The song in this chapter is Untitled by Simple Plan- again, I own nothing
"Kurt, calm down! It's me, Blaine, you were having a nightmare." Kurt bolted away from the other boy, desperately trying to even out his breathing even though he was still petrified. "Shh, Kurt, it was only a dream, you're safe," said Blaine, edging towards the terror stricken boy and placing his hand on Kurt's shoulder.
You're safe, I won't hurt you, you'll enjoy this just as much as I will. Kurt heard the phantom words in his ear and felt nauseous, retracting away from Blaine.
"Kurtie?" Jeff asked, slowly walking towards him and holding up his hands to show be meant no harm, "breathe."
The world was now slowly coming into focus for Kurt and, as he looked around the room, he remembered where he was. Karofsky wasn't here, instead he was replaced with five other boys he had met earlier. Through shuddering breaths, he peered through his wet eyelashes and saw the boy he had been leaning on was Blaine, his roommate and Kurt relaxed slightly- deep down he knew the shorter teen wouldn't hurt him, even if he didn't trust him fully yet. With those final thoughts, Kurt jumped to his feet and, distressed tears still dripping down his face, ran from the room.
Blaine froze, his brain still struggling to register what happened, and watched the door gently shut behind the tearful boy. The noise brought Blaine to his senses and frantically leapt to his feet, only to be stopped by Wes.
"Blaine, stop. Let him go, he needs time."
"But I need-"
"No," said David firmly, joining Wes to help prevent Blaine escaping, "do you remember when you came here? You needed time to be alone and so does he."
"Blaine, he'll be okay," interjected Nick, as Jeff hugged Blaine consolidatingly.
"But what if he-"
"Blaine," Wes said, pulling Blaine back onto the sofa, "you've got to understand, he's not like Mark."
"I know but...I- I just don't want anyone else to have to feel like that."
"And he won't. I said it before and I'll say it again: Kurt will have us, he's safe and you need to understand that."
"Yeah," whispered Blaine through sobs, collapsing into Wes' open arms, "you're right."
Kurt sank onto his bed, trying to calm his breathing and rid the memory from his head. Plugging in his iPod to help him bottle in his aching screams, he flicked through his music, selecting a song. He had changed a lot of it since Karofsky had first attacked him: switching from show tunes to more darker tunes which he felt he could connect to easier. He rested his head back, allowing the music to fill his thoughts: he may not sing anymore but he still liked to listen to it.
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
He thought back to the time he had sat, razor blade in hand, considering his choices, it had been a week after he had first been kissed and the bullying was still getting worse which Kurt had at first thought was impossible.
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
Kurt remembered being sat in glee practice; they had a duet assignment and Kurt was sat forgotten at the back, wondering if he was even noticed anymore.
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
He reminisced in the vague memories when his mom was still around, when all his problems could be solved with cookies and a hug.
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Kurt couldn't hold back the tears threatening to pour down his face and he rolled onto his side, letting them fall. He folded up his legs, holding himself as the sobs shook out of him and he thought about the events from the day, confusion mixing with the pain. Why had Blaine been so kind to him? Did he not know what he was? He remembered what Blaine had said earlier, that he was proud of him. He still didn't understand yet he was still grateful. The shorter boy had treated Kurt with respect, something Kurt had stopped giving himself months ago. Also, why were Nick and Jeff so open with their relationship? Surely they knew what would happen to them? Unless the no bullying policy was actually real..?
Kurt looked up at the ceiling, as if expecting the answers to be there.
'What did I ever do?' He thought, 'why can't I just be normal?' The tears were now dripping onto his bed, dampening the sheets but Kurt didn't really care, merely thankful he could break down somewhere without his father finding out. He knew the effect that could have on his Dad's heart.
He fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time- 10:30. Kurt had recently replaced his old one with an unfashionable yet sturdy Nokia after his old one had been smashed; he still hadn't told his dad about that yet though. Of course, when he had to downgrade his phone he had been upset but part of him couldn't help feeling relieved. The cruel messages he used to receive on his previous number had stopped which meant he never had to be careful about when he went on his phone or the company he was with when he did so. His new phone number Kurt had only given out to his dad and Carole, knowing if he gave it out to Finn, Rachel would soon get it and, from her, the rest if the glee club along with possibly the anonymous sender of the hate. He loved Finn, he really did, but he was very easy to persuade due to his slight lack of brain cells. He felt bad not giving it to Mercedes though, she was his best friend before he had started pulling himself away from his friends, he wasn't sure if they were friends anymore though. Due to Kurt's fright and wariness, they hadn't spoken in weeks. But maybe it was better that way, after everything that had happened, perhaps he was better off without friends?
