Run. Run. Run. Masami kept her fast pace as she looked behind at her home leaving in the horizon. I'm never going back, never! She thought to herself. How naïve she was. The further she ran, the slower her pace became. Finally, she stopped with her mouth agape as she stood in front of a dark, scary forest. It was silly, really, these feelings of fear; this forest was the source of so many beloved memories before falling for Saburo. This, however, is an entirely different story.
The sound of music playing from atop the hill brought Masami beck to the present. She recognized the strum of the Biwa: Saburo. After she slowly made her way up the hill, she stood behind her husband who was talking endlessly while playing every note on his stringed instrument perfectly.
"…after that, I tried to get everyone together. You would not believe how hard that was. Ha, I miss the days when I would call someone's name, and they would answer. I would say 'I love you brother' and they would say 'I love you too'. Or I would make a joke and they would laugh in return. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to even get someone to smile." Masami heard the strumming abruptly stop and a sigh from Saburo's mouth. She reached out to comfort him but he continued on before she could. She drew her hand back and listened to his words again.
"I…I try, but it's hard. Oh, that reminds me: I've meet Inu no Taisho's son last night. He turned out just like his father. Well, almost like his father. He didn't end up dead after all. And his human wife, Kogame, seems real nice. You would like her, I think. She is family after all, and you love family, don't you? I do too. I love it. But they don't love me. I think that's what the problem is. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this like I always do. Oh, right, I never talked about Sesshomaru, did I. Sesshomaru, I've talked about him to you before I believe. He's- well, he's a good demon. We all have our own flaws right? That's what you always say. Anyways, the boy is easily agitated by Hirato, which will definitely create problems in the future, I believe. He loves a human child, though he will not admit it. Though, it's love you and me shared, not Inu no Taisho shared with Izayoi. You know: the guardian and child relationship, which, I confess I envy. Speaking of Hirato, he's really changed since he last saw you. Instead of the innocent child (well, innocent isn't the best way to describe him when you last laid eyes on him), he has grown to be a, um, interesting character. He still has hatred towards Inu no Taisho, and it is what buries him alive." Another sigh. "I just want this damn request of Inu no Taisho's to get finished before someone gets hurt. I – I'm – I'm just worried that we'll lose Hirato to what he craves most. But…he still has good qualities. He still cares deeply for pa and – and – and he can be changed right? Maybe if I try my best, I could get him to-" Masami no longer heard barely anything. The only sound she could even faintly hear was a soft drumming, like… a patter, then an echo. Was he, crying? Drop. Drum. Echo. Beat. Echo. Rain. Heart. Forest. Rain. Thunder. Forest. Fall. Heart. Pounding.
Horror. She said she would never return home, but it was safe and provided food, water, and better yet, shelter. She had nothing in the forest. She could not see anything because of the dark. She could not think for herself because of the fear that restricted her movements, gluing her to the ground. She could do nothing else but sit in the rain, hope the blinding lightning does not target her, and cry. She cried and cried. She shivered and shivered. But wait, what is that? That, that white light ahead of her? Was this the end of the line for her? Would she never see her sister or brother again? Or was it, if it was even possible, could it be an end to the darkness? To the fright? It had to be. She had to try. So she did.
The casual strumming and talking of Saburo once again. Masami shook her head and proceeded to continue overhearing his conversation.
"I'm sorry; I know it's not like me to cry. But no one realizes that, under this smile, I feel… lonely. I mean, I still have Masami, and she means the world to me. But, she still feels guilty. I told her to let it go, but she can't. To be fair, if I let someone die and I had a chance to save them, I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. But she's actually a very strong, independent woman, a bit stubborn, but my favorite person in the world. She reminds me of you, in a way. I love you. Oh, I want to play you a lullaby to help you sleep." He stopped the random chords of his lute-like instrument, looked at his left hand (he was left-handed) so he could find the correct chord. When he found it, he commenced to play and begun to sing.
"Hush now,
Close your eyes,
I will not allow,
You to be as blue as the skies.
I love you,
And that's all that matters,
If you see hate in the world it's your cue,
To spread some laughs and chatter,
And remember forever,
I'll always be upon,
Your heart for all of your days,
Even after – after – after I'm g – gone,
When that happens,
Move on,
In my absence,
Press on,
Press on,
My son.
I…pressed on…for you,
I found you were right,
I stayed true to you,
Family and love make my world bright,
Even when I feel down,
I love to see smiles,
It's true that I'm the family clown,
I would even walk miles,
To see them happy.
I'm sorry for my innocence,
I'm sorry for my heart,
Sorry for the arrogance,
I'm sorry for that part.
Mom,
I love you,
I miss you,
Why can't things be like they were,
Before-before-before…"
Saburo's song trailed off, as did his happiness. He was crying. It was obvious now. Masami had only seen him cry once before and hoped to never see it over again. But one can only hope, or pray, or even plead for something and never receive that wish; sometimes, it will even be trampled on. She knew this, but she couldn't help herself. His cries were just so, agonizing to hear. The way his breath shook. The way he sounded as he sniveled. The way he repeatedly said I'm sorry between wails. The way his tears slowly feel from his face. 1…2…3…4…5.
Masami decided she had enough. She sat by her lover's side. Saburo, just noticing her presence, quickly wiped away his tears and regained his fabricated smile. They sat there. They sat there with no sound. He smiled at her. She looked deeply into his eyes. No one moved. Finally, Saburo's smile left as he carefully placed the Biwa directly beside him. He sighed.
"I can't fool you," he said while glaring in front of him. Following his gaze, Masami noticed he was looking at a gravestone that read:
Beloved wife and mother,
Aimi
2053 - 503 BC
Although you have left our lives,
You still live on in our memories and hearts
"It's not your fault, you know." Masami turned to face Saburo who had spoken with his eyes still on the stone. Why was he so depressed? Yes, this was his mother that lay in front of him, but that was centuries ago. The real Saburo would have gotten over it by now. So what about his mother changes all of this, all of him? Was it the way she died? Oh no, her mind went blank; she could feel it coming back.
"Masami," Saburo said worriedly, shaking her back to him.
"Thank you," Masami acknowledged as she rested her head on his right shoulder.
"You haven't been having flashbacks again, have you?"
"Y-no, no. I'm fine, really." She didn't want to worry him more than he already was. Masami felt his unconvinced gaze warm the back of her head.
"Please tell me the truth Masami," Saburo commanded. She was hesitant, but she finally followed his directions.
"Yes, I have. They have been very frequent." Masami explained. At this, they remained silent. She felt her husband's soft hands stroke her silky hair. He continued as they both stared forwards. Masami's dark blue eyes matched the shade of the night sky. The crescent-moon shined above them just like that day so many years ago. The light it emanated provided just enough for them to see each other, and to read. And that's what they did. They read the engravings on the worn out stone. They read each other's eyes every once and a while. They read what one another was thinking.
"I love you." That's all Masami needed to hear. She was now smiling. She looked up at her lover to find determination there. "And I promise I will protect you. What happened to her will never happen again."