K~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tamaki, I told you. It's not like that." My blonde friend waggled his eyebrows at me. "It's just business."

"Kyoya, I've known you the longest of our friends. You're my best friend; and, I promise you I know when you're conducting business. This is not business. She is not business."

"Miss Mooreson and I have reached an agreement: in exchange for the fame associating with me will bring her career, she will pose as my girlfriend until my father's deadline has passed." I opened my laptop and moved to my sofa.

"Nevertheless, Kyoya, you have reasons beyond your mutual benefit for choosing Judy. You wouldn't let anyone be that close to you unless you cared for them. I flatter myself that I am one of very few who is close to you."

I sighed. "You're right that you are one of my few close friends, but Judy is a business deal."

"I'm not stupid, Kyoya. I see the way you look at her when you think no one is looking. Haruhi sees it, too." I looked up in alarm. "Only those who know you would notice, but we do notice. You look at her the way I look at Haruhi. You ushered her around this season, not as an escort would, but as someone who has invested his heart."

Heart? Have I done such an idiotic thing? No, I haven't. Not yet, at least. Even though Tamaki is obnoxious, he is very observant and I'm glad he talked to me about this. It serves to check my behavior. "I don't see any other way to display a relationship. In order for the family to accept an alliance with a foreigner, I have to act in love with her. Otherwise, they'd see through it."

Tamaki hung his head and released a long breath. When he brought his eyes to meet mine, the look of complete understanding, acceptance, and pity threw me. "You've always struggled with being honest with yourself, Kyoya. You've hidden your good intent and actions behind so many smoke screens and mirrors that even you have trouble identifying what you want. I just hope that you don't get hurt before the end of this."

He smiled as he reached for the door. I didn't say anything to stop him as I heard the latch click. When my eyes focused back on the laptop screen, the wallpaper greeted me. One side was a radiant Judy looking up at me as I smiled for the paparazzi, and the other side was a beaten Judy with a wild, broken stare. As if I haven't been reminded already of my carelessness, now my notebook is screaming my stupidity! Careless. She really is all I've been thinking about lately. My original intent for the background had been to help focus my mind on keeping her safe. I really wasn't sure what I wanted anymore.

"Do I want a girl who won't further business?" I flung the question into my empty room.

"Do I want freedom? Do I want love? Do I want revenge? For me? For her?" I really don't know. What started as business in the original sense of the word turned into personal interest, then back to business, then to personal interest again, and then revenge for both parties. It's so convoluted now that I can't see which one is the right motive.

I picked up my cell. If I can't understand myself, then maybe I can understand her.

J~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haruhi had left to meet Tamaki, and I was sitting on the window seat enjoying the late afternoon sun. I had just about drifted to sleep when my cell rang.

"Hello?… Hi, Kyoya." Normally a call from Kyoya put me a bit on edge, but after hearing Haruhi say I was one of "the chosen," I felt a strange alacrity when I heard his voice.

"Judy, do you have time this evening?"

My heart skipped a beat. He's calling without an appointment or official engagement to attend. "My night's open. What would you like to do?"

"I'd like to talk to you. Would you like to come to my place for dinner?" He sounds cold, like he used to; but he's usually like that. Isn't he?

"Actually, I'd like you to come see me, if you don't mind."

"Alright. I'll be over in an hour."

"I'll have dinner ready, then." I hung up the phone. Lately, Kyoya hasn't lorded his protection detail over me. He's just been very considerate. Sure, he's still sarcastic and cool, but recently his demeanor has softened, his touches are more gentle, and his smile seems genuine. The thought of the few times he'd hugged me in private made my heart race now. Before, those incidents had made me flustered and angry when I thought of them. I mustn't get too carried away, though. This is just business for him. He gets out of his family's clutches, and I get publicity for my career. Not to mention, I also get around the clock security, which is nice considering Jackson is coming and Sato is lurking.

With that last thought, I decided to end my musings and focus on the meal. By the time Kyoya knocked on the door, I had just finished setting the table.

"Hello there, stranger," I greeted. He looks anything but happy. "Kyoya, is something wrong?" I shut the door and followed him to the table. I guess he's just really hungry.

As I dished out portions for us, I glanced up occasionally to find him staring fixedly at me. "If you keep staring like that, you're going to burn a whole through my head, Kyoya." He released an undignified snort. Seems he's not used to being caught. I smirked and sat opposite him.

"Judy, why did you come to Japan?" His timbre was low and even. Not expecting that.

"I told you." I cast my eyes on my food. "I wanted to explore new possibilities in music."

"Why do you continue to stay," he queried in monotone. Why do I stay? To escape Jackson? No, he'll find me wherever I am. Why? My eyes fell on the place settings, and I noticed we lacked beverages.

"I forgot drinks." I slipped from my chair and asked, "What would you like? Water? Tea?"

"Water, thank you." He seems so lifeless tonight.

I poured two glasses of water and set one down at my plate as I walked to Kyoya's side of the table. I put the drink in front of him and was about to return to my seat when-

"Kyoya?" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his lap. NO! This is uneasily familiar.

"Why do you stay," he whispered.

