Zevran busied himself making coffee and digging through the cupboards for food while Alistair was gazing around his apartment with no small amount of curiosity. Well, it was pretty spectacular, when one got to see it for the first time. The loft had been a lucky find, close to work and just about affordable, and Zevran loved everything about it: the wide, open space, the high ceilings, the large, airy windows with their view of the rooftops surrounding them.

Alistair ran his hand appreciatively over the fine leather of the couch, then turned to face him. "This place is amazing. But, don't you ever wish you could just close a door behind you?"

Zevran grinned. He was used to the question. "I live alone," he pointed out. "Besides, there's always the bathroom. And it's handy, having everything in one place."

As if drawn by invisible strings, both their heads turned to look at the bed in the corner, a simple futon covered in plain, white sheets. Alistair didn't reply, just ran two fingers along the neckline of his shirt, as if he was suddenly too hot.

Zevran turned back to his task, smiling to himself. It was nice to have Alistair here, nice to observe his reactions to the erotic photographs on the walls, nice to hear his low whistle of appreciation when he discovered the stereo system. He was glad he hadn't cancelled their date, even though a small voice at the back of his mind had been niggling at him for the past two days.

"Zev?" He was torn from his thoughts by a deep voice right behind him.

Swivelling around, he found himself almost chest to chest with Alistair, surrounded by his warmth. He really does run hot, doesn't he?

"Are you hungry?" he inquired, gesturing at the bag of peanuts on the counter. "If you want more than just a snack, I'm afraid-"

""Yes." Alistair surprised him by stepping even closer. There was an expression of single-minded focus in his face, and his eyes were dark, the pupils almost drowning out the irises. "Yes, I'm hungry," he repeated, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Without waiting for a reply, he put both hands on Zevran's hips, then slid them further back to cup his ass. Zevran just barely managed to avoid an undignified squeak of surprise as Alistair lifted him bodily, setting him down on the counter and stepping between his legs.

And then his lips found Zevran's, and they were kissing again, deeply and passionately, and yes, Alistair was hungry for it, so eager that it was quite irresistible. Within moments, the world around them had shrunk to Alistair's hot mouth on his, Alistair's strong hands on his thighs, the insistent pressure of his hard cock against Zevran's own erection.

He was shaking with desire, but at the same time, he didn't want the kisses to stop. He wanted to drown in them, relish every single one and lose himself completely in the taste, the heat, the sweetness of it all.

It was funny, he dimly thought, how good it was just to kiss again. It had been a long time since he'd last devoted so much time to that activity. Usually, he would be headed for bed by this point, half naked, hands everywhere. But this was… nice. It wasn't even that Alistair was a particularly skilled kisser, though his enthusiasm was certainly contagious. No, it was the sheer pleasure of drawing things out, of enjoying every kiss for what it was, of playing with the anticipation of what was to come. Zevran made a mental note to himself. Don't neglect kissing. Next time he was with a new partner, he would-

But no, he didn't want to think of anyone else now. He was with Alistair now, Alistair who was trembling all over, his lips swollen and warm and delicious.

"Zev?" He sounded tentative. "Can I…"

Suddenly, his hand was on Zevran's crotch, shaky and uncertain, but he patiently worked on the buttons of his jeans until they gave way. Zevran helped by arching up his hips and sliding off the counter, pushing his clothes down far enough to allow Alistair access. He'd expected Alistair to take hold of him and stroke him, like he'd done before. So he was utterly surprised when, instead of that, he fell to his knees, glancing up at Zevran with a look that was equal parts seduction and nervousness.

"God, Alistair." Seeing him down there, those perfect lips only inches from his straining cock, did things to Zevran that he couldn't put into words. Part of him wanted to grab Alistair, to drag him over to the bed, to-

Alistair bent forward and licked a long, measured stripe up all the way from his balls to the tip, and Zevran nearly lost it completely. Digging his fingers deep into Alistair's shoulders, he held on for dear life, groaning desperately.

Alistair gave him another shy, questioning look, but he was apparently content with the result of his efforts, because he set to it again, closing his lips around Zevran's cock, warm and wet and perfect. He didn't actually manage to take him very deep, just sucked lightly, his tongue lapping against skin that was suddenly too sensitive. Nothing special or spectacular, but for some reason it was so much better than it had ever been, and he- Zevran's vision went white for a moment, and he simply couldn't prevent his hips from snapping forward, making Alistair gag.

"Oh God, Alistair, I'm so sorry." Zevran was mortified. "I… I really should have more control. Are you okay?"

