Belle set the puppy down once she got in the house and closed the door, running to the sitting room as fast as possible. She took the nearest pillow and screamed into it as loud as she could- then felt the sobs starting anew and shaking her body once again. Rumpelstiltskin was back in Storybrooke. How had this happened? She wasn't upset-but she was. He was in town, so he was safe and she wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. At the same time, though, he was in town and he was here for her-whatever that meant. She wanted to take him in and let him know how she loved and missed him, but she couldn't. If she did that he'd think it was perfectly fine for him to do all kinds of dirty deeds behind her back again in the future. She couldn't let him think that. So, no matter how much it hurt her, she would have to avoid all contact with Rumpelstiltskin so long as he was around town. She'd have to be strong and once again put the happiness of the town ahead of her own.
"Chip, want me to read you a bedtime story?" Belle asked the puppy-who was curled up on the welcome mat by the door- before heading up to her room. "Of course you do, come on." She scooped the puppy up and carried him up to the bedroom, where they cuddled up and the puppy was sleeping within ten minutes of Belle reading. For such a small creature, Chip snored awfully loud. So loud- in fact- that Belle had to stop reading because she simply couldn't concentrate. She closed her eyes and enjoyed hearing Chip's loud breathing beside her, yet tonight-more than she had before- Belle wished for Rumple's company. She wished that she could turn over and wrap her arms around him or feel his arms protectively tight around her in the middle of the night, she wanted to lay her head on his chest and hear his steady heart beat or feel the warmth of his lips as they planted sweet butterfly kisses atop her head and shoulders. It made her heart sink to know that-had she been willing- she could've had all that right that very moment, but she couldn't give in. She couldn't be weak and afraid. She had to be strong and brave and stand her ground, even if she did want to give in more than anything in the world.
Rumple-once again- haunted Belle's dreams that night. They weren't necessarily dreams, but more like flashbacks. She saw their kiss in the Dark Castle and all the sweet moments they'd shared back in the Enchanted Forest, she'd seen him stepping off the boat after returning from Neverland- gosh he looked so darn handsome in that leather suit- and then saw their wedding and their wedding night. The last dream-or rather nightmare- she had was of her banishing Rumple. She woke up abruptly, and wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. "I'm sorry, Rumple." Belle whimpered and pulled the blanket over her head. For a moment, she considered dressing herself and running back to the forest. Rumple would still be there- she knew it- and he'd take her back. It seemed like a good enough idea to her, it would certainly make her feel better. She couldn't, though, she had to stay strong.
Belle's night had been restless with her waking up every few hours in a puddle of her own tears and an ache in her heart. She needed to talk to Archie again- nobody else would understand. The clock read seven AM. It was too early to go visiting. Somehow, she forced herself to get out of bed and go down to the kitchen. Eating was necessary, she'd do that and dress herself before heading over to Archie's- it would take her long enough. The eggs she'd made herself filled her stomach, though they were burnt and bland. The last thing Belle felt like doing this morning after having not slept more than a few hours combined last night was get dressed nicely, so she threw on a pair of sweatpants. As she sifted through the drawers in her bedroom to find an old T-shirt, she came across one of Rumple's. She picked it up and clung to it for a moment-when she lifted it to her nose she could almost smell his scent on it still. Forcing herself out of her trancelike state, she shoved the shirt back in the drawer and withdrew her own. Once she dressed herself, she threw her hair up into a messy kind of bun on her head and sat on a stool in front of the vanity in her bedroom. She looked rough with the dark circles under her eyes and puffy swollen lids; the redness in her eyes was very noticeable. She looked a wreck, and hoped that not many people would be roaming the streets so early in the morning. The last thing Belle wanted was to have someone spot her and then ask why she looked so awful, she wasn't sure she'd be able to play it cool very much longer.
Her wishes came true, no one stopped her on the streets, granted no one had really been out. When she reached Archie's doorstep, she knocked fiercely on the door. Archie opened the door in a rush, a swarm of puppies art his feet, "Belle, good morning!" He greeted, "This is the second visit you've made so early in two days. Is everything okay?" His face shown the worry he felt, he didn't really need to say anything else, "Is everything with Chip okay?" he glanced to the puppy that was still sleeping in her arm. "Come in, sit down." He stepped aside to invite her in, pushing some puppies out of the way with his feet.
"Thank you." She hurried in so that he could close the door quicker-the faster he closed it the lesser the chance of any puppies escaping. She flung herself on the couch again, "Go visit your brothers and sisters, Chip." She instructed, letting the puppy go on the floor, and laughed when Chip was tackled by some of his siblings.