Then why couldn't Blaine leave him alone? Sure, Kurt was thankful for the other boy's introductions to his friends but why? Why would he want to associate himself with someone as damaged as Kurt? He thought back to when he had woken up and ran out, the pain of Blaine's face had spoken more than words ever could and the shy boy had wanted to hold him and tell him he was okay. But he wasn't.
Kurt briefly considered writing a note for Blaine, just a short oneworded one saying thankyou. It would be easy and he could assure his roommate he didn't hate him, but on the other hand, Kurt didn't want to let him in. Because the closer someone gets to you, the easier it is for you to get hurt. Slowly, Kurt was pulled into sleep's midst and the boy's worries grew less and less powerful.
Blaine gradually walked back to his room, Wes and David at his side to make sure he stayed in his current calm state. It had been an hour since Kurt had disappeared back to the dorm as his friends had restrained him from vanishing after Kurt. The only reason they were letting him back now was because of curfew and even then they had tried to convince him to spend the night in one of their rooms.
"No Wes, Kurt shouldn't stay alone for that long."
"I'm just saying maybe he doesn't want to be with someone else when he wakes up, you saw how he reacted earlier!"
"I have my own bed, I'm not going to be right next to him like before."
"But-"
"Stop Wes, I know you're only caring for me and him but, trust me, it'll be easier to have someone there, even if it doesn't seem that way. Besides, what if he has another nightmare?"
"And then wakes up in a strange room with someone else? Hmm..."
"Yeah, in the darkness unable to see. I should know better than anyone how much nightmares can scare you, and trust me, that didn't seem like an ordinary nightmare."
"Just...we don't want to see you getting hurt," said David eventually.
"And I won't," reassured Blaine, "now, I'm going to go to bed, I suggest you two go as well."
They had came to a stop outside Blaine's door and, after saying their goodbyes, departed in their separate directions. Blaine snuck through the door, cautious so not to frighten Kurt. Although the light was on, the other boy was curled on his bed asleep and Blaine watched him for a moment: he looked so tiny from this angle, almost pitiful. Blaine bit his lip, and, stopping himself from hugging Kurt again, walked over to his bed, collecting his pyjamas and walking into the bathroom. Once he was changed and had cleaned his teeth, the now curly haired boy padded over to Kurt's side, unable to prevent himself from pulling the blanket over Kurt's body. He smiled fondly at him before switching off the light and falling asleep in his own bed.
When Blaine awoke the next morning to the sound of the shower running and he sleepily realised it must be Kurt as the other teenager's bed was now empty. Wincing slightly from the cold, Blaine pulled himself to his feet and slipped on his dressing gown, heading down to the kitchens for his usual coffee.
He returned ten minutes later, holding two beverages having been able to recall Kurt's coffee order from yesterday. However, when he opened the door, the drinks nearly slipped through his grasp from shock.
Kurt was standing by his wardrobe, now facing him and trying to cover his naked chest. They both stood in shock, Blaine feeling slightly nauseated at the previous sight of Kurt's back- it was painted black and blue with large bruises, tainting his porcelain skin. A thick scar ran down his back which he had spotted before Kurt had turned. Kurt's eyes were wide with fear and Blaine knew he should say something soon before Kurt had another panic attack.
"I- erm, I brought you some coffee, I thought you'd like some."
Kurt didn't react, still hyperventilating slightly.
"It's your usual order, the one you told me yesterday? Anyway, I- I'm going to go have a shower, I'll meet you out here in a bit?" Blaine vanished into the bathroom, worrying about Kurt and how he had gotten so hurt. He couldn't believe anyone would want to harm such an innocent, almost childlike boy.
Meanwhile, Kurt was still reeling- Blaine had seen his injuries and was sure to now realise what a loser he was. He was almost guaranteed that by lunch everyone would know and he would lose all chance of being able to be normal even if he had lost it already by not talking. Kurt hurriedly pulled on his blazer and knotted his tie before hastily almost running out the door, not wanting to run into Blaine again. He didn't really care about where he was going, he just wanted to escape to being with himself. To being alone. To being able to shut himself away from the rest of the world.