two: changes bring changes
When she stepped into the cafeteria, a smell that was a mixture of piss and peppermint reached her nose. Jibril tried her best not to retch and not so subtly, sprayed herself with perfume that came in a plastic bottle. The place was noisy too, making any conversation almost defeating to hear. Students were way too clumped up right next to each other in order to carry a proper conversation but in the process of doing so, they exchanged body heat, filling the air with an indescribable gross type of warmth.
Jibril, in other words, hated eating in the cafeteria.
As she strolled down the aisles of tables, she turned her head this way and that for signs of anyone she knew—anyone she could sit with. Her sister's words about her using "her free time cooped up with books" came to her mind and she tried brushing them away in attempt to affirm that she did indeed have friends or, at the very least, people she could be with.
And she did; it was just they weren't at their usual spot in the back of school, where they would squeeze together on the bench under the cherry blossom tree. If the weather happened to be bad that day, they would escape to the school library, where her friends weren't currently there either.
She finally gave up searching the whole of school and decided to seat herself at an empty table closest to the vending machines when—
"—Kura—mi, you should eat your veggies as well as your sweets!"
"Ah, it's fine Fii! Stop fussing over me! Look at Izuani!"
"Izuani-desu's diet has always consisted of sweets, desu~"
She twirled around, her eyes heating and mind spinning with thoughts. Her friends—Fii, Kurami, Izuani—were all seated at a table near the center of the cafeteria. The center, where it was in the middle of the chaos of the cafeteria. They've always hated that so why—
Why are they there?
Without her even noticing, she approached the table. All noise at the table stopped when she came into their view and—
—so did her stupor.
"J-Jibril!" Fii paused in her wiping, the sugary stain on Kurami dripping onto her hand. "H-how are you—"
"—what are you doing here," Kurami cut, business-like as usual.
Her friend's—or perhaps ex-friend's—words sank in her, as Jibril asked herself the same question. Clearly they didn't want her there. Clearly they had been distancing themselves from her. If she had thought about how distant her friends were to her recently, it was only a matter of time something happened.
She should backtrack; make up some excuse to run away now. She's Jibril of course; she shouldn't put up with this sort of treatment even if she was in the wrong.
But just as she opened her mouth, the sight of someone different to her usual group of friends stilled her.
Poised with legs crossing on top of one another and hands touching the brim of her legs, a red haired girl sat in the middle of this.
She couldn't believe her eyes.
"Steph...anie..."
The name stumbled out from tongue like an old spell, buried only to be dug up when least expected. Or...at least...Jibril had never suspected she would see her again.
—
"You're a demon!"
"Wh-what?" The accused four year old was backed into a corner, bewilderment spilled her on face as she was barricaded by children around her. There were no room for escape.
A hand grabbed her elbow with a tightening grip.
"You did it! You did it!"
Her throat wouldn't let out anything, as everything, in the form of her playmates, enclosed in on her. Their harsh words stung her, leaving her mind a dizzying state.
"You're a freak!"
"You're so cruel!"
"You don't feel anything!"
Out of the corner of her eyes, a flicker of fiery red hair and cool blue eyes caught Jibril's attention. When she was about to call out for her, something happened.
In an almost inaudible volume, the girl whispered, "It's your fault. Not mine."
—
"So, what are you up to?" Jibril bent down, leaning across the table to close the distance between her and Stephanie. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't know, you tell me," her challenging tone was nauseating, taunting for her to figure out the obvious. I'm stealing your friends obviously.
"Now, now, let's stop—" an arm waved in front of the two and very soon, Jibril was pulled backwards. Smiling brightly, Fii faced Jibril with an expression that nothing was out of the ordinary.
Was Fii always this annoying despite being nice?
"Jibril, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now."
"What?" She said it, stupidly; as though she hadn't gotten the message that she wasn't wanted. "I should leave? Why—"
"—because you're not wanted," Stephanie obnoxiously intervened and Jibril threw a glare at her.
"So," she was incredulous, borderline hysteric, "you mean to say—I'm replaced by her?"
Without anyone's response, she laughed, shoulders rolling and tears forming. It was the most hilarious joke she had—
"—yes, you are desu." The voice belonged to soft spoken Izuna, who usually kept to herself. Her eyes were animalistic, predatory. As though she was tired of all the dilly dallying. Jibril blinked back the stupor and nodded, fervently.
"Alright," she started to walk away, not meeting the smug glint glowing in Stephanie's eyes. "Alright. I'll leave. I'll leave."
To say she felt betrayed and lost was a complete lie. Rather than those depressing emotions, Jibril was annoyed and pissed. There was nothing more aggravating than having your friends whisked away by someone you loathed without your notice—let alone you actually finding out.
"Bitches," Jibril muttered, "they're just bitches."
No matter how much she told herself that lie, she couldn't comfort herself with it. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.
