Soooo, did everyone survive the Glee season premiere? *cries*
Dancing Through Life
by-andthenIfound5dollars
A/N:Probably the longest chapter yet! Enjoy baby Sophie and her crazy, sleep-deprived daddies!
11:05am
While Blaine concentrated on driving the three of them home, Kurt sat in the backseat watching their tiny daughter sleep in the safety of her car seat.
"How we doing back there?" Blaine asked, catching Kurt's eye in the rearview mirror.
"We're great," Kurt responded with a smile. He adjusted the soft green blanket that was keeping his daughter warm. "She's still asleep."
The light they were stopped at turned green and they were off again. Kurt was trying to stay as quiet as possible to let Blaine concentrate, but the adorableness of his daughter was really too much to handle.
"Oh my goodness, that was a big yawn," Kurt cooed softly to Sophie as he held one of her tiny hands in his own.
Sophie fluttered her eyes a bit, stretching her fists and whining. Kurt adjusted her black hat and rubbed his fingertips gently down her face as she whimpered slightly before her eyes fluttered back to sleep.
"We're almost home, baby," Blaine promised quietly.
Kurt smiled down at his daughter, at their daughter. A wave of love for his tiny family washed over him as he swallowed back tears, bit the side of his cheek, and adjusted Sophie's blanket again.
Blaine pulled into a parking spot about a block away from their building and sighed. "Ready?" he asked, turning around with a smile. "I'll drive the car to the garage later."
"Ready," Kurt agreed. Blaine opened his door as Kurt lifted the handle of the car seat and covered it with the green blanket before opening his door as well.
Blaine pulled their bags and the stroller out of the trunk of the car and Kurt pulled out the car seat with Sophie before shutting and locking both doors.
"You need a hand?" Kurt asked. Blaine had the diaper bag, their overnight bag and the stroller.
"Nah, I got this," Blaine shook his head with a smile. "You just get her."
They walked down the block together and into the lobby of their building. The elevator ride was quiet but quick, and before they knew it, the small family was at the threshold of the home they would share. Blaine unlocked the door and held it open for Kurt.
He set down the stroller and bags while Kurt walked down the hallway and into the living room. He set the car seat down on the coffee table and pulled the blanket off.
"Welcome home, sweet-pea," Blaine cooed after he followed the two of them down the hall and sat down on the couch next to his husband.
"I wanna get her out but she is sleeping so peacefully, I don't want to wake her," Kurt mused with a fond grin.
"Oh no, honey," Blaine started, reaching in to unbuckle her from the car seat. "I read that these things scrunch their bodies down and can make it hard for them to breathe for long periods of time."
"That can't be right, Blaine," Kurt argued, but smiled as he watched Blaine lift the tiny baby from the carrier and kiss her cheek before he cuddled her close to his chest, stretching back against the couch. "Otherwise long car rides would be impossible."
Blaine shrugged as he closed his eyes. "I dunno," he insisted with a yawn and a smile. "I read an article about it."
Kurt laughed softly, threading his fingers with Blaine's on Sophie's back.
"We should probably stop reading so much," he said, and Blaine huffed out a laugh. "Otherwise we'll turn into 'those' parents."
"Well, I can't imagine us having too much time for reading now that she's here." Blaine yawned, nodding toward the sleeping bundle of baby on his chest.
Kurt smiled and sighed, "Probably," he agreed, cupping their daughter's head with his hand and leaning over to kiss her temple. "We should get her to bed, unpack and eat something before she needs to."
"Could we just lie here for a little while?" Blaine asked. He set his head against Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt wanted to protest. Sophie needed to sleep in other places besides their arms, and they needed to eat while they both had the chance.
He was fast asleep with his hand firmly on Sophie's tiny back and his face nuzzled into the top of Blaine's head before he could give it another thought.
12:45pm
"Hi, sweetie," Blaine's mom Lena sang when Kurt opened the door.
"Hey Lena," Kurt grinned as she pulled him into a stiff hug.
"I brought food," she announced, lifting two bags of groceries as well as a large pink gift bag.
"And another baby gift," Kurt laughed. "We told you not to get us anything else; the bassinet was more than enough."
Lena giggled softly as she set all three bags on the counter in the kitchen.
"Well actually, this is 'from' Cooper," Lena explained, smiling as she put finger quotes around from. "He e-mailed me the gift he wanted to get you guys and asked if I would bring it over when I was here, as he won't be able to make it for a while."
Kurt laughed and shrugged as if to say 'whadya gonna do?'
"I brought you guys some of that pesto," Lena said after dropping the two grocery bags on the counter and washing her hands at the sink. "From that deli I love. I always try to stop in when I'm in New York."
"Ooo and cheesecake too," Kurt laughed as he pulled out three fresh slices of New York cheesecake from Junior's. "You know us so well."
Lena nodded with a smile and turned around just as Blaine walked in from the nursery holding Sophie wrapped in a fluffy white blanket. They had quickly realized that while adorable, the outfit Kurt had designed and decorated for Sophia to come home in was a little too impractical for a newborn to be wearing for a long stretch of time. They had changed her into one of her more comfortable outfits at her very first diaper change.
"Hey Mama," Blaine called quietly, smiling as his mom's face lit up. "I thought I heard you in here."
"Oh my goodness, there she is," Lena cooed softly as Blaine transferred the baby into his mom's arms. Lena kissed Blaine's cheek. "Hi sweetheart," she murmured to her son before looking back down at her new granddaughter.
"Mom, meet Sophia Elizabeth," Blaine said. "And Sophie, this is your Lola."
"Hello Miss Sophia," Lena cooed rocking from side to side slightly and biting her lip. "Oh guys, she is gorgeous."
Blaine smiled with pride as he took Kurt's hand in his own.
"Look at her little nose," Lena exclaimed, running her finger gently down Sophie's face. "That is all Kurt," she decided, lifting her head to smile at Kurt.
"I dunno, that hair is all Blaine," Kurt preened, putting his hand on his husband's lower back.
"Yeah, oh gosh Blaine had horrible jaundice when he was born," Lena lamented, shaking her head with the memory. "All that melanin in his skin, I'm glad it looks like you guys won't have to deal with that…it's pretty scary. They wouldn't even let me take him home for almost three days."
Kurt nodded.
"You'll just have to wait till she gets a little bigger to see who she really looks like."
"Come on Mom, come sit down," Blaine told her as they moved into the living room.
"I'll get lunch together." Kurt announced, wanting to give Blaine some time with his mom as he moved into the kitchen.
"So, have you talked to your father?"
"Yeah, he called last night," he answered with a sigh, shaking his head before leaning down to kiss Sophie's head.
"What did he say?" Lena asked as she patted her granddaughter's bottom softly and looked up at her son.
Blaine shrugged. "He said he sent a check."
Lena nodded and put her hand on Blaine's shoulder. "He's trying, sweetie."
"The thing is, he's really not…I don't really want to talk about him, Mom," Blaine pleaded, shaking his head again. "I wanna be happy today and talking about Dad tends to make me…" Blaine didn't finish his sentence, because Lena was already backing off and nodding her assent.
"So, Sophia huh?" she asked, changing the subject.
From the kitchen, Kurt sliced some French bread and listened as the conversation moved back to their daughter and away from the awkwardness that Blaine's dad tended to make things, even when he wasn't present.
