Dark Hood

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of the characters but this story is entirely mine.

I am disgusted with everything. But most of all... Narumi. This burning rage even surpassed my never-ending hatred for my useless self.

Even facing the blank ceiling in absolute boredom, I wanted to get up and slap the man. In fact, I would happily do that except for the fact I didn't know where he was at this very moment and my arm was hooked onto some silly IV. I just drowned; it wasn't like a car crash.

All I could remember was intense pain with every breath I took like there was an unsatisfied fire in my lungs. My vision was blurry and hearing muted like I was in a trance except for the very real pain. I don't remember anything else after that. Water which was so clear seemed poison to me yet here I was, trying to suck in more.

"Natsume!"

I didn't even bother acknowledging him. My head still hurt and moving just seemed like such a bother.

"How the hell did you fall into a pool of all things? At a party! Natsume, you know how to swim for goodness sake! Do you know your mother's going to kill you?" Ruka ranted on in an enraged voice that I hadn't heard in a while.

This Ruka might even rival my mother's. Thank God for private rooms otherwise the whole hospital might be able to hear it. When finally he settled down on the chair, I would rather have him keep screaming. Bellow at me. Just slap me. That pitiful spark in his eyes that make me feel even more worthless.

"Tell me it wasn't suicide."

"Ruka, shut up."

His cerulean orbs widened with panic now stuck on his face like glue. Soon that turned into a mocking anger. "Oh for fuck's sake please tell me you did not tell me you just -"

"I didn't!" I exasperated.

Although I couldn't convince myself as well as that. During that time, letting go seemed a lot easier.

"Well... Just rest easy alright? I've got your mum sorted but she'll come see you some time soon. And Tobita is standing in for you and such. Koizumi was concerned but she went home just half an hour before you woke up."

I didn't know if he purposefully left her out or not. Perhaps it was just that she had left me to die in the pool. But just mentioning her name might cause me to barf, to want to be back in that pool. Or maybe I'd just feel the way I am now: numb.

"Natsme, stay over at mine. At this point I don't know whether to support you or advise you to give up. But we haven't had time together like we did before."

"I can think for myself," I scowled at him. I didn't need him to baby me.

"I would like to think that but the amount of idiotic things you've done..."

"Not everyone is like you, Mr. I-love-courting."

"Well at least I have a girlfriend."

We grew quiet after that, feeling the heaviness of what he had just said. Just a while ago this wouldn't have bothered them but just getting involved in any romance seemed to flip their lives around. Especially with me.

I could have had any girl I liked but I just had to fall for her. How stupid do I get?

"You know... she was the one to dive in after you," he started, "She dragged you out of the pool and gave you CPR when you stopped breathing. I don't know any details but Natsume, she was here."

Did he want a reply from me? Or was this some cliché movie clip where I have a sudden flashback to the moment our lips touched and I groggily open my eyes just to gaze into those hazel orbs? Or recall the dark but hear her sickeningly sweet voice whisper a gentle confession?

Get a grip, Natsume. How stupid can you get? How messed up does this world get?

At last, Ruka stood up.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow."

Luckily, patients like me (rich and attractive apparently) can get away with many things. Once the doctor had confirmed my health then the nurses were more lenient. I could wander around with that useless thing hooked onto my bloodstream and somehow convince the nurses to direct my mother to the other direction.

Ruka was right. I just needed some time off to think. And to that extent, I had jumped into a pool. (Well not technically jump but accidently slip into but both sound bad.)

"Hyuuga-san, there is another visitor for you," the nurse whose name I cannot recall announced at the door before slipping away for another girl to enter.

Honestly I half-expected it to be my furious mother but when I saw her face, I would have really preferred my overly-attached parent.

"Imai."

"Hyuuga. Heard you nearly died," she remarked in such a cool way I was almost intimidated by her presences. She seated herself on the guest chair and I tucked the book I was staring at blankly to the side before staring at her as if telling her to proceed with whether she had planned.

"Ruka is quite useless when dealing with relationships. He didn't do as I instructed and told you about Mikan, am I right?"

I glared at her. Was she really here just to take a glimpse at how broken I can be? Just to mock this last prideful sanity I have inside?

"Can you get out?" I spat out.

