Chapter Title: In fide scientiam
A/N: Thanks for all the comments for the last chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. This update a little later and a lot shorter than usual. What can I say? Despite the amazing response to this story I've kind of lost my passion for it. I'll use the weekend to draw up a timeline for the end of this story.
Happy reading and I hope you have a fantastic weekend ahead of you!
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Five days after their big talk, Oliver found himself propped up against the headboard of his bed in the Queens' Hampton mansion, waiting patiently for his wife to come out of the bathroom and join him in bed. Yeah, that was definitely something he wouldn't have expected to say just a few months ago. But here he was, a book (A Song of Ice and Fire – per Felicity's recommendation, of course) in his hands, chancing glances at the closed bathroom door every few seconds as if that would make her come out faster.
The corners of his lips tugged up a little at the realization that he was completely and utterly whipped. They'd been sharing a bed every night for the past six nights and if that had taught him anything it was that he never wanted to miss her from his life again.
The door opened and Felicity walked towards the bed, clad in one of his t-shirts and yeah, definitely not wearing a bra. He swallowed and let his eyes drift unabashedly from her bare feet over her legs to her makeup free face, not bothering to hide his appreciation. His smile grew wider when he saw a faint blush creep up her cheeks. It filled him with a primal pride that he could manage to make this beautiful, confident woman blush with nothing more than an admiring gaze.
Wordlessly he put the book on the nightstand and scooted down so that he was completely outstretched on the bed as she slipped under the covers, not hesitating before crawling in his opened arms. Her head came to rest on his heart after placing a quick kiss on his Bratva tattoo, fingers skimming over his bare stomach to his chest. He sighed in contentment as his arms came around her waist, pressing her more into his side. This right here was perfection.
They'd been sleeping like this every night since their talk, and even though they hadn't taken the next step in their relationship, this was everything he could ever want. They'd both been extremely busy during the week, getting everything in order before they left for their long weekend on Wednesday afternoon, so they hadn't seen much of each other during the days, making their nights together even more special.
Since they'd arrived pretty late that night, they'd just grabbed some take out on the way to the mansion, too lazy to cook anything. Oliver had called ahead and asked the house staff to stock up the fridge and pantry, careful to remember all the things Felicity had told him. She finally wanted to cook for them tomorrow and he was glad that they could circle back to their earlier plans so easily.
He glanced down at the woman in his arms and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. It was quiet moments like this that made him think that everything could have gone so very differently. What if she hadn't come back? What if she had decided to leave him for good after he revealed his secret to her? What if she had gone to the police? There were so many different possibilities and yet, here she was. In his arms. And, dear God, it just felt right.
His fingers skimmed over her waist and she let out a small sigh, a huff of hot air brushing over his skin, but her slowed breathing was a dead giveaway that she was already asleep. He smiled and pressed another kiss to the top of her head.
He was glad that their talk had put everything out in the open. Well, admittedly, not everything. There were still a million things that he hadn't told her about his time on and off the island, but last Friday had been a good start. It had been the first time that Oliver had talked about what had really happened after the Gambit went down, and yes, it had been difficult to talk about it, but at the same time it had felt good, it had felt right to share this with Felicity. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Despite being happier than ever in his life -even before his time on the island- there were doubts nagging at him. Because of their hectic schedules at work, and her clocking overtime every night of the week, they hadn't actually started working on finding out more about the Undertaking, but he was sure they'd start as soon as they got back to Starling City next week. Was he putting her in danger by asking for her help?
This was something he hadn't considered until now. Before, his marriage, while not really wanted, had at least provided a convenient cover for his nightly activities. Nobody would expect a newly-wed Oliver Queen to spend his nights anywhere but at his wife's side. He'd had never really stopped to think about what would happen to his wife when his identity ever were to be uncovered. What ramifications that would have in her life. With no feelings involved he didn't have any reason to ever consider that possibility.
But now, things had changed. There were feelings involved. Feelings that were stronger than anything he'd ever known.