"What's wrong, Belle?" Archie asked, sitting in his chair again. "Don't try to say 'nothing', I see your red face and puffy eyes- you've been crying." He got comfortable and stared into Belle's eyes,
"He's back." She squeaked, fresh tears beginning to fall. It took Archie a moment to register what she'd meant,
"What? Who's back?" He paused, "Not… Him?" He was careful not to offend Belle by his tone, but wasn't prepared to handle this so early in the morning. Belle nodded, biting her lip,
"Yes, Rumple is back in Storybrooke." Her hands gripped around her stomach, "He's back. I… I ran into him yesterday after I left here."
"Yes…" Archie prodded, waiting for her to go on.
"Something happened, he changed forms… He's dark again-and he looks just as he had back in our land. That doesn't matter; the thing that made me uneasy is he said he was here for me. He tried apologizing and all." Archie had to listen to her very carefully to understand what she was saying between her accent and her sobs.
"I don't mean to say 'I told you so'," Archie smiled, and Belle cut him off before he could continue the remainder of whatever he was going to say,
"I told him to get lost." She forced the sentence out, the bitterness of it was still fresh on her tongue. "I shouldn't have, but I did."
"Belle, do you want to see him again?" He had to use a different approach than what he had been trying to use.
"I'm mad at him, and I can't stand to look at him and know all that he did, but of course I want to see him. I miss him, I love him." The directness of Belle's answers surprise herself, but Archie didn't seem surprised. He simply lifted his cup of tea and sipped it,
"Well, Belle, it's up to you now. I wish I could do something to help, but this whole situation is entirely up to you. You either have to forgive him or not. If you get back together, it's all up to you."
"I know." She sighed, hanging her head in her hands. "I just wish it were simpler than it is. If I take him back, I risk the town being safe, but I'm happy. If I don't, then the town is safe, but I'm miserable. It's not a nice spot to be in."
"Do you mind me saying something here, Belle?"
"Of course not, anything will be appreciated."
"You keep using the word 'safe', how do you know if you take Rumple back the town won't be safe? I mean, regardless of if you're together- so long as he's in town- the town could still be in danger if he got the inclination. Belle was silent a minute, she hadn't that of that.
"I suppose, but I just… If I took him back, I'd be telling him I'm okay with all the things he's done. It's not alright if he does those dirty deeds, and I need him to know I'm serious "Archie leaned back, silent for a minute,
"Well, you're in quite the dilemma." He watched her bob her head slowly, "You had to know you'd feel this way, though."
"I knew I'd miss him." She stated, "I hadn't planned on him ever coming back, though. The thing is now that he's back, we could make up. I want to, but I won't."
"Would you like me to go find him and arrange a time for both of you to come see me? Maybe if you two talked with someone who is interested in the best for both of you-me- it would make things easier to work out."
"Perhaps, but I never want to see him again. Archie, if I were to see him again I'd… Well I'd be weak and I would forgive him on the spot. I can't stay mad with him forever, I've tried. I know he did awful things and they hurt me, but as soon as I saw him yesterday I… All that anger went away and I was just so happy he was safe and the only thing I wanted to do was jump on him and kiss him and tell him how I missed him and love him. Do you see what I mean?" She folded her hands in her lap, she knew she sounded like a blubbering fool but it didn't matter. All Belle wanted was to be back to her normal self.
"I sound like a broken record, Belle. Nobody but you can decide your fate. If you don't want to be with him, you wont be., if you do, then you will be. It's that simple."
"I guess I ought to just get used to the idea of being an old maid in that huge house. My family will be my books and my animals." She forced a smile, but it only lasted a moment before it faltered. Belle wiped her eyes with a tissue and found Chip at her feet. "Thank you for dealing with me, Archie. I know it can't be easy to sit there and watch a woman sob over something that is her own doing."
"It's not a problem. Don't worry about it, Belle, you're my friend and I'm here for you when you need to talk. You're going through a lot right now and you're essentially going through it alone. I think- I know- that in the end your heart will lead you to where you're supposed to be." His lips formed a mysterious smile, one that almost made Belle a bit uncomfortable.'
"Thank you," She said again, picking up the puppy.
"He's going to be too heavy to carry pretty soon." Archie observed, "How about a leash?" He picked up a leash off the floor and threw it to Belle. She hooked it on Chips blue collar and thanked Archie again before leaving his house. Once she was on the streets a new battle formed in her mind. I shouldn't go to him, I should stay home. I need to be strong, met with I need to talk to Rumple, I need to see him. We need to do something about this predicament.