A/N: Note: the Harvey Birdman, Attorney-at-Law episode "Booty Noir" (mentioned in this chapter) actually first aired in 2005, but let's pretend it first aired in 2003...

Justin's Fine Ass, the Cause of an Existential Crisis?

Brian had just finished his nightly exercise regimen (30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 crunches), which he'd actually been neglecting to do over the last week, basically since he'd met Justin. But on this, their fourth "normal" day of living together, he'd resumed it.

One might wonder why he hadn't resumed his nightly regimen on their second "normal" day of living together. The answer was quite simple. On that day, when Brian had returned home from work (an hour early), Justin had jumped into his arms, which, as it turned out, was but the first sally in a weekend-long sex marathon, beginning on Friday (4pm) and ending on Sunday (6pm). They'd spent that 50-hour period entirely in their new bed, except for bathroom breaks and long hot fellatio-filled showers. Brian wouldn't even let Justin out of bed to cook, so they'd been subsisting on Thai takeout for the most part, eaten in bed (of course, eating in bed was something Brian would never have done before, but it was now just another item on the fast-growing list of ways meeting Justin had changed him).

While Brian had been exercising, Justin had been lying on the couch (on his stomach) watching the Cartoon Network. He was naked, for the two-day ban on clothing had done much to break him of his body-shyness.

Brian sat on the floor next to the couch and continued to wipe the sweat off him with a small towel as he turned his attention to the TV.

After a minute or two, he asked, "Sunshine, what on earth are you watching?"

"Harvey Birdman, Attorney-at-Law. It's hilarious!"

"This episode is called Booty Noir?"

Justin giggled. "Yeah, see, that little green man's name is Myron Reducto. He's a paranoid and obsessive compulsive rival lawyer. He's always brandishing his shrink-ray gun, yelling "Back off! Don't touch me!," and threatening to shrink people. But in this episode, he suffers an existential crisis when he meets Norlissa because not only does he not want to shrink her ass, but he also wants to enlarge it."

Brian nodded solemnly and started caressing Justin's ass. "A perfectly luscious ass has been known to spur, even in the freakiest control freak, an existential crisis."

Justin looked over at Brian and blushed when he saw the intense expression in his eyes.

In the background…Reducto: (nervous) "I'm not quite sure what you're expecting, but this is my first time."

Norlissa: "You're right, baby, it is. Because until you've been with Norlissa, you've never done it right."

Reducto: (calmly) "Don't touch me."

Reducto: (calmly) "Don't touch me."

Reducto: (frantically) "My glasses, what have you done with my glasses? Don't touch me!"

Reducto's high-pitched scream pulled Brian and Justin's attention back to the TV.

Norlissa starts moving downward.

Reducto: "Alright, touch me."

Justin burst out laughing. Brian couldn't help but chuckle, too.

Brian switched the TV off, caressed Justin's ass, and whispered, "Here, get up on your knees."

He climbed up behind Justin and started alternately laying open-mouthed kisses and gentle caresses on his ass cheeks. Then he drew his tongue from the top of Justin's ass down to his entrance and began swirling his tongue around it.

Justin moaned, "Ohh….Brian."

Brian pushed his tongue inside Justin and started moving it in and out. In response, Justin began to pant.

Justin was just about to ask, no beg, Brian to fuck him, when someone pounded on the door. He lifted his head and turned toward the sound.

Brian temporarily stopped his ministrations and roared, "Go away!"

Just as he was about to resume, he heard a woman's voice. "Brian, it's Lindsay. Open up!"

A child's voice added, "Yeah Daddy! It's Gus. Open!"

Brian cursed and stood up. He was about to open the door, buck naked, when Justin, who'd been momentarily stunned, but had since recovered, jumped up and grabbed Brian by the arm.

He pleaded, "Ask her to wait a minute. Please."

Brian couldn't help but chuckle. Justin was in the middle of a full blown freak out and looked fucking adorable.

Brian yelled, "Ok. Just give me a minute."

Justin ran into the bedroom, yanked the wardrobe doors open, and started grabbing clothes frantically. Brian just watched, an amused look on his face.

A few moments later, Justin returned, thrust a pair of light blue jeans and a wife beater into his arms, and then whispered, in an urgent tone, "Put these on and brush your teeth!"

When Brian quirked an eyebrow, Justin shook his head, half-whispered, half-cried, "Oh God…when I think about what you were doing and now I'm going to meet your son for the first time…Go, go, go…," and pushed Brian toward the bathroom. Brian chuckled again, but he did as Justin asked.

In the two minutes it took Brian to dress and brush his teeth, Justin had tried on and rejected three outfits, finally opting for a long-sleeved black button-down shirt and dark blue jeans. On Brian's way back to the door, he unbuttoned Justin's two top buttons (muttering, "I don't date fucking Puritans") and grabbed his hand, pulling him along.

