- Chapter 5: The Journey, Part II -

She would not let him hear her sob. He was in the room in front of hers with only a hall and two thin wooden walls between them. Her objective had been to make Isabela feel like trash, but her plan backfired and it was Alistair who had made herself feel like that. The only time she had ever felt so disgusted at someone before was at Arl Howe. Now she could add two more to that list: Isabela and herself. Her Mother would have been so ashamed.

She was lying on her bed, hair loose and messy after so many twists and turns, and a simple white tunic covering her naked body. The waves that crashed against the boat made it tilt lightly and it felt like a rocking crib. She focused on that sensation while she breathed deeply, trying to slow down her breathing and heart. The noblewoman dried the tears that ran down her face with her hands, covering her swollen eyes.

Elissa couldn't shake the thought out of her mind. She had nothing against the woman, as the jealousy she had felt earlier went away with Alistair's words before dinner. The only reason she found for her pestering Isabela was the simple fact she wanted to annoy Alistair. She wanted him to feel like she had felt back in Denerim, after the Landsmeet. How low of her.

She turned to the side and let the rocking ship take her to the Fade. Her worries would have to wait.

Alistair had heard her go to her room. He had never exploded like that, and now that he had time to think about all that had happened a few moments ago, he realized that no matter how despicable Elissa was behaving, those words he had whispered to her were even worse.

He had called her a bitch. A bitch. Apparently the Blight has changed us both.

Elissa woke up with the sunlight on her face. Her eyes were still swollen from last night's crying, so she had a hard time adjusting them to the daylight. She sat on the edge of her bed, dwelling again on what she had said. I have to make things right.

She got up, got dressed and combed her hair. There was no need to braid it or anything because they would hit land late at night. She paused before she got out of the room, her hand resting on the door handle. She couldn't hear a sound outside, so she figured either Alistair was still in his room or had already gone outside. Elissa took a deep breath, pulled the door handle, opened the door, and walked out of the small room.

She closed the door behind her and turned to her right to climb up the stairs. The sun was burning bright, and she had to cover her eyes with her hand as she walked onto the deck. The elves were busy back and forth, tending to whatever was necessary in the ship. She looked around, searching for any human or dwarf. She saw Isabela right away, standing on the edge of the deck, looking forward. Elissa took a deep breath and walked over to her.

"Isabela…?" Elissa was holding her own hands together. This is going to be an awkward conversation.

Isabela turned around, breaking free of the hold the sea had over her. She looked at her top to bottom, noticing her red hair swirling in the wind and her worried face. She sighed. "Yes, Eliza?" I'm not up for childish play today.

Elissa let out a faint, shameful smile. "It's Elissa. I wanted to… Well…" Her face was starting to match her hair in color, and she looked at the wooden floor.

So the noblewoman and mighty warrior does have a bit of humility. Very well. "Yes, Elissa?"

"I'm sorry," Elissa blurted out. "I had no right to say those things. I know nothing of you and I should be nothing but grateful to you, since you shared your skills with me all those years ago. I don't know what I was thinking, I—"

"I'll tell you what you were thinking, love." Isabela got close to Elissa and lifted her chin up, making her green eyes look straight at her brown ones. "It's perfectly natural to feel defensive about your man when another woman approaches him—"

Elissa stepped away. "He's not my man. And I'm not jealous. I thought I was, but then I figured out all I said was meant to hurt him." She looked at the small waves below, whirling around, mixing the sky blue with the foam white. "It's petty, I know."

Isabela was beginning to understand the young noblewoman who she thought was a spoiled brat. That was just her appearance. Isabela knew that Elissa – I'll try not to get her name wrong again – was indeed a strong woman, both physically and mentally; but something went wrong along the way, and she was certain it had been matters of heart, according to her conversation. "You know, if your objective was to bring a man down, you could have just asked. I tend to be pretty good at that." She winked at her, and Elissa giggled. "Anyway, apology accepted - if you never use me for something again without me knowing it. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Captain." Elissa was feeling a little better. She knew she had no right to be forgiven, but Isabela didn't seem to bother.

"Regarding the Pearl issue… What can I say, I'm a woman of pleasure!"

"Okay Isabela, thank you for your confession."

Isabela laughed. "Anyway, can I count on you to have my back once we get to shore? Will you show me my teachings were any good?"

Even though Elissa didn't fully trust Isabela, she shrugged. "Why not? I guess we'll have to behave as a team, right?"

Isabela smiled, walked past Elissa and patted her on the back. She had to go check if everyone was doing their jobs because the ship slowed down a bit and she couldn't smell the food that should be being cooked as they spoke.

Elissa was left alone on the edge of the deck, so she decided to get closer to the border. That day was pretty much like the day before; the sun was shining intensely, but the sea breeze compensated the heat. The pirate ship sliced through the ocean, letting some small drops of salt water rest on Elissa's face. She couldn't remember the last time she had been on a ship; she could, however, remember her father's face as he picked her up as a child to sit on the edge, looking down at the water while some sea creatures swam by. She often had traveled with her father, and she had seen many places because of him – even though she didn't remember them now.

"Can we talk?" a male husky voice sounded behind her. Elissa didn't even bother turning around.

