a/n: Hi guys! Again, I'm sorry that my updates are so late but I'm totally swamped in college apps and essays plus the boatload of homework my teachers think I have time for. I swear I would update more if I had time! Also, how amazing was the season premiere!

Clarke

Bellamy had not let me out of his sight since we'd gotten back. Hell, he'd barely let me move more than five feet away from him.

It was sort of starting to melt my brain. Every time I looked at his face, my eyes drifted to his lips. Lips that had been on mine, lips that had made my insides burn like fire. Then my eyes would slowly drift down to his hands, hands that had been wrapped around my body, holding me tightly, making me feel safe and alive at the same time.

"What did you do this afternoon, Clarke?" I jumped at the sound of Mr. Jonson's voice.

Before I could stop it, a blush settled over my cheeks. "Oh, n-nothing, Mr. Jonson. Just walked around a bit."

He smiled at me. "Good, good. Enjoying the city?"

My eyes wandered over to where Bellamy was sitting, his eyes fastened onto the back of my head like lasers. "Yes, sir," my voice was quiet. "The city is amazing."

The city probably was amazing, but the only thing I could think about, hell the only thing I'd been thinking about for the past months, was the complex, freckled body guard that made me so angry sometimes I couldn't see. But also who made me laugh, and cry, and who made me see the world in a whole new light.

I closed my eyes, wanting to block out all the feelings that were rolling around in my stomach like crazy.

This was entirely illogical. And if there was one thing that I was, it was logical. But Bellamy banished logic from my brain with just a look, just a touch, just a smile.

Bellamy

I couldn't drag my eyes away from her, couldn't let her out of my sight, because if I did, I was afraid she might disappear.

When I hadn't been able to find her this afternoon at the market, absolute terror had flooded through my veins. I'd never felt anything like it before. With no way to contact her, I'd run down the streets, never stopping until I'd finally spotted her blond head, running down an alley, a look of sheer terror on her face. I'd wanted to kill whoever put that look on her face, wanted to rip them limb from limb.

But I couldn't leave her again. When I dragged her into that alleyway, I'd fully intended to give her a serious piece of my mind, but then I'd looked into her eyes, her eyes that could somehow melt my bones. And I'd felt relief course through me, temporarily blinding out my rage.

In that moment, I'd needed to feel her lips on mine, needed solid, undeniable proof that she was all right. That no one had hurt her. So I'd kissed her.

It had been stupid and entirely inappropriate, but I'd needed it. Needed her. And that was why, I couldn't bring myself to regret it.

Of course, it also meant I was fucked. I had to tell her father. Had to tell him that his daughter was working her way under my skin, that I was afraid she was becoming a part of me. Which meant I wouldn't be allowed to be around her anymore.

I put my hands in my head, letting out a deep sigh. I had no idea what to do anymore. Clarke had muddled my brain, and there was no going back.

Clarke

After dinner, I went upstairs with Raven, ready for the peaceful, numbness sleep brought.

I brushed my teeth in the sink next to Raven, listening to her chat away about the city, and what she'd done that day.

"And then, um, Finn asked me to hang out with him, and-"

I looked over at her in surprise. "Finn asked you out?"

She blushed. I had never seen Raven blush. Raven was far too tough to blush, I didn't even think she was capable of it.

"Yeah, I guess he did." She wouldn't look at me, instead choosing to look down at the toothpaste dripping off her toothbrush.

I paused. Finn had asker her out. The same Finn that I'd been crushing on forever. The one that had starred in all my stupid, teenage fantasies.

And I didn't care. Finn no longer held any interest for me. He was funny, and kind, and lord knows he was handsome. But he didn't have eyes like fire, and tanned, freckled skin, and a smile so cocky it made me tense with either anger or laughter.

I let the toothbrush fall from my mouth. I was in love with Bellamy Blake. Not in lust, or teenage infatuation. In love.

