, before shooting her a knowing look. "Because of Henry? The whole palace is talking about him, the mysterious boy you brought back with you. I've heard that you're claiming he's your son."

"And you think that's insane, do you?" she bit out, irritated by the change in topic. "Because surely the kingdom would remember the princess having an illegitimate child a decade ago?"

"I don't know what to believe about his lineage." Graham acknowledged, but then he was gazing at her with the same appreciative look from their day at the archery range. "But I know from experience what matters isn't who gave birth to you, but who raises you, who chooses to love you. And if you love Henry like a son, then that's all that matters. I think it's admirable that you've brought him back with you and chosen to care for him, when you had to know how people would respond to his presence."

Emma looked at him in surprise, having never expected to hear such words. Since her return, she had only been made to feel guilty about bringing Henry back, been made to regret coming home, but Graham's words made her feel far better about her decision to attempt to reunite her entire family, even with their missing memories.

"Thank you." she breathed, and his gaze softened further, into a look she didn't expect or want to see. "That means a lot."

He sat beside her in silence as Emma tried to identify the stars, wondering if Killian was looking up at them too, and she felt a light touch to her hand. Graham had reached out but Emma pulled her hand back before he could take it.

"I want to feel something for you, Emma." he declared suddenly, and she spun to face him. "I want to try. And I understand if you don't want anything, but I think we could at least be friends. Besides, the deal is still valid. If it's what you want to do, you can marry me and bring peace to our kingdoms."

"We can't be more than friends, Graham." she protested, wanting to explain and tell him all about Killian and how she'd found the person she loved more than anything, except her son, but it was too hard, too raw for her to mention him. "And I can't marry you. Don't try to make me."

"I didn't mean to make you feel obligated." he said instantly, as though he realised just how his words had sounded. "Marriage or no marriage, I will try my hardest to stop the war. I just wanted to let you know it's still an option. If it's not an option you want to take, I'll be a friend, nothing more."

Emma and Killian had left the Jolly Roger as soon as the sky turned red with the setting sun, Emma leaving her son with a quick kiss to the forehead and her father with a hug, the king insisting Emma take his sword with her. The walk inland had taken just under two hours, the time spent in a slightly uncomfortable silence. Emma wanted to ask why Killian had tried to stop her from going with him, or if he would have ever come back if he hadn't heard rumours of her mother ruling alongside Graham, but at the same time, she didn't want to hear the truth if it was going to hurt.

She already hurt enough.

They traipsed quietly along the town walls, passing the wooden hut that had so recently been Pinocchio's home, until they reached the side of the palace, and then Emma led Killian to the unassuming door of the servant's quarters, the unguarded entrance closest to Graham's room. Ear pressed against the door, she listened for any signs that servants were nearby. She didn't want to run into any more people than necessary, as they would either turn her in or not, and if not, she knew what they were risking.

But the palace sounded almost deserted, and when she pushed the door ajar, the hallway was dark.

She didn't want to think where the servants were.

Tiptoeing, she led the pirate along the winding corridor and up a spiral staircase to the guest suite, where Graham had been staying since his arrival at the palace months earlier. Despite their attempt to get there quickly, and unnoticed, Killian kept stopping and gaping at paintings or ornate sculptures until he eventually took hold of her arm and turned her to look at him. "This place, this marvel, was your home? And you honestly wanted to leave it behind to travel realms with me and Henry?" he whispered, his eyes searching hers intently. "You would have left all of this to be with me?"

"We don't have time for this." she hissed, trying to stay as quiet as she could. "Why are you asking me this now?"

"Humour me. Would you?"

"You shouldn't have to ask." she bit out. "What do you think I would have done?"

Killian's jaw clenched and he simply gestured for her to keep walking, following Emma along the corridor until they stopped outside the white, gold-trimmed door of Graham's room. They had a brief, wordless exchange, fighting over who would go in first, but Emma gave in, allowing Killian to step in front of her.

It would be better for Killian to restrain the huntsman before he caught sight of Emma, just in case he attacked her again.

He burst through the door, Emma following him and watching with apprehension as he ran at the huntsman, Graham's eyes wide as he jumped up from his seat, hand reaching for the knife he always carried. He didn't have the opportunity to fight back, Killian's forearm against his neck as the pirate forced him back down to the chair.

"Swan, tie him up." Killian muttered, pointing his hook towards the curtains. "As tight as you like."

