Hey there people! How have you been? Ready for some more grief and anger and frustration? You were tired of peace? Well, here you have some more unpeacefulness! (Just kidding... x)

No guys, I'm sorry but this was necessary. It's an important part of the story soon to be overcome. There's just one final step and we (and Jack mostly) are good!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter! I had some doubts along the way, but I actually liked how it turned out!

Thank you to all of those who review, and to the others I hope you are enjoying the ride!

But enough with all this blabber... Here we go again!

...

..

.

XV

Darkness.

That's the first thing I remember.

It was dark, and it was cold.

And I was scared.

A gasp of chilly air filled his chest, in an almost choked shudder, as he blinked his eyes open. Breathing hurt, as if he had been deprived from oxygen for a considerable period of time. But then his body rolled over, moved purely by instinct, shaking in violent convulsions, trying to cough out the liquid intruder from the lungs. It left a familiar salty taste in his mouth and throat. The boy fell backwards into a pebbles-filled sand, exhausted, sensing the coolness of the night seeping into his bones. He suppressed a shiver. Blinking foggy irises, he tried to squint past the darkness. Such efforts reveled to be futile. The boy wheezed a tired breath, and as if blown away by his sigh, the thick blanket of clouds floated across the veiled sky. But then...then I saw the moon. It was so big and it was so bright, and it seemed to chase the darkness away. And when it did... I wasn't scared anymore.

The huge silver disc casted its light down both at the boy and the entire world around him. Suddenly, it was as if the not so distant lullaby of the waves became perceivable, and the wet breeze coming from the sea messed with his tousled hair, calling him, alluring him to go and play.

Jack felt the chuckle leave his parted lips before he could stop it, and for a moment of ignorant bliss the boy completely forgot why he should bite them back in the first place!

But then, pictures of giant walls of water flooded his mind, making the steady thumping in his chest increase into maddening proportions, like the organ was trying to burst out of its cage.

The fresh memory of the burning in his lungs, the tightness in his throat, all caused by the restriction of breathing, made the boy believe he was drowning all over again.

The darkness, the bite of the coolness of the water in his skin, the battle between the part of him that wanted to just inhale and what was left of his rationality saying he couldn't.

And when all seemed about to fade in an eternal slumber, her words had drifted through an imaginary wind inside his head, Jack's little sister whispering to him in a laughing, gleeful voice.

... Please don't let my departure take you away as well...

And something in his icy heart shone brightly, opening cracks of life all through the hurting organ. A flicker of hope… hope of salvation.

Em loved him, and he loved her! Wouldn't it be painful to see your big brother sulking around, throwing his life away like that? There was nothing he could do to bring her back! She… She was not coming back…

But he couldn't just forget it, could he? Like it didn't happen! It was his fault after all, that she was not sleeping safely in her bead right now! If he hadn't been so reckless, always messing around…

But it had been just a game…

His eyes stung with the announcement of a new wave of emotions, though he stubbornly stomped them down.

Almost instinctively the flooded irises roamed, searching for the piece of crimson cloth, the one that was both the only thing left of her and the constant reminder of his role in her departure. But the scarf was not there, having been left with the rest of his cloths back in the bay.

Pictures of recurrent nightmares flashed behind his eyelids, showing Jack being strangled by the infamous piece of wool, by her favorite red scarf!

Heaving he looked around, that always present weight choking him, bounding him to a crime he feared he could not be pardoned from. Most of the times he didn't know if he deserved to be!

In a gust of sudden anger the sand was kicked and hands desperately clawed their way into his messy locks. There were times he wished he could just rip his ruined heart out of its prison. Maybe then the pain would subside…

He felt defeated by the events he had no control over, he felt lost, he felt afraid, and above all he felt alone, in a world – in a life – he though he didn't deserve.

He became a murderer without meaning to! But the point was… he didn't want to feel like a murderer anymore… Was that wrong? Was that disrespectful to Em, when the reason she was gone fell upon him?

His breath shuddered.

And when his orbs travelled all the way up to the Moon, in a desperate search for something he quite didn't understand, the white disc blinked back.