Kurt pushed down the anger he immediately felt well up inside him. Blaine was right; they needed to stay happy today, and bringing up things they couldn't change was no way to spend their daughter's first day home.
"Hey guys, lunch is ready," Kurt called grabbing a bottle of sparkling water and some glasses for the table. "Lena, if she is still out you can just lay her down in that basket there," Kurt said, pointing to the basket bassinet that was sitting in the middle of the table.
Lena nodded as she carefully laid the sleeping baby down and covered her snugly with the blanket, pausing to make sure she stayed asleep.
"Is this part of the bassinet I got for you guys?" she asked sitting down and pointing to the basket.
"Yeah, it's really awesome!" Blaine nodded enthusiastically. "The base is high enough that it's even with our bed, and it has this rocking thing it sits in as well…but also we can move just this part around by the handles," Blaine explained as he accepted a plate from Kurt with a thank you.
"So it was a good purchase, huh?" Lena asked, laughing.
"Very much so," Kurt agreed with a smile. "I have a feeling we are going to get a lot of use out of it."
The three kept up an easy conversation during lunch. Lena asked how Mel's delivery went, and how she was doing now. Blaine told her about how they had decided on the name Sophia. Certain subjects were avoided, as per usual…but a tiny human was usually a balm to unhealed wounds, and the conversation focused mainly on her.
After they finished eating, Blaine opened the gift 'from' Cooper. They all laughed at the black and green romper that said "My Uncle is better than You!" and the Monster themed pants.
Blaine laughed as he laid the romper across the sleeping baby and took a picture of it to send to his crazy older brother with a heartfelt, Thank you!
Lena stayed long enough to give Sophie a bottle at three, but headed out soon after.
"I'll be at the Plaza if you need anything," she told them, alternating between hugging Kurt and Sophie, and then Blaine as she talked. "I have a business meeting tonight, but when I talked to Carole yesterday, she invited me over for dinner tomorrow if that's okay?"
"Yeah, of course," Kurt assured her with a smile and Blaine nodded. "They should be in tomorrow morning."
"Great," Lena replied, grinning. She leaned over to kiss Sophie in Kurt's arms one more time. "Ahh, okay…bye guys. I mean it-call me if you need anything."
"We will, bye Mom," Blaine called as they watched her walk down the hall toward the elevator.
"Bye sweetie."
"Leave it to my mom to schedule a meeting while she is in New York for the birth of her granddaughter," Blaine attempted to joke when they shut the door. He was smiling, but Kurt could see the hurt underneath it.
Kurt smiled as he leaned in to kiss Blaine lightly, holding their daughter close to his chest.
"Love you," Kurt whispered to him.
Blaine kept his eyes closed as he chased Kurt's lips for a second kiss before replying softly.
"Love you too, both of you," he finished, kissing the top of Sophie's head.
7:10pm
"Hey, we brought lasagna." Rachel promised when a bleary eyed Kurt answered the knock at the door.
"And wine," Sam added, holding up a bottle behind his wife.
"Come on in," Kurt answered quietly. "But keep it down, Blaine and the baby are still asleep." He motioned to the couch in the living room.
Blaine was sprawled out on his stomach, one hand holding firmly to where the basket bassinet sat in its rocker with Sophie fast asleep in it, his leg dangling off the side of the couch and resting on the floor.
"Oh, look at that little princess," Rachel whispered as she handed the foil wrapped baking dish to Sam and wrapped her arms around Kurt. "She is stunning, Kurt."
Kurt smiled as he hugged his friend back.
Sam beamed as he set the dish and bottle on the table and pulled Kurt into a hug as soon as Rachel let him go.
"Well done, man," he said, muffled into Kurt's neck.
"You guys wanna pop that cork now? I could use a little drink." Kurt slid the (vegetarian, he assumed) lasagna into the oven to heat up.
Rachel laughed softly but nodded.
"Already?" she asked. Sam walked over and sat in the armchair next to the couch so he could stare at his goddaughter without disturbing her.
"We had a little bit of a Diva moment earlier. Little Miss Thing was ready to eat before it was time," Kurt explained, pulling four glasses down and handing them to Rachel who began pouring.
"Hey," Blaine mumbled when he woke himself up and saw Sam sitting across from him. "Hey guys," he finished shaking his head and sitting up.
"Hey dude," Sam smiled, standing up to engulf his best friend in a hug. "Rachel wanted to bring you guys some dinner…we won't stay long," he promised as Blaine shook his head and hugged Sam back just as tight.
"No, hey, I'm glad you're here," Blaine assured him. He walked over and kissed Rachel's cheek before shuffling around the counter to Kurt.
"Glass of wine?" Kurt asked as Blaine wrapped his arm around his waist and buried his face into his husband's shoulder.
"I feel like I should say no and stick to highly caffeinated drinks…but yes, wine me."
Kurt chuckled softly as he kissed Blaine's forehead and handed him the glass Rachel had just finished pouring.
"The lasagna I made is full of veggies to give you energy,"
"It smells great Rach, thank you," Blaine praised, taking another sip of his wine as he walked around the counter with Kurt following, their hands linked between them.
Rachel followed them into the living room and sat on Sam's lap. She smiled at her friends then looked down to the sleeping bundle of precious. Blaine sat down on the couch, but Kurt knelt on the floor next to the basket.
"So, Sophia…or Sophie?" she asked.
"Either," Blaine nodded as Kurt leaned down to adjust the blanket before sitting back. "We've been calling her both," he finished looking over at his husband and daughter.
"She should be waking up anytime, then you can hold her," Kurt promised. "We have learned to never wake a sleeping baby…we don't mess with her when she is sleeping." Rachel nodded, chuckling.
The four friends started chatting idly for a few moments, but Sophie didn't stay asleep long and Rachel looked expectant, so Kurt gave in.
Sam stood up and let Rachel have the chair he was sitting in so Kurt could lay the baby as gently as he could in Rachel's arms.
"Sophia, this is your Auntie Rachel…" Kurt sang softly, before kissing her forehead and standing up.
"Hello," Rachel cooed quietly, rocking side to side as Sam knelt down on the floor next to her. "You are so beautiful, yes, you are."
Sam lifted the finger that Sophie had a baby death grip around while Rachel continued to coo and stare down at her beautiful little goddaughter.
"I talked to Burt this morning," he started, looking up to where Kurt was sitting on the couch, his husband's arms wrapped around him.
"Oh yeah?" Kurt stifled a yawn into his hand.
"Yeah, their flight gets in at noon tomorrow, so I said I would be there to pick them up and bring them back here".
"Thanks, Sam," he smiled as Sam demanded his turn with Sophie and Rachel reluctantly handed her over.
Sophie was a little crabby while they ate dinner. It was getting closer to time for her to eat again and she was really only content if someone was holding her. Rachel, of course, was more than happy to oblige and barely touched her food.
"She asleep?" Rachel asked quietly, poking her head in. After dinner, Rachel and Sam stayed to clean up the kitchen while Kurt fed and rocked Sophie in the nursery.
He looked up with a smile."No, she's the most awake I've seen her." Rachel slipped in the room and knelt down on the floor next to them.
