Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Here's a chapter for you (totally appropriate for this lame day) hope you like it and stuff. And yes, I am planning on going back to Thedas, though I have no idea how often. Thank you for your continued support!

- Chapter 14: The Confession -

Alistair was about to enter his room when his hand stopped on the door handle. After thinking about it for a while, he decided to let it go. The King walked to his left and stopped at the next door. He had to do this. Alistair took a deep breath and knocked.

"Who is it?" Elissa asked from the other side.

"It's me."

She knew that voice all too well. "Come in, Alistair."

He turned the door handle and walked in. Elissa was standing in front of the small wooden door that led to her personal bathroom, facing him. Her loose hair fell like a waterfall until about the small of her back. She had a little color to her, as her cheeks were regaining their typical pinkish tone, and was waiting to hear whatever Alistair had to say.

Alistair closed the door behind him.

"I take it it's time for you to tell me whatever you tried to back on the ship?" she asked.

The King sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I think this is the most opportune time, yes."

Elissa laughed. "Well yes, since tomorrow we're going to dance for a while, I think it will be rather difficult for someone not to eavesdrop on us. But there is something I want to ask you first." Her face suddenly hardened. "Why did you kill Yavana?"

Alistair was at a loss for words with that unexpected question, though he could have seen that coming. Elissa never let go of something she was curious about, and he had no choice but to tell her the truth. "I told you before – I'm tired of being a pawn. I have been one all this time. Even when I'm sitting on the throne there's always someone trying to manipulate me, leading me into doing things I have not given much thought about and I just end up doing them, without even thinking of the consequences."

Elissa let a smile appear on her peach lips. "I don't believe that is actually true," she retorted. "Ferelden has been perfectly fine for the last seven years."

"Yes, with choices that were not my own…!" Alistair sighed once again and sat on the bed, letting his head rest on his hands. "Yavana… It was like it was Morrigan all over again," he muttered.

"Morrigan?" Elissa lifted a brow. What does Morrigan have to do with all of this?

He looked at her. "A ritual. Yavana wanted a ritual."

Elissa didn't move. Another ritual? Maker… "What for?" And did you do it? Questions kept piling up in Elissa's head.

"She wanted me to awake a Great Dragon." He looked at her while the shock appeared on her face. "With my blood."

Elissa's eyes widened. "A Great… A Great Dragon?"

Alistair nodded and let Elissa take a few seconds to process that information. After all, no one has ever seen a Great Dragon since the days of Calenhad. Or even heard of them.

When she finally got back to reality, Elissa wanted to know more. "And what's so special about your blood?"

"That's was what I wanted to talk to you about." He looked at the ceiling, secretly praying to the Maker for help. He finally looked at her. "Apparently I still have the old blood of Calenhad in me, as did my father. She said our blood is powerful enough to awaken a Great Dragon." Alistair then got up and faced Elissa. "That is why Aurelius has my father – or had, I don't know. His blood. My blood. And I need to understand why."

Elissa stood still for a while, not knowing what to say. "So what are your plans? To ask for a chat and a tea?" she said jokingly. There he is, Alistair and his crazy, suicidal ideas! I'm actually afraid of his answer…

"I'll think of something tomorrow when I face him. And I remember you were terribly ill to make that kind of jokes," said Alistair with a laugh. "Maybe you could just sing to him with that hypnotic voice of yours. I bet he would give me all the answers I need."

Elissa laughed a little. "Maybe I should use it to get some answers from you."

"Ask away, my dear," Alistair told her with a smile. "I'm an open book."

She got closer to him. Their conversation about Yavana and Titus had nowhere else to go, so she decided to take advantage of that situation in order to satisfy her curiosity. "So… Empress Celene, hm?" she asked with a witty tone in her voice.

The King rolled his eyes and smiled a little. "I think we all agreed on the 'no questions' part."

"Come on Alistair, do you really think you can tell us that and expect me to just let it go?"

"Why are you so interested?" Alistair got up and crossed his arms. He had that typical grin of his on his lips, teasing Elissa purposely.

Elissa put her hands on her hips and raised a brow. "Can't a woman be interested in the future of her country?"

Alistair got close to her. "Is that all you're interested in?" he said in a low, husky voice.