He felt foolish for never thinking about the possible danger he was putting Felicity in, simply by being married to her. And now he wanted to involve her actively in his crusade? What the hell was he thinking? He would never be able to forgive himself if anything were to happen to her because of him.
"Stop thinking so loudly," came his wife's mumbled voice against his skin.
An involuntary smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I thought you were asleep."
She sighed and dropped a sloppy kiss to his chest before propping her chin on it so she could look at him. "Yeah, I tried, but someone's heart," she laid her hand over his chest, right above his heart. "Decided to go a bit wild," she said and tapped her index finger to the quickened beat of his heart. "What's up?"
He couldn't help but shake his head. This woman was absolutely amazing. Never mind that they'd only been on (friendly) speaking terms for a few weeks, and had started their actual relationship a few days ago, they were already so attuned to each other that it should come as no surprise that something as miniscule as a slightly elevated heart rate would set off alarms. And yet, he couldn't help but marvel at her perceptiveness, and the amount of concern in her voice.
Even though it was a weird angle, he leaned his head down and pressed a soft kiss to her nose. "Just thinking," he assured her and leaned back again.
"About what?"
He sighed. "You know, stuff," he said noncommittally, but at her raised eyebrow he admitted, "You. Me. The danger I'm bringing into your life."
"Oliver," she sighed in return. "I may not have chosen to marry you a few months ago. But just last week I did choose to stay. To be with you. All of you." She brought up her hand from his chest to cup his scruffy cheek. "I know that we still have a long road ahead of us and that we will hit more bumps, but I'm here to stay."
"I don't deserve you," he whispered and leaned into her touch.
She wriggled out of his arms and for a split second he feared that she'd leave, but instead, she swung a leg across him and sat up, straddling his stomach, her hands flat on his chest.
"Stop it," she chided and leaned down, hair swept to one side of her head, her lips only an inch from his. "Maybe I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," she whispered, her breath ghosting over his lips.
Before he could protest, her lips pressed down on his, pulling him into a passionate kiss that almost made him forget his own name. She ran his tongue over his bottom lip, her hands fisting his hair roughly. Gladly, he obliged and opened his mouth, eager to grant her access. Their tongues fought a deliciously slow duel for domination, while his hands found their way over her thighs to her waist, dragging the hem of the t-shirt up so he could feel her soft skin under his calloused finger tips.
She let out a little surprised yelp when he sat up abruptly, making her slide down into his lap, while never once breaking the contact of their lips. His hands came around to cup her butt, squeezing tightly. He groaned when she swiveled her hips in response, brushing against his groin, in a slow, sensual motion.
One of her hands ran down his back, coming to rest just above the waistband of his sweatpants, her nimble fingers skimming over his skin. In turn, he brought up one of his hands from her butt, moving it between them. Slowly, ever so slowly, he ran his fingers over her stomach until he reached the exquisite swell of of her breasts. Teasingly, he ran the pad of his thumb over one of her nipples. The sound that ripped from her throat at the contact was caught somewhere between a gasp and a cry, muffled by his lips, sending desire flaring through his body. In what he assumed to be an involuntary reaction her hips ground into his sharply, the friction enough to remind him of his raging hard-on.
"Felicity," he hissed as her lips broke away from his, and latched onto his neck.
He pinched her nipple, rolling it between his thumb and index finger, making her double her efforts on the pulse point on his neck.
"Baby, if you don't stop that I can't guarantee for anything," he ground out between gritted teeth.
Her teeth grazed over his sensitized skin one last time before she dropped her head to his shoulder, breathing just as heavily as he was.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled and pressed a kiss to his collarbone. "It's my own stupid idea."
"It's not stupid," he assured her, kissing the crown of her head. "You just really need to get off of me or I won't be able to wait."
The breath she huffed out fanned over his skin, making him swallow hard, trying to reign in his reaction.
He had gotten to voice his conditions so it had only been fair to let her make some demands of her own. She wanted to take it slow. She was reluctant to tell the rest of the family of their new-found... friendliness, out of fear that they would make a big deal out of it. Knowing his sister, she had every reason for concern. But she'd also established a no sex rule that Oliver was sure would be the death of him.