"She is so beautiful, Kurt," she whispered as he rocked back and forth, staring down into Sophie's wide open eyes. He looked up at his friend and nodded.
"We're gonna head out, but we'll be back tomorrow with your parents," she promised, running her finger lightly across the top of Sophie's hat.
"Thank you so much for dinner," Kurt told her as she stood up and kissed his temple lovingly.
"No problem," she smiled, leaning down to kiss the top of Sophie's hat covered head. Sam stuck his head in the door and waved to Kurt, assuring as well that they would see them the next day.
Kurt continued to rock while staring down at his daughter. She was making the most adorable croaking and baby noises Kurt had ever heard. His heart was melting each time she blinked and moved her tiny lips in the sucking motion. He heard Blaine say goodbye to Sam and Rachel before coming into the nursery and kneeling on the floor next to them.
"I know I should probably put her down," Kurt grinned as he looked over to his husband, holding Sophie's tiny hand in his. "But she is being so calm and quiet and staring right at me…I can't bring myself to."
Blaine laughed as he leaned over to kiss the top of their tiny daughter's head.
12:15am
Sophie was snug and warm in a white and gray dotted sleeper, wrapped securely in a blue receiving blanket, and sleeping soundly in her bassinet. A few feet away, her daddies were also sound asleep, curled around each other where they could both see into the bassinet, just in case she needed one of them. The loft was dark but for a small single light in the hallway bathroom.
The only noise was the whirring of the white noise machine in the corner, and the slow and steady breaths from all three members of the tiny family.
1:42am
"Oh my god!" Blaine cried over Sophie's screams. "It's on the wall! How did she get it on the wall?!"
"Shit!" Kurt muttered as Sophie kicked her legs and screamed even louder. "I need the other container of wipes, I think they're in the bag in the living room."
"Yeah, I'll grab them," Blaine responded, hurrying out of the bedroom.
"Sophia, baby," Kurt pleaded, close to tears himself. "You have to let papa clean you up, okay?"
Sophie paid no heed as her face screwed up again. She kicked her tiny legs and wailed, her little chin wobbling pitifully.
"You are barely three days old! How are you this strong?" he mumbled to himself as Sophie fought against his hand.
"FUUUUUUCK!" Blaine yelled as a giant crash rang through the loft, sounding like a herd of elephants had taken up residence in their living room.
"Blaine!" Kurt cried as Blaine limped into the bedroom. "What happened, are you okay?" he asked as Blaine handed him the wipes and took a washcloth to the wall.
"I tripped over the car seat by the couch," Blaine stammered, wiping furiously at the now poop covered wall.
It took almost ten minutes, but finally Sophie was clean and in a new sleeper, cuddling against Kurt's shoulder while Blaine started a load of laundry and jumped in the shower.
"Do you think we could get another hour or so of sleep before you need to eat again?" Kurt asked his daughter, bouncing her gently as they walked through the kitchen.
"Big dreams, babe." Blaine remarked walking into the kitchen while rubbing a towel over his wet and curl crazy hair.
"Hey, if dreams are all I got, a guy can dream." Kurt insisted with a tired smile that didn't totally reach his eyes, kissing his daughter's head.
3:40am
Blaine held a bottle up to Sophie's mouth, letting his head fall against the back of the couch. Kurt was fast asleep, curled into himself on the couch next to Blaine, his head pillowed next to Blaine's leg.
Sophie's eyes were closed, but she was still sucking intently on the bottle as Blaine did his very best to keep them both upright.
A few minutes later, Sophie was fast asleep. Blaine gently pulled the nipple of the bottle out of her mouth and set it on the table next to the couch as he situated the baby on his lap to burp her.
Blaine made the decision to let Sophie sleep in her basket on the floor rather than wake Kurt for them all to go back to the bedroom…the couch would do just fine until their little diva-in-training woke them up again.
5:08am
"No rest for the weary?" Blaine asked his extremely alert daughter as he carefully placed her on the changing table.
"Could we not have a repeat of last night, please? Nobody needs projectile poop at five in the morning," he asked with a tired chuckle as he unbuttoned her sleeper and made sure he had plenty of wipes and diapers. "And I don't think the bruise on daddy's leg is ever gonna go away."
Blaine smiled as Sophie brought her balled up fists to her chin and yawned before desperately trying to focus her eyes.
"You think you're so cute, don't ya?" Blaine cooed with a smile, changing her diaper as quickly as possible. "Well, you would be right, cause you are…yes."
"Whadya say we rock for a bit, let your papa sleep in the living room for a while before you need to eat again?" Blaine asked, holding his daughter close to his chest and kissing her temple. He grabbed the pacifier he had brought with him and settled down in the rocking chair.
There was only a little sunlight coming in the window in the nursery. Just enough that Blaine didn't need to turn on any lights as he sat down and cuddled his daughter close to his chest, singing and humming a melody he made up as they sat there.
They both dozed off and were in the exact same position an hour later when Kurt found them. He snapped a few pictures on his phone before waking the two of them up so Sophie could eat again.
7:05am
"Thirty minutes?" Kurt asked as he held his daughter tucked into one arm. "That's all we get?
Sophia really wasn't a big fan of the whole "take my clothes off and change my diaper" thing her dads kept insisting on, and she wasn't about to let either of them forget it. She started up her wailing cry almost as soon as Kurt started in on the snaps of her sleeper. He looked up when he heard the intercom in the hallway buzz. By the time he finished changing the baby, Blaine was closing the door behind the delivery service they had hired to transport milk back and forth between them and Mel, who was still in the hospital.
"I hate that it came so early, it means they woke her up super early," Blaine fretted, setting a plate of toast down on the coffee table and plopping down on the floor with his own steaming cup of coffee.
Kurt nodded as he looked over to his daughter. She was sucking intently on her pacifier and had been lulled back to sleep by the rocking motion of her basket, her fists balled up and tucked under her chin.
"She's coming home today," Kurt remembered suddenly, picking up his phone to check the reservation on the car he had ordered to pick her up.
Blaine switched on the TV to some mindless Bravo rerun as he munched on his toast and read the Entertainment section of the paper Kurt had left out for him.
11:15am
"How are we out of diapers already!?" Kurt all but cried over Sophie's screams. "It hasn't even been a full day yet!"
"All we have is size two and they are WAY too big," Blaine told him as he attempted to soothe his daughter.
"Wait, what about size 1?" Kurt asked, looking in the closet. He'd been sure there was a whole other box of newborn sized diapers, but Blaine was right...the only size they had was size two.
"I don't think they make those…" Blaine trailed off.
"That doesn't make any sense, of course there are size 1 diapers, there have to be! You can't just skip from newborn to size 2! That's ridiculous!"
"I don't know what to tell you, Kurt! We don't have any, so regardless if they exist on the planet or not, they don't exist in our home…" Blaine shot back, raising his voice to as close as yelling as he would allow around Sophie.
"Alright, fine! I'll run down the block for some newborn ones," Kurt snapped angrily as he walked back to their bedroom to find something presentable enough to wear outside. He hadn't showered since the day before and his hair was hanging limply over his forehead.
"I don't know why you're snapping at me!" Blaine called from the nursery, still trying to keep his voice even. "I didn't do this on purpose, you know."
