Again, I can't thank you all enough for your kind and welcome reviews!
**Slight edit to the end of Chapter 5…I took the last line out "I can't love you" because I wanted this next chapter to go a different way than I originally imagined. I hope the final product for Chapter 6 meets your expectations!**
Deep breaths…out…in…out…in…
Isobel could sense Lord Merton move closer and tensed when he placed his hands on her shoulders.
Out…in...out...in…
She tried to resist but his grip turned her to face him.
Out….in….out….
His hand lifted her chin, and he leaned down until he was eye-level with her.
In…out…in….
"Please trust me…" he spoke quietly.
Out…..out…..in…..out…..out…
She shook her head back and forth slowly, trying to focus on her breathing…but it was all for not. Under his compassionate gaze, she could no longer remember why marrying him was wrong.
"Isobel, you're shaking. Do have a rest…" he said, keeping his hands on her arms to steady her.
She again shook her head, not trusting her legs to keep her upright if she dared move. Dickie was getting worried, seeing that her face had gone pale and her breathing was out of sync.
Reginald….Matthew….Gone….Dead….Gone….
Out…in…..out…..out…..in…in…..
Dickie did not dare allow her to go on like this much longer. He strengthened his grip on her and gently pulled her towards the table, settling her in to a chair.
He waited, not knowing the right thing to do. She was visibly overwhelmed…but fighting something he could neither see nor understand. And until she trusted him with her fears, he sat silent beside her….hoping this was not the beginning of the end.
You are letting fear drive your decisions, Isobel…
After a few tense moments, her eyes stalled and widened. Her fingers were digging in to her palms so tightly that he feared she would draw blood. Ever the gentleman, he reached in to his pocket and pulled out a fresh handkerchief. He pressed the cloth in to her hand, relieved to see her fingers wrap around it.
The light had since faded outside, the room now lit only by the small fire and two lamps on the mantle. He didn't know how long they had sat silent…it felt like hours…before she finally called to him.
"Dickie…"
"Isobel…are you quite all right?" he asked, sitting forward and trying to read her emotionless face.
"There is another reason…another reason I must not marry you."
And now, all of the hope he'd levied over the past days and hours was suddenly whisked away in mere seconds.
"And that is…?" he asked, his voice cracking with emotion.
"I've lost the two people in my life I held most dear…I fear I will not make it through should it happen again," she spoke, each word growing softer until her voice was but a whisper.
Realization finally dawned. His heart broke as a single tear fell down her cheek. The memory of her husband and son, now dead and gone, must be devastating. He didn't blame her for protecting her heart. While he had never known such love in his past, he could understand the pain of losing someone so dear. It was what he felt when she'd turned him down before Christmas.
"Do forgive me for being so insensitive, Isobel," he responded quietly, ashamed he had not understood her reservations earlier.
"Please…don't apologize…I am the one who has and must remain distant," she answered, her hand tentatively reaching over to cover his.
He saw her tears were gone, leaving only a look of tired resignation to grace her features. How he wished he could take her pain away.
His hand turned so that their palms met and his fingers cautiously weaved with hers. "But you need not distance yourself."
Her breath hitched as he forged on.
"Isobel, we mustn't let fear drive our decisions," he said calmly. "Fear of making my children angry when they were young ended up pushing them further away in the end. And now, you mustn't let that same kind of fear prevent your happiness any longer."
Her hand clutched his handkerchief, gripping it as tightly as she could. She knew he was right, but could she open her heart and be that vulnerable again?hat vulnerable she open her heart to him... she had
"Isobel, if you truly feel nothing for me, I will wish you only happiness for the rest of your days. But if you feel anything…anything at all…I beg of you to reconsider."
He did not press on further, only rubbed his thumb over her fingers gently. He would give her all the time she needed…and would hold true to the promise he'd just made.
You must not let fear drive your decisions, Isobel…
Father would only want the best for you Mother…
Isobel, live your life….I want you to be happy.
After a brief moment, her lips turned upwards in a small smile. He was a bit confused by the change in her features for she suddenly seemed at peace. As he straightened in his chair, she squeezed his hand and let out a small sigh.
"It seems your eloquence has won me over once more, Lord Merton."