He'd stared at her blankly when she'd told him about it. While he had had sexual partners since his return from Lian Yu, it still had been more than 7 months since the last time and give him a break, he's a guy.
Of course he'd understood where she was coming from when she'd explained that she didn't want to rush into a physical relationship with him without solidifying their emotional bond first. Especially, given their history together. He couldn't fault her for being cautious about taking that last step, but God help him, he wanted to claim her as his, make her scream his name, make slow and lazy love to her when they woke up together after a night that was spent exploring each other's bodies and preferences.
"Soon," she promised as she pressed one more kiss to the corner of his mouth and plopped down on the mattress next to him.
He took a minute or five to calm his body before he turned toward her again, dragging her body into his embrace. The least he could do was make use of his cuddle privileges.
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When he woke up, even before he opened his eyes, he instantly knew that he was alone. Gone was the soft warmth of Felicity's body from his arms. He blinked a few times against the stark sunlight shining in through the curtains. His gaze swept over the room. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, but the lights were off, so she was probably not in there.
He sat up, running a hand through his messy hair. With a frown he realized that he actually hadn't felt her leave. Sure, he'd been tired, but that usually never kept his ninja sense from kicking in when there was movement around him.
Disgruntled, he made his way down the stairs toward the kitchen after a quick stop in the bathroom. He could smell coffee and felt a smile tug at his lips until he rounded the corner to the kitchen and found it empty. Upon closer inspection he realized that the coffee machine had been set on a timer.
He poured himself a mug and stepped out on the terrace overlooking the beach. It was a beautiful morning, only a few clouds in the sky with the sun already spreading a comfortable warmth everywhere. He let his gaze drift over the shoreline and then to his left and right.
When his grandparents had bought this place many years ago, they'd also bought all surrounding properties, combing them all into one big estate, so that there were no other houses for more than half a mile in either direction. Oliver couldn't be more grateful. This didn't just give them the utmost privacy, but it also calmed his ever present security concerns.
In the distance he saw a figure moving its way along the beach and after a few minutes he realized it was Felicity. He sipped his coffee while he waited for her to reach the house, trying to tamp down the very vivid Baywatch-esque images of Felicity jogging toward him in a red bikini instead of her running gear.
"Hey," she greeted him happily.
"Morning," he smiled back at her. "Good run?"
"Perfect," she said and came to a stop in front of him, stepping on her toes to press a kiss to his lips, humming in contentment.
Instead of letting her step away he quickly banded his free arm around her and pressed her to his body, swooping in for another, longer kiss.
"Oliver," she sighed, swatting lightly at his chest, but making no real effort to get away. "I'm all gross and sweaty."
"I don't care," he replied while peppering countless kisses over her jaw line and down her neck. "I can always help you clean up, and then get dirty again."
She let out a huff of laughter between tiny moans. "Oliver," she warned. Her tone somewhere between admonishing and playful.
He finally let go of her, but not without stealing another deep kiss. "To be continued," he whispered and walked back into the house.
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They spend the rest of the morning eating breakfast and lounging around the house. When lunch time came around, they headed into the small town that was only a few miles away and ate at a little diner that Oliver remembered from the countless summers he'd spent here. The rest of the afternoon was spent strolling around the town center, looking at the window displays of little artisan stores.
After they returned to the house, Felicity took it upon herself to prep their dinner while Oliver was ordered to sit at the kitchen counter and stay out of her way. He was fine with that. At least that gave him a chance to observe his wife for a while.
Their time together was almost sickeningly blissful. Somehow they had instantly fallen into an easy routine. Being with her was just that: easy. Holding hands with her and walking along the beach was a kind of perfection that he hadn't been able to imagine finding in his life for the past six years.
