Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist nor do I claim to.

Chapter 10

Edward didn't notice the young blonde glaring daggers at him and Noah from across the way as he embarked on his first date in over a year. Tears began streaming down Envy's cheeks after they finally vanished from sight. Envy just stood there for the longest time, staring off into the spot where the two had disappeared around the corner.

It's not fair. He is supposed to love me!

Envy's mind raced violently. He thought seriously about just walking up to her and offing the bitch right there, but he held back. Wouldn't that be a nice first impression on Edward after all this time. God, he fucking hated being human sometimes. The second guessing and guilt factors just simply weren't there when he was a homunculus.

He would have to approach this some other way. He had to talk to Edward first, alone.

Envy had to find out if he would even forgive him for all he'd done.

Edward was actually enjoying himself. Noah was great company, and she made him smile. She was so easy to talk to, and so genuine. There were no games with her, no figuring things out. It was a nice change. He began wondering why he hadn't done this sooner. He had wasted a lot of time pining over the loss of a love he wasn't even sure was ever real in the first place. Love wasn't supposed to be painful. It was supposed to be easy, like this.

When he dropped her off at her apartment building, they lingered briefly to talk before saying good night.

"I really had a lot of fun with you, Edward." Noah blushed and her eyes twinkled happily. There were butterflies in her stomach, and she was hoping with all her heart that he would kiss her.

"Yeah. We should do it again." He smiled at her, and she looked up at him expectantly.

Edward bit his lip, feeling a little nervous for the very first time. He could tell what she wanted, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that just yet. He really liked Noah, so he wanted to take it slowly this time. The last time he rushed into something like this, it ended up badly. He didn't want that to happen again.

"Goodnight, Noah." Edward finally said, giving her an awkward pat on the top of the head.

Noah looked sad, almost taking that as rejection. She watched him leave with a dejected look, thinking she'd done something wrong. She couldn't have known about his inner turmoil over Envy.

Envy had watched, and waited. He followed them through their entire date. He listened to their conversations and lurked in the shadows as Edward took Noah home. It was all he could do to not jump out and wring her scrawny little neck. He might have lost control if she had tried anything with his Edward, though.

Luckily for her, it didn't appear Edward wanted to go any further with her. Envy sighed in relief as he watched Edward walk away, heading back to his place.

Now was his chance!

Envy followed Edward, unsure of where he lived now. It appeared he no longer lived in the alchemists' quarters in Central, but rather an apartment building further outside of the main city. He'd definitely downgraded.

Edward finally made his way back to his apartment, completely unawares of his little stalker who had been following him around all night.

He began to insert the key into the deadbolt when he heard steps behind him. He looked over his shoulder, not giving the person his full attention at first.

"It's late, I'm sorry I don't want visitors right now." He said tiredly as he began to open his door.

"Wait." Envy said, a slight tremble in his voice.

Edward stopped dead in his tracks. That voice. It wasn't possible. He turned around fully to face the person standing behind him. He stared in shock as he absorbed the sight in front of him.

"It's me, Pipsqueak." Envy forced a small smile, though there was apprehension plain in his eyes. He didn't like the way Edward was looking at him right now.

"Envy?" Disbelief laced Edward's voice. His heart thumped hard in his chest as his brain processed what was happening.

Envy gave a small nod. "I'm sorry." Was all he managed to say.

Edward looked hard at the man before him, blonde and golden eyed with a strong face. No tiny revealing garments of any sort. He was actually dressed normally. Edward just couldn't believe this was Envy. Was he playing some kind of practical joke on him or something, making himself up to look like Hohenheim?

Rage swelled in the place of the shock he had felt a moment ago.

"I'm sorry? That's what you have to say after a fucking year? You fucking left. Not once, but twice. You always fucking left when something didn't go your way." All of the hurt and anguish Edward had been feeling over the past year was bubbling out, and he wasn't able to hold back. He had to say everything he felt, he'd been holding it in far too long.