Finally, Brian slid the door open. Justin was incredibly nervous, but managed to smile brightly.

Lindsay set Gus down, and he ran to Brian.

"Sonny boy! What a surprise!" (As he said the last part, he shot Lindsay a stern look. She glanced away uneasily.)

Brian picked Gus up. Once Gus had kissed Brian's cheek, he finally noticed that someone he'd never seen before was attached to his father. He asked, "Who's that?"

Brian smiled. "That's Justin. Daddy's boyfriend."

Lindsay's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. She sputtered, "Boyfriend?"

Brian nodded. He laughed. "I guess you haven't seen Mikey lately."

She shook her head and stared at Justin with a bemused expression on her face.

Justin offered, "Nice to meet you. You must be Gus's mom."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes. I'm Lindsay."

Brian noticed how uncomfortable Justin was becoming with Lindsay staring at him, so he set Gus down, pulled Lindsay aside, and asked, "So…why are you here? Unannounced…"

As she began to explain, Justin inquired, "Do you like to draw, Gus?"

Gus nodded enthusiastically, so Justin took him by the hand and led him to the rug in the middle of the living room. Then he grabbed a sketch pad and pencils and plopped down onto his stomach next to Gus.

"Do you like cats?"

Gus nodded again.

So Justin set about drawing a fluffy Persian cat.

Meanwhile, Lindsay explained to Brian, "Mel and I haven't had much time together lately, and tonight, she surprised me with tickets to the philharmonic. I think I should go. We need a night out together. This is the first weekend this month she's set aside time for us, but the usual babysitter is busy…so I thought…"

Brian turned to look at Justin and Gus. Gus was laughing and clapping. "Pretty cat! Now do…uh…a dog!"

Brian couldn't help but smile. "Okay. We can watch him for a few hours."

Lindsay was so happy that she kissed him. "You're a lifesaver!"

She walked over to Gus and said, "Mommy's going to leave you with Daddy for a little while, but I'll be back soon. Okay?"

Gus was so captivated by Justin's drawing skills that he barely acknowledged her, simply muttering "Okay," but never looking away from the sketch pad.

Lindsay laughed and moved to leave. On her way out she said, "He's cute! But isn't he a bit young for you?"

Brian frowned and gently pushed her out the door.

He deadpanned, "Have fun" and then slid the door shut. Right before it clicked into place, he heard her muttering, "Asshole" as she hit the elevator call button.

Brian joined Gus and Justin on the rug, kissed Gus on the cheek, and asked, "So Sonny boy. What do you think of Justin?"

Gus giggled. "He's cool!"

Justin smiled and then blushed when Brian replied, "The coolest."

Big Boy Toys

Brian had been outside smoking, but was now re-entering the loft. As he walked in, he heard Gus ask Justin, "Does Daddy let you play with the big boy toys?"

Brian stifled a laugh and slid the door closed quietly so as not to interrupt this interesting turn in the conversation. He could see both Gus and Justin, Gus, eyes wide with a curious and somewhat deflated expression on his face, for he just knew Justin was allowed what he was forbidden, and Justin, his eyes wide, too, but in shock, and his face turning a pretty shade of pink.

Justin stammered, "Uh…big boy toys?"

Gus explained, "Yeah. One looks like a really, really big red crayon (he made a circle shape with his hands to indicate its girth). Actually, Daddy has a bunch of those. Some are bigger than the red one and some are smaller. They're all different colors. But Daddy says you can't draw pictures with them. And then, there's the stuff for riding horses."

Justin was beet red now. His voice actually squeaked as he repeated, "Stuff for riding horses?"

Gus nodded vigorously. "Yeah! There's the half pants. They're black. So cool! You don't even have to pull them down to go potty!"

Justin froze, but managed to feign amazement. "Oh wow!"

Gus rambled on. "And then, there's the other thing (he made a whipping motion with his hand) for making the horse do what you want…I didn't see a cowboy hat, but he must have one."

"Oh…yeah. I guess he must." Justin nodded slowly. He looked stricken, as though he were witnessing a train wreck but had no idea what to do or say to end it.

"He has balloons, too. But I don't like them very much. They're sticky and not very big. Well, for balloons. And they look like sticks. They should be round. I told that to Daddy, but he said he likes those ones best. He has fingerpaints, too, but they're all clear. I guess he adds the color. Do you think he uses food coloring?"

"I…I'm not sure. You'd have to ask your Dad."

Suddenly, Brian burst out laughing. He'd made an heroic effort to hold it in (well, insidious was more like it; he was always tickled pink by Justin's embarrassment at frank sex talk, but his reactions to Gus's crude descriptions of his collection of dildos, chaps, crops, condoms, and lube were just delicious). In fact, Brian laughed so hard that his abdomen started to ache, so he was doubled over, arms around his midsection. When Justin caught sight of him by the door, he turned a deeper shade of red, though Brian wouldn't have thought it possible.