But then one day Felicity Smoak had stumbled (quite literally so) into his life and despite their initial animosity toward each other, she'd turned out to be a complete game changer. With her, he was actually happy. With her, he could see a future. With her, he wanted to be a better man. He knew that he was damaged beyond repair. That there would always be a deep-seated darkness in him. But she was like a ray of sunshine, a never fading light, that illuminated his life, guiding him ever patiently.
He suppressed a chuckle and hid his face behind his wine glass. If he felt about her like this after only dating for six days (plus six months of being at each other's throats), he sure as hell was in for a ride in the future. With a smile he realized that he couldn't wait to start.
Felicity shot him a curious glance, but focused on cutting vegetables instead of asking him what he was smiling about. And it was just one more remarkable thing about this woman. She seemed to have an almost innate sense when it came to knowing when to push for an answer and when she should just wait for him to talk when he was ready.
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Dinner was amazing. She had been seriously downplaying her cooking skills before tonight.
"What's for dessert?," he asked jokingly, as they were clearing the table.
"Tiramisu," she replied with a wink.
His jaw dropped. "What?"
She stepped on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I never got my happy ending," she shrugged, her eyes glinting with mischief.
A rushed breath left his body and he groaned, "God, you're killing me."
She patted his shoulder lightly. "Later, baby," she said lightly and moved past him to grab her glass and the wine bottle. "Now I wanna try the jacuzzi."
"Not helping," he grumbled, but dutifully followed her outside.
They changed quickly into their bathing suits and reconvened at the steaming jacuzzi. Oliver couldn't help but gape at her body when she took off her robe. She was wearing a black two-piece that left nothing to his imagination. His eyes raked over her long legs, her toned stomach, her ample breasts. When he reached her face, there was a knowing smile playing on her lips while she in turn checked him out.
For the longest time after coming home, he'd been self-conscious about his scars, trying to not let anybody see them. At first, he thought Felicity would be put off by them, but the looks she gave him whenever she saw him with or without a shirt on quickly proved the opposite to be true. It was almost like she didn't even see them, like she looked past them and only saw the man he was underneath it all.
"Are you joining me or not?" she pulled him out of his thoughts, and when he looked up she was already seated in the water.
He quickly sank into the water next to her, enjoying the warm water surrounding him. For a while they just sat in silence, sipping their wine and reveling in the peacefulness of the situation.
Felicity put her glass down on grabbed her phone. "Let's play truth or dare," she said.
He raised his eyebrows. "What are we? 13?"
"Come on, it'll be fun. You can ask me all the naughty stuff." She winked at him, and then added sweetly, "Unless you're afraid."
He growled. "Bring it on."
"Wanna start?"
"Truth," he said without missing a beat.
She contemplated her choices with pursed lips for a second. "How old were you when you had sex for first time?"
He chuckled. "14. Your turn."
"Okay, wow why does that actually not surprise me at all? Truth."
"Have you ever taken a photo/video of yourself while having sex?"
She drew her brows together, as he looked at her expectantly. "No," she finally answered. "Especially because I know how easy it is to hack computers. How about you?"
He smiled. "Never been my kind of thing. I might have been reckless before the island, but that was something that I was never into. Was that my next truth?"
"Sure. Dare."
He grinned. "Sit in my lap for the rest of the game."
She narrowed her eyes, but couldn't hide the smile that appeared on her lips. "Nice move, Mr. Queen," she said as she slowly made her way across the water-filled space that was separating them. She placed her knees on either side of his hips and straddled him swiftly, her arms coming up to curl around his neck. Instinctively his hands came to rest on her hips, his fingertips running small patterns over her skin.
"Your turn," she smirked.
"Dare."
"Don't touch me with your hands for the next ten minutes," she demanded without missing a beat.
His mouth fell open. Was she serious?
"You heard me, paws off, Mister," she said and wiggled her hips to shake off his hands.
"You're unbelievable," he muttered and dropped his hands from her waist, his tone somewhere between frustration and amusement.
She gave him a sweet smile. "Truth."
"What's your number?"
She raised her eyebrows. "You really wanna know how many men I've slept with?"