Kurt pulled on one of his NYADA hoodies and wrangled into his loosest fitting jeans. He ignored Blaine for a moment as he decided a hat was his only recourse against his stubborn and annoying hair.
"I just don't understand why we have a closet full of diapers, and none of them fit her!" Kurt yelled from the bathroom where he put some cover-up over the dark circles under his eyes.
"It's not a conspiracy, Kurt." Blaine snapped back with the least amount of bitterness he could muster. Sophie was still muttering, but had calmed down a bit as Blaine swayed with her in his arms. "I didn't throw away all the newborn diapers just to piss you off."
Kurt sighed, his shoulders sagging as he walked back into the nursery.
"I know, I'm sorry," he finally conceded, running his hand down Blaine's back. "I think I'm more upset with myself for not realizing it sooner…can I get you anything while I'm out?"
"No, I'm okay. We have plenty of food and our coffee maker seems to be doing its job," Blaine replied, not meeting Kurt's eyes as Kurt leaned over and kissed Sophie's cheek before leaning in for a peck from Blaine.
"Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can," Kurt assured him as he grabbed his coat, keys, and wallet, and walked out the door.
It was cold outside when Kurt walked through the front doors of their building. He wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck and slipped his sunglasses on as he walked the four blocks to the Duane Reade they used to pick up last minute items.
The diapers were more expensive than they would have been at Babies-R-Us…but it was a trip of necessity and Kurt bought two of the bigger boxes to make sure they wouldn't run out before they could make the trip to pay a more reasonable price.
On the short walk back home, Kurt stopped at the quirky little coffee shop on the corner and ordered two (sugary, completely bad for you, filled with caffeine and chocolate, and topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles) coffee drinks for him and his husband.
The smile on Blaine's face when he walked in the door told him he was forgiven for being an ass for no reason.
12:15pm
Kurt jumped in the shower after Blaine fed Sophie her bottle. She had cried...well, screamed, for thirty minutes before it was time for her to eat again.
Kurt's nerves were frayed and Blaine just wanted to shut his eyes. After Sophie had hungrily sucked the entire bottle down, Blaine handed her over to Kurt to burp her and then promptly fell asleep on the couch.
Kurt laid his sleeping daughter down in the basket right next to where Blaine was passed out on the couch and headed toward the bathroom.
His tiny family was still fast asleep after he had dried off, moisturized, and dressed. He knew it wasn't going to be long before Soph was up again, so he took the opportunity for a nap as well and curled into the space behind Blaine on the couch. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and Blaine unconsciously searched until he found Kurt's hand with his own.
They slept.
1:08pm
Voicemail from Sam Evans
Hey Blaine, I just picked up Kurt's parents from the airport…we were on our way to you guys but you didn't answer your phone and Carole says we can't come if you guys are asleep…and now I am getting death glare from her…yeah call me back when you wake up, okay?
Voicemail from Dad
Hey Bud, we just landed a little while ago and wanna see that baby…and you guys, of course! Call me when you wake up. Love you.
Text from Rachel Berry
WAKE UP! NEED ME SOME BABY SNUGGLES and I'm probably gonna have to wrestle her from your parents.
Blaine woke up to his phone ringing from their bedroom where it was still on the charger from last night.
As carefully as he could, he unwrapped Kurt's arms from his waist and covered him with a blanket before standing up and heading back to the bedroom.
The call had long since gone to voicemail, but a quick check told him it had been his mom, although he had missed several from both Sam and Rachel as well.
"Hi sweetie," his mom sang when she answered. "I just got a call from Burt and Carole, they just landed but couldn't get a hold of you guys."
"Yeah," Blaine yawned. "We fell asleep on the couch."
"That's what we figured," Lena answered cheerfully. "Just give them a call, now that you're awake, honey."
Blaine nodded his head a few times before he realized that his mom couldn't actually see him.
"Yeah, I will…thanks Mom."
"No problem. How's my princess?" Lena asked.
"Loud," Blaine answered truthfully, and Lena laughed. "But wonderful."
"Well, she is your and Kurt's daughter…it's no surprise that she would have a nice set of pipes."
He nodded again before telling his mom he needed to call Burt, but they would see her later that evening.
He stood up and walked back into the living room. Both Kurt and Sophie were still asleep, and sure enough the notification light was blinking on Kurt's phone. Using his own phone he called Burt and told them to come on over. Kurt was still asleep, but Sophie would surely be up soon and then no one would be sleeping anymore. Burt laughed and said they were on their way.
Their loft was messier than normal, but he just didn't have the energy to clean up. He threw the clothes and blankets strewn around the living room into a laundry basket and hid it behind the door to the laundry room. Then he stacked the dishes in the sink and wiped the counters down with a clean-up wipe and called it good enough.
It was just their family, most of whom had been where they were now and would realize cleaning was too far down on their priority list to give it much more than a second thought.
Kurt and Sophie were still fast asleep when Blaine heard the soft knocking at the door.
"Hey, kiddo," Burt laughed, pulling Blaine into a bear hug when Blaine opened the door with a tired smile. Carole was right behind him, both of them carrying a grocery bag and gift bag apiece.
"Hey guys," Blaine greeted them happily as Carole pulled him into a hug as well, and he motioned for them to come in. "Where's Sam and Rachel?" Blaine asked quietly as he shut the door and led them down the hall and toward the dining room table.
"I told them to head home," Carole answered taking the grocery bags into the kitchen, Burt following so they could both wash their hands. "They were here yesterday and if you guys were asleep, I figured a lot of people might be a little much all at once."
"At least someone gets that," Kurt croaked, smiling as he stood up from the couch. "I'm glad you guys came, though," he finished as his dad pulled him into his arms and Kurt laid his head on his dad's shoulder.
"No place else we would be," Burt said softly into his son's hair.
Kurt pulled away and smiled as he walked over to Carole.
"Hi sweetheart," she murmured softly hugging him tightly as Blaine looked on.
"Well," Kurt said motioning for them to come into the living room. "Come meet your granddaughter."
Burt and Carole sat down on the couch as Kurt pulled Sophie up from the basket, kissed her cheek and laid her in his dad's arms.
"Dad, this is Sophia Elizabeth Anderson-Hummel," Kurt cooed softly. "And Soph, this is your Grandpa and Grandma Hummel."
"Hi," Burt breathed out as he cradled his tiny granddaughter against his chest. Carole wrapped her arm around Burt's shoulder and looked down into Sophie's little face.
"Guys, she is so gorgeous," Carole whispered as Sophie stretched and whimpered in Burt's arms.
Kurt smiled as he backed up and perched on the arm of the chair where Blaine was sitting. Blaine wrapped his arm around his husband's waist and smiled up at him.
"What do you think, Dad?"
Burt shook his head as he held his finger out for Sophie to grab a hold of.
"I think she is the most beautiful thing I've seen since I held you for the first time," Burt responded, looking up.
"And just as loud," Blaine murmured, masking a yawn into Kurt's side as Kurt turned to pretend to look offended.
"You guys do look a little tired," Carole said looking over to her sons and smiling. "Rough night?"
"Little Miss decided to projectile poop all over the wall at about three am," Kurt confessed, shaking his head. "And she didn't sleep more than an hour or so in a row all night long.
"That sounds stunningly like what you put your mom and me through," Burt laughed, looking up from smiling at Sophie.