Envy was visibly hurt at that. But he was right. Envy was a coward, he always had been. The way Edward looked at him, it was like the very sight of Envy disgusted him. He couldn't exactly blame him, truthfully Envy disgusted himself. He hated himself more than ever now in this stupid human body of his that he couldn't even change.

"The second I finally think maybe I can have a normal life and find someone else that I might actually like, you come waltzing back into my life just like that?" Edward's eyes were smoldering. It made Envy shiver, remembering the night he first realized his feelings for the alchemist. His eyes burned then, too.

"That's not—" Envy began, but Edward cut him off.

"And why the fuck do you look like that?" He growled, causing Envy to shrink further.

Tears brimmed in Envy's gold-purple eyes as Edward yelled at him. He supposed he deserved it after all he'd done.

"This is me. This is what I really am. I'm a fucking human now, and this is what I am." Envy said after several moments of silence, eyes trained on the ground in front of him. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to find out my secret... that this is what I really looked like before... before I was brought back from the gate as a homunculus and gained my shape-shifting abilities. But I guess I was fucked when I started changing and couldn't shift anymore." He laughed, a bitter, sad sound.

Edward's shoulders fell, and he pursed his lips as he looked at... Envy. So he was right then. Envy really was turning into a human back then. This really was him, after all? It was hard to believe. He pictured the young, slender androgynous sometimes-boy that he had fallen for a year ago. It was the complete opposite of what stood before him now.

"I changed because of you. I know I did. I became human because we were together!" Envy's voice cracked as he struggled to explain.

The wheels began turning in his mind. Edward was smart enough to put two and two together now. That bastard. As if he needed more reasons to hate him. It figures his piece-of-shit father would keep something like this from him. He created a God-damned homunculus out of his own son. It all made perfect sense now. Envy must have happened before Hohenheim met Trisha.

Edward grit his teeth as realization set in. Envy was his half-brother. There was no other explanation. Why else would he look just like Hohenheim?

"You tricked me." He said quietly, almost menacingly.

Envy's heart stopped. It was just like he played over in his mind a thousand times. He knew Edward would react this way.

"No!" Envy sobbed. How could he make him see? "It was no trick. I love you. I really do. I always have. Please... I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." He stepped closer to Edward, holding his arms out toward him in desperation.

Edward stepped back into his doorway, avoiding Envy's touch. This was too much for him to take right now. Edward could barely look at him.

Envy's hands dropped to his sides. Tears spilled from his eyes, and he grimaced in pain. His heart felt like it was splitting in two. Edward was looking at him like he was some kind of monster.

"This is why I left when I did! I knew you would hate me if you ever found out the truth! I couldn't stop it—I couldn't..." Envy cried, covering his face with his hands and letting out choked sobs which interrupted his speech.

"You said before it was your 'Mother' who brought you back. That was a lie, wasn't it?"

Envy squeaked. Damn Pipsqueak was too smart for his own good. He had it all figured it out already, didn't he?

"Yes! It was a lie. She didn't bring me back. Fucking Hohenheim did, the bastard! He couldn't just leave me dead like she wanted!" Envy was shouting at this point, his face wet with tears.

"Your real name isn't Envy either, is it?" Edward demanded.

Envy hiccuped. "I'm still Envy. I'll always be Envy! My old name doesn't exist anymore!" He said stubbornly. He hated his real name more than he hated this body, and refused to acknowledge it's existence by saying it out loud.

Edward tentatively lingered in the doorway. He wanted so badly to just slam the door in Envy's face, but something was stopping him. He'd been waiting all this time for Envy to come back, and now he was finally here. But this was not what he expected at all. The guy was a fucking spitting image of Hohenheim, almost just like a younger version of him. He always knew Envy hid his true form, sure, but anything would have been better than this. He felt sick. He had unknowingly fallen in love with his half-brother. That was seriously fucked up.

He thought about the Envy he knew before, with his attractive androgynous body and long flowing dark hair. He was flawless and beautiful. It must be painful for Envy to not be able to be who he wanted to be any longer, Edward knew that. But he was just so damned angry at him for leaving. Maybe he could have handled the truth a little better if Envy hadn't lied about everything and then abandoned him without warning.

