'Jeff- you're late. Call me.'

It was the fifth voice mail she had left that morning. It wasn't usual for Jeff to be late- he had been arriving promptly and was settling in great with the other paramedics but he still found the concept of his death hard to deal with.

'Morning princess.'

'Oh God- Jeff you look terrible.'

Poly was right- he did look terrible, his skin was gaunt and pale, clinging to his face and eye sockets causing large shadows to overwhelm his face. His eyes were red and bloodshot, his face seemed even more stubbly than the day before.

'What happened?'

'It's nothing, you know.'

Polly touched his arm

'Jeff- what is it?' Her voice was soft and gentle but the words caused him to use all his strength not to let the tears fall.

'It just goes on and on. Never ending. I see the car blow up. I see Dixie scream. I watch as her heart breaks. I watch Tamzin fight and then shatter. It's horrific. I see Ethan too. He crashes. Cal saves him. Cal weeps for his brother. His brother barely lives. Why won't it stop?' Tears were streaming down his face- after all these years he had finally broken, the weight too much to bear alone.

'Jeff. Jeff- it's alright. It's the same for all of us. It goes eventually but you can take something to make them less prominent in your mind.'

'Okay.'

'Look- have today off. Go to the ED and find Patrick or Anna.'

'Thanks Polly.'

'That's perfectly fine.' She hugged him tightly before sending him on his way. She smiled and waved as he looked over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner. As soon as he was out of sight the smile fell off her face. His confession had triggered something inside her. She felt pain, intense pain in her stomach before she collapsed and lay still as her mind fought back.

Hannah was stood there waiting, facing away from her. She turned her over and felt the knife plunge into her chest. Immediately she knew. She just knew. This was the end.

Her body doubled over, she couldn't say anything. It was too shocking, too painful, too terrible. Hannah was smiling, laughing almost. Then the room started to spin, her legs buckled beneath her and she crumpled to the floor. She felt her arms being pulled, being dragged through rooms and corridors. Then it stopped. A door slammed shut and the sound of a bolt being pulled across echoed through her head. For seconds it was silent, then the sound of heavy breathing. It certainly wasn't human. Panic raced through her veins but she couldn't move, she was paralysed in fear and pain. A familiar nuzzle in the nook of her neck calmed her, the warmth and love that could only belong to a dog. As the dog came into eye line she recognised it as Dylan's dog. Dylan- the idiot who had got her here in the first place, currently blissfully unaware of her situation.

Time passed, painfully slowly, she knew she was still bleeding out but couldn't do anything about it. The dog was near useless, just managing to remind her that she was still alive. Then a banging at the door, rattling of the handle. Then he was there. Jay, beautiful Jay. He seemed even more scared than she felt. He took off his scrub top and pressed it to her chest. It was no use- they both knew she had lost too much blood. Then he left, only to return moments later and continue talking to her. His words were blurring together, his face becoming a blur of colours. Then she was lifted, by more hands. Then more voices, barely recognisable but their faces were. Dixie and Jeff. Both saying it would be alright- there words and their faces said entirely different stories. The corridor was blurring, lights became too bright, the air was too cold, burning her lungs. Voices began to fade, her vision went dark, then, finally, she lost all sensation except for a gentle throbbing pain.

Then nothing. Peace. Death.

She awoke with face peering into hers. Her face was warm and damp from her sweat and tears. Sandra helped her to her feet before wrapping her in a tight embrace.

'Okay Polly, okay. I'm here. It's alright. You're safe now.'

'I miss him.' She choked on the words as they mixed with fresh tears

'I know you do. We can look for him later.'

'No. I can't. He is married with a family. I loved Jay. It didn't work. I died. He lived. It's as simple as that.'

'Nothing is simple- ever. Remember that.'