Zevran kept shaking his head on the way home, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles went white. He was mad at himself. What was he doing?
When Alistair had told him about his lack of experience, his first impulse had been to run. The last thing he needed was someone falling for him, someone complicating his life with love. And he would have left, if it hadn't been for Alistair's words, and for the bitterness that had marred his handsome face for a second. Zevran simply couldn't bring himself to leave at that point. How could he let Alistair continue thinking that he was unwanted, undesirable, or whatever silliness the man had come up with?
But, you need to stop it now, you idiot. His foot came down hard on the brake when he realized he was going much too fast. Focus! But, it was no use. He had Alistair on his mind, and he kept analysing the evening, trying to understand what had happened. All he'd wanted was to let Alistair down gently, give him a good time, make him come quickly, and then be out of it.
But instead... For all his faults, Zevran wasn't in the habit of lying to himself. And, if he was honest, he didn't want to end it. He liked Alistair, he really did. Besides, he was still shivering at the memory of his orgasm, so much sweeter, so much more intense than anything he'd experienced in years. He shook his head in incomprehension. What's going on? Did it take a sweet innocent to tickle his fancy nowadays? He was disgusted with himself. Had he really become so jaded? Not a pleasant thought. Still, it was easier to contemplate than the alternative.
With a sigh, Zevran turned into the driveway and got out of the car, making his way up to his apartment. Four days until Christmas Eve. Four whole days to come to his senses and do the decent thing. Four days should be plenty.
He'd had a vague notion of talking to Alistair the next morning, making it clear that they couldn't just go on like this, but when he arrived at the office, Alistair was nowhere to be seen. With a heartfelt sigh, Zevran turned his attention to W.O.D.'s spring marketing campaign. He had quite a few ideas for bringing their name to people's attention, but he already feared Aedan would reject most of them as too frivolous. Such a pity.
Still, he spent an enjoyable few hours mapping out a new, more aggressive social media strategy and checking out venues for a number of events he had in mind. With a sigh, he finally leaned back, ready for a break. Their network of contacts in the medical profession was getting quite impressive, thanks in no small measure to Isabela's efforts, but they still had trouble persuading people to pay for their services. Everyone was enthusiastic about the benefits of having the database available, but when it came to actually laying down money for it… It was fortunate that their financial backer, Cailan Kingsley, was an idealist who didn't seem too worried about the future of his investment.
Stretching languorously, Zevran considered his next move. A cup of coffee would be nice. He also needed to pick up some stuff at the printer room, and he could do that on the way back. Yes. Coffee.
Shale was in the kitchen when he got there, and she'd set out a plate of delicious looking cookies on the countertop. As usual, she was immaculately styled, in a severe but elegant suit, with a beautiful quartz necklace around her neck. There was a deep frown on her face, though, and she was rubbing ineffectually at a smudge on the windowsill with a cleaning rag. "Blasted sparrows. I keep telling Leliana, we ought to get someone to clean them out instead of wasting seeds on them."
"Fine with me." Zevran shrugged. He'd never understood the custom of feeding birds in winter. It only attracted more hungry beaks, in his experience.
"Just you wait. Next thing we'll have pigeons begging for scraps and crapping on the benches." Shale nodded ominously, then retreated to her own little cubicle.
Zevran finished his coffee and made his way to the printer, set up in a small cabinet at the back of the office space. When he arrived, he was greeted by the sight of a familiar broad back, bent down over the toner unit. Alistair was wholly absorbed in his task and didn't notice him until he placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Zev." A bright smile appeared on Alistair's face. "How are you doing? This is such a mess. Printers are demonic appliances, I'm sure of it."
Just then, his phone went off, buzzing insistently. "Oh, shit. Could you-" Alistair raised his blackened hands in a gesture that was almost comical.
"With pleasure." Zevran didn't quite manage to hide his grin.
Alistair kept his phone in the back pockets of his tight jeans, and it was absolutely no sacrifice to dig it out for him. But, just when he had retrieved it, the ringing stopped.
There was a faint blush on Alistair's cheeks, but he was holding up nicely. "Who was it?"
Zevran glanced at the display. "Someone called Cullen."
"Oh." Alistair's blush deepened. "It's probably about that chess game."
When Zevran raised a questioning eyebrow, he laughed, but it seemed a little forced. "He's an old acquaintance from school. I met him at your dojo, remember?"
Zevran nodded. "I thought the name sounded familiar." Yes. He could put a face to the name now. A very attractive face, too. "An old friend, you say. Were the two of you ever-"
"Oh God, no." Alistair just barely stopped himself from wiping his forehead with his hand. "No. You know, back then I was… I didn't really know that I..." He was obviously having a hard time finding the right words. "Besides, I don't think he would have been interested. I mean, there were no girls at school, of course, but I kind of assumed he had a girlfriend somewhere. But, either way, a guy like him, popular, and good-looking? He was a prefect, too, and older than me. He would never have looked at me twice."
