Justin held Brian's hand so hard Brian felt like it was in a vise. Unexpectedly, Brian stopped walking and pushed Justin up against one of the courthouse's exterior walls, though he continued to hold Justin's hand. Justin looked at Brian with wide, startled eyes, his breath coming in rapid, shallow puffs. Brian leaned in, pressed his forehead against Justin's, and whispered, "I love you, Buttercup." Brian never tried to reassure Justin by diminishing his anxiety. Instinctively, he knew that that would only make Justin feel even more abnormal and make his anxiety seem even more insurmountable. All he could think to do was to remind Justin that he liked him, loved him, just the way he was, people problem or no. He also hoped that calling Justin Buttercup would remind him of their fortuitous encounter (in cyberspace) and Justin's bravery in coming to meet Brian (in the real world).

Justin flushed with pleasure and smiled shyly. "I love you, too, Enigma." He whispered that last word, as though it were a secret, one to which he alone were privy. And in a way, it was.

The moment Brian initiated had the intended effect. Justin smiled, but not a fake tight smile, and he held Brian's hand more loosely. Brian nudged Justin's nose and then brushed his lips against Justin's. Brian heard Justin's sharp intake of breath, the customary herald of Justin's ravenous kisses. Brian was almost embarrassed by how much he knew about Justin…all his reactions and idiosyncrasies. Almost. In the last month, Brian had been working hard to kill off his inner Mikey, and he was close to succeeding. Now his inner Mikey rarely said anything, and when he did, his voice was barely a whisper. Brian's thoughts were interrupted by the warmth of Justin's lips on his and Justin's tongue demanding entrance. Then Justin's free hand was sliding up the back of Brian's neck, sending shivers down Brian's spine and throughout his body. Justin fisted Brian's hair and pulled him closer, kissing Brian so passionately that Brian couldn't hold back a deep body moan. Brian pressed his body closer to Justin's, pushing Justin harder against the wall.

Unfortunately, Brian's lawyer took that moment to appear. She didn't even break stride. She just hit Brian in the ass with her briefcase and kept on walking. Brian sighed deeply, but followed her in, with Justin in tow.

Justin really wished he could sit with Brian (Brian had to sit at the defendant's table; Justin sat directly behind him in the gallery). He could feel himself tensing up the second Brian's hand left his.

This was the first time Justin had seen Ethan since learning of his treachery (cheating and taping them fucking). All the time he'd spent distracting himself with music must have had an effect on him (in more ways than one) because when he first glimpsed Ethan in the courtroom, snatches of Nine Inch Nails's "Sin" started playing in his head: "I gave you my Purity. My Purity you stole…Stale incense and old sweat and lies lies lies…I'm just an effigy to be disgraced. To be defaced."

The song was like a combination of the absolute best and the absolute worst. Ethan never gave him "the reason" or "the nerve"…and "his kiss" never "got under his skin." That was where Brian came in. But as far as Justin could tell, none of the things Brian gave him had a downside, whereas Ethan had been all downside, especially once Justin had learned the truth. Sudden fear gripped his heart. What if Brian, too, were deceiving him?

No. No. He couldn't think that. Yes, protecting himself better might prevent him from being hurt again, but Justin had never felt so close, so in synch with anyone else…or the incredible happiness being with Brian engendered. Justin wouldn't give up that connection, that bliss, and go back to feeling dead inside, not for the world. Justin felt sure he would never regret a single moment they'd shared, no matter what.

Justin used to find the sight of Ethan calming, well mostly (Ethan had sometimes caused him to feel greater anxiety), but now, nothing seemed familiar about him, and he felt far from safe. When Ethan looked at him, Justin shuddered. Surely, in spite of everything, some vestige of what they had had should remain, altered though it may be. But Justin could perceive nothing of the sort, nothing warm or kind. Justin could have understood if Ethan were angry, after all, he had left Ethan for Brian, but that kind of anger…jealousy should have something akin to like or love beneath it, however hidden it might be. But Justin quickly realized that it was all gone, everything. Three years shared reduced to nothing, not even hatred, but coldness and contempt. Had he made it all up in his head?

Justin was drawn out of his head by the judge. She was speaking. "This is an informal hearing to determine whether this case has merit. The lawyers can make objections, but I'll be asking all the questions. First, I'd like to speak with Rob Stowe."

The troll stood (he'd been sitting in the gallery) and approached the witness stand.

"In your original statement to the police, you said that Brian Kinney attacked Ethan Gold, causing injuries that led to his hospitalization?"

"Yes."

"But you have since recanted?"

"Yes."

"Then what actually happened?"

"Brian came to Ethan's apartment. Ethan attacked him, and he struck Ethan in self-defense. That had the unfortunate consequence of sending Ethan flying into furniture, which led to his hospitalization."

"If that's true, why didn't you say so from the start?"

"Ethan was hurt, at the time, I thought badly, and I was angry. So when Ethan asked me to lie, I agreed."

"And what changed your mind?"

"I didn't want commit perjury, not for a petty vendetta."

"Making a false statement to the police can carry serious consequences, too."

"I know, but…"

"But what?"

"I was willing to risk jail time for my lover when I thought he loved me. Now I know he doesn't. Now I'm no longer willing to risk jail time lying for him. I mean, the whole point of this is to get Justin away from Brian!"

"Justin?"