Elissa blushed and stepped back. "What else should I be interested in?" She smiled nervously and leaned against the wall. "Cailan was supposed to do that too. You read the letters when we were in Ostagar. Nevertheless, it's a big deal to unite two countries like that. And I've heard Empress Celene is a very beautiful woman, and I'm just curious."

Alistair sighed and looked at the ceiling. "She is. She looks very regal. A respected woman." With each sentence he got closer to Elissa. "She's blonde." He shrugged. "Blue eyes, I believe." He stood right in front of her, looking into her sea green eyes. "I never gave her an answer."

Elissa's heart was pounding quickly. "Why not?" Her words flew from her lips slowly in a whisper. Don't answer me and just walk away. For the love of Andraste just tell me you're about to tell her to unite your countries. Deep down she was pretty sure of what his answer would be. Part of her actually wanted to hear it, while the other part was hoping that he would really get married to Empress Celene.

He let the palm of his hand meet the wall against which Elissa was leaned, positioning it over her shoulder. What am I doing? He leaned in closer to her until he could feel her rushed breath on his cheek. "Because I'm still waiting for the chance to get my queen back."

Push him away, Elissa, push him away! she kept thinking, but her body wouldn't comply. Her weak heart now controlled every movement she made, and her eyes darted instinctively from Alistair's blue eyes to his lips. The feeling she was used to having in the heat of battle came to her, only this time she was not on the battlefield, she was the battlefield. Her heart and brain were both fighting to gain control of her body.

Just when something clicked in Elissa's mind and she was able to put her hand on Alistair's shoulder to push him away and bring him back to reality, Alistair leaned in and his lips crashed onto hers.

Elissa froze again. All she was able to do was close her eyes, let her hand rest on Alistair's shoulder and let him guide her. Their lips were locked together, moving softly until the kiss deepened.

Alistair took his hand off the wall and placed it on Elissa's face and the other one on her hip, pulling her closer to him. His eyes were closed and her lips were as soft as he remembered, and his mind trailed back to those happy times they had spent together.

After the initial shock, Elissa gave in to him. She missed him more than she could say and that precise moment was perfect. Her brain lost the battle and her heart commanded every single nerve cell in her body. She wrapped her arms around him and let him explore her mouth with his tongue. She moved her hand up until it met his hair and pulled him closer. They were one again, as they had been eight years ago.

Finally his lips parted from hers. Without opening her eyes, Elissa told him in a whisper, "Last time we kissed you were just a Grey Warden." She then opened her eyes and looked up at him.

His blue eyes showed hope. He looked just like the young man Elissa had met roughly eight years ago, but much more confident now. "I'm still me, Elissa," he told her without letting her go.

Elissa pushed him away a little. Their bodies were not locked together anymore and his arms rested at his side. "Are you?" She looked down at the wooden floor, her mind troubled with what she was feeling, how she had felt about him over the years and the consequences of a single kiss. "What are we doing, Alistair?" She smiled unwillingly. She was afraid of what he might say and how that would affect their relationship – and their future.

"Does it matter?" he asked in a low voice. I just want to be with you.

Elissa didn't answer for a while. "Of course it matters," she finally said while looking back at him. "You represent a whole nation, Alistair."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He wasn't understanding Elissa's point.

Tears sprung to Elissa's eyes, but they didn't fall. "You're King."

"So?" Alistair was starting to see where Elissa was getting. Seven years ago he had given the exact same speech. He was King, and they could not have children.

"We can't be together."

Alistair nodded in disbelief. "Elissa…"

"No," she stopped him. "You told me that all those years ago. You couldn't be with me then, and now is an even worse time."

"How is this a worse time?"

"I have a daughter, Alistair!" Her tears finally fell, liquid crystal against her ivory skin.

"Don't you see?" His eyes widened and he grabbed her shoulders gently. "Elissa, you having a daughter is our opportunity. If we marry, Ferelden will have an heir—"

"Marry?!" Elissa stepped away from him. "You left me and now all of a sudden you want to get married? Have you lost your mind?!"

Great timing, Alistair, as always. "Elissa, that's not what I meant—"

"Then what is it? Tell me!" The look on her face was the same he had seen seven years ago on that dreadful night; the anger in her eyes combined with the salty tears that ran down her face only made him feel worse about everything he had done to her.