She sat herself in the only available table she could find, feeling tears well in her eyes.
Fuck, don't cry. Not now. Not for them.
Just as a chock readied to escape her trembling lips, Jibril heard something familiar. Sitting at a nearby table, a red haired boy and a white haired girl were engaged in a loud but busy conversation.
Stilled in her sorrows, Jibril squinted to make them out.
Funnily enough, they were alone, sitting with bright smiles on faces—the boy's more than the girl's—and enjoying the food laid out before them.
No one saw them together. How could they when such a scene was typical and boring? It made single people cry.
But Jibril was there to witness this and catch all the little moments. The way the boy blushed when their fingers touched. The way the boy reacted urgently when the girl spilled juice on herself. The way he looked at her with utter compassion and love enough to melt an entire romance novel into butter—
"What if different types of love, such as incest, come from judgments? If love is a product of people's perceptions, shouldn't it be okay to govern love with ethics?"Blackmail him. Blackmail him. Blackmail him. Blackmail him.
The girl squeezed her eyes shut, letting the tears roll down and wiping them off thereafter. She blew her nose and ran a hand through her hair, resolve filling her mind.
Forget them. Forget them.
"Alright," Jibril got up, "let's do this."
—
To the untrained eyes, there were no reactions.
When Jibril plopped down, the suggestive distance between her and him, neither the boy nor the girl stopped speaking. But there was a subtle shift in tone, the way their unrestrained happiness turned into caution. It was a fleeting transition but glaringly obvious in the boy's reaction which Jibril took note of as she 'joined' them.
"...and she glared at me, Shiro!"
"Nii, that's your fault."
"Why is that my fault? I just asked her the time!"
"...is that all?"
"W-well...I...did ask for her...sizes..."
"As I knew, nii is a pervert."
And the conversation went on. It was sickening how carefree their exchange was and how adoringly the brother's expression was. Maybe she was speaking from a single person's point of view, but she wished there was a law banning public displays of affections because this was just too damn unfair.
Save your flirting someplace else!
Jibril sighed, again going unnoticed by the two. With nothing else to do, she scanned the little girl, Shiro. She was pretty, in a doll like way. With her milky white skin and platinum blue hair which trickled down to her ankles, she appeared almost like a fairy. She was a holy angel from above.
No wonder her brother fell for her, disgusting as it might be.
"...what is your type anyways, nii?"
Shaken from her stupor, Jibril decided her move.
"Oi~" putting a gutter in their lively talk, her first spoken word startled the two. They looked at her with bewildered expressions—especially the boy's. Was he suspecting something?
She smiled to herself. If he did, it was all the better. This could get rather interesting.
"So I couldn't help but hear," she crossed her legs, leaning in towards them, "that you want to know your brother's tastes." She grinned, facing more towards the boy than the person she was answering to. The fact that he now sported an uncomfortable expression, which contrasted his relaxed one from before, was amusing to her.
How could one look so upset in such a short span of time?
"He likes fair skinned, unusual colored haired girls."
She caught him twitching slightly, as he probably understood her vague description.
Just as the little girl opened her mouth, the boy intervened.
"Shiro, don't listen to her." His stare was steely, trained on hers so to trap her. She didn't mind though. It was more fun this way. "She's just a stranger who's bugging us."
"A stranger? You're mistaken," she chirped. "I'm an ally. Your ally. I support you in your...strange affections."
Her emphasis had a definite effect on him, with the way his eyes grew large and mouth let out a barely audible gasp. Jibril hardly believed the impact she had on him.
This is too much fun.
"Well," he spoke dryly, "I find it hard for a bookworm to support anyone."
She felt herself withdraw back, unblinking. She didn't know him before yesterday so he most likely didn't know her. How the hell would he know what she was like?
The shock visibly displayed on her face, eliciting satisfaction on the boy's. His smug appearance said it all.
"Checkmate."
"Nii," the youngest looking member of the table finally intervened, her lifeless hazel eyes flickering from her and the boy. "...is she...your girlfriend?"
"What?!" Jibril and the boy yelped in unison. As the boy frantically explained to his sister—that no, no they were not an item—chills prickled throughout her body and a sense of disappointment came to her.
"What does he mean what?" She frowned, looking back at the sibling duo who was still engaged in a series of questionings and explanations. "It's normal for me to say what because look at him...but him?!"
Then again, liking your sister could blind your tastes.
Content with her reasoning, Jibril readied to continue teasing the brother when she was suddenly pulled away from the table in one sweep.
"Come on," her captor said, his expression glum. "We're going to talk. Alone."
"Eh? What?" She looked back at the table, the abandoned girl staring blankly at her before waving and sending her a 'fight on' sign. "Nooo! Let me go!"
—
"They always say to beware of the quiet ones," he sighed, leaning against a wall. "Who knew it was true?"
