Parenthood
Chapter 17
"What are you doing in my living room?"
Bickslow blinked, staring at the Lisanna, as she'd just walked into the room from the hall.
"I'm babysitting," he said, nodding over to where Nathan was busy playing with his blocks as the man's dolls flew around his head, singing and laughing. Lisanna only frowned.
"And Mirajane or Laxus didn't think that it would be a good idea to mention to me that you'd be here?"
"I think they didn't want you to feel like they always asked you to baby-sit or something," he said with a shrug. "So they asked me. Don't know what the big deal is."
"The big deal is that no one-"
"Well, don't yell at us about it," he said. "Me and the babies didn't do anything."
"Didn't do anything," his dolls agreed, though they only continued to fly around Nathan. "Lisanna."
She only gave him a look. "Well, I'm not in the mood for guests, so-"
"I thought you were always nice?" he asked from his spot on the couch. "I mean, you've only ever been nice to me. Why are you being so-"
"What difference does it make?"
"Okay." Bickslow only went back to staring at the kid. "Never mind."
He listened then as Lisanna walked through the living room and into the kitchen. The second she was gone, he only checked the nearest clock for the time. Mirajane and Laxus were supposed to be back soon, which he was glad for. If she was in a bad mood, the last thing that he wanted was to be stuck with her. He knew Lisanna on a very basic level, one lower than he knew Mira even, and something told him that there was something a matter with her. Not wanting to get stuck in a fight with the boss's girlfriend's sister, he figured the sooner he got out of there, the better.
When the front door opened, he was hoping to find Mira or Laxus, but instead, it was Elfman and Ever.
Bleh.
"What are you doing here?" his teammate asked with a frown. The hand that had been interlaced with one of Elfman's she immediately shook, as if to get him away from her. Yeah, like he hadn't noticed that. "Bickslow?"
"I got stuck watching the kid," he said. "Freed's out on a solo mission and you weren't around. Apparently though, you were screwing Elfman, is what you were doing, which totally isn't a viable excuse, just so you know."
"That is not-"
"Don't you talk to my woman that way!" Elfman scowled at Bickslow as Ever only hit his arm.
"I'm not your woman! I thought we went over this!"
"Elf," Nathan giggled as they walked passed him. "E'er."
"Ear," Bickslow's dolls repeated. "Ear!"
"He said Ever," the woman in question told them with a frown. "And cut it out. It's bad enough when you mock Bickslow."
"They don't mock me, Evergreen," he told her with a frown. "They love me so much that they hang on my every word. Not that you would know what that was- Oh, yeah. You got Elfman!"
"Shut up!"
"You're not allowed to be rude to me in my own house!"
"What are you guys yelling about?" Lisanna came back in from the kitchen then, a cup of coffee in her hand as she held the other to her head, as if she had a headache. "Be quiet. Why do you all need to be here anyway?"
"I'm trying to come home and unwind after being yelled at all night," Elfman complained as he stepped as carefully as a man his size could over all of Nate's toys, spread across the living room floor.
"Yelled at, huh?" Bickslow's tongue fell from his mouth. "What was she yelling? Your name? Or someone else's?"
"I am going to kill you," Ever hissed as she headed over to the couch, her arms wrapped around herself. "Seriously, Bickslow, get out of here."
"Nah-ah," he said, shaking his head. "Not until the boss man gets here and sees that I did an a-okay job at watching little boss man."
"You're so stupid," Lisanna said, frowning at him. "Just leave. Like Laxus is so important or something."
"Bad mood, sis?" Elfman patted her on the head as he left the room, no doubt headed to his own. "You and Ever can talk about it. And bond! Like men! Err, women. But-"
"No thanks," Lisanna said, turning to slip by him and further down the hall.
"Yeah, not happening," Ever said as she only made it over to the couch and began hitting Bickslow in the head. He only took it though, grinning.
"Can't hurt me! I got a helmet of- Hey, no fair," he cried as she only pulled his helmet from his head. Jumping up, he tried to run away from her. "Ever-"
"Are you going to do something?" Lisanna asked Elfman as she headed into her room. "About them?"
"I'm going to kill him if he lays a hand on Ever," he said, going into his own room. "But until then? No. I'm really tired."
Ugh.