- Why? Why have you brought me back?

Was this some kind of cruel joke? Jack recalled saying goodbye to this world, ready for the next with the promise that he would be with her. He would finally pay for his crime, but it seemed death was a too merciful punishment. Living with the guilt was way harder.

But… no! It couldn't be! His life couldn't be just loneliness and suffering! There had to be more, so what was the point of being brought back? And the boy didn't believe, for a second, that the tender light above him could desire for anything if not peace!

Then… then he remembered seeing the Moon, blessing him with its light as he sunk towards the dark depths of the ocean. The bright aster seemed to observe him, pondering…

And Jack had no idea what did the Moon see in his broken and frozen core; but in the end, a second chance was given.

…

..

.

Jack left his irises fall back onto the crashing waves a few meters ahead of him. The night was cold and the breeze was biter, but as it caressed the boys pale cheeks, he couldn't avoid the shuddering sigh that left his lungs.

He couldn't quite grasp what just happened, but something certainly did! The boy felt he could breathe more easily, that his heart could pump without that constant constriction. And the feeling was so good, so freeing, that he laughed! Jack laughed, alone in that beach, and didn't feel guilty about it!

The boy gazed the moon with wonder in his eyes.

Maybe it was not his time yet. Maybe the boy was needed for something else! But what? What was there more in the world than Em-

The angel!

Suddenly there was a powerful boom in his mind and all he could see were flashes of iridescent scales and tender smiles, joyful laughs and adorable blushes, cerise infinite orbs and comforting embraces, warm light and lots, lots of salty water.

Jack jumped a mile in the air, one name and one name alone echoing restlessly inside him, as constant as the pumping of his heart: Toothiana!

S-she was the one who saved him, who came back even when he had been nothing but horrible to her!

And… she came back…

Jack whirled around, stumbling towards the waves in tired, wobbly legs.

- Tooooth!

His shout ran across the extension of the beach and the emptiness of the sea´s surface. No answer came. The boy then tried to squint pass the darkness, to hear pass the roaring of the waves. The smile until then hitched on his face begun to falter.

Had she gone away, taken by the retrieving tide? Perhaps she got bored of his unconscious form, sprawled out in the sand. How long had he been out, anyway?

His gelid feet continued wandering the line where the water could just barely reach. Any person now would have been suffering the convulsions of hypothermia, but not a single shiver crossed his half naked body. His mind was way out of such basic needs.

Finally he stopped, gazing white explosions of foam sparkle in the moonlight.

It was breath taking! Everything from the fresh breeze to the oceans lullaby was absolutely wonderful. And the boy couldn't remember the last time he had truly appreciated it… these simple beauties in life… Well, maybe the universe that secretly lived inside Tooth´s orbs! He certainly got lost in those quite often!

The thought made his mind go back to the vanished mermaid. Where was she?

But… where was he?

And when Jack looked around, trying to identify the shore where he had stranded, he saw it: the pale form illuminated by the moon's tender glow. And something inside him snapped or stopped or started, he couldn't even tell!

But not a heartbeat had passed, and the boy went on a mad dash, stumbling every two steps, running up the beach to the place where he had woken up; because he immediately knew who the colorless body belonged to, and worse of all, what it meant.

How he hadn't seen her in the first place, only the moon could tell, though there were more vital things clouding his judgment in the moment.

And there were so many things wrong in the scene laid before him that Jack couldn't even manage the wave of panic rising within.

She was not supposed to be so still, she couldn't be that far from the ocean, her skin should be a sparkling rainbow of colors in the silver rays, her face ought to have a smile on it, and her beautiful irises must not be hidden away under such pale eyelids! They should be joyfully glistening in wonder, filling this cruel world with love and light. And oh, how the world – how he – desperately needed those two!

His bony knees met the ground with a silent thud, arms encircling her form like vines, 'No's and 'Not again's mumbled all the while, like a prayer, over and over again. The abnormal coolness of her only distressed him more, pricking his nerves wherever their skins touched.

