"So, Buff, I gotta ask - what in holy frijoles are you doing with evil dead here?!"Xander's voice is calm, despite his words.

Oh, gods, can't a girl just come back from the dead and not have to explain herself the same night? "Let's wait for Willow and Tara and I'll try to explain."

Awkward. Xander and Anya begin a tense conversation under their breaths that I am trying not to hear. Spike is clinching his jaw which means I'm better off not hearing, considering my frame of mind is slightly unhinged right now. He'd point it out now if it was too bad, you can guarantee that. Hmm... I can read the situation through the clinch of my lover's jaw. No wonder I'm going to live so long. I look to Dawn and I can tell that she wants answers but is busting at the seams in happiness. I'm going to take that as a good sign. I reach my hand out to Dawn and ask her to come sit by me and Spike and she launches herself into my arms and my hearts just breaks for how lonely she has been. I grip her to me and I start crying. Again. What is with me? It's just… I wish I would have been capable of this the first time.

"What do you mean the first time?" Dawn asks through her sniffles. Must have said that last bit out loud. I look away from Dawn's puffy, tear rimmed eyes and see that Willow and Tara are already back, sitting quietly in the love seat, all curled up together. It hurts and soothes my heart and I feel myself tearing up again. Time to get started, though. Everyone is looking to me for my answer.

"Well, I guess that's the first thing I need to tell you guys. I'm back… From the future." No one laughs. OK, I guess I need to elaborate.

"What I'm trying to say is that tonight already happened for me - about two years ago. Um…" I'm trying to think of a way to explain this that won't cause a fight, but I'm not sure that way exists, so I'll just keep it simple. "Willow, your spell was interrupted, right?" Willow looks awfully pale and she just nods. "So, a lot of stuff went wrong with the spell. I think you all had good intentions, but doing magic like that on a hellmouth… Big time bad on a lot of levels. But not all bad. Because the spell was interrupted, it was open to interpretation by the Powers That Be, and that allowed me to be sent back to this time. I think. They never give you all the info you need, you know. That's why we need Giles." There. Strange comment explained, and everyone still seems relatively subdued. I might get them out of here without an argument. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that these Scoobies haven't betrayed me yet, other than the whole ripping me out of heaven thing. Does that count as betrayal? After all this time, I still haven't decided. They certainly didn't help their case by kicking me out of my own home, but so much else had happened by that point… I can't really hold that against these Scoobies, right? Ugh, I'm giving myself a headache.

"OK, so, time travel. Not the weirdest thing I've heard of on the hellmouth. But that doesn't explain Spike." Thanks, Xander, for dashing my hopes. I turn my most innocent look on Xander and keep mental fingers crossed that he's still feeling bad about the whole "dug my way out of my coffin" thing since it's still fresh in his mind.

"What it boils down to is that he's with me. " I'm still holding Spike's hand, and I give it a little squeeze that he returns gently, mindful of my injuries. I haven't let go of him, I need the physical connection to reassure me that he's here. Is it possible to get separation anxiety when you've technically only been separated for not even a day? I wonder how long it's been for him.

"Buffy, he's a vampire." Xander says this like he's speaking to a small child or a lunatic. I feel the rage from earlier start to simmer and I know I have to put a lid on this conversation before it boils over. But, then again, I can't get my heart fully behind diplomacy as the way to go. I'll try for something in the middle. The worst has already happened so what the hell, right? I stand and face Xander directly.

"You're right, Xander. Spike's a vampire. I'm the Slayer. Dawn is an inter-dimensional key. Anya was a vengeance demon for over a thousand years. Tara's a witch. Willow is quite possibly the most powerful witch on Earth. In this room, you're the freak. I trust Spike. I love Spike. Dawnie, do you trust and love Spike?"

"Well, I mean… yeah. But not love love. Love like a brother or really young...looking...vampire... uncle… I don't know. Family. O.M.G. We're the Munsters!" The girl's eyes are round as saucers and she is actually happy to be the Munsters. For the thousandth time my mind boggles at the fact that she was made from me.

"Thanks, Dawn. My point is, Xander, this is our home. Our family home. Spike is always welcome here. He was welcomed by my mother on many occasions. If you have a problem with that, YOU are welcome to leave. You are also welcome to stay, but we won't be continuing this conversation tonight." Channeling my mother here, please let courtesy work for me like it always did for her.

"Buffy, you really can't expect me to -" Or not. Moving on.

"Fuck, Xander, I don't want to fight!" I positively bark it at him as I slash my hand through the air and take a step toward him. I wonder if he has any idea that I'm considering whether I can rough him up without breaking any bones and finding myself on the side of not caring if it will get him out of my house faster. He has insurance, right? Why did I have them order pizza?

"Xander, I'm not sure she means that." Good call, Anya.

"I'd listen to your fiancé, whelp. You're not often on the receiving end of that look, but I know it by heart. It usually comes with a broken nose." Of course, Spike daring to speak brings Xander to his feet.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!"

I snatch him up by his shirt and start pulling him toward the front door.

"I don't expect anything from you, but you obviously have some expectations of me that I don't feel up to meeting tonight. Or possibly ever. We will have a discussion about Spike. I think I've made my feelings clear, and after what you helped do to me, the least you can do is give me a night to rest before giving me the third degree." At this I yank the door open and push him through it. He looks like he's about to say something but then his mouth snaps shut. He just turns on his heel and stalks down the driveway. I move aside so Anya can follow with her purse and their coats. Just as I'm about to close the door she turns back to me.

"Buffy. Thank you for not inflicting bodily harm on Xander. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to bring you back. I'm still not completely sure it was. To be honest, you seem a little more demony but you show remarkable restraint. What I'm trying to say is… Thank you for saving us. And… I'm sorry if my actions harmed you."

"Thank you, Anya." My voice must carry too much emotion, and she looks at me oddly before saying goodnight and rushing to catch up with Xander.