Envy shivered in the darkness, his sobs finally subduing. He felt so exposed, so pathetic like this. He opened himself up to Edward and he was still being rejected. If he had just done this in the first place, would anything have been any different at all?

"I think you should leave." Edward finally said.

Envy panicked. No, not this!

"Please just give me another chance. I won't fuck it up this time I swear!" Envy pleaded, his eyes wide in panic. It couldn't just end this way now, not like this. He thought before he would be all right since he'd lived without Edward for this long, but now that he was here he didn't think he could do it a second time.

"I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you did." Edward said quietly, finally looking straight at Envy's face. He looked so different. He actually looked quite masculine with a refined jawline and muscle tone. He was having trouble believing it was even really Envy, even now.

"I know. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. I never have! I'm a fucking selfish piece of shit. I don't deserve anything." Envy agreed with him, shaking his head sadly.

Edward pursed his lips. "I'd have to agree with you on that one."

Envy stopped, his mouth turning down in a frown, almost transforming into a pout. He hadn't really expected Edward to agree with him like that.

For a moment, Edward could actually see Envy behind the blonde hair and golden eyes. He almost smiled. Envy really was in there. And those purple flecks around his irises, they caught his eye. Edward suddenly remembered the last night they were together, he noticed a difference in Envy's eyes even back then. They were mixed gold with purple, though it wasn't as pronounced as it was now.

Edward's eyes turned glossy as he thought of that night he shared with Envy in the grove out in the middle of nowhere. He sniffed and wiped the wetness away from his eyes. The anger was subsiding now after he let it all out. He felt the longing again, only it was tenfold now. Here Envy was, standing right before him within reach. This was what he wanted all along... even if he didn't look the same, he was still Envy on the inside, right? What was he waiting for?

Edward stepped down from his doorway to the ground in front of Envy. He was a little surprised that in his true body, Envy was actually taller than Edward by quite a bit, even though he'd grown in the last year. They used to be closer to the same height.

"C'mere." He said, a small blush forming on his cheekbones as he extended his hand towards Envy.

Envy's face lit up instantly, reaching out to touch Edward's hand with his own.

Edward pulled Envy closer to him, closing the gap between their bodies and he just hugged him. Envy's head rested in the crook of Edward's neck and they stood like that for several minutes.

Envy still smelled the same. Even after all this time, his scent was familiar. Stray tears leaked from Edward's eyes as he held tightly onto Envy.

"You fucking asshole. I missed you so damn much." Edward cursed wetly into Envy's neck.

"I won't hide anything from you ever again. I'll tell you everything." Envy promised.

"What could be worse than this?" Edward laughed trying to find humor in the situation, and squeezed Envy tight. Seriously, what other secrets could he have that were worse than finding out your lover is your long-lost half brother who looks just like your bastard father who you despise.

Envy grimaced. Edward really hated the way he looked, didn't he? "I told you... that I was hideous." He said softly.

Edward pulled back from the hug finally to look at Envy's face closely. He was handsome, now that he was actually looking at him. His eyes were uniquely colored and beautiful. He looked much more refined and masculine than he would have ever guessed, though. Edward was never attracted to men until Envy, but he loved Envy for who he was on the inside.

"You're not... you just... don't look how I expected." Edward admitted.

Envy bit his lip. He hated the way he looked. It's why he changed everything about himself the second he was able.

Edward cupped Envy's face in his hands tenderly, seeing the self-doubt in his eyes. "I do... love you, you know." He murmured, admitting his feelings out loud for the first time. He felt his face heating up uncomfortably with those words. "I never stopped loving you, even when I was so pissed at you for leaving me like that."

Envy stared back at Edward, enthralled with every word he spoke right up until he got to the part where Envy left. His eyes lowered in shame.

"Come inside, alright? It's kind of cold out here." Edward said, seeing the sadness on Envy's face. They had some catching up to do, it seems. He put his hand on Envy's back and guided him through the doorway.

Envy willingly came inside. It was much nicer than his old dump out in the woods. He hadn't been to that place in quite a while, so it was probably worse off now than it was before.