He had finally stopped dragging her around when he couldn't take her thrashing and complaining any longer. The fact that he lasted long enough to gain a reputation was stunning to Jibril, if a little bit admirable. What lengths would this boy go through preserve his deep, dark secret?
She glanced around their destination: an unused, outdoor staircase on the fifth floor which students hardly used due to the inconvenience of getting to it and how it basically led to nowhere. Basically, it was useless.
She turned back to the boy who was gazed straight at her. She stumbled back a bit.
"Wh-what is it?"
"Bookworm," the way he said it made her recoil, the very term defaming her instantly. He knew this, his gaze unchanging and unapologetic. "Do you know who you're messing with?"
"Do you?" She was quacking, nervous but she sure as hell would let him of all people know. To think she planned on helping him. This is what you get for being nice.
"Did you forget who you're messing with?
Silence filled the air between them, not a word exchanged between them. Sensing that she wasn't going to give up, the boy sighed.
"What do you want?"
Jibril blinked. She was surprised. The boy, who hid a dark secret and most likely many more, gave in so quickly. Well, never mind. She stretched out an offering hand.
"Your name?"
After staring at the hand for a few seconds, the boy finally accepted it. "Sora Nai," he gave it a firm pump. "Yours?"
"Bookworm," she replied coolly, producing the smallest of smile on his face. "Jibril. Jibril Flugel."
"So Jibril," traces of smile vanished from his visage as Sora released her hand. "What do you want?"
"I want to help you."
"Really? Help what? Tell me."
He was humoring her which grated her nerves. She was just about to snap at him when she noticed a flicker of hurt behind his hardened eyes and swallowed. It must be hard for him. It has to be…because…
"If love is a product of people's perceptions, shouldn't it be okay to govern love with ethics?"
"I'm supporting the forbidden love between siblings, that's all."
The boy sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his forehead. "Look, I don't know how you found out but, bookworm—"
"—Jibril."
"Jibril. If anything happens to Shiro, I won't stay still and—"
"—you'll what?" Jibril couldn't take it anymore. Sure, she knew she was literally destroying something precious, something taboo. But she assumed that a person wouldn't be this damn stubborn. "—did you not realize your situation and who has the upper hand here?"
"Are you…" he raised his head in disbelief, "…blackmailing me?"
"Congratulations. I'm glad you caught on so quickly," she said mockingly. Her eyes darkened. "You're damned right I am."
His shoulders noticeably twitched and he tensed. "Fine. I'll do anything. As long as you keep it a secret."
"Oh don't worry. I'll do more than just keep it a secret. I'll help you with your relationship."
"Really now?" He scoffed, leaning into a slouch. His gangly body hovered over hers, despite their not-so-large height gap. "Why would I need your help."
"I…" She looked to the side, trying to maximize the distance between her face and his. "…can befriend Shiro…get the know-how between girls that guys can't get. There are after all," she winked. "Things only girls can share."
Sora straightens back up, tapping his chin thoughtfully. After assessing what she pointed out, he asked, "Why are you helping me? You don't have to go this far."
"Whaaaat?" She pouted. "Are you denying my goodwill here? Why on earth would you say that?"
"Because," his body inclined dangerously against the railing, exposing his hair in the blowing wind. His scarlet hair swept wildly around his face as he spoke. "You feel just like me. You're arrogant."
"But it's not intelligence I'm criticizing you for. It's your arrogance."
She bristled; face heating up as she matched up Sora's description of her with her sister's. What the hell does that even mean?!
"At least I'm not sibling-zoned."
"H-hey! Why did you bring that up?" He was reddening, arms flailing to cover the redness. Big. Epic. Fail. "A-am not! Don't put it that way! It sounds—"
"—gross? It's 'cause you totally are gross," Jibril stated, matter-of-factly.
"Says the person who supports it."
"Don't diss my kindness!"
They sported matching scowls, desperately waiting for the lunch dismissal bell to ring so that they could finally, finally be rid of each other. But Jibril still didn't get to state her main intentions.
"Fine, fine," she surrendered, capturing Sora's wary attention. "I actually do have an ulterior motive."
Never before did she want to kill someone more than the moment Sora gave her the most incredulous stare she had ever seen.
Fuck myself for telling him. And fuck him.
Word Count: 2775
A/N: You guys have no idea how long this chapter took me to write. So bothersome and so boring. At least, it was so boring for me to write. I really hope it doesn't show in my writing.
Anyways, the ending may have been a bit abrupt but I was just so done with it. I still need to update my other fanfic, Forgetting to Remember (please read that if you have time! Yes, I'm shamefully self-advertising here, hah). QQ
Ending off, I'm so glad you've managed to last this far and hope to have your continued support! Let me know what you think in your reviews and thanks for all the favorites/follows!