Alistair sighed and moved to her left side. "You know, I'm not expecting you to apologize – not to Isabela and certainly not to me. But just hear me out." Elissa rolled her eyes. "I'm very, very sorry about what I said yesterday. But we can't afford having what happened yesterday happen again. I need you on your best—"

Elissa turned to face him. "You need me on my best what? Behavior? Shape? Basically you want me here to fight your fights. I realized that yesterday."

"You know that's not right—"

"Then why did you want me here? To protect your royal ass, as you have said before!"

Alistair couldn't help himself; he burst out laughing – those words spoken by such a noble and educated woman just didn't add up. Elissa, however, remained with her angry face. Alistair wiped a tear that had started forming in his right eye and tried to apologize himself. "I—I'm sorry, Elissa. I'm just not used to hearing you say things like that."

"Neither was I when you whispered in my ear yesterday evening."

He had it coming. Alistair took a deep breath. "I know I overreacted. I was starting to panic. I was concerned you two might start a slap contest or something." He didn't get a reaction from Elissa. "There's no excuse for my actions and I know it. But I'm begging you here and now, not for me, but for the sake of this mission: please forgive me."

He held Elissa's hands in his own. She stared down at them. She had to be the bigger person this time. She tried to hold back the tears forming in her eyes and looked at him. Alistair looked saddened, guilty and overall regretful. His blue eyes gleamed with hope. "I don't think I can fully forgive you – at least not for the moment. I can try to tone down the urge of slapping you right this instance and I can try to get along with you all, but I just can't forgive you. It's going to take some time."

Alistair let out a faint smile and gripped her hands closer to his chest. "I think I can work with that."

Elissa then let go of the taller man's grasp. She was starving, so she decided to go check with Isabela if lunch was ready. As she walked away, she turned around to the Warden and with a weak smile she added, "You know, I actually apologized to Isabela."

Alistair laughed. "So time did change you!"

Elissa smiled and carried on her way. Alistair's stomach rumbled loudly and he ran to accompany Elissa, who was already halfway to the dining room. Maybe this meal would be a more pleasant one.

Things were starting to get back to normal, as the four companions had spent the rest of that day getting to know more about each other, what their particular skills were, and how they would complete each other in the case of a fight.

Varric was very fond of his gigantic crossbow – well, gigantic maybe compared to his height – which he named Bianca. He refused to explain the origin of that name, however. He had said he wasn't that very good in close combat, so the party decided to leave him out of the impact zone, attacking and covering his companions with arrows with various qualities: poisoned, on fire, explosive… The man had enough variety of arrows to open a shop in the middle of Kirkwall.

Isabela was a skilled rogue, as was Elissa. They needed to coordinate. Isabela used to fight with two daggers, while Elissa preferred her longsword and dagger. They decided it would be for the best that both of them were right in the middle of the action, with Isabela more in a backstabbing position. In case of ranged attacks, Elissa could join Varric with her archery skill and trustful bow.

Alistair was the only one who was used to fighting with shield and sword. However, he had taught himself how to wield a dagger every once and a while. Alistair would take the warrior position whenever he could use his shield, as this was the stance he was most comfortable in. In any other situation, he would fight with a dagger and a longsword.

The day had gone by quite smoothly and night was approaching.

Isabela and Elissa spent a lot of time together, much to Alistair's disbelief, talking about what had happened after their fortuitous encounter at the Pearl. Isabela proved Elissa was wrong about her, as the noblewoman started to look up to her as an older mentor, listening to her every word about all the adventures she had had with her crew all over Thedas. Isabela was a fearsome pirate and still had time to look gorgeous – Elissa never worried that much about her appearance since her mother died, as she had been her only female reference.

Isabela herself was quite pleased with the younger woman's company, as it wasn't very often she could talk to a female presence without having some kind of sexual connotation – she was actually starting to respect the noblewoman, as she could see Elissa had had a life not so different from her own because they both had to fight their way to prove their place. Their conversation was flowing so naturally she found that Elissa knew how to sing, as she was taught by that Chantry sister companion of hers who also turned out to be a bard. She sang a few tunes shyly at Isabela's request, who made her promise that when they got back to the ship after their mission, she would sing to the crew.

Varric, on the other hand, took the day off to tell Alistair pretty much every story he knew, including the one that starred the bastard prince. "I'll tell you the story they told me…" he had begun.

"Who's they?" asked Alistair.

Varric laughed. Alistair had caught him off guard, as he usually told the story like he was one of the party members, but he shrug it off. "A dwarf who heard it somewhere before! Anyway, the story starts with the entire slaughter of the Cousland family."

Alistair shushed him. "Varric, come on, there's a Cousland not very far from you!"

Varric cleared his throat. "Oh, yes. You're right." He lowered his voice and leaned in closer to Alistair. They were both sitting on the deck, so the height problem was minimal. "Anyway, as I was saying, a great Warden happened to be there – some say he was the one behind the invasion."