"Justin Taylor. Ethan and Justin were living together before Justin met Brian. But after that, it was game over." Bitterly, he continued, "Ethan seems to think that if he can get Brian out of the way, Justin will come back to him."

"Mr. Stowe, you may step down. Is Justin Taylor here?"

Justin froze. He'd just barely been holding it together, surrounded as he was by a crowd of strangers, as well as Ethan and the guy with whom he'd cheated on Justin, but in a matter of seconds, he was covered in a cold sweat.

Brian interjected, despite his lawyer's attempts to keep him quiet, "Why do you need to speak to him? He's not involved."

"According to Mr. Stowe, he is."

Justin's voice barely rose above a whisper. "It's okay, Brian." Then he stood. He held onto the wooden fence separating the gallery from the rest of the courtroom to steady himself. In a voice that trembled, he said, "I'm Justin Taylor." Brian slipped his hand on top of Justin's (it was still on the wooden separator) and massaged it lightly.

"Come on up to the witness stand."

Taking strength from Brian's touch, Justin walked around the defendant's table and to the witness stand, though he kept his eyes down. When he felt Ethan's eyes, everyone's eyes, on him, burning into him, he started singing the Cure's "Lovesong" under his breath (it was the last song he'd heard on the radio that morning), "Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am young again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am fun again. However far away, I will always love you. However long I stay, I will always love you. Whatever words I say, I will always love you. I will always love you."

Brian heard him as he passed and recognized the song. He couldn't help but smile. If nothing else, Justin was determined and brave.

When Justin got to the witness stand and sat down, his eyes immediately sought out Brian's. He held Brian's gaze the entire time he was up there (when his eyes were open). Over and over in his head, he repeated, "It's just me and Brian here. No one else."

The judge asked, "Is what Mr. Stowe said true? Were you living with Ethan Gold when you met Brian?"

Softly, slowly, Justin replied, "Yes." Deep breath. "We met online." Deep breath. "After meeting in person, I realized that I had feelings for Brian." Deep breath. "I knew I couldn't be Ethan's boyfriend anymore." Deep breath. "I told Ethan the next day."

"How did Mr. Gold react?"

Deep breath. "He was furious."

"How did Mr. Kinney and Mr. Gold meet?"

Deep breath. "Brian was with me when I was moving out."

"But the alleged assault didn't happen then?"

Deep breath. "No. Brian returned to the apartment…"

"Why?"

Justin bit his lip. Should he lie? He didn't want to get Brian in more trouble. Brian seemed to know what he was thinking. He nodded, urging Justin to speak, or so it seemed. Deep breath. "After I moved out, Ethan drained our mutual bank account. That was all the money I had. Brian offered to try to get it back."

Justin suddenly found it difficult to breathe. He was screwing everything up. He just knew it. He closed his eyes for a moment, but then opened them, trying to focus on Brian and regulate his breathing. He began, "But that's not…"

Justin paused. He was running all his words together, speaking too quickly. He took a deep breath and continued, more slowly, "Brian was able to get the money back without confronting Ethan. It was lying on the counter."

"Then why did they come to blows?"

The prosecutor interjected, "This is all hearsay!"

"Counselor, this isn't a trial. No one is under oath. I'm simply trying to determine whether this case has merit. I get to decide what information will help me to make that determination. Mr. Taylor, answer the question."

Deep breath. "I can't say for sure. I wasn't there. But Brian told me that the door was open, that he entered, and that he was able to recover the money without Ethan noticing. He would have left then, but…"

Justin's stomach was suddenly in knots. He hadn't meant to mention anything about the tapes.

"But…?"

Justin felt dizzy and faint. How could he answer? Then they'd all know…they'd all think he was some kind of pervert.

"Mr. Taylor?"

Justin closed his eyes and tried to breathe. It was so hard to take even one breath. Justin clutched the edge of the witness stand so hard that his knuckles turned white. He heard a loud roar, like the sound of the ocean during a storm, and then Chris's voice. "Fucking pervert!" Then the crack of the bat hitting his skull. Justin flinched. It took all of his willpower not to cry out.

"Mr. Taylor, are you ill?"

Justin opened his eyes. Brian was looking at him intently. Justin blinked a few times and swallowed hard. Then he shook his head. But he was still looking at Brian, repeating (in his head) the mantra that had gotten him this far, "It's just me and Brian here. No one else."

Finally he was able to breathe again. To speak again. "Brian saw that Ethan was watching a video he had made of us, of Ethan and me, without my knowledge or consent."

"A sex tape?"

Justin nodded. Deep breath. "Yes. Brian said something to Ethan about it. That's when it came to blows."

The judge shook her head. "I think I've heard enough. Counselor, given potential bias, even with the witness, you barely had a case. Without your witness, you have none, unless you have more proof to enter into evidence."

"No, your Honor."

"I thought not. Based on what Mr. Stowe and Mr. Taylor have said, it seems clear that this assault charge is just another attempt by Mr. Gold to seek vengeance for purported personal wrongs. These have no place in a criminal court. The assault charge is hereby dismissed."

The judge banged her gavel, and then everyone started talking at once. Justin was still clutching the edge of the witness stand. He started to stand, but he was still shaken up. He wobbled and nearly fell but then a strong hand, Brian's hand, was on his arm, supporting him. Justin smiled weakly and stepped into his arms. They remained there like that, holding each other, until everyone else left.