And I was so screwed. He was my bodyguard, it was his job to protect me, not to love me, or care for me.

"Are you okay, Clarke?" Raven's worried voice brought me out of my thoughts.

I pasted on a smile. "Yeah, of course. That is so great that he asked you out, Raven! I'm so happy for you."

She smiled, and I could see this light in her eyes. A light that had recently appeared in my eyes.

We left the bathroom, and put on our pajamas. We were about to get into bed, when our door opened.

"I thought I'd made it clear that I was sleeping in here tonight."

I jumped at the deep voice behind me. I whirled around to face him. "Bellamy!"

"Clarke," his eyes were intense and his voice was his no nonsense bodyguard voice.

There was no way in hell I was getting out of this one. Not when I'd gotten lost this afternoon, and he'd had to save my ass. Again. I was just going to have to deal with the repercussions of my actions, which I knew would include the lecture he hadn't given me this afternoon.

Turning to Raven, I gave a small smile. "Uh, do you mind?"

She grinned at me. "No, of course not. Although, I still have no idea how you guys are getting away with this. I swear only you two would be able to sneak into a hotel room together on a field trip."

No kidding. Bellamy Blake really was in a class all to himself.

Raven left, and Bellamy walked in behind her, his footsteps silent, but his presence was as loud as an explosion. I looked up at him, his face was blank of all emotion. I knew he was still angry about what had happened today.

I took a deep breath. "Bellamy, I am really sorry about what happened today. I swear I didn't mean to wander off, I just, I got lost."

I hadn't been looking into his eyes the entire time I'd been speaking, so I finally lifted my eyes to meet his brown ones. I excepted them to be hard and angry, but they weren't. They were full of something I couldn't quite identify.

Bellamy shut his eyes, and put his hand over his face. Oh no. I knew it was bad, but I didn't think it was this bad. He was obviously still pissed.

"Bellamy, please say something. I know you're angry, okay, just let me hear it."

He finally looked at me. "Angry? You think I'm angry?" His eyes were absolutely blazing with heat, so much heat that I took a step back.

He took a step toward. "I am furious, Clarke! Something could have happened to you, I might never have found you, you could be fucking dead right now!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I-I know. I'm really sorry."

He took another step forward, and I stepped back again, the back of my knees hitting the edge of the bed.

"You think you know. You think you know what it would mean to lose you, Clarke, but you don't."

I frowned, confusion settling in. "Bellamy, I know you'd get in trouble, I just-"

He stepped forward again, so that his chest was pressed against mine, and I was utterly trapped. "You think that's why I'm afraid, Clarke? I can't lose you, not because of your father or my job, but because I cannot lose you."

I stopped breathing. "What?"

I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. Brown fire and rage and tenderness combined in an utterly intoxicating swirl of emotions. "But you, you were flirting with that girl."

He frowned. "What girl?"

"The girl at the cafe this afternoon."

"Jesus H. Christ, Clarke! Is that why you wouldn't talk to me all day? Because you thought I was flirting with some random girl."

I pushed against his chest, suddenly wanting to get out of this vulnerable position. But, of course, pushing against Bellamy was always a fruitless task.

"Let me go," I growled at him.

"Not until you understand." He said, pushing himself further into me.

I glared up at him. "Understand what?"

He let go of my hands, only to grab my waist instead.

"This." And then his lips were on mine again, just as soft and demanding as I remembered.

I wanted to push him off of me. I really did. But then he bit my lip and when I opened my mouth he slipped his tongue in and I was gone to the world.

Wrapping my arms, around his neck, I dragged him as close as humanly possible.

But too soon, he broke away, leaving me panting and feeling as if I'd lost something important. "Understand that, Clarke."

And with those words, he left me standing by the bed, out of breath, and completely, utterly lost.

a/n: Ahh, I know. What a terrible place to leave you. But I swear on the grave of my dog (whom I love very much) that I will update soon as we have a four day weekend next week.