"Yeah, yeah…I've heard it all before," Kurt groaned with an eye-roll. "We are getting our comeuppance from the hell we put our parents through."
"Oh gosh, Finn was an absolute nightmare," Carole stated thoughtfully with a fond, wistful smile. Kurt looked over at her and smiled softly at the mention of his brother. "I don't think I slept more than an hour at a time for three months after he was born. Of course, I was doing it mostly by myself."
"Love you," Kurt mouthed to his husband when he turned to glance at him. Blaine closed his eyes and sighed contently.
"You two look dead on your feet," Carole decided, standing up. Burt leaned back against the couch, his eyes exclusively for his granddaughter. She looked down at her husband and rolled her own eyes fondly.
"Why don't you guys go get a few hours of sleep, huh? We'll make some dinner and keep an eye on this one," she promised, nodding toward Burt and Sophie. "And Sophia, too," she finished with a wink.
Kurt laughed softly as he pulled Blaine up.
"I feel like I should say no, but I also feel like I can't keep my eyes open," he admitted before leaning down to kiss Sophie's forehead.
"Go on," Carole insisted, waving them toward their bedroom as Blaine leaned down to kiss his daughter as well, and then let Kurt lead him by the hand. "We'll be fine out here and you guys need the recharge."
"She needs a bottle at three, so we'll be up by then," Kurt promised as Carole nodded and shooed them into their bedroom.
Blaine was already crawling into bed before Kurt could get the door shut.
"I'm gonna set my alarm for an hour," Kurt yawned as Blaine frowned. He shimmied out of his jeans and dropped them to the floor before nodding.
"Yeah, an hour sounds good…not too long, but long enough," he babbled, making grabby hands for Kurt to lie down as well. Kurt chuckled as he 'little spooned' his way into his husband's arms and was asleep within seconds.
5:05pm
Blaine woke with a start, his heart racing when he didn't see Sophie right next to him. He sat up in a panic before his brain caught up and remembered that Carole had sent them in for a nap.
"Whoa," he said quietly to himself when he looked at his watch. "Some nap."
Kurt was still fast asleep beside him. Blaine wouldn't say he felt refreshed from the nap, but at least he didn't feel like he could fall asleep standing up. He stopped in their bathroom to splash his face with water, relieve himself, and wash his hands.
Blaine debated waking Kurt as he pulled his jeans back on, but decided against it. He would probably get a snarky comment about letting him sleep, but decided it was worth it if Kurt could get a little more uninterrupted sleep. He tip-toed out and closed their bedroom door quietly behind him.
"Hey, sleeping beauty," he heard Burt call softly from the chair in the living room.
"Hi," Blaine waved with a smile as he walked down the hall. "Sorry we slept so long."
"Oh no, honey, you needed it," Carole told him, coming around the corner to hug him.
"Has he given you a turn yet?" Blaine asked, motioning to Burt and Sophie cuddled in the chair together as he returned the warm hug.
Carole rolled her eyes. "For about five minutes, and only cause I was the one who changed her diaper."
"Hey! It was totally longer than five minutes!" Burt called indignantly. "And I changed one too!"
"Yes you did, dear," she placated her husband and rolled her eyes to Blaine again. "Kurt still asleep?"
He nodded and followed his mother-in-law into the kitchen where she was cooking up a storm.
"Yeah, and I might be in some hot water for not waking him, but…" he trailed off shrugging. "This looks and smells amazing, Carole…you didn't have to do all this."
There was food everywhere. Carole had made some kind of beef roast that smelled delicious. Pots on the stove held mashed potatoes, string beans and corn on the cob, and some kind of gravy/sauce for the beef. There was a tray of rolls ready to go in the oven and two bottles of wine breathing on the counter.
The air smelled spicy like apples and cinnamon, which could only mean apple pie in the oven.
"Oh, it's not that much," Carole insisted flapping the dishtowel in Blaine's direction. "Besides, it's what you do when someone has a baby…cook and bring them lots of food. Anyway, like I could do anything else with Mister BabyHog over there, stealing all the baby goodness."
Blaine laughed as Burt stage whispered to his granddaughter.
"Don't you listen to em, Sophia…you just sit here with your grandpa Burt and ignore everything they say."
"Did she eat?" Blaine asked, picking up the schedule he and Kurt had been keeping from the table.
"Like a champ," Carole answered opening the oven door to check on her pies. "I saw the schedule so I wrote it down, but her diaper has just been wet so far." Blaine nodded and asked Carole if there was anything he could do.
"No, sweetie, I think we are all good in here. Your mom and Rachel and Sam should be here in about thirty minutes or so."
Blaine nodded as he headed back into the living room and looked over to Burt. He was just about to ask if he could have her for a few minutes when Kurt stumbled through their bedroom door.
He looked over and clutched his chest and took a deep breath.
"Oh, thank god," he groaned quietly to himself, taking great gulps of air into his lungs. Blaine hurried over to him but didn't touch him quite yet. Years had taught him to be cautious when Kurt was scared or surprised…but Kurt sunk into his arms automatically.
"Hey, it's okay…" Blaine soothed, wrapping his arms around Kurt's shoulders. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you just yet."
"I was having this dream about…like zombies or something…I don't even really remember, I just know I woke up and neither of you were next to me and I almost had a heart attack," Kurt said into Blaine's neck, his voice quivering slightly as Blaine held on tighter.
"I'm so sorry," Blaine said again, kissing the side of Kurt's head.
"Hey, bud," Burt interrupted. He had walked over, holding Sophie close to his chest.
"Oh, god, dad…I'm sorry," Kurt wobbled, pulling away from Blaine slightly.
"No, hey…that's not," Burt smiled and used one hand to clap his son on the back softly. "Welcome to the club."
Kurt took a deep breath and looked at his dad questioningly. "The club?" he asked and Burt smiled.
"The Being a Parent club," Burt answered shrugging. "This will help," he finished as he handed the still sleeping baby over to her papa.
"Hi, sweetheart," Kurt cooed softly as he gratefully accepted his daughter and held her close to his chest. Blaine rubbed up and down his husband's arms. Burt walked back to the kitchen to give his sons a minute alone.
"I feel so stupid," Kurt admitted quietly as he nuzzled the top of his daughter's hat covered head.
"Hey, no," Blaine told him, kissing Kurt gently. "I did the same thing when I first woke up."
Kurt nodded but closed his eyes as he swayed on the spot, Sophie secure in his arms.
"Hungry?" Blaine asked with a knowing smile. He knew Kurt could smell the copious amounts of food Carole had made for everyone.
Kurt opened his eyes and smiled. "Yeah, actually," he said as they walked over and into the kitchen.
After a diaper change, a turn with Sophie for Carole, and the rest of their family showing up, the seven of them, well eight technically, sat down to dinner.
After dinner, Rachel and Kurt cleaned up the kitchen while Lena fed her granddaughter a bottle in the nursery with Blaine.
"Kurt, honey," Carole asked coming up behind him. "Would it be okay if I took this food down to Mel?" She held up two plates covered with foil.
"Oh, god yeah…that would be great, actually. I was just thinking about her," Kurt answered with a sigh and a smile. "I called earlier, but she must have been sleeping."
"I'll go with you, Carole," Rachel offered from behind Kurt as she dried her hands on a dishtowel. "If that's okay? I'd like to see her."