By the time Mirajane and Laxus arrived though about an hour later, Ever had run off Bickslow and his dolls before retiring to her (not) boyfriend's room, dropping Nathan off with Lisanna on the way.
"How'd you end up with him?" Mirajane asked her sister when she entered her room to find the little boy napping on her bed. Lisanna was over at her desk though, looking over a spell book. "Lisanna?"
"Ever scared Bickslow, he ran and left, then she and Elfman went to…do whatever in his room."
"Ever's here?"
"Mmmhmm."
"Mira," they heard then. "I'm taking off, alright? Your dog is giving me really weird stares. And if he bites me, I totally take that as an initiative to shoot a bold of lightening through him-"
"Go," she called back to him with a groan. "Will you be back for dinner?"
Belch. Then, "No."
"What are you doing tonight?"
"What business is it of-"
"What, Laxus?"
"Training. A lot of training."
"Okay, well, see you tomorrow, I guess."
"For breakfast," they heard then, the sound of the door slamming right after.
"Peachy."
"Lisanna." Mira went to pat her in the back of the head. "What's up with you the past few days, huh?"
"I don't know."
"Are you sad that Natsu and Lucy went off on a job, huh? And haven't been back all week?"
"What do I care?"
"And that Levy's spending all her time with Gajeel and you're just so lonely."
"Shut up, Mira."
"I know! I'll get you a boyfriend," she said as she went to pick Nathan up.
"No thanks."
"No, I will. Who do you l- Oh yeah."
"Mirajane-"
"Well, I don't think I can break up Natsu and Lucy without feeling horrible about it," she said slowly.
"I never asked you to!"
"But I totally can get you someone just like him." She bounced Nathan slightly as the child awoke. "Swear."
"Don't want a boyfriend."
"Yeah, but…I want you to have one. So…you're going to have one."
"Mira, get out."
"Alright, alright." She winked at her. "I need a day or two to get it all ready, but by the time I'm through, you're going to have a super hot, funny, amazing, nice, caring boyfriend. I mean, I know a lot of guys. And a lot of male models! You're in good hands, Lisanna. I just wish that you had asked sooner."
"I didn't ask anything."
But it was too late, as Mira was already out of the room and, honestly, Lisanna was just done with the whole thing. She only got up to lock her bedroom door. Anything to keep all of them out…
"I made a horrible mistake."
"What?"
Laxus only shook his head as he and Mirajane walked into the bar a few afternoons later. "I accidentally made that happen again."
He was nodding over to Evergreen and Elfman, who were seated at adjoining tables, making a very pointed effort of not looking at one another. Mira only elbowed him as Nathan, who was walking between them, started calling out hi to all of the people he knew.
"Be quiet, Laxus," she said before reaching down to pick up his son. "Just don't cause any problems today, okay? I have something in the works."
"Why does that not make me feel good at all?"
"It doesn't have to do with you at all," she said.
"Good."
"Just behave, alright? I invited some...friends to stop by at certain points today."
"Friends, huh?"
She only nodded as he headed off to go sit at the same table as Freed and Bickslow. "And they're sort of male so-"
That stopped him. Then, glancing over his shoulder, he said, "What?"
"Laxus-"
"Mirajane-"
"They're not for me," she hissed at him as she followed him, just to keep their conversation down. "They're for Lisanna."
"So you haven't-"
"Ew, gross, no. I wouldn't want my sister to be with a man that I've been with, would I?"
Still, he thought about it for a moment before shaking his head.
"Whatever, demon. You better not be lying to me."
"Just watch Nathan today, huh?" She handed the child off to him, much to the little boy's disappointment. He liked Laxus, he thought that he was funny sometimes, but he really would rather be as close to Mirajane as possible at all times.
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, finally able to take his seat.
"What's up with your girl, boss?" Bickslow asked as Freed, who was going over some sort of map for a job that the Thunder God Tribe would be going on in the near future, only greeted him. "She-"
"She's about to get her ass handed to her by Lisanna," he grumbled as Nathan settled out in his lap.
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean?" the dolls insisted.
Shaking his head, he said, "If this all goes down how I think it is, you'll see soon enough."