"I wanna know what I'm up against," he said, with a cocky smile.
She pursed her lips, tilting her head to the side, thinking. "Do one night stands count?"
His face fell and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times without any sound coming out. "You know what?" he finally said and cleared his throat. "I take the question back. I don't wanna know."
She laughed freely and leaned forward, kissing the tip of his nose. "I'm sure you're better than any of them."
He moved his hands up to grab her waist before catching his movement, remembering the dare. "You bet I am," he growled, something primal taking over his mind. "Once you let me, I'll blow your fucking mind."
Desired flickered through her eyes and he felt her thighs clenching around his waist. But then a spark of uncertainty ignited in her heated gaze and she bit her lip.
"Does it bother you?"
"What?"
"The whole no sex thing?" she asked quietly, and he could see the doubt in her eyes.
Screw the dare, he thought and brought up his hands to cup her face. "I want to make love to you, Felicity," he assured her, his thumbs ghosting over her skin. "I want to show you how much I want you and I can't wait to do it, but I also understand why you want to wait."
He sighed and shook his head slightly. "God knows I have a shitty history when it comes to relationships and everything around it, and the history between us isn't exactly... ideal, so I understand that you don't want to rush into the physical part. Not yet, at least. And that's okay."
She stared at him for a few seconds and bit her bottom lip again. "You know I could-"
"No!" he interfered quickly, having followed her train of thought. "We do this together or not at all, Felicity. I don't need you to... take care of me because you feel guilty about this," he said with a fond smile. "Even though I do appreciate the offer."
She leaned forward and kissed him softly and he felt himself melt into the kiss. "I told you I don't deserve you," she mumbled against his lips.
"You deserve everything," he whispered back and he could feel the shudder that made its way through her body.
Just then a series of flashes illuminated the dark sky, followed by loud 'bangs' that tore through the quiet night. Instinctively, Oliver's arms banded tightly around Felicity, trying to protect her from any harm. It took him two full seconds to realize that it was just fireworks. It took him a few more seconds to even out his breathing and calm his erratic pulse.
When he looked up, he was met by his wife's worried and almost pained eyes. "What happened to you on that island?" she whispered hoarsely, as she scraped her fingers lightly over the nape of his neck.
Her eyes widened and he knew that she hadn't meant to ask that out loud. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be intrusive or pushy. You know how my mouth works."
He raised his eyebrows in silent amusement and she groaned and rolled her eyes. "Not like that, because you obviously don't know how I do... that," she moved her hands vaguely in the air before adding, "Yet."
She takes a deep breath. "What I meant to say is that I don't have a functioning brain-to-mouth filter. But of course you already knew that."
"I did," he grinned. "You babbled the very first time we met."
She dropped her forehead to his shoulder and groaned again. "Please don't remind me of that. I'm still mortified. And you were seriously pissed."
He chuckled. "I was. I remember being late for a meeting and you just came out of nowhere," he said and let his fingers glider over her bare back.
She pressed a kiss to his collarbone and turned around in his lap, so that her back was against his chest and their faces were cheek to stubbled cheek. "I'm pretty sure you ran into me."
They watched the bursts of color flashing across the sky. "Is that why you made my life a living hell for a week?" he quipped, his fingertips skimming over her stomach.
He felt the chuckle that escaped her lips reverberate through their joined bodies. "No," she said and turned her head to press a lingering kiss to his cheek. "That was because you killed the prototype that I had been working on for more than a year, and then just shrugged it off like it was not a big deal. I don't like it when people mess with my stuff. Plus, you were a jerk."
He hummed in agreement. "But to be fair, that whole hacking thing you did was a pretty jerk-y move, too."
She sighed, sinking further into his embrace. "I know, it was just a knee jerk reaction because I was so pissed at you for being so damn cocky and arrogant and freakishly handsome."
They were silent for a few minutes, simply enjoying being so close to each other, when a thought struck him. He'd been wondering about this before, usually in the aftermath of one of their fights when he was hopped-up on adrenaline and anger.