Bedtime Story

Gus raised an eyebrow at his father and then, already bored, started looking around the loft. That's when he spotted the new bed. He jumped up immediately and climbed the stairs, finally bounding onto the bed and starting to bounce on it. Justin looked back in alarm and then also jumped up, quickly following the boy.

Gus exclaimed, "Cool bed!" and then catching sight of his reflection in one of the mirrors, added, "Oh…look, that's me!"

Justin stood next to Gus, ready to catch him if he went flying toward either end (the frame was made out of wrought iron) and glanced over at Brian helplessly, with a pink tinge to his cheeks, Brian guessed because Gus had noticed the bed's naughty facets.

Brian joined Justin and Gus in the bedroom and, in an authoritative tone, asked, "Sonny boy, what have I told you about the bed?"

Gus suddenly stopped and answered despondently, "No bouncing and no shoes."

Brian nodded. "That's right."

Justin looked at Gus compassionately as Gus plopped down on his butt and slipped his shoes off. But then, as quickly as the wind, Gus's mood shifted. He scrambled under the covers and cried, "Daddy, tell me a story!"

Brian quirked an eyebrow. "A story?"

Gus nodded excitedly. Brian frowned. He didn't know any stories, no children's stories anyway. But then he looked at Justin, who was smiling at Gus, and an idea popped into his head.

Brian sat down and then patted a spot in between him and Gus. Justin smiled shyly and joined them.

Brian exhaled loudly. "A story…okay. Once upon a time, there lived two trolls. A tall one and a short one. They had hair growing everywhere. Large tufts stuck out of their noses and even their ears."

Gus exclaimed, "Gross!"

"Indeed they were. Anyhow, they, and other forces of darkness, had imprisoned a handsome young prince."

Gus asked curiously, "What was his name?"

Brian looked over at Justin and replied, "Prince Buttercup."

Justin flushed with pleasure.

Gus's eyes widened. "That's not a boy's name. Princes are boys, Daddy!"

Brian chuckled and shrugged. "That was his name."

Gus frowned, and Justin blushed in embarrassment.

Brian continued, "The prince remained locked in the dark tower for many years. He cooked and cleaned for the tall troll, who also lived there…"

Gus interrupted, "Where did the little troll live?"

Brian shrugged. "Under a bridge."

Gus nodded and said, "Oh…" knowingly.

He'd heard that trolls often lived under bridges.

That gave both Brian and Justin a chuckle.

Brian continued (slipping his arms around Justin's waist and pulling him so that he was sitting in between Brian's legs and leaning against his back), "Every day, whenever the prince wasn't slaving away for the tall troll, he fantasized about a certain handsome knight that he'd seen in his dreams. He drew many pictures of him and even wrote stories about how the handsome knight would rescue him from the tower."

Gus asked eagerly, "What was the knight's name? Did he ever come?"

Brian kissed Justin's neck tenderly. "His name was Enigma. Oh yes, he most definitely came (Justin giggled, and Brian pinched his nipple, causing Justin to yelp). But it took a few years. You see, he'd been dreaming about the prince, too. But he didn't know the prince was real. He thought he'd just imagined him."

Gus inquired, "Then how did he find him?"

Brian explained, "Whenever the prince had finished a chapter of one of his stories, he'd send it aloft, letting the wind carry the pages wherever it would."

Justin smiled. Brian was so clever.

Gus's eyes widened. "Did he find some of the papers?"

Brian nodded. "He did. The pages formed a trail…"

Gus interjected, "Like the breadcrumbs in Hansel and Gretel?"

"Yup. They led right to the tower."

"So the knight beat up the tall troll and saved the prince?"

"Indeed, he did. But it took more than just beating up the tall troll. He and the prince were imprisoned by the small troll for a little while after they left the tower."

"Under the bridge?"

Brian nodded. "In a cage. The small troll wanted to eat them for lunch."

Gus gasped. "How did they get out?"

"They tricked him. When he opened the cage to put them in the pot, the prince shouted, 'Oh no! A wildebeest!' The small troll was so dumb that he looked and the knight and the prince ran for their lives into the nearby forest, finally making their way to the knight's castle."

Gus asked softly, "Did they live happily ever after?"

Justin smiled shyly. He was dying to look back at Brian, but he didn't want to put the man on the spot anymore than he already was.

Brian felt Justin tense up. He paused to let him sweat it out a little, but then nuzzled his neck and said, "Well, they had to battle the trolls a few more times, but, when they weren't, they were very happy."

Afraid to ruin the moment, Justin didn't move or say a word, but he flushed with pleasure and smiled brightly.

Seeing Justin smile and color, Brian held him a little tighter.

Then Gus cried, "Tell me another, Daddy!"