"Sure, honey," Carole said with a smile. "6c right, Kurt?"
"D," Kurt corrected with a nod. "Tell her we will be by tomorrow morning, if she's feeling up to it."
"Okay, we'll be right back," Carole called as she and Rachel headed out the door.
Lena and Blaine were still in the nursery with Sophie, so Kurt decided to plop himself down on the couch by his dad and pretend to be interested in the game he and Sam were watching…when really he's just going to flip through a magazine and half listen to their conversation.
Kurt didn't realize he had dozed off until he felt someone sit down beside him.
"She asleep?" Kurt asked Blaine without opening his eyes.
"No, mom's in rocking her," Blaine answered with a yawn. "Where's Carole and Rach?"
Kurt sighed as he cuddled in a little closer to his husband. "Umm, they took food down to Mel."
"She sent us back with more milk," Rachel called as she and Carole walked back in and down the hallway. Kurt stood up to take the bag from Rachel.
"Kurt, she also said that you are under no circumstances allowed to come and check on her…direct quote; 'Take care of that baby, I'll come to YOU in the morning to nurse her'." Carole finished with a grin.
"Was she okay?" Blaine asked, standing up and heading into the kitchen as well. "Was she sleeping?"
"She was fine, resting on the couch," Rachel assured him as Kurt measured the milk into clean bottles and labeled them before putting them in the refrigerator.
"Good," he sighed, taking a small bite of pie crust that was threatening to fall as Lena walked in from the nursery. She put her hands on her son's shoulders and smiled.
"Well, she's out. I turned the monitor on, just in case."
"Thanks Lena," Kurt told her, washing his hands, panicking just a little because they hadn't used the crib yet. He started toward the nursery to get her and move her to the bassinette when Lena answered him.
"No problem."
She groaned, checking her watch. "Eh, I better go…my flight home is early tomorrow."
"Thank you so much for coming, Lena," Kurt grinned as he backtracked just a bit to hug Lena goodbye. "I'm so glad you got to see her."
"Ooo me too," Lena affirmed, squeezing Kurt back. "I'll see you guys soon though," she promised, giving Carole a hug as well and waving to Burt. "Blaine, walk me outside?"
"Oh, yeah…sure Mama," Blaine nodded.
After Blaine and Lena had walked out the door, Rachel turned to Sam and told him they should get going too. They both had early mornings.
Kurt hugged them goodbye. They both promised to come around soon and made Kurt promise to call them if either he or Blaine needed anything.
"Especially when you're ready for a babysitter," Rachel added, winking.
"You'll be the first, I promise." Kurt assured her as she and Sam walked hand in hand down the hallway.
9:05pm
Kurt yawned as he switched over a load of laundry while a bottle warmed in the kitchen.
His parents had left for their hotel a while before, promising to be back in the morning. Sophie had woken up soon after they headed out, but Blaine changed her diaper and took her into their bedroom to wait for Kurt and her bottle.
Kurt put the basket of clean baby blankets and burp cloths on his hip, grabbed the bottle from the warmer on the counter, and flipped off the light. He smiled when he walked in his bedroom to find his husband on his side, smiling down at their daughter, wrapped up like a little baby burrito.
"You are so strong, little one," Blaine sang in a quiet voice, unaware Kurt was in the room.
"All that prenatal yoga Mel did," Kurt told him as he set down the basket. He would fold later, now was family time. Blaine turned at the sound of his voice and chuckled.
"I'm sure that's exactly it," he agreed.
Kurt put the bottle on the bedside table and gently laid down on the other side of Sophie. He set his palm against her tiny little tummy, feeling her move her tiny body against the tightly wrapped blankets.
"I'm pretty sure she is the most adorable baby ever born," Blaine decided, resting his head on his arm as he stared down into her perfect face.
Kurt hummed in agreement as he leaned down to kiss her downy soft hair.
"I'm in love, that's for sure," he whispered. "And, of course, I only love the most beautiful things."
Blaine looked up and smiled. He reached his hand over and threaded his fingers with Kurt's across their daughter's belly.
"You hear that Soph, Papa loves us the best," Blaine whispered, his voice betraying him as he choked up. "We're pretty lucky, huh?"
Kurt nestled his head back down on his own folded arm, smiling.
8:47am
"Hey, perfect timing," Blaine smiled, looking over when he saw Mel walking in the door and down the hallway, two bags half-filled with breast milk in her hand. "She's just started getting fussy and ready to eat again."
Mel smiled as Kurt took the bags from her and gave her a quick one armed hug.
"Good," she smiled, tiredly. "The book I read said she can stimulate better than the pump can...and I set an alarm for every three hours, but still haven't gotten much going yet."
Blaine stood up so Mel could sit in the chair. Kurt handed the boppy pillow over to her for the extra support, and Blaine laid the baby down in her arms.
"Hi sweetheart, Aunt Mel missed you," she cooed, guiding Sophie like the nurse had shown her to do. It took a few tries, but she finally latched.
"There you go," she murmured, Sophie's cries quieting as instinct took over.
Blaine laid a burp cloth over Mel's opposite shoulder, and covered Sophie with her white blanket.
"You might want to get a bottle ready as well," Mel told them. "I'm just not producing much, and I'm sure it won't be enough to sustain her."
Kurt nodded, heading back into the kitchen.
"How are you?" Blaine asked, sitting across from them on the couch.
"Sore," she nodded with a small sigh. "But okay. How are you guys? You look pretty worn out already."
Blaine shrugged, but Kurt chuckled as he set the bottle in the warmer and walked over to her.
"She wants what she wants, and she doesn't want to wait."
Mel laughed again and looked down at Sophie.
"That sounds remarkably like someone else I know," she joked. "Are you giving your daddies a run for their money, little one?"
"Eh," Blaine shrugged. "She's worth it," he finished, adjusting the blanket so she was completely covered.
"Yeah she is," Mel agreed.
"Do you need anything?" Blaine asked as Kurt walked over with the bottle. "We were just talking about one of us ducking out for a quick market run."
Mel chuckled as she shook her head. "I'll never be able to eat all the food Kurt cooked and froze for me over the past few weeks as it is."
Kurt shrugged, Mel giving him another tired but fond look. "I'm fine, boys. Promise."
After a few more minutes, it was clear Mel had given all she could. She tried to switch sides, but Sophie just wanted to eat by that point and both of them were getting frustrated. Mel told them to give her the bottle, they could try again later. Blaine insisted it was fine, and told her she could feed her the bottle if she wanted, but Mel shook her head, insisting Blaine take her.
"She obviously got something," Kurt assured her when Sophie was fast asleep in Blaine's arms. "She only drank about an ounce and a half. She's up to at least three, sometimes even three and half."
Mel nodded, wiping away the traitorous tears that had leaked from her eyes.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," she insisted when Blaine looked over at her, concern evident on his face. "It's just the stupid hormones."
Mel sniffed as she leaned down to press a kiss against the tiny baby's forehead and brushed her finger across her barely there eyebrows.
"Hey, my parents are on their way over with some pastries. Wanna stay and eat a little?" Kurt asked after he had gotten the bottle washed out and put in the steamer.
Mel shook her head as she pushed herself up from the chair.