"Do you think we would've met again if it hadn't been for our meddling mothers?" he asked quietly.
She took a moment before she answered carefully, "I don't know. Probably? Love always finds a way."
He stilled beneath her, his fingers frozen in place right next to her belly button.
Love.
He could pinpoint the exact moment when she realized what she'd said. Her body stiffened under his fingers, a rushed breath leaving her lips.
He was at a loss for words. For the past week they'd been circling around that little four letter word. Who was he kidding? For him it had been weeks. Ever since the Unidac auction and bringing her home as The Hood. He knew that he felt things for her that he couldn't even begin to describe. Things that he'd never felt before. Was it love? Was it just an insane amount of passion, rooted in their undeniable chemistry?
Her kidnapping had opened his eyes and his damaged heart. Having her ripped from his life was something that had the potential of destroying the last bit of wholesomeness he had left. Losing her in any way was no option.
He realized that love wasn't even close to what he felt for her. It was so much more. And quite frankly, it scared him to feel so strongly about someone. He feared that not just his family name but also his crime fighting alter ego would put a gigantic target on the backs of his loved ones. Felicity was no exception.
As he stared into the dark sky, stars twinkling brightly, he realized that he wanted her to know. To hell with his fears and doubts. This beautiful woman deserved to know that she was loved and cherished. That he would go to the ends of the world for her. That the wanted everything with her. That she was the reason that he finally dared to hope for a happy future.
A few seconds went by. Then a few minutes.
"Felicity," he finally whispered, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear.
He felt her body shudder against him and she dipped her head before she sat up and moved away from his lap, his fingers slipping helplessly from her stomach.
"Don't run again," he pleaded. "Talk to me."
She turned around, eyes swimming with unshed tears. "I'm scared," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper, as her eyes sought out his gaze almost desperately.
He grabbed her hands under the water, squeezing them encouragingly.
She gave him the faintest of smiles before she continued with a trembling voice. "What I feel for you scares me. I've never felt like this about anyone. And it all happened so fast, one second I hated you and the next..." her voice broke off.
"I fell so hard and so fast for you, Oliver. This... us is so unbelievably intense and unlike anything I've ever experienced before. And I find myself asking a million of questions. What if you don't feel the same way? What if what I feel for you goes away as quickly as it came? What if you get bored with me? What if-"
"Felicity," he cut in sharply, unable to hold his tongue any longer. "I feel the same way. Exactly the same way," he assured her, cupping her face. "I'm scared, too. I'm scared of the sheer strength of my feelings for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'm terrified that my enemies will use my love for you against me. I've felt what it's like to almost lose you and I never ever wanna feel like that again. It almost tore me apart."
"You got me out of there," she reminded him softly.
He sighed. "Yes, and I'll always come for you," he vowed.
"I don't want to fight these feelings anymore, Oliver," she whispered. "I'm in love with you."
He surged forward, his lips meeting hers in a searing kiss. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that," he mumbled against her lips, and brought her in for another passionate kiss. "I'm in love with you, too."
He felt her lips curl up in a smile. "Look at us. Happy married couple. Who would've thought?"
"Not me," he admitted and sighed. "So what's next?"
She leaned back and looked him straight in the eye. "Now we get out of this jacuzzi because I'm starting to look like a prune."
"The sexiest prune," he interjected quickly.
She grinned cheekily at him in response before continuing, "And then we eat the tiramisu and if you're lucky you'll get to give me a massage."
He laughed loudly. God, this felt good.
Once they were standing on the porch again he wrapped a big fluffy towel around her and used it to pull her into his body.
"I love you, Mrs. Queen," he whispered against her lips and kissed her again.
He was rewarded with the biggest smile and a sultry kiss.
"And I love you, Mr. Queen."
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A/N: Once again, let me know what you think. I'm off to the jungle for the next 3 days so I hope I'll come back to a full inbox ;)
Title translation: To our faith add knowledge
Btw, it is highly unlikely that I'll update next week, so sit tight!