Edward left Envy in the living room and went to the kitchen to make some green tea.

Envy sat on the couch, feeling the plushy surface. It felt nice. It reminded him of Izumi's place, only smaller.

Edward soon emerged from the kitchen and set hot tea down in front of Envy.

He gratefully took the warm cup in his hands and held it close to his face to smell the aroma.

"You really have terrible timing, you know." Edward said, then gave Envy a cryptic look. "You knew about Noah, didn't you?"

Envy looked back up quickly at the mention of her. "Not until I saw you with her today." Envy nearly growled. He was having a hard time reigning in his jealousy at the mention of Noah.

Edward sighed. "You know I waited in that coffee shop for you every single day, and the one day you actually show up I had finally decided to go on a date." He chuckled, able to find humor in the irony.

Envy's breath hitched in his throat. Edward had really waited for him every day there? Now he really felt like a huge piece of shit.

"She's going to be upset." Edward looked troubled.

Envy huffed. Damnit, who gives a shit if shes upset or not?

Edward seemed to read his look and frowned disapprovingly. "She's a nice girl! I don't want to hurt her."

Envy rolled his eyes. "So I'll hurt her for you. I'll tell her to back the fuck off if you won't."

"Envy!" Edward cried out. "It's not that simple. We can't just go advertising our relationship to the world, especially now that you are most definitely a human male."

Envy gave him a weird look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Edward sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It was one thing when you were able to change into a girl... but in this country, this kind of relationship is sort of... frowned upon." He searched for the right words so Envy would understand.

"What do you mean 'this kind of relationship'?" Envy repeated.

"Like, I mean two men! It's not normal, Envy." Edward felt exasperated. Envy should know things like this, how old was he again?

Envy looked confused. Why wouldn't it be normal? It felt perfectly normal to him.

"Look, just don't go around telling everyone we are together, okay?" Edward pleaded with Envy.

Envy gave him a dubious look. He didn't understand. He almost felt like Edward was ashamed of him, wanting to keep him a secret. He didn't like that one bit.

"If you don't tell her I will." Envy said, giving Edward a very serious look.

"Fine, fine! I'll just tell her it can't work. I don't have to tell her why." Edward scratched his head. This was turning out to be more complicated than he thought. He took a long drink of tea, and wiped his mouth.

Envy stared at Edward. Why did he want to keep him a secret? Alphonse already knew, and so did Izumi. They didn't care. Why would anyone else?

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Envy asked quietly into his cup of tea.

Edward looked taken aback. "Of course you can. Where have you been staying all this time, anyway?"

"Mostly with Lust." He admitted. "Then the last couple of days with Izumi Curtis."

"Wait, Lust? She's still alive? And TEACHER?" Edward nearly spilled his tea.

"Yup."

Edward gawked at Envy, unable to believe his ears.

"She knew about you and didn't tell me?" He was about to get pissed.

"No, no! Just since a day ago or so. She recognized me... at the store." Envy's smile faltered. He knew it was because of how he looked. Everyone would know that he was related to Edward somehow.

Edward frowned. "I see. Maybe we'll both go pay Teacher a visit tomorrow. I take it she knows about... us?" He blushed a little.

Envy nodded. "She's the one who talked me into coming to find you. I didn't think you would forgive me for all I've done... but she did." Envy looked away, gripping the teacup tightly in his hands.

Edward's eyes softened. Of course she would. Leave it to Teacher. She always had faith even when no one else did. She knew better than anyone the hardships of love and loss.

Envy set the tea down and curled up on the couch. After this whole ordeal, he was very tired and his gold-purple eyes drooped against his will.

Edward inched closer to Envy and tentatively wrapped his arm around the other male's shoulders. Envy promptly relaxed into his embrace, welcoming it. It was still amazing to him that this was really Envy. That he was actually here with him again. He still felt a little weird about how he looked, but he was trying to get over that. He'd never been shallow before, he wasn't about to start now that Envy had finally come back to him.

Soon the two fell asleep together on the couch. It was a dreamless sleep; the most peaceful one either of them had experienced in over a year.