Chapter 6

He slammed the door to the cabin way harsher than was necessary. It had been some time since he'd last been here- the last time had been when he had taken Moe French back here to get the whereabouts of the teacup. He snorted, remembering to how he'd furiously beat Moe with his cane. He had taken out years of anger, frustration, and heartbreak on Moe in one day. At the time it had felt so good, he lightly shook his head at the memory. What was it he had so passionately screamed at Moe that day? Rumple racked his mind until the words came back, "You shut her out, you had her love and you shut her out!" He nodded, speaking the words dejectedly to himself so hushed even he could hardly hear them.

The cabin wasn't much, it never had been, but over the last few years it had deteriorated at an astonishing rate. Half the boards were moldy or eaten by weathering and age. All that was in the little shack of a house was a hard full bed, a stove and refrigerator, and a small bathroom with a simplistic toilet and wash basin as a bathtub. It was all one medium sized room and the bathroom was simply a curtain that hung the length of the ceiling to the floor in a little 5x5 section of the cabin. No sources of entertainment, no bookshelves, no wardrobes, no nothing. This cabin was the necessities and that was it. It wasn't home; it was merely a house-a hiding place.

Rumple laid down on the bed, there wasn't anything to do. It seemed that had been his entire life since Belle had kicked him out of town. Waking up, surviving, and going back to sleep. There was no happiness, no light, no love, and no reason to really try to live. The little sliver that had kept him hanging on all those weeks in New York was that when he and Robin had returned with Ursala, Maleficent, and Cruella, was the hope that Belle might be willing to forgive him and take him back. That's all he wanted. He realized, now, that was all he'd ever wanted. The craziest thing of all, he'd gone and thrown it all away-again. Desperately trying to force himself not to let the tears begin to fall, Rumple glanced down at his hands. Hideous. He inwardly griped, staring at the blackish green nails and textured gold-green scales. It had been a small sacrifice to get back into Storybrooke, and he'd been more than willing to take it. Now, though, it all seemed to have been done in vain. The only reason he'd wanted back into this horrid little town was to win Belle back, he'd been ready to do absolutely anything she wished, but now it seemed she wanted nothing to do with him. He sighed. I guess it was my own doing. He inwardly sulked. I was so confident in everything I was doing and so… Arrogant to think I had it all under control. I thought I could free myself of that cursed knife and keep Belle. Rumple had to close his eyes, weary. He could've. He knew that, and that was what stung the most. Had he just let Belle known what he was up to, had he not tried so dreadfully to keep her in the dark to all the deeds he had done, had he simply just told he what he'd wanted to do, then everything would be alright now. Belle would've listened and told him it was okay and they'd find a way that didn't involve manipulating and tricking everyone in town into bad-sometimes worse than that- situations. Yes, had he told her, things would've been very different now. Rumple sat up on the bed and let his feet dangle off the side as he stared aimlessly at the wood beneath his feet and his nails that were resting on his lap. He'd done it now, he knew it. No matter what he did, there was no way Belle would forgive him now. He'd messed up his chance at a happy life with his true love. and there was no one he could blame but himself.

He walked over to the refrigerator to retrieve some water, more as an excuse to move and have something to do than because he was actually thirsty. Still, she had to care about him right? The thoughts wouldn't leave his mind. The dog-wherever that thing had come from- liked him, couldn't Belle still? Of course, she had named the little animal Chip. His hand flourished in the air at that thought. Maybe she could fool townspeople as to the meaning of the puppy's name, but not him. No Rumpelstiltskin was her husband, he knew her better than anyone, and her naming that animal after such a huge symbol of their relationship was not a coincidence. There was meaning there. Rumple gulped down a sip of water. Maybe he did still have a chance. Still, if she'd had any intention of giving him another chance, she would've done it by now. All he was doing was feeding his own wishful thinking, he knew that. He had messed up the only good in his life for stupid and selfish reasons, and the pain of the repercussions was something he'd be subjected to live with for eternity.

A loud knock on the door made Rumple jump in place. His heartbeat fastened for a moment. Could it be? Would Belle really come back to him? Find him in his abandoned cabin? No, he forced himself to calm down; Belle wouldn't have such a loud and demanding knock. Without any acknowledgment, the door swung open and the three dark women strode in, Ursala slamming the door behind him. "We're ready," she announced, crossing her arms and eyeing Rumple-he was suddenly very nervous.

"What's the matter? Are you afraid, little troll?" Cruella moved closer to Rumple, casually patting him on the head.

"Haven't cut the gin from your diet, I see." He moved, straightening and trying to regain the act he had for these women- strong and here for vengeance. "Yes, Maleficent did you the potion I asked you for?"

"Here it is," She produced a shimmery orange liquid in a rounded glass jar.

"Perfect," He plucked it from her fingers and circled the women. "Let us begin, shall we?" He settled on the floor, producing a large bowl and several other potions in front of him. Each potion, Rumple was careful to mix with the others slowly and kept a careful watch on the elixir he was creating.