- Please no… Not again! – he cursed past clenched teeth, as he dragged the mermaid's pale form back into the water.

He was slapped by waves and pushed back by a freezing cold ocean, but by this point, it was as if the boy didn't mind the cold at all! There was too much adrenaline pumping in his veins for him to notice.

And like that first time once, in what now seemed an eternity ago, Jack waited, in a wide-eyed horror, for a new miracle, another chance. Though this time he didn't let go.

- Toooooth… - he groaned, showing his pearly whites but not on a breathtaking smile. – Come on!

With water up to his chest, he gripped the mermaid's forearms with increasing despair. (The print of his fingers marked there would bring him shame for a couple of days.) He fought the urge to shake her small form, to force her to wake up! He eventually did. But when her head wobbled back and forth in a lose neck the boy immediately stopped, with an apologetic gasp cradling her to his chest.

Pulling away just the slightest, Jack tried to get a look at her moonlit features. Tooth was still amazingly beautiful, even in this state, the peacefulness of her expression nearly enough to calm him down; the paleness of her color-drained skin almost making it seem as if she had a glow of her own. And in that moment, Jack believed she did… Toothiana gleamed like an angel in the darkness of the night, his own special light in the darkness of this world.

But if her skin merely reflected the moon's silver rays, it was her eyes which truly had a glimmer of their own. And oh boy, Jack couldn't muster the thought of not seeing that sparkle again!

So for the second time that night, he looked up to the bright disc in a silent plea.

- Please… please… please…

And it was not like he should be expecting an answer, after so many silent disappointments. But when all that was given back was its invariable soft beams, the boy couldn't help but through the moon a frustrated glare.

His scowl vanished the minute his icy blue orbs fell on the unconscious mermaid in his arms.

Jack knew that in extreme cases, Toothiana could deliberately enter a hibernating state, in order to preserve all the oxygen she could manage. She had told him as much, when the boy wondered how she made it alive in that first tiny accident… (The one he, on Tooth's demand, fought hard to forget.) Apparently, even sharks could pull of the little trick, lasting some minutes out of water.

But what if the mermaid was past that time? What if she was already-

He immediately bit back the thought. No! Jack couldn't dare to think like that! If he did… well… this time he would certainly break for good…

So with a tentatively cool head, and impossibly trembling finger, the boy tried to take her pulse. But his fingertips were completely numb, and he really didn't know how- Did she even have a circulation like that?

No, STOP Overland! Just focus!

Gulping down, the distressed shepherd brought her closer, tilting his head in order to lay his ear flat against her chest. He fought back the rush of heat pooling his cheeks – this was definitely not the time! – and concentrated in finding that vital rhythm. He was starting to feel the panic rise within him, the silence so impossibly painful, when suddenly…

Lub dub… lub dub…

And the sound was so frail, but oh so deliciously alive, that Jack couldn't help but feel his eyes fill up and a relieved laugh shake him to the core! He sighed, feeling like he could breathe again, and allowed his forehead fall on top of hers, salty bangs brushing against her skin.

Slowly opening his eyes – when had he closed them? – Jack peered down at the mermaid's sleeping face. A though abruptly stuck him, flashing out of the blue in the sudden quietness that was his mind; like the knowledge had been there all along, but everything was just too loud to hear.

Frowning, the boy just barely moved away, tilting his head in a pondering manner.

Maybe… and what had he to lose?

So Jack decided to trust this sudden source of inspiration, and taking a deep, deep breath…. He dove.

…

..

.

It was impossibly dark, even with a full moon casting its light from up there. But the boy didn't need to see anyway.

He hesitated just a second, inhibitions taking the urgency out of the situation. However, the shepherd quickly shooed the thought away. This was their last hope, and he would do what needed to be done!

So with a determined frown that overcame the impossible burning in his cheeks and ears, the boy advanced.

Fingers stretches slowly, shyly going towards their destiny, while his other hand continued to firmly hold her. When he found her waist, fingertips meeting her abnormally dry skin with a strange prickle, his hand began hovering higher and higher. At last, the protuberance of her ribs was felt under his cautious touch, a small smile of victory blooming in his smacked lips.