It should be stated that, though he kept his meetings and interactions with the other two Strauss siblings to a minimum, Laxus had noticed a lot about their interactions with Mirajane that he'd only seen glimpses of before. Like how Elfman acts totally devoted to his sisters in public? That was no front. He literally was that way. Mirajane could probably tell him to jump off a cliff and he'd do it, if only he thought that she'd love him eternally for it.
Lisanna though…
She really seemed to love both her siblings, but in the past few weeks, her and Mira had seemed to be at odds. Of course, she was just as perky with Elfman as always, seeing as she always found his antics and over exaggerations of their day-to-day events as cute. With her sister though, she seemed to be more…distant.
And Laxus didn't think that it was him. Not really. It seemed more like Lisanna was using that as a scapegoat though, complaining frequently about how often he was around and about the fact that the original plan to take Nathan had been a family thing, not involving Laxus at all. He could tell though that something else was bothering her though.
"Oh, no, she's just jealous of you," Elfman said one day after Lisanna yelled at him while Mira was out at the store, about how he'd drank all the coffee and not refilled the pot.
Grunt. He did that whenever he didn't want to talk about something and, for the record, Lisanna Strauss was the last topic Laxus wanted to hear about. Other than, like, Elfman and Ever's relationship. Shiver. And to have any conversation with Elfman about anything wasn't fun.
"She gets that way about all of Mira's boyfriends," the overly muscular man went on as he cleaned up around the kitchen, per Mirajane's instructions.
Another grunt.
"She really likes the idea of Mira dating, but the second she actually has a boyfriend, one that Lisanna sees as cutting into their time together, she gets all-"
"Could you shut the fuck up?" Laxus had grumbled as he only mixed some more cream into his drink. "I'm trying to enjoy my coffee here."
"Real men drink it black!"
"And what, Elfboy, would you know about real men?"
From there, the conversation just dissolved into yelling and their usual bravado whenever Mirajane wasn't around, so Laxus was drawling a blank on how the rest went down.
He did gather one useless piece of information from that little snippet of his time in the Strauss household. Lisanna hated when you drank all the coffee. And, since he was never allowed directly to fight with her, he frequently would dump half a pot down the sink every morning when no one was around, just to piss her off.
You know, keep things fresh.
Also though, Laxus knew something else. Just from hearing random parts of talks Mira and her younger sister had when they were in good moods, he found that Lisanna had the hots for the Salamander. Which would have disgusted Laxus, did he not know the blonde one was all over that too.
"What a waste," he'd frequently find himself saying whenever he'd see Lucy and Natsu together. Then he'd remind himself that he was with Mirajane and getting with that not only would lose him his own woman, but then he'd have the Salamander's sloppy seconds.
Gross.
And when Mirajane's first 'friend' arrived that day, the change in the bar was almost pliable. He was clearly one of her model friends which made Laxus suspicious and jealous and…and…
Gah! What was that woman doing to him?
The women though were all over that, suddenly gravitating towards the bar to talk with Mira as he sat up there, holding a conversation with him.
"What's he got that we don't got?" Bickslow complained. "They never all swarm me. This is unjust! I mean, seriously, what?"
"An interest in women," Freed said with a roll of his eyes. Laxus only shook his head.
"And in your case, numb nuts," he told Bickslow, "he don't got fucking dolls hanging around and a god-awful mug accentuated by a hideous face tattoo."
"Harsh, boss."
"Harsh," the babies agreed, hanging close to their father, as if to comfort him.
Mira's plan was backfiring though because Natsu and Lucy just so happened to get back from their job that day, which meant the Salamander was up at the guild, blowing all his cash on food for him and his stupid feline.
Man, if there was something to be glad about being a second generation slayer, Laxus figured, it was that he didn't have one of those stupid cats. He'd have probably strangled his anyhow.
"Oh yeah," he grumbled when he looked down at the kid in his lap. "I got a brat instead."
And a dog. Err, a 'stray' as Mira put it. She was so full of it.
But with Natsu being back, that meant his girlfriend was too. Which usually was enough to keep him busy, but she'd been just like most of the female members and taken to fawning over Mr. Male Model, much to Mira's dismay, as that left Natsu open.
She was nothing, if not persistent, Lisanna was. And faithful. Because she spend her time with the pink haired idiot and his cat, narrowing her eyes at her sister whenever she passed.
It was kinda funny, really.