My breathing sped up. "huh. HHiihh." Dang it!

His lips were nearly touching my ear as he breathed out, "Our little ploy is making my family nervous about losing their share in the company." Little ploy?

I sat still, shocked to my core. He knows?! Haruhi, you traitor! A single tear fell on my cheek as I attempted to stand and calm my breathing. "Hih…hih."

"You're not going anywhere until you answer my question, Judy, dear."

"Let me go. Now…huhhhuhh...Mr. Ohtori." His arms tightened and locked around my waist. I need my inhaler.

"Not until I get some answers."

"You want answers?!…hahhiiih...I want some, too. Why are you so mercurial?" Cough! "You play it cool, but you aren't. You're friendly some days, cold others, and down right hateful all the other times." I shut my mouth and breathed as deeply as possible through my nose. "I thought we'd finally gotten…hihh…hihh...to an amicable place. I thought we were making progre-" I've said too much. I've spent too much time with him. I threw my hands over my mouth, attempting to regulate the attack.

His grip loosened, and I popped off his lap so fast that the table shook. I didn't care how ungraceful I looked. Kyoya followed my lead and stood as well. Head muddled from adrenaline and lack of oxygen, I backed up to my side of the table. Instinct had taken over and told me to find the nearest weapon. My fingers grazed the knife. "Hhihh…hiiiiiiiiih."

I didn't even know what I was doing. I just kept my eyes on the monster, the new demon in my life. As he inched closer, my hand began to slowly grasp the knife hilt.

"What have I done?" Kyoya stopped in his tracks and stared at my hand clutching the table knife. "I'm so sorry, Judy. I shouldn't have done this to you." He began searching for my inhaler. So sorry. So sorry. Oh, I bet he is. Sorry that his plans didn't go through. Sorry that I see him for what he is.

Knife in hand, I walked to the front door and held it open. "When you see Hahhhruhhhiihh next, let her know hhhuhhh I'm going home."

Kyoya's eyes snapped to mine. He ran across the room and pulled me into a hug, uncaring of the weapon in my hand. "Do you think she betrayed your trust? Haruhi would never do such a thing. I did this on my own." Chest heaving, I struggled against his hold, but didn't really attempt to get away. "I researched you thoroughly, called the embassy, pulled all your files."

"All for the sake of having something on me to keep me in check." The bitterness crashed through my words like a tsunami plows over a beach.

"No. I mean, I sometimes do research to that end, but I already had what I needed to keep you with me. The deal we made was enough."

"You…hh...really are twisted, Kyoya." This time I did push away from him.

"You told me that you had once dated an angry man to your detriment." He handed me the inhaler, and I quickly sucked its life giving vapor. "Your face at that moment told me there was more to the story that I needed to know." Kyoya watched me carefully.

"That is extremely personal information. No one needs to know any of it. Especially you," I whispered and walked off to my easy chair. Kyoya took that as his cue. He shut the door and followed me to the living room. "Does it ever occur to you that people have things they don't want you to know? Things that won't hurt you to be ignorant of?"

"Judy, it was something I needed to know."

"Why? I've been just fine without anyone knowing." I could feel a massive headache beginning.

"How can I protect you if I don't know the whole story? How can I understand you if you don't let me in?" He sounds almost afraid. Ha! Not likely, though.

"Protect me? Do you call making me relive my greatest nightmare protection?" I raged against him. "Do you call that understanding?" I was living fury.

He answered my euroclydon of anger with a small, "Don't leave."

"What? Oh, don't worry. I'll stay until our little deal is complete. But, when it's over, I'm going home."

"I know why you stay, Judy," he said with quiet conviction as he placed his hand on one of mine.

"Then tell me, oh, knowledgeable one." I knew I was being overly viscous. I didn't care.

"You don't want to leave. Something is holding you here." My heart fell into my stomach when he said that. Does he know about that, too?

K~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She's leaving! "Don't leave," I pled with her. I've really lost my dignity to her.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll stay until our little deal is complete. But, when it's over, I'm going home." I could feel the fabric of my heart growing thin.

Leaning over her chair, I placed my hand on hers. "I know why you stay, Judy."

"Then tell me, oh, knowledgeable one." Her tone stung. It's my own fault she's this way. I terrorized her a few minutes ago, trying to force a confession from her.

"You don't want to leave." I gazed at her steadily, still unsure of what I was doing. Her eyes were angry, stubborn. "Something is holding you here."

She and I continued to stare at each other, she staring up at me over the back of the chair and I staring down. Both trying to win dominance.

How does one describe a life changing moment? The sudden flick of a switch that sheds light on a hidden truth? A door flung open to an undiscovered treasure room? A burden lifted and tossed aside? All seem to fall short.

When I looked at her defiant, hurt eyes, flickering with passion and rage, I couldn't remain distant. Before she could run, before she could say no, I leaned over the chair and stole a kiss, light and fleeting so as not to frighten her. It may not have been the best way to reiterate my sorrow for what I'd done, but it was the only way I could think of in that instant.

When I pulled back, I looked directly into her eyes again so she couldn't miss my intent. "I will win you back."

I am determined. Now that I know what I want, I will have it.