Alistair sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wanted to explain everything to her, he really did, but he had to be careful with his words. Elissa was already mad at him and if he didn't choose his next words carefully, Maker knew that that woman would be out of his life forever first thing in the morning. "Elissa, please just hear me out."

She seemed to calm down for a while. "Just say what you want to say Alistair, and then leave me alone." The anger she had had a few moments ago was replaced with sadness and despair. I've gone through too much, please do not put me in such a situation again.

He got close to her, but her eyes were fixed on the ground. "Elissa, I know I was stupid, to say the least, to let you go like that. I've never gotten over you." He put his hand on her chin and slowly made her eyes lock with his. He got lost in them for a while because of the stunning effect her tears created in contrast with the green behind them. "That's why I do not have a wife. I cannot. Unless she is you."

A single tear fell from her eye once she heard him say that. She had the same problem as well – she never married because she couldn't bear the fact that her husband would not be Alistair.

Alistair continued, "I was young and foolish back then. All I wanted was to be a good King, but as soon as you were gone, a part of me simply disappeared. You were the one that gave me strength and confidence to take the throne. Without you, I… I'm not whole. I can't be a good King to my country if I do not have you beside me." He paused to see her reaction. She just kept looking at him without saying a word. "Look, all we needed was an heir. Eleanor's your daughter. We'll just say she's mine too. Ferelden knows we were together once and they don't know about the taint. She will be—"

"A bastard," Elissa concluded. "Like her father. The newest members of the Theirin line, both bastards."

Alistair's jaw just dropped. He knew Elissa was right, but those words had hit him where it hurt the most. All his life he saw himself as a bastard, and this little girl – who already was a bastard, but that was not the point – would be presented to all of Ferelden as the bastard's bastard, the next in line to take the throne.

"You're not going to use my daughter as an excuse for us to be together, Alistair." Elissa's face was hard to read: Alistair was not sure if it showed sadness, despair or nostalgia, or all at once.

"I would never do that, Elissa. That was not my point. It's a benefit."

"What kind of benefit may ever come from telling my bastard child you are her father? When the dazzle of being a princess fades, she'll wonder why he never came to see her, why her uncle would go to the Royal Palace so many times and never took her with him!"

Alistair put her hands gently on her shoulders. "Eleanor is a smart girl. Even if those thoughts ever passed through her mind, she would understand. I would raise her like my own – by the Maker, how I wish she was my own!"

Elissa's eyes widened and she became breathless for a while. "Alistair, who—"

He stopped whatever she was going to say. "We're digressing from the main point, Elissa. Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"I got hurt once. I'm not particularly eager to go through it all again."

Alistair sighed. "Elissa, it's going to be different this time…" He noticed she was going to give him some kind of reply, so the King got straight to the point. "I love you, Elissa. I never stopped."

The noblewoman closed her eyes. Alistair, please stop. We'll both get hurt. Again.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me." Alistair paused and looked at the expressionless noblewoman that stood in front of him. "Tell me and I promise you I won't bring this up again. I will leave you alone. We can carry on as friends. But just look me in the eyes and tell me that."

Alistair knew. Elissa knew. They still had feelings for each other, but could she turn him down like he did to her before?

Elissa looked straight into Alistair's eyes. Hers were still teary, but she found the courage she was searching for. It will be best for both of us. "I don't."

"You don't what?" If she doesn't say it all, she doesn't mean it. I know you still do, Elissa.

She looked down at the ground and let another tear fall. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why do you keep yourself from being happy?" he asked.

Elissa looked back up at him. "Because it's not just about me anymore. It's about you, it's about my daughter, it's about Ferelden. Had you not broken up with me before, maybe all of this wouldn't have gone through my mind. But now? There's too much on the line." He looked sad and hopeless. She grabbed Alistair's hands. "Alistair, please… Just let it go."

"I can't, Elissa. It doesn't make sense without you."

"It must." She closed her eyes. She was tired and this conversation was wearing her out. "Alistair, please." Her knees started to tremble.

Alistair noticed it and helped her to the bed where she sat. He waited until her eyes locked with his and with determination he said, "I won't give up on us, Elissa. Not this time." He kissed her forehead and then left her in her room alone.

"I know," she said in a low voice.