Except for the fact that Laxus knew he'd hear about it and Mira's anger over her lack of making a match later that night.
But other than that, it was hilarious.
"You sure have quite a few friends passing through today, Mirajane," Erza commented dryly at one point, eyeing her suspiciously, after the fifth guy had come and went, him and the second having paid special attention to her in particular. "Anything special?"
"Why?" Mira was defeated at that point as she only wiped down the bar. "You mad I didn't invite Jellal?"
"I don't know what you're-"
"They were for Lisanna," Kinana giggled into her palm as she stood by as well. "But she didn't seem too interested, did she? In any of them."
"No," Mirajane sighed as she stared down at the bar. "She didn't."
"Why wouldn't she have been?" Lucy asked as she only sat there with Levy, still giggling about how the last guy had just been so involved in everything Erza had ever done. "They were all super cute."
Mira looked over at where her sister sat with Natsu and sighed. Shrugging slightly, she said, "I dunno. I thought so too."
"Better not have," they heard then as Laxus approached the bar, his son in his arms. The appearance of him was enough to make Lucy and Levy scatter, both back to their respective boyfriend. And Levy her other boys too as Jet and Droy were none too happy with her either, braving being around Gajeel's table (he usually told them to scram, threatening them with force whenever she wasn't around), just to say so.
"I was just being courteous, guys," she said, blushing slightly as the Iron Dragon Slayer only rolled his eyes, Lily snickering from his spot atop the table. "Seriously."
"What difference does it make to you bozos anyhow?" Gajeel grumbled, glaring at them.
"There's seriously nothing to talk about," Levy kept insisted, more to Gajeel then. "I-"
"Who's talking, but you?"
He seemed unbothered, but that was just because he wasn't as stupid as Droy and Jet. He already had the shrimp. And he wasn't losing her. Didn't matter who walked through those guildhall doors.
"Ay, Lucy," Natsu greeted as she rejoined their table. Lisanna smiled at her as well. "You meet all Mirajane's friends?"
"Uh-huh," she said. "They-"
"Were any of 'em looking for a fight?" he asked, flexing. "'cause you should have called me!"
"No, Natsu," she sighed as Happy only giggled. "They weren't."
"Were they there to replace Laxus?" the Exceed asked, as if hopeful.
"No," Lucy said. "They, uh, well-"
"I already know," Lisanna said with a roll of her eyes. "She wanted me to, like, date one of them, didn't she?"
"Well-"
Natsu shook his head. "Why would you want to date one of those guys anyhow, huh?"
"W-What do you mean?" she asked slowly as Lucy eyed him as well.
"None of 'em even knew magic!" He shook his head. "What would be the point of you dating some guy if I don't get a new fighting partner, huh?"
"Yeah," Lisanna sighed, knowing she had been foolish to ever get her hopes up about his last statement. They were in front of his girlfriend anyhow. "What would be the point?"
"They were really nice though," Lucy told Lisanna, as if being helpful. Sometimes though, she had to question the other woman's motives. Lucy had to know that she…didn't she?
But they were friends. Weren't they?
It was all just a big, worthless mess.
Mirajane wholeheartedly agreed.
"That was a waste," she told Laxus as they headed home that night, Nathan snuggled up in her arms. "I mean, all I got to see was Erza being awkward with two guys that were out of her league-"
"Why are they out of Erza's-"
"Because I say so, Laxus!"
Okay, so Mira was in a bad mood. He only shook his head though.
"Why do you want Lisanna to have a boyfriend so badly, demon?" he asked as Nathan snored softly. "I mean, really?"
"I don't know. Elf had Ever-"
"Most of the time."
"And I have you-"
"For now."
She sent him a look, letting him know that his jokes were not appreciated.
"I just want her to be happy."
"Maybe she is," he said with a shrug. "And maybe she isn't. Either way, you can't force her to be."
"I guess so."
"And besides," he said, not believing that he actually cared that much to have the conversation to begin with. But alas, there he was. Gah! The demon was affection his whole mindset. "I'm sure she'll end up with someone. Maybe even Natsu, like she wants."
"Maybe," Mira mumbled, forlorn over the fact her plans had gone astray. "Maybe."
Late, but I really didn't know what to write about until about an hour ago, so…at least you got something tonight, right?