She rolled her eyes, but darted across the room to take the curtain ties, the huntsman stopping his struggling when he saw her, and then using them to tie Graham's wrists to the arms of his chair. Despite not wanting to hurt him, his hand twitched towards her at her approach, and she tied him tighter than she would have wanted.

"Emma?" he asked, and she finally looked him in the eye. They weren't empty, the way they had been when he lunged at her, but were soft, much like they were when he had taught her archery. Back when she had almost kissed him. "What are you doing here? Don't you know how dangerous it is for you to be here?"

"I need to know more, Graham. You need to tell me anything you know, anything that can help me or my mother." She was kneeling in front of him, looking up at him imploringly and he was staring down at her in a way he hadn't since before he told her he couldn't feel for her. "I know you've saved her before. And my father. You can't want to let her die like this."

"I don't know what I can tell you." he said, looking away from her. "I don't know how much I can say before it's too much and then I can't tell you anything."

"Well, tell us what you can." Killian said, his voice clipped, and Graham stared up at him as though he had forgotten the pirate was there. "So that Emma hasn't risked everything for nothing."

"This is who you were waiting for." Graham stated quietly, his knuckles white as he clutched the arms of the chair. She heard Killian swallow, and she twisted to see that he was grimacing, guilt written on his face. "The person you love."

"It is." she answered quietly, watching Killian when she spoke, watching the way he bit his lip and smiled slightly, his intense gaze softening.

"I suppose it's a good thing we didn't get married then." Graham said with a wry laugh. "I am glad he came back for you, Emma, but now isn't the time for catching up. I'll tell you what I can."

"What is she planning, Graham? I've heard the rumours that were spread throughout the realm. Why? What does she want?" Emma didn't want to waste any more time, each moment spent with Graham and in the palace risking her own capture.

She just needed answers. And then they could run away and save her mother.

"The rumours? Of your death?" Graham clarified, Emma nodding. "Regina's plan is what it's always been. To take everything your mother has. Killing you and your father would take her happiness, but Regina wants the kingdom too. She spread word that there were rebellions in your kingdom, uprisings and then in the weeks before our wedding, she spread the news that a violent uprising had led to your death. And your father's death."

She had guessed that much, but it was nice to have confirmation. She felt Killian's hand graze the small of her back, as if he had wanted to reach towards her and pulled away, and she wondered if maybe all the talk of rumours were bringing back memories from their time apart, that he wanted to touch her just to reassure himself that she was there.

"With rumours of such violence, no dignitaries were going to risk attending your wedding, especially with your rumoured demise. Regina wants to control your mother, but she doesn't want people to suspect she's behind it. If any other kingdoms hear of Snow's new, vicious regime, it will make sense. After all, they believe that the people were behind your death." Graham was speaking quickly, as if trying to get as many words out as possible. "And then, Snow will become a ruler the people will despise, punishing them for nothing, taking their money, doing anything that will make your people hate her. Until they don't want Snow as their Queen anymore, until even Regina looks like a better option. She doesn't just want the kingdom, Emma, she wants them to want her too."

"And how long does she plan to take, ruining the kingdom?" Emma was desperate, needing to know the time they had before Regina took everything from Snow, before her mother was destroyed by the things she would be forced to do. "How long do we have before Regina kills her?"

Graham looked at her, blinked, and in that moment his eyes became empty again. He struggled, trying to reach her, but Killian moved faster than she would have thought possible, his hand wrapping around the huntsman's neck. "Tell her." He snarled, his face only inches from Graham's. "How long?"

"I can't." Graham said, gritting his teeth as if every word was a struggle to get out. "You need to go. Now."

"Come on, Graham." she pleaded. "Just tell me one more thing. How long?"

Graham blinked, the emptiness fading slightly into the fond look he sometimes gave her, and he opened his mouth to speak, but before any words could escape, he yelled, body convulsing within the restraints and Emma knew what was happening, and why he'd suddenly seemed so different when he attacked, why a man who had saved her family so many times had tried to destroy them.

Regina, wherever she was, was crushing his heart.

Killian knelt beside her, fingers scrambling to untie one of the ropes around Graham's wrist, Emma copying him, but before they could free him, before they could do anything, it was over, his head lolling forward to rest against his chest, his eyes closed.

He'd died in front of them, died because Emma had insisted on asking one more question, even when he told them he couldn't say anymore, that he needed them to go.

She collapsed forward, her forehead against the huntsman's calf, crying her apologies to him, even though she knew it was too late for him to hear them.

She hated this, everything falling into place in her mind as she realised the extent Graham had been controlled and manipulated by Regina. She remembered the story her mother had told her, how he had set her free, and even then he had been working for the Evil Queen.

