Dark Hood

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice does not belong to me.

You know that feeling where you haven't studied for a final exam and it'll ruin your life if you fail?

I've never known that feeling.

So I can't exactly describe this endless hopelessness that filled me. It was clawing at me, desperate for some recognition but honestly, I could no longer recognize who I was before this fiesta. I just want to give up.

It seems so easy to just toss everything aside and go on with your life, right? But you're wrong.

Life doesn't fit the way it used to. The world does keep spinning but I'm standing still.

"Hyuuga-san."

Shouldn't there be an end to this? No wonder some people think about committing suicide.

"Hyuuga-san."

Maybe I need someone to slap me in the face and tell me this isn't worth all my efforts.

"Natsume-san!"

"What?!"

Tobita stepped back for a second and then fixed his glasses. "N-narumi-sensei wants me to remind you that there's a party tomorrow..."

I growled at him. He should know better than to inform me of this. I would never go to any of his parties. It's practically worse than suicide.

"Mikan-chan has been invited so I thought it would be worth mentioning."

"..."

"I could arrange for you to -"

"Send me the details later."

He blinked for several seconds as if processing what just happened before heading out. Well, if I was going to commit suicide, this seems like a better idea.

For some odd reason, Ruka had found himself happily courting Imai. It's disgustingly sweet watching him stress over some bouquets of flowers he planned to send to her office meanwhile knowing she would just toss them into the bin. This only made me feel worse since I realized that maybe if I had tried all that with Mikan, we wouldn't be at this stage.

I had constantly tried to get her attention but honestly what did I do to gain it? We refurbished her apartment together, had dinner a few times; I forced her to make me coffee...

Maybe it was subtle.

Or maybe I just never thought it would be this complicated. I like her. She kind of likes me. There's no one between us. So what is it?

This is what I have to tell her.

As I sauntered around Central Town in hopes of some peace, I began thinking up situations that could occur. Maybe, I can collect her? No, she'd just run off. What if I casually bump into her in the party? That works.

Right, so what to say...

Now I just feel like some desperate teenage girl wanting to ask out her crush. Aren't I the head of a successful company? Mature? Sensible? I guess when it comes to love everything is thrown into array.

As my mind rummaged through my memory for some useful information, I passed a shop that sold vintage clothing. Usually you wouldn't see the head of a company staring at the shop window but it was the display that caught me off guard. I tugged at my necktie and gulped.

It was a similar jacket. With an identical dark hood.

Perhaps, there was a way to get into and out of the party without being absolutely tortured.

"Hyuuga-san, your coffee."

It even smelled worse without her here. She can keep avoiding me but will she be ditching work as well? At least I know she isn't working as a maid over at Mother's.

"And Narumi-sensei hopes you arrive on time at his house tonight. It's a... fancy dress party."

I choked a little on my hot drink but quickly regained composure. This man just can't get enough of teasing people can he? Just because he has that little power he abuses it so that we all feel ashamed of ourselves.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Call Ruka and tell him not to go," I grunted, lowering the cup.

"Shouldn't you call him...?"

With a quick glare, Tobita was out of the office and at his desk. Things never really did change drastically after all.

The more light there is then the larger the shadow. But I honestly prefer the darkness of night that falls like a blanket, embracing the shivering city. As I drove past the bus stop, I was reminded of the first day I met her.

Wrapped in a similar jacket, I felt my mind become hazy. No matter how I tried to place myself in her position I couldn't think from her perspective.

Exactly what was she thinking when she came close to me? Why did she just utter those words without a single thought? How did she even know me? Would you go up to a stranger at a bus stop and blurt those kinds of words out?

I just couldn't figure it out.

Soon my car was parked a few blocks away from Narumi's place. (Gosh, I couldn't be caught going to this.)

As if the world felt I needed irony, the murky clouds let out their tears, drenching me with their sorrow. Groaning inwardly, I flipped up my hood so that I was sheltered from their evident pain unlike me.

Music was blaring even though I was still minutes away from his house. I could tell that there was going to be some extravagant performance that would draw attention away during the party. That would work as a diversion while I look for Mikan.

Of course, in my calculations I didn't take into account that there was crazy people that would happily waste their time on Narumi's absurd parties.

As if the massive condo wasn't enough, the diversion turned out to be a massive elephant thumping around, riding drunks around the pool. Like a king, Narumi sat proudly on top of it, screaming absurdities at those below. I kept my head down and kept searching.

Looking for Mikan among this mob was like playing Where's Wallie? world-wide edition. It doesn't help that Mikan wasn't in red and white stripes, she was going to be in black jacket. With her hood up.

The logical side of me tried to say that the chances of her actually being here was slim enough but with the same jacket? That was almost below zero.

But like my mother said, as much as I hate to admit it, I had to 'listen to my heart'. (That has to be the cheesiest thing I've said. I need to cringe.)

As I approached, my jacket acted like an invisibility cloak. I had become a shadow. This made it easy to slip into the crowd and begin my search: the kitchen with drunk scavengers, the living room with openly touchy people dressed like animals being animals, the toilets with the regretful puking people...

It was like watching a rotation of insignificant people.

That was when I realized, if I was able to sneak around like this, how could I possibly find Mikan? A shadow seeking another shadow. Usually I needed to look for the light. Mikan was both mixed into one. The unique one who seemed to understand every last part of me.

Luckily, I had experience spotting the darkness. My eye caught onto a shaded area beyond the pool, nearby the bins. She must be here; she had to be.

The stench of the bins told me otherwise but I felt like I had to find her today. I needed to fix this mess by today. Almost like if I didn't, she might slip away from me like a shadow.

"Mikan?"

My voice was a whisper. Fear was invading my heart, no longer allowing it to guide me.

"Natsume?"

Guess this time I'm on my own.

End of Chapter 18

I cannot express enough gratitude for your patience. I'm so happy that some of you are still reading this and if there are new readers, I'm absolutely stunned! Thanks so much everyone! But I'm trying to end this soon - considering the fact I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I really shouldn't have taken that long break. I know this chapter is quite short so I'll do my best to compensate with a new chapter quickly!

riaanaa - Thank you so much for waiting for so long! I feel so bad for making you wait! You encouraged me to keep writing so I hope you enjoy the results!

AnimeMango - That is a mystery that shall soon be uncovered... I hope. Thank you so much for reviewing! It's really encouraging to see you review my fanfics again. I hope you enjoy the story!