"Not until I get you sorted." Imai crossed her legs in one quick motion and then she was leaning in towards me. "Listen, I don't know what you said to her but I can tell you that it does no good. She's troubled enough as it is with her life and we don't need you."

We? Since when was she involved?

"Give her some time. You already know she likes you don't you? Isn't that enough?"

"Imai, would Ruka loving you from afar be enough?"

Her amethyst eyes were somewhat clouded as she stared at me so it wasn't so much as a surprise when her usual powerful voice was weakened to a soft whisper. "I've known Mikan almost all my life. She's a sister to me so I can't let her get hurt anymore. That idiot wouldn't let anyone see her cry because she always needed to smile. You know about her Jii-chan don't you?

"When you were drowning, she cried. When you stopped breathing, she cried. She thought she might lose you like she did with her Jii-chan. I disapproved of you from the start, Hyuuga. You've hurt her enough."

I gazed up to the empty ceiling, trying piece things together. Love was confusing. So confusing. We loved each other yet we hurt each other.

Sadistically, my lips curled into something similar to a smirk. "I surrender."

She would drive me insane, haunt me, torment me even in death. Giving up wasn't an option and we all knew that.

"Mikan will be with me for a while. We might just go back to the countryside. Be patient Hyuuga. If you really love her then it's worth the wait."

After some shuffling, Imai departed. She'd given up on me as well. Or was it more that I had given up on myself?

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I wondered if it stopped, it meant that I would stop breathing. Stupid thoughts for my stupid self.

There were people in the floor below wanting to breath one last breath, to whisper one last farewell to their loves and here I was, not caring for their pitiful state. Instead, I complain. Instead, I want to return to that moment in the pool where I felt that death might have been the right way out. Where silence was my confidant and darkness was my solitude.

"Mikan."

The word seemed raw. I was tired now. Love isn't so warm or as soft as it seems to you. It gave you a quick taste of what it could be before cruelly snatching it from you. How bitter can this be?

"Mikan."

She would be gone soon. How long would it be until I could see her again? My voice was wavering and the dripping continues in an unsteady tempo.

Drip-drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Finally, I forced myself up from the hospital bed and headed outside. I needed air.

"Natsume."

An angelic voice that called out to me. For some reason, I felt it would be a bad decision to turn around and face her. What if she was here to say goodbye? Could I bear it anymore?

But when I saw her silly pigtails, her dark jacket and sincere eyes filled with unshed tears, I knew it was worth it. It would be worth suffering for the rest of my life just to be with her even if it was to be five minutes.

"Mikan."

It was an automatic response. I couldn't even comprehend it as she reached out to me. It seemed that both of us were caught in the same trance. Her nimble fingers tracing the sides of my face as I flung my arms around her waist.

"You're alive. Thank god you're alive."

Her voice was shaky just like her hands, touching me as if I were only a mirage that might disappear. Although I wanted to comfort her, I felt the same worry. Mikan could easily disappear without a trace like thin air.

"I thought you were gone."

"Koko pulled some strings," she chuckled weakly.

My hands brushed against her cheeks, stained with tears. But I didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse. These tears belonged to me. They existed because of me.

"Are you leaving me?"

She stiffened suddenly and fear filled my entire body. The adrenaline before was ceased and reality became to cloud me. She had to go. She had more important things to do.

"When I thought you might die, I was so scared, you know? I realized it didn't matter how much you mourn, if I didn't do things when you're alive then it's pointless."

"Do you still plan on leaving?"

She frowned at me, "Leaving? Where to?"

"Imai said... Never mind. I'll get her later."

"Natsume, I... really really like you."

I almost scoffed at her innocent confession. So blunt that it completely shattered my loathing from before. Mikan was going to be here with me. And I was going to keep her with me whether she liked it or not.

"Mikan I love you. So don't ever leave."

"I won't," she smiled, "And you can't leave me either."

Swiftly, she tilted her head up and pressed her lips gently against mine. It wasn't passionate. Just something to remind each other that we were alive. We were together.

"Oh before I forget," she stuffed her hand into her pocket, unfazed by our short kiss. Grinning idiotically like she had just won the lottery, she shoved a cold can at me. "It's instant black coffee. That's why Iinchou could never get it to taste right."

I glared at her, "Mikan Sakura, for months you have made me crave the stupidest thing on earth."

Love is for idiots. Guess that's why I am one too.

End