Thirty years of imprisonment for it to end like this, tied up by people he wanted to help, his heart finally crushed, turned to dust in the hands of Regina.

He had been trying to help, fighting against her domination control with every word, and he had died for it. Because of Emma.

She felt almost oblivious to everything else, clinging to Graham's body even when she felt Killian start to prize her away and physically lift her into his arms. He carried her out the room, Emma's eyes never leaving the slumped figure of Graham until they came to the top of the stairs and her view was cut off.

She could distantly hear a commotion in the palace, vaguely aware of Killian abandoning all stealth to start hurrying back through the hallways, each step jostling her in his arms, but she just buried her head in his shoulder and tried to stop the tears falling down her cheeks.

And she was too much in shock to pay attention to anything else that happened, running alongside Killian when he finally put her down, the guards shouts following them all the way to the waterfront, and then she was sat on the deck of the Jolly Roger, arms wrapped around her knees and Killian was yelling orders, sails rising and the wind catching them.

And then the Jolly Roger left her kingdom, her palace and Graham behind.

David finally took her inside, begrudgingly walking her to the room she shared with Killian, before kissing her forehead and promising everything would, eventually, be alright. She lay on the bed, on top of the blankets, stare locked on the ceiling, her father copying her and reclining next to her.

"I think I may be getting seasick." her father said eventually. "I'm not used to all of this swaying back and forth."

"I know what you're doing, Dad." Emma said quietly, personally finding the rocking of the ship comforting. "You trying to stop me from thinking about Graham. And Pinocchio."

"I don't think I can stop you from thinking about them. I know you were close to both of them." David told her, sighing. "But you don't need to deal with it alone. You know I'm always here for you, and I am growing rather fond of Henry and I know he's there for you too. And Hook, I may not like him, but I know he'd do anything for you and I can't disapprove too much of a man like that."

"But he didn't come back for me. He left me and if he hadn't heard about Graham, he would never have come back." she whispered.

"I don't know. I think he would've." David admitted reluctantly. "Eventually. He thought you were dead, and imagine how terrible he must have felt, and what coming back here would be like for him."

"But if he'd believed in us, then he would have known I was alive. Wouldn't he have felt it?" She was desperate for an explanation, hoping her father would be able to give her one, to tell her something that might make her feel slightly better. "You knew when Mom went under the sleeping curse. And you came for her."

"And if I hadn't experienced that for myself, I wouldn't have thought that could happen." David said slowly, Emma rolling on her side to face him. "True love is rare, Emma. I doubt Hook would have known what he would feel if you truly had died. You know because of me and your mother, but if you were anyone else, would you be upset at him believing the rumours? If you had heard rumours of his death, and you didn't know the pain you'd feel the instant you lost him, would you have been so certain?"

"And do you think what we have is true love?" Emma asked, desperately. "Killian and me?"

"I've seen the way you look at each other." Her father told her, a sad smile on his face as he gazed at the pictures of her on the wall. "I really wouldn't be surprised if you were, although I have to say that I hope it's not something you ever need to test. And that man, the one steering the ship for us and taking us to your mother, he's worried sick about you. And he thinks you don't want him with you anymore, that you don't want his comfort. I know you're hurting, but don't hurt yourself anymore by keeping him away. If he'll help, let him. Let him love you, Emma. Don't waste time being apart when you know how easy it is to lose someone."

Emma reached out to take her father's hand, clasping it between both of hers. "You're not going to lose Mom, Dad." she muttered, and he smiled at her. "We're going to get her back."

"I know we are." he said, pulling his hand away and getting up from the bed. "Now, I'm going to go check on Henry. Do you want me to send Hook along, or do you want some space?"

She shrugged halfheartedly, and David raised an eyebrow. "Do what you want."

"I'll send him along." He promised, and then left the room.

She sighed, closing her eyes and just concentrating on the movement of the ship. Everything felt like too much, the threat of Regina feeling closer than it ever had before. Although she had grown up hearing terrible stories of the Evil Queen, the kingdom constantly battling her, she had never seemed real before. There had always been the knowledge thatgood would win and something would stop her from doing real harm. And now people she cared about were dying, the force of good was losing and Emma was unable to stop any of it.

And she'd blamed Killian and said such hurtful things to him, and he'd held her anyway, until she sent him away. He'd left without a word, left for the room full of memories that haunted him and tried to do something to help, finished Pinocchio's toy for Henry.