"What exactly is this thing going to do?" Ursala snapped,

"It's going to show us exactly where The Author is. We'll be able to find him before the heroes do, and ask for our happy endings." He explained, keeping his eyes on the potions.

"What makes you think The Author is going to give us happy endings?" Cruella asked, taking a drag off her cigar,

"I do wish you'd take that thing out side of my cabin, Cruella, it's bad enough the smell of gin is going to linger around here days after you leave. Is the cigar necessary?" That was Belle protruding through, he knew it. He wasn't fond of the cigar, but he wouldn't- before he had been a married man- have made any remarks like that. He was quick to continue to the relevant topic, "He's going to give them to us because it's time the villains got their happy endings." He stated very matter-of-factly.

"Your little maid?" Ursala taunted more than actually questioned

"My w- Yes my maid, she lives here, yes." It seemed he always had to think on his feet with these women. They were smart, but he was still smarter than all three of them combined. The weakness in his façade seemed to be when they brought up Belle. His little maid. Every time they said that, he almost nearly corrected them to 'wife'. "Yes," He repeated, "my former maid does live here; I haven't seen her in some time, though. I suppose she's found her own happiness, I don't know. After the curse hit here, I didn't feel there was any need to keep her around, really."

Maleficent and Cruella nodded, Ursala did too but wasn't quite as convinced. Rumple kept staring at the bowl, it broke his heart to have to speak in such a callous way about Belle. He had to, though, if he spoke of her with love or affection, they would all know why he was really here. He couldn't let that happen, because then they'd figure out his real plan. Any chance he had of fixing things with Belle-if he had any at all- would be destroyed if any of these women found out.

About a half hour later, the concoction was complete. "Ladies," He gestured to the bottle of sparkling brown liquid in his hand, "Here it is. First thing tomorrow, we'll go find this author."

"Why wait?" Ursala inquired, hands on her hips, "Why not today?"

"Because…" Rumple had to force himself to breath and hurry to come up with an acceptable answer. Why did he want to wait anyway? He honestly didn't know. "Well, I suppose there would be nothing wrong with starting this quest tonight."

"Alright, then tonight we start. Ursala stated, but something in her tone said she knew something was off. "We'll be back just before sundown." With that, the trio of women left Rumple alone in his cabin with the elixir. How had he managed that one, he didn't know. What time was it now? He looked at the clock, a little after two in the afternoon. There were still a few hours until sundown.

Rumple paced in circles around the cabin, there was nothing to do and he was very lonely. In a way, it reminded him of how he'd used to spend his time in the Dark Castle. Of course, in that time, people had constantly been summoning him to give or do something for them. The loneliness hadn't bothered him so much as it did now, granted he hadn't really known he was lonely in the castle. His mission had been to find Bae, nothing more. His mind had been set on that one goal; he was occupied in those days. Now, he had nothing left. Bae was gone, Belle was gone, and magic was there. It was always there, no matter how much he had grown to detest it. The feeling of it was nice-to feel the power surge through his body and know that with it he didn't have to worry about anything- but he should've headed his own advice. Magic always comes with a price. The phrase he had said to others so many times echoed in his mind, haunting him. Yes, it always came with a price, and his price had been paid with the loss of both Bae and Belle. There had to be a way to fix things, a loophole, there always was. No, this was far too serious. Baelfire was dead, there was no changing that, and Belle had no reason to forgive him nor did she seem the least bit interested in trying to mend things. She didn't even seem interested in talking to him. He had to try, just once more. With a flourish of his hand, a cloud of purple smoke engulfed him.

When the smoke cleared, he was on the front step of the pink house. He knocked on harshly, pulling the hood of the cloak over his head-he couldn't risk being seen. "Just a minute!" He heard Belle call, Rumple could almost picture her scrambling up from the couch, book in hand, and stumbling to the door while her eyes adjusted to not having a page in front of her. Rumple bit his lip, shoving his hands beneath the cloak. His heart shouldn't be racing like it was, he shouldn't have the sweat beginning to form on his forehead, and the fear and anxiousness rising within him and spreading through his all body was taking over. He still had time; he could simply snap his fingers and be back in his cabin. It wasn't like Belle would actually forgive him, she'd probably be offended he was even on their- her- doorstep. "Hi, I'm so sorry I was in the back room," She was speaking before she even opened the door, "Rumpelstiltskin!" She shirked, yet was still careful to keep her voice down. The friendliness she had offered before seeing the identity of her visitor had was gone now- replaced by annoyance and haste. "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone? I'm not joking, you keep this up, you're going to have a lot of problems-and not only with me." A squeaky bark came from behind Belle, and soon Chip had managed to squeeze behind Belle's legs and the door. The puppy jumped on Rumple's legs, panting and jumping with excitement. Chip finally tired of being ignored, and just plopped on Rumple's feet and curled up on them. "What did you do to this dog?" She demanded again, scooping Chip up in her arms.