Alistair nodded and pulled back, reluctantly letting go of him. "I'm fine." There was a rough tremor in his voice, and it made Zevran forget about everything else.

"Please, querido…" He hardly recognized his own voice, choked with need. Very carefully, he placed a hand on the back of Alistair's head, threading his fingers through his damp hair, not quite trusting himself not to yank him too hard. "Please… I need…"

And then those lips were back, soft and sweet, and Zevran gave up all attempts at conscious thought as he felt the heat of Alistair's mouth surround him once more. Heat and pressure and suction, and the titillating flutter of a tongue, over and over, patient and persistent. Some part of him wanted to call a halt before it was too late, because there were so many other things he wanted to do. But, at the same time it felt so good, so mind-blowingly, blindingly good that he didn't want Alistair to stop, not now, not ever, not for a single moment-

He came with a shout, too overcome to warn Alistair, too far gone for any kind of refinement, shaking and babbling and helpless.

Alistair's palms were firm on the back of Zevran's thighs, and they held him as he slid down to the floor, until he was on his knees, too, kissing Alistair again, moaning when he tasted himself in his mouth. So fucking perfect.

It took him a moment to recover enough, but as soon as he could, Zevran got to his feet and took Alistair's hand, leading him over to the bed and getting rid of his remaining clothes in the process. "Your turn, querido."

He took his time undressing Alistair, working him all over, with hands and lips and teeth and tongue. Using all his skill, he showed him sensitive spots he'd never known he possessed, did his best to keep him perched on the edge forever, to make him beg and cry and laugh. Alistair responded beautifully, moaning and writhing, the tension in his body coiling ever tighter until he finally surrendered. By the time Zevran sat back to admire his handiwork, Alistair was panting, his flanks trembling with exhaustion, his stomach covered in come. And the expression in his eyes…

Zevran's chest contracted so painfully he just barely stopped himself from crying out, and he had to look away, in a desperate effort to collect himself. But it was no use. This was scarily familiar. This was Rinna all over again, the intensity, the longing, the sheer need. The love.

"Zev?" Alistair sounded confused, and somehow very young. "Everything all right?"

"Sure." He smiled mechanically, forcing himself to appear light and unaffected. "What about you?"

"I…" Alistair swallowed. "God, Zev, I had no idea…" He sat up, looking at Zevran earnestly. "That was incredible. You are incredible."

"That's pretty much what I was hoping to hear, thanks." Again, he aimed for lightness, but at the same time his heart did that thing again, flipping over and beating so hard it hurt, and he had to get away, before he ended up saying something he'd regret, something far too serious, far too involved.

Giving himself a push, he got to his feet and walked over to the stereo. Maybe some music would help calm him down. But, before he had picked a track, Alistair interrupted him. "Say, Zev…"

"Mmhmmm?" Zevran didn't look up.

"Would you like to come over to my place on Christmas Day?" Alistair was talking quickly, as if he was afraid Zevran wouldn't let him finish. "I know you're not into all the holiday stuff, but we could just… hang out together, you know? Because I don't have anyone else, and I really like you, and…" He trailed off.

Zevran didn't reply. The pain was still there, and it was worse than before, burrowing through his chest like a parasite. Damn it, what have I done? He was utterly mad at himself. Why hadn't he stopped this earlier? He'd known where they were headed, he'd known Alistair wanted more than sex, and yet he hadn't been able to keep away. Because it had all been so sweet, so gentle, so exhilarating. So wonderful.

It was too late to end this without pain now, but he knew what he had to do. Better now than later.

"Look, Alistair…" He turned back, unsmiling. "You're a really nice guy, and I had a lot of fun tonight, but you know that's all there is, right? I don't do family holidays, and I don't do romance." He went on, ignoring the hurt on Alistair's face, ignoring the way he was gripping the sheets, hard enough to make tears appear in the fabric. "I was a fool to let this go on for as long as I did." He closed his eyes, turning his face the other way while he waited for Alistair's reply.

But, there was none. He'd expected protests, recriminations, maybe even begging and crying. But Alistair didn't say a single word. He just reached for his clothes and quietly got dressed. His face was pale and stony, a slight tremble of his hands all that betrayed his agitation. When he reached the door, he looked at Zevran once more, as if giving him a last chance to change his mind. When Zevran remained quiet, he nodded once, briefly, and left.

The door fell shut behind him. He was gone.

Huggles to suilven for all her help and support!