She heard the creak of the door opening, but she didn't open her eyes. She didn't need to in order know it was her pirate.

"You asleep, sweetheart?" he asked in a whisper, Emma shaking her head in response. "I would have been with you earlier, but I wanted to get as far from the shore as I could. It didn't help that the crew's in a bit of an uproar."

"Uproar?"

He didn't answer immediately, Emma hearing him close the door and cross the room before she felt the weight of him sitting on the mattress beside her. His finger brushed against her hand, cautiously, as if he thought he needed her permission to take her hand now. "Unfortunately, we had to leave rather urgently." he explained, his fingers finally entwining with hers. "So we may have left Skylights behind."

"You left someone behind?" she asked, finally opening her eyes to peer up at him, his face softening into a relieved smile when he noticed she was looking at him.

Killian nodded, chuckling slightly when Emma gaped at him. "We didn't realise until it was too late and then we couldn't risk going back for him. I couldn't let Regina hurt you anymore. I detest how much she's hurt you and your family already and I wasn't going to give her an opportunity to do any more damage."

Her father's words echoed through her mind and she sat up, her back resting against the headboard. "You know, Killian," she began, raising his hand so she could kiss it, just a light brush of her lips to the back of his hand. "You could say our family, if neither of us are planning on going anywhere."

He stared at her, shocked, before leaning close to kiss her forehead, Emma's free hand rising to grip his shirt and hold him to her. "We'll defeat the Evil Queen." he promised, Emma nodding in agreement. "And we'll do it together."

"She's threatened my parents for years, killed so many people," she said, voice breaking when Graham's lifeless form rose unsolicited in her mind. "Now we're going to take her down."

"Exactly." He agreed, letting go of her hand and shifting so he was sat beside her, his arm around her shoulder, thumb caressing the nape of her neck. "And your mother will be fine."

She let him hold her for a long time, his face buried in her hair, and eventually, she did feel better. Not as happy as she had been with him in Oz, but better than she had since Pinocchio's death.

And she angled her head to look up at him and tell him, but his eyes were closed and his breathing was slightly slowed. She gazed at him, wondering if this was the first time he'd slept since the day before, and then leaned up to kiss his jaw.

He woke up at the touch, clearly not too deep into his slumber. "Emma? Are you feeling better?"

"I'm feeling sorry." she admitted, looking down so that she didn't have to stare into his eyes while she apologised for everything she had said. "Sorry about yesterday. It's not your fault, Killian, and I only said it because I was angry with everything. Regina would have figured out a way to make all of this happen, even if I didn't agree to marry Graham."

She felt him tense underneath her, felt his hook tap against the gold of her ring, and she was certain that he hated the thought of her choosing another man. He needed to know what had happened, why she had allowed herself to agree to such an arrangement, but she couldn't do that today. "You really would have married him?"

"I know we need to talk about this." she said, pulling her hand out from under his hook so she could cup his cheek, force him to look at her. "And we will. But I don't want that today. I don't care that it took Graham to bring you back to me, because you did come back, and I don't care that you stayed away because you thought I was dead, because how could you know that you would feel it? All I care about is that we're not still apart, that we're together and I don't want us to not talk anymore. I just don't want to talk about that today."

"We weren't talking?" he said teasingly, and she beamed at him, at the way he had so easily acquiesced to what she wanted. "You weren't doing a great job of that, love."

"But you agree, don't you? You don't mind that we won't talk about Graham now."

"Of course I agree." Killian tilted his head down, Emma meeting him for a kiss, one that only lasted seconds but made her feel like she was finally breathing again. "I thought of you everyday. I loved you everyday, even when I believed you were lost to me. All I want, all I could ever want, is to love you and have you by my side. And if that means I have to wait for you to tell me about the man you nearly married, that's more than fine."

He had made her smile, Emma realised, brighter than she had in weeks, and she couldn't stop herself from brushing her lips against his, just one more time. "Everything will be fine." she said, talking more to herself than him. "As long as we're together, and Henry's here, everything is going to be okay."

I hope you enjoyed the chapter (And that you all had a happy new year). Thank you to everyone who favourited/followed, as well as fox24, Rachi1940, ScapeArtist, buffybabe42, Marcela, LadaHathaway, that-first-glance-feeling, the-art-of-escape and CSdisneylover for reviewing. Massive thank you to BlackDragon733 for beta-ing!

The next chapter will take a bit longer to be posted as I'm away next week and then back to uni, but at least this one doesn't end on a cliffhanger (and is quite a bit longer than usual)!