"He certainly was not!" Alistair shouted, shocked at the fact that someone could actually think Duncan would do that. He was the best man he had ever known. When he came back to reality, he noticed everyone was staring at him, including the elves that were supposed to be mopping the floors and attending to the sails. Alistair whispered at Varric, "He was not. He was recruiting a warrior to join the Grey Wardens. Now you have at least one true fact."

Varric shrugged. "Whatever, Prince. That's not important."

"And I'm the king, not a prince," Alistair said between teeth.

"Not important either," Varric laughed. "So, as I was saying, the great Warden—"

"Grey Warden."

"Yes, Grey Warden. But he was mighty, so he was great too. Will you ever let me get to the end of the story?"

Alistair sighed. "Carry on, dwarf." He already knew the story, but he was interested in knowing what people outside of Ferelden were actually saying about them and the Order. I'll try not to correct him again, otherwise I'll never hear the end of this.

Varric cleared his throat. "Right. So, the castle was a fiery blaze, the walls were tumbling down, etcetera. The Warden managed to save a single person, a young girl. Turns out she was the Cousland's youngest, a helpless maiden that couldn't even hold a blade." He pointed at Elissa with his head.

Alistair laughed. Elissa not being able to even hold a blade? Now that was a joke.

The dwarf knew his 'facts' were all wrong, but he was a storyteller; some real acts were good, but he could make them better. Elissa not knowing how to fight and then ending up slaying the Archdemon was certainly a story much more interesting than the one with a mighty warrior starting her quest with her skills fully developed.

"The great Warden made her a Grey Warden. She and another Grey Warden, who turned out to be a royal bastard, were assigned to fight at Ostagar. However, the young woman was so scared she convinced the bastard to hide with her for her protection until the battle was over."

"So we're portrayed as cowards. That's a comforting thought."

"Once the battle was over, they got out of their hiding spot and looked at all the bloodshed that had happened. They saw King Cailan's body, alongside the Warden's, ravaged by the darkspawn – they only recognized them because of their armors."

Alistair looked away as he remembered Cailan's body hung in the middle of the bridge – without his armor. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the end of this story.

"The Cousland girl felt utterly guilty, and she decided something must be done. She gathered up her courage and went through all corners of Ferelden, holding the great Warden treaties that urged the people to stand up against a Blight. She got the support from the Mages, the Dwarves and even the Dalish. Arl Eamon of Redcliffe also supported her because he wanted the bastard on the throne." Varric sighed. "Nobles and their schemes, you know?"

Alistair lifted a brow. This story is so wrong in so many ways.

"Talking about schemes, rumor was that the noblewoman and the bastard were romantically involved."

True.

"The other rumor was that the Cousland girl once bedded three greased nugs and a lady pirate," Varric continued, looking at Isabela from the corner of his eye, who was busy making Elissa blush with her pleading for songs. "But that one isn't very believable."

Alistair laughed. "Okay Varric, how does this story end?"

"They gathered a lot of allies. I've heard they had every race: a dwarf, an elf, a Qunari… Even a Chantry sister and a Witch of the Wilds, can you imagine that? Must have been always sunny! Well, a Landsmeet was called and the bastard and Loghain Mac Tir dueled to the death in front of all of those nobles. The bastard won, became king, and ordered Anora executed because she was a threat to his throne."

Not entirely true.

"After that, Denerim was invaded by a huge horde of darkspawn. The Wardens fought them off, went all the way up to the top of FortDrakon, and the poor, defenseless noblewoman struck the killing blow."

A smile appeared on Alistair's lips. "Yes, that's pretty much how it happened… More or less."

Varric poked his arm. "Hold your horses, Prince! The story isn't over yet!" He winked. "After the slaying and the killing, Denerim got back on its feet and the bastard's coronation was grand. He granted the Arl of Amaranthine to the Grey Wardens and Highever was returned to the Couslands, ruled by their eldest who reappeared — he had been lost in the Korcari Wilds. The youngest Cousland, as it's told, had her heart broken by the king, who didn't want her as his queen. The king was loved by all Fereldans, but his love for the noblewoman wasn't enough to surpass his duty – rumor is she couldn't bear children. She disappeared forever, with a broken heart."

Alistair looked blankly at Varric. "Is that what people think happened?"

"It's what I've been told." Varric got up. "There are more rumors, however. Not very important."

Alistair looked up at him. "What are they?" He was hoping it would be something that didn't make him look like such a heartless bastard.

Varric sighed, looking at the girls. "They say she was seen with an elf. Someone to mend her heart, I guess."

Varric walked away, leaving Alistair alone and his suspicion confirmed.

Author's note: HAPPY NEW YEAR, DEAR READERS!

If you're wondering why in Thedas Alistair's eyes are blue, I'm following the comics. He is also slightly red-headed, but I figured maybe it could be the lighting! I'm also a little biased as I played DA:O with a mod to make Alistair look a bit more like Cailan, so he is indeed blond with blue eyes. I also never believed that just because Alistair is king he stopped being a Grey Warden, and that's why Elissa still sees him as her fellow Warden.

I have to thank once again to my beta sarahannmarie123 for her amazing job - correcting me that is :)

So who do you think Eleanor's father is? Do you know? Do *I* know? Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter (even though Elissa is still a little bit mad) and please leave a review! ^^