But the boy didn't let that divert him from the task in hands. He squinted his eyes, focusing on that specific patch of skin, faultless if it weren't for a parallel set of cuts. Jack moved his fingers. In the end, all it took were some soft rubs, and Tooth's thoracic set of gills unglued from their pasted state, a gush of salty water rushing inside.

Jack hurried his work after that, awkwardness long forgotten under the urgency of the whole situation. But that didn't remove the gentleness from his strokes. The boy was certain this were very sensitive parts in a mermaid's body.

Soon, the other group of thoracic gills was freed, the ocean swiftly filling it. A quick gasp of air above the waves and Jack went down again. Then came the ones from her neck, the boy pressing a tentative kiss to one of the gashes, trying to blow water in it. Heck, he had no idea, whatsoever, about the things he was doing… But he was sure way pass caring!

He broke the surface with a greedy intake of air, flushed and panting and way more restless than the situation required; the despair was probably making him crazy… (And something inside him whispered this probably wouldn't be the last time!)

Then, his vision befell on Tooth's submerged face, still safely secured in his arms, and the sight of her parted lips made everything silence within him. He felt himself automatically lean forward, but Jack stopped himself midway, frowning, as if awoken from a dream.

What was he even doing? Oh, this was a something else, a whole other kind of thing! This was not a matter of survival! Was his heart that desperate to take advantage of the unconscious mermaid like that? Was that fair to Tooth? Was that what she even wanted? (He promptly ignore the ache that sprouted in his chest when he thought that she might not)

And besides, what if his heart was only desperate for attention, for warmth? Was if this was just some selfish urge of filling a void?

Even with all they had been through, Jack didn't feel as if he could trust his hurt organ anymore. And something inside him both yelled and pleaded that he couldn't subject her to such doubts. The boy couldn't dare to risk killing that light, the one which still sparkled in her gaze…

So he gently let go of her, seeing her still pale body float steadily in the moonlight. A tired sigh and he moved away just the slightest, blue orbs travelling all the way up to the glowing aster in his third quiet plea that night. And as it should be, silence was all he got back.

Either way, the shepherd pouted and glared, letting out a raspy groan that expressed all his tiredness, all his frustration, all his despair. His gelid palms covered his face in an irritated manner, fingers gripping his hair, rubbing his temples. But then, the big milky hands stayed there, as he exhaled slowly one final time, shoulders slumping as all the air left his lungs.

Who could guess a mere boy like him, a simple shepherd, would be exposed to such emotionally-draining episodes? What a crazy life! But as images of flowing brown hair, iridescent scales, red scarves, and an absolutely endless collection of smiles and laughs flooded his mind, the boy couldn't help but grin too. Yeah… it certainly was a crazy life. But it was worth it!

These girls will be the death of me!

Jack couldn't help but smile behind his palms, shaking his head.

And speaking of the devil!

Slimy fingers encircled his freezing hands, gently pulling them out of his face. And just like once upon a time, in what seemed like ages ago, the boy open his eyes to a worried looking mermaid. And she would never know the absolutely overcoming wave of happiness he felt flooding his entire being the moment he caught sight of those amazing cerise orbs! (Only that she did, because she felt the exact same thing when his blue gaze locked with hers.)

But this time, instead of being greeted with surprise, or passion, or anger, or any other strong emotion, Tooth only found this breathtaking smirk on his gorgeous face, his eyes glistening with this kind of mirth that the mermaid was certain it had been once ever-present in his irises.

Somehow, a giddy grin found its way into her face, as he spoke with that hoarse voice of his, neither of them noticing (or choosing to notice) that their fingers were still laced together.

- This is becoming rather repetitive, don't you think?

...

The end...

No, I'm just messing around ;D

(Ahaha, I don't know what's wrong with me, don't mind me...)

Well, what do you think? Am I overdoing it with Jack's grief? Is it becoming repetitive and boring? I swear its almost over! But I don't know if i'm doing it right...

Either way I hope it was worth the wait! (I'm just really chatty today, ain't I? :/