"And yet he recognized you straight away." A fact which bothered him a little, Zevran realized. But why would it? Even if that Cullen guy was interested in Alistair, that was only natural and nothing to worry about. He wasn't about to get jealous, was he? Quickly, he brushed the notion aside.
Alistair was still looking around for something to wipe his hands on. He looked adorable, with his hair slightly tousled, and Zevran was struck by a sudden impulse. "You know, querido…" A quick manoeuvre brought Alistair with his back against the wall, hands well away from his body. "It just occurs to me that it would be really easy to take advantage of you right now." Stepping closer, he pinned Alistair to the wall with his hips. A hasty glance over his shoulder told him they were alone and undisturbed, at least for the time being.
Alistair groaned in surprise. The expression on his face vacillated between indignation and arousal, but his body was obviously less torn on how to react. Zevran moaned happily, rubbing himself against Alistair's torso like a cat, running his hands all over that lovely, firm body.
"God, Zevran." Alistair sounded raw, and he was already fully hard, straining against his jeans.
Zevran caught his lips in a long, deep kiss, drinking in his sighs, tasting his need. Alistair responded with the same enthusiasm, and it was wildly intoxicating. Caught up in a sudden rush of arousal, Zevran didn't care where they were, didn't care that any moment anybody could walk in and-
"Oh goodness, really?" Morrigan's disgusted voice was like an ice-cold shower. "Get a room, will you."
There was a pained sound from Alistair, even though Morrigan had already stepped back and left them alone. "Oh shit."
Zevran stepped back immediately, doing his best to hide his amusement as he tossed Alistair a rag for cleaning his hands. "I'm sorry, querido. I… got carried away."
Alistair looked predictably mortified, but to his credit, he didn't try to put all the blame on Zevran alone. "Just my luck to have her walk in. Morrigan, of all people!" He shook his head. "How am I ever… I guess I'll just be standing over here until the blushing stops, right?"
Zevran laughed softly. "Awww, come on. I'm sure Morrigan has seen worse. But, maybe we ought to find a way to spend some time alone together, and soon. Somehow I don't think I can wait until the weekend."
"Me neither." Alistair smiled sheepishly. "Besides, Saturday is Christmas Day."
"Yes. I had almost forgotten." Zevran sighed.
"Will you be spending Christmas with your family? Maybe travel home?" It was a perfectly natural question, and Alistair sounded completely innocuous, but Zevran felt his mood darken.
"Absolutely not." He had never liked Christmas, for a plethora of reasons. And as for family- It occurred to him that Alistair appeared quite shaken by his brusque answer, and he relented a little. "I don't have any living relatives back there. And, if I had, I wouldn't want to see them."
"Ah." Alistair nodded, but didn't ask more. Zevran was grateful, all things considered.
"So, to get back to our earlier and decidedly more pleasant topic of conversation…" He smiled widely to make up for his earlier abruptness. "I'll have to put in a few late shifts today and tomorrow, but what about Wednesday night? The 22nd? You could come over to my place, if you'd like."
And just like that, they had another date.
Alistair spent the rest of the day hiding away in some server room or other, but Zevran didn't have that luxury. Sooner or later he would have to talk to Morrigan, and he decided not to postpone the inevitable. When he spotted her alone at a table at lunch, he walked over and put his tray down with a questioning glance, receiving a cool nod in response.
"Morrigan. How are you doing? I hope…" Zevran struggled to come up with a suitably light-hearted reference to what had happened earlier that day. It was harder than he'd expected.
She returned his greeting with a perfunctory smile. "Zevran. What an unfortunate incident. I must say, I was surprised."
"Oh?" Instinctively, he leant back, crossing both arms in front of his chest, then ended up cursing himself for being so obviously defensive. "Why is that?"
"Well, not at catching you in a delicate situation, to be honest." Her tone was dry as bone. "But, really, Alistair?" Her left eyebrow shot up almost all the way to her hairline. "I didn't think he'd be your type. Too naïve, too ingenuous. And far too awkward."
"Alistair isn't stupid." Once again, Zevran had no idea where the words had come from. "Anything but!" Oh, great. If he started passionately defending Alistair, soon enough everyone would know-
"I never said he was." Morrigan favored him with another icy smile, but Zevran barely heard her words as the realization hit him.
Of course everyone knew. It was blindingly obvious, and he himself was probably the last person to see it.
He was in love.
More hugs and thanks to suilven. Best beta I could wish for. :)