"No, I think I'm gonna go take a shower and a nap. Carole asked me over for dinner tonight, so we'll try again then, if that's okay?"
"Of course it's okay." Kurt assured her, pulling her into a hug. "We'll do it as long as you want to."
"I'll be back around six?"
"Bye Mel, love you!" Blaine called as Kurt walked her down the hall.
"Love you, too." Mel called back with a smile.
Kurt held her for an extra few minutes when they got to the door.
"Please don't put too much pressure on yourself," he begged.
Mel shrugged, but gave him a small smile and nod.
xoxo
As soon as her door clicked shut behind her, Mel allowed her face to crumple and a sob escaped from her chest.
Her entire body ached to be upstairs again...her arms felt so empty without that baby in them. It had taken everything in her to walk out that door. But she had to do it.
If this was going to work, she needed to put distance between them whenever possible.
Maybe breastfeeding was a bad idea... she thought as she dragged herself back into her unmade bed. Maybe I should move?
She shook her head and laughed at herself.
"Maybe wait until the hormones subside before making major life choices, Melissa," she said out loud to herself before drifting off to sleep.
12:00pm
"Alright, woman…hand that baby over!" Burt told his wife after putting his plate in the sink and washing his hands. "I need my baby fix"
Kurt had insisted that Burt hand Sophie over to Carole before they started getting lunch together, and Carole had been more than happy to ignore her own lunch so she could sit and snuggle with the beautiful bundle of precious for as long as she could.
She laughed and leaned down to kiss Sophie's chubby little cheek before passing the sleeping baby over to her husband so she could eat her sandwich. Carole looked over at Kurt and Blaine. They were both leaning over the counter, reading an article on Kurt's tablet about giving the baby a bath. Kurt was absently running his hand up and down Blaine's back as they talked quietly to each other.
Carole smiled.
Yeah, they were in for the ride of their life…but at least they were doing it together. And that baby would never be short on love.
"Did you guys ever get that swing put together?" Burt asked, breaking her reverie and the boys looked up sheepishly.
"No," Blaine answered shaking his head. "We tried, but we got so pissed off."
"We were gonna ask you about it, actually," Kurt admitted, standing up and grinning at his dad.
"Yay," Carole laughed, holding out her hands. "Gimme gimme."
Burt rolled his eyes good naturedly and kissed his granddaughter's little hand before handing her back to Carole.
"Yaaay!" she sang. "Hi, sweet pea."
Blaine walked over to where Burt had pulled the pieces of the discarded swing out, and Kurt walked over to sit next Carole and Sophie.
"Are you sure you don't want to take a little nap while we're here?" Carole asked, swaying Sophie gently.
Kurt shook his head.
"No, thanks, I feel like we slept through half of your visit yesterday. We'll be okay."
She nodded.
Kurt leaned down to kiss his daughter's head and held her hand in his. "We're kind of hoping that in a few days we can start sleeping in shifts…I mean we both don't have to be up every time she is," he explained, shaking his head. "It's just hard you know? One of us hears her and we both shoot up. I'm sure that will change soon."
Carole laughed but nodded. "When exhaustion wins out, yeah."
"I would have thought that would have already happened," he admitted shaking his head. "I was so tired this morning I almost nodded off twice while trying to check my e-mail."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Blaine cried just loud enough for them to look over at him. "It's because these parts were already attached, Kurt! That's why we couldn't figure it out."
"Okay, honey," Kurt called, shaking his head to Carole. "That really sucks."
"Damn right it does," Blaine mumbled as Burt tried not to laugh.
"How was last night?" Carole asked, turning back to Kurt. "Any better?"
Kurt shrugged.
"Yes and no, I mean about the same I guess," Kurt answered with a yawn. "She wants things when she wants them, and definitely doesn't like to wait."
Carole laughed and nodded her head.
"But, she did sleep a little better last night, for little longer intervals. I think she just likes sleeping during the day so if we can get her sleeping on track…" he trailed off and shrugged, still holding her little hand in his. "Right now, I just let her sleep whenever she wants, should I stop?"
"That's up to you," she answered carefully, looking up at him. "The first few weeks are always the toughest; you have to see what works for the three of you."
"But, if it were you?" Kurt prompted and Carole sighed.
"If it were me, I would make sure her eating is on track," she told him as they watched Blaine and Burt screw the last few pieces of the swing together. "Take each thing, one step at a time."
Kurt nodded as Burt motioned for them to bring the baby over.
4:30pm
Mel groaned as she sat up when her buzzer rang. She trudged to the intercom and pushed the button to unlock the door. Her editor, Leah, had texted to tell her she was dropping by. She had some contracts Mel needed to look over and sign.
She was back on the couch by the time Leah opened the door and called down the hallway.
"Look at you, lying around like you just gave birth or somethin'," Leah joked as she walked into the living room and sat down in the arm chair.
Mel grunted her reply and struggled to sit up. Leah set the folder she was carrying on the coffee table and shrugged out of her coat.
"I thought you were supposed to call me yesterday?" she asked. "I could have picked you up from the hospital."
Mel shrugged as she pointed the remote at her tv to mute the sound. "Kurt ordered a car. I was fine...I came home and crashed."
"Lucky you," Leah joked, sitting back and crossing her legs. "I don't think I slept for three months after Allegra was born."
Mel snorted a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah...lucky."
Leah's face fell just a little. She uncrossed her legs and sat forward on the chair. "Hey, you okay?"
Mel shook her head and mustered up a smile. "I'm fine," she insisted, reaching over for the folder Leah had brought, but Leah pushed her hand away.
"Uh uh girl, what's going on?"
Mel shook her head again. "I'm fine...just tired."
Leah rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you really think I'm gonna buy that?" she asked, standing up and shoving Mel over so she could sit next to her on the couch. "I think you've said the word fine twelve times since I walked in the door. We've been working together for almost five years-I know when something's up. Spill it, girl."
Mel sighed and started rubbing her eyes, she would not cry over this. She would not.
"Hey," Leah started, rubbing Mel's back a little with her hand. "It's okay to be a little sad, you are allowed to-"
"No." Mel interrupted. "I'm not."
"Mel...of course you are. You are a human. You're allowed to have emotions."
"Not about this," Mel murmured to herself.
"Of course about this!" Leah insisted. "Are you...are you having second thoughts?"
Mel whipped her head up. "No!" she exclaimed. "No, I'm not having second thoughts."
Leah nodded, still rubbing her hand up and down Mel's back as Mel took a few deep breaths.
"I just..." Mel started, her eyes welling up. "I just didn't expect it to be this...I didn't think it would be this hard."
Leah shook her head. "Mel, of course this is hard. Did you think you would just come home and it would be like nothing had changed? That you would just pick up and resume your life like nothing was different?"
Mel shrugged and looked away.
"Have you talked to them?" Leah asked carefully and Mel shook her head.
"I can't. I don't want to put this on them."
Leah started to say something before Mel interrupted her again.
"I just..." she started, looking down at her hands. "I just wanted to be able to give them this.
"Everything has been so hard for them. Did you know that they both have had the crap kicked out of them...just for being who they are? Blaine has a horrible relationship with his dad, and Kurt is so guarded and careful about what he does and says and...I wanted to give them this. They have both been through so much and I just wanted this to be one thing that wasn't hard, and was just easy."