"I've told you Belle, nothing! Please, let me talk."

"Like I believe that, dogs know who people truly are." Hearing Belle speak so sourly of him hurt, but Rumple knew he deserved it. This wasn't the time to get hurt over petty things. Chip was squirming in Belle's arms, tongue hanging out, and his eyes intent on Rumple.

"They do." His words fell simply. Belle wasn't sure how to take the simplicity in which he spoke, she had no idea how to read him.

"I don't know what you're here for, but I want you to leave." Politeness wasn't a concern now.

"Belle," He took a step closer to her, "Please, you wanted you time to talk at the line and I gave it to you. Now I want my turn, I'm not going to hurt you. You know that." For a moment, sympathy found its way to her eyes, but it was gone just as soon as it had come. Without warning, Rumple felt a jerk on his arm, and the next thing he knew he was standing on the inside of the house. Belle shut the door behind him.

"Regina," She said, pointing outside, "She was walking by, I don't want anyone to see you." Rumple looked down, realizing her hand was still gripped around his forearm. He enjoyed the moment, savoring the touch of her hand, knowing well it might be the last time he'd feel her touch. Noticing his gaze, Belle removed her hand and cleared her throat. "This town isn't very fond of you right now, they could hurt you."

"Well I don't think they've ever been real fond of me, my dear." He stood stiff, awkward and not knowing exactly how to act or what to do.

"Have a seat," Belle said, motioning for him to follow her into the sitting room, "I haven't cleaned it in a few days, but it's just Chip and I, we don't care about a little mess in here."

"You never were one for cleaning." Rumple smirked, his voice light and joking,

"Shut up," Belle allowed herself to laugh, catching herself abruptly as she seated herself on the couch. It felt weird, but comfortable, sitting on the couch facing Rumple. There was at least a three foot space between them, but Chip was eager to jump out of Belle's arms and into Rumple's lap. Rumple caught him, and rubbed his head absently. "Talk." Belle demanded, her eyes watching the dog and Rumple's hands. "I'm giving you your turn." She crossed her arms and leaned back, "you don't need to keep the hood on," She chuckled, pulling it down. "That's better, now go on, tell me what you need to say. You'll need to leave soon."

"Belle," He tapped his nails on Chip's back, and was careful to keep his head hung and eyes on the floor, "I just… I just wanted to say I'm sorry- for everything." He nodded to himself, "You deserve better, you always have. Somehow, you fell for me-a monster- despite my many flaws, and I completely disregarded your feelings. I should've straightened out and done everything I could to keep you happy and, what did I do, I lied and manipulated and deceived you. I took you and your love for granted, and that is something I am very sorry for. You didn't deserve that, and I wish I hadn't done it. I wish I would've been a better man for you, and I really wished I hadn't hurt you, you didn't deserve the pain, and you deserve someone much better than me. You always have." He was rambling, he knew, but he couldn't stop, "I'm sorry, Belle, I really am. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know I'm sorry and that I love… And that I always will." He rose slowly,

"Sit down," Belle said, fighting back her own tears, "You're crying." He settled himself back down on the couch, and Chip licked his hand. "Here," She handed him a handkerchief, "take it." She watched him dab at his eyes, doing her best to ignore the stabbing in her own heart. When it seemed he'd composed himself some, she spoke, "I… It means a lot that you apologized, it does, and I forgive you for what you were doing to the town and Killian." He tilted his head at her, bewilderment evident. "However, I don't forgive you for what you did to me Rumpelstiltskin, I am your wife! You could've trusted me, I trusted you! I would've done what I could to help you, I would've done anything! You were my everything, and you betrayed my trust! Do you know how hard it is to come to terms with that? Do you know how hurt I was-how hurt I still am?"

"I can only imagine." Rumple sighed.

"Thank you for apologizing." She said again, exhaling loudly, "Listen, I believe you. I believe that you're sorry and that you love me, I do. It still hurts, though. If this is you trying to win me-"

"I don't expect you'll ever want me again." Rumple was quick to state, "I just had to tell you I'm sorry and let you know that you'll always be loved." He got up from the couch again.

"Wait," He froze at the sound of her voice.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry too." She sighed "I shouldn't have sent you over the line, I've regretted that since I did it. Try to understand, in that moment, I didn't feel like I had another choice and I was so mad and-"

"Its okay, Belle, I don't blame you one bit. You were forgiven long ago." He put his hand up in a 'stop' motion. He didn't have time to comprehend it when her arms found their way around his waist in a quick hug. Just as soon as it had happened, though, it was finished.

"You… You need to go now. I accept your apologies, and I'm glad we had this chance to clear things up between us." She swallowed hard, "I still don't want you around me, though, I don't trust you. I can't have you around me." Rumple nodded sadly, feeling the melancholy taking over all his emotions, had he really expected anything else.

"Alright." He nodded, biting his lip, "Bye Belle, I love you." He waved his hand and, with a cloud of pinkish purple smoke, he was gone.