"Mel," Leah pleaded. "You are putting way too much pressure on yourself. You can't deny yourself the emotions you are feeling just because you don't want to burden them! It doesn't work like that."
"It's just," Mel started again, her voice breaking.
"The whole time I was pregnant, I was able to detach myself from the situation. I could feel her, I could love her, I could take care of myself because I was taking care of her-but she was theirs and I was just...I was the incubator." Mel shrugged again but then started patting her chest with her hand.
"But it wasn't until she was laid on my chest, screaming...it wasn't until I saw her, when I first held her and nursed her..."
"And now?" Leah asked after a few moments passed, prompting Mel to keep going.
Mel took a deep breath that quickly turned into a sharp sob. "Now I just want to hold her. I can feel her so close and I just wanna hold her."
Leah moved over and pulled Mel into her arms.
"It's not..." Mel started, her voice muffled by Leah's shoulder. "I don't wanna be her mom. I'm not her mom."
Leah nodded as she rubbed a comforting hand across Mel's shoulder.
"But my heart can't seem to listen to my brain, and all I want is her in my arms."
Leah turned. "Then go up there," she insisted. "Go up there and hold her...nurse her and spend time with her. I only know those men half as well as you do-and I know they would let you spend time with her."
Mel shook her head vehemently before reaching over for a tissue to blow her nose.
"No," she paused. "It has to be like this. I need the distance. At least until I can get some real sleep and I'm calling the shots-not my hormones."
Leah nodded. "I can understand that, I suppose."
Mel looked over at her friend again and wiped her eyes.
"I can do this," she assured her. "I can love her and be the person she needs me to be-while still letting her dads be her parents. I just need to..."
"You need to give yourself a break, first of all." Leah interrupted.
Mel huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes.
"I just need to do this for me first," Mel finished.
Leah nodded as she sat back on the couch and crossed her arms. "I still think you need to tell them, they will worry about you...you know they will."
Mel shook her head as she picked up a tissue and wiped her nose. "I made it pretty clear that I wanted them to focus on her for a little while," she told her. "They will respect that, I know they will."
Leah nodded again before taking a breath. "Do you think you should stop nursing? Do you think that will help?"
Mel shook her head. She didn't want to stop. Once she could get a handle on her emotions, she really wanted to keep going.
"But, can you do something for me?"
Leah gave her a look, but nodded.
"I already texted Kurt to tell him that I was too tired to come upstairs for dinner, and he said he would come down and get the milk I've been pumping all day...but I don't think I can see him just yet."
Leah nodded and stood up, Mel pointed to the fridge where she was keeping the pumped milk. "Thank you."
xoxo
"Leah!" Kurt exclaimed when he answered the knock at their door.
"Mel sent me with this." Leah held out two black insulated bags of breast milk.
Kurt took the bags with a long look. "I told her I would come and get them."
She shrugged and gave Kurt a small grin. "I know, but I was heading out anyway...figured I would save you a trip."
He nodded. "Okay...well, do you wanna come in and see the baby?"
Leah shook her head as she tightened her scarf. "I would...but I better not. Allegra brought the flu home from daycare-I don't want to risk passing it to such a tiny baby."
Kurt nodded, holding up the black bags as Leah turned to walk down the hallway. "Well, thank you for this."
"No problem," she assured him, starting to walk before turning back around. "Hey Kurt?"
Kurt stepped back into the hall.
Leah stuck her hands in her pockets and looked down. "I know we don't know each other very well, but..."
He took a step forward, his head tilted and a look of concern on his face.
"Just...just give her a little time, okay?"
Kurt's face fell as he looked down at the bags in his hands. "Is it...bad?"
Leah rushed to shake her head. "No, no...I promise. She just needs...she just needs some time."
Kurt nodded again, biting his lip as he watched Leah walk down the hallway and get on the elevator.
8:50
Kurt melted into the hug his dad had pulled him into. Beside him, Blaine was being hugged equally as hard by Carole.
"We mean what we said, boys." Carole insisted as the two switched and Carole wrapped her arms around him. "Call us anytime. We raised two kids between us. And we can be here in mere hours if you need us to be."
Kurt leaned over to kiss her cheek. "We know. And we are both so happy that you guys got to come and spend some time with her, but we'll be okay."
Blaine nodded next to him. "We promise. She's in good hands with us."
"Of course she is," Burt smiled, Carole nodding next to him. "Give her an extra hug a day for us."
"Love you," Carole called as they started down the hallway.
Kurt smiled as they walked into the hallway to watch his parents walk toward the elevator. "We will, we love you too. Call when you get home tomorrow."
They waved until the elevator doors closed, then Kurt took Blaine's hand and they headed back into their loft. They were both quiet as they walked down the hallway and over to the swing where Sophie was fast asleep.
Kurt eased himself down on the couch and crossed his legs. He smiled as Blaine brought over his cup of freshly steeped tea and sat down next to him.
"We gotta remember to keep this thing on its lowest setting until she gets a little older," he said, Blaine nodding next to him. "Most of the books say they are fine for tiny babies, as long as we are awake and keep our eye on her...and keep her reclined to make sure her little body doesn't get scrunched down."
Blaine nodded again as he blew on his tea and took a sip.
Kurt yawned as he lifted his hand and began rubbing the back of Blaine's neck. "You okay? You look a little...upset?"
Blaine shook his head and shrugged. "I'm just worried about Mel."
Kurt nodded as he continued to rub the back of his husband's neck. "Yeah, me too...but Leah told me she would be okay. We just need to give her a little space to adjust."
"I just hate that she's down there, all alone."
Kurt huffed out a small laugh. "Well, honey...some people like to be alone. Especially when they are dealing with stuff."
Blaine rolled his eyes as a soft smile crept up on his face. "I fell in love with and married you," he told him as Kurt laughed. "I think I know that."
"Touche," Kurt laughed.
"It's just..." Blaine trailed off again as the smile slipped from his face. "Every book we read warned for the signs of postpartum depression, or the 'baby blues', and one of the biggest was focus suddenly shifting from the pregnant 'mom' to the new baby."
Kurt nodded thoughtfully.
"I just don't want her to feel like we don't care about her anymore, or that we don't want her around anymore."
Kurt smiled at his husband and leaned over to nudge him with his shoulder slightly. "Honey, Mel is, well..." he paused, trying to think about his words. "For all that Mel is bubbly and extroverted and funny...she is very private about her emotions. She doesn't like to look vulnerable to people, even us.
"We all deal with stuff differently, Blaine-and if Mel isn't ready to come to us about this quite yet, then we need to be okay with her keeping her distance until she is."
Blaine nodded as he bit his lip. "Yeah, you're probably right."
Kurt laughed as he picked up the remote and flipped on their TV. "I'm always right."
Blaine barked out a short laugh as he snuggled up into Kurt's outstretched arm and rolled his eyes.
Kurt kissed the top of his husband's head as he scrolled through their DVR, finally landing on a show they had missed that week.
"Maybe we'll get a little lucky and she'll sleep until she needs to eat again." Kurt told him, dropping the remote on the couch next to them and picking up Blaine's hand to tangle their fingers together on his chest.
"Hmmm." Blaine hummed back at him, already falling asleep with his head on Kurt's chest.