Parenthood

Chapter 18

"How do you even teach a kid to… I mean…" Laxus frowned, staring over at Nathan, who was seated on the living room floor, playing with his toys. "How do you teach a kid that suddenly, peeing in their diaper isn't cool? That something they've done since the beginning of their existence isn't alright?"

"I dunno," Mirajane said as she sat next to him on the couch. "I thought that this would kinda be, you know, a father-son thing. Not involving me at all."

"It does involve you, Mira," he said. "I mean, this isn't an overnight thing. He's going to have to, like, be taught that this isn't okay."

"Mmmm…still seems like a Laxus and Nathan thing to me."

"Wrong."

That was the beginning of their foray into potty training.

And it was horrible.

"Can't he just, like, stay in diapers forever?"

"No," Mira told Laxus whenever he asked this.

"Then can we give him to someone else to keep for, like, five months? Until he gets this whole potty thing under control?"

"Laxus."

The kid was just pure stubborn. And confused, mostly. He didn't seem to like the idea of using the potty at all! Laxus tried to make it sound great, but hey, he saw the kid's point of view. Why take care of your own waste if you had someone else to do it?

That wasn't the only thing that was changing though.

"This is a first," Laxus grumbled as they walked around the empty apartment.

"What?"

"I've never looked at a place with…with someone else. A woman," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "It's just…different."

"It's not like we're moving in together, Laxus," she assured him. "It's just best if you go ahead and move. You know, give Nathan more space. And it's still an apartment. All yours. Just…some of his too. Now."

So the second his lease was up at the old place, Laxus found himself relying on Bickslow, Freed, and Elfman to help him move all of his stuff into another, two bedroom apartment.

"Better," he reminded himself frequently. "It's better this way."

And he bought Nathan a little toddler bed to go in the extra bedroom, so that he had his own space to sleep. Ever was so happy that Laxus was moving (she saw it as a chance for her to empress him with her redecorating skills, yeah right) that she even splurged and bought the kid some things too.

"What are you trying to do here, Evergreen?" Bickslow complained once as he and Freed had to move the dresser she'd bought into the kid's bedroom. "Trying to one up us?"

"No," she said, making a face at them as she stood in the center of the tiny bedroom, instructing them exactly where to place the dresser. If she and Elfman hadn't gotten into a fight earlier that day, she'd have far preferred him there, lifting it all on his own, looking all sweaty and eager and…

Not that it made her…hot or something! Gross. She'd never get turned on by watching him…masterfully….and effortlessly move things around.

Because that would just be crazy. Ha. Crazy. And disgusting.

"This is just fun for me," she said as she had them drop it in exactly the right spot. "Is it not for you guys? Getting to redecorate? I love it! If I didn't just love everything that I've done with my apartment currently, I'd go redecorate that too."

"What is this decorating you're talking about?" Bickslow said, tongue falling out of his mouth as he stepped away from the dresser to admire his work as well, his babies taking to floating about the room. "You mean all this stupid time you're taking out to make sure that everything matches?"

"Yes, stupid."

"It's such a waste! Me and babies just buy things on the cheap and are just as happy as we would be if we had you as our cruddy decorator."

"That's because you, Bickslow, are a simple minded, idiotic individual."

"I'm really starting to lose the appeal of having you on our team," he said, facing falling then. "I mean, you're mean to me, don't show up for practices because you're with Elfman-"

"I'm starting to lose the appeal of having you on the team," she volleyed back. "What exactly do you add?"

"The comic relief, Ev-er," he said, breaking her name apart for show. "I mean, really, do you know nothing?"

"Me? You-"

"Would you all shut the hell up?" they heard then from somewhere else in the apartment, the words falling out of the mouth of their idol. "And get out if you're just going to argue!"

"I-I was not arguing, Laxus." Freed hurried from the room. "Honest, I wasn't!"

"Whatever," they heard him growl as the two of them also hurried along. "One of you bring me a beer! There should be some in the fridge!"

And that's how Laxus, who was laying on the bare mattress in his room, staring up at the ceiling, found himself with three beers and three very, very concerned followers.

"You totally abuse them," he heard Mira say from over by his closet where she was putting away his clothes.

"Totally," Lisanna complained from the adjoining bathroom, where she was trying to get the shower curtain hung. And why would she be helping Laxus out? Mainly because she wanted him out of her house, where he seemed to have been taking up more residence than usual. She was hoping that if they got him all moved in to his new place that he and Mira would see how much they loved it and just stay away from the house.

Not that she wanted to lose Mirajane though. But if they were a packaged deal, well…

She couldn't take him drinking all the coffee anymore! And Lisanna was fairly certain that the majority of the coffee was being poured down the sink by him. She had no solid evidence, but she was pretty sure.

"Laxus," Nathan giggled from his spot on the mattress, where he was playing with some of his toys, staying out from under the feet of all the others. His father only patted him on the head.

"If there's anything Dreyar men know how to do, kid, it's to have other people do their work for them," he told the child approvingly, to which Nathan only giggled.

"Not to ruin this moment or whatever," Mira spoke up as she glanced over at the bed. "Because I find it completely cute-"

"Already ruined," Laxus grumbled. "Just from saying that."

"-but get up. I said you could see if you like where the mattress is. Not that you can take a break," she said, sending him a glare. "Do you think that we're all just here to serve you, Laxus?"

"Well-"

"Get up!"

Ugh.

It took some time, but eventually, Laxus found that he really liked his new place. Other than, like, the fact that Mirajane brought a bunch of her stuff over or that she'd practically commandeered his bathroom with a barrage of hair and body products. Oh, and none of those women knew where he lived anymore. So he didn't get letters or whatever. Which was good. He guessed.

"It's kinda like," Bickslow said one day as he and Laxus hung out at his place, drinking beers, "you're all grown up now."

"What are you talking about?" he grumbled. "I've been grown since I was-"

"I mean that it's like you're a real adult now," he corrected. "You got a serious apartment, a serious girlfriend, and a kid. You're so cool, Laxus."

He rolled his eyes at the whole thing, but especially the last part. "You're drunk."

"Maybe," he agreed. "But it's still cool."

"What was cool was when I could have as many women as I wanted, whenever I wanted, and didn't have to worry about shit," he grumbled. "Now I have to make sure I have money for the kid or be around when Mirajane needs me. It's bullshit."

"But you chose it," Bickslow pointed out. "You didn't have to do either of those. But you still gave up the other things, just to have this. And that's what makes it cool. Because you're happy. I wanna be happy."

He blinked. "You're annoying when you're sober and when you're drunk."

"I do," he said. "And clearly you did too. That's why you did all this."

"No," he said. "I did all this to sleep with Mirajane Strauss."

"Yeah, and you did that," he said. "A lot. But you're still here. Because you-"

"Shut up, Bickslow. And get me another beer."

"Of course, boss!" He jumped up to do so, taking his empty one to throw it away as well. "On it!"

His babies were dormant then, laying on the coffee table, and Laxus could tell that Bickslow was disappointed that they weren't there to repeat him. He really did love his stupid dolls. Or at least the souls inside of them.

And when he went to bed that night, Laxus found that he didn't like it either. When Mira wasn't there to nag him about the fact that he'd stripped naked right next to the bed, leaving his clothes littering the ground. When Nathan wasn't around to sing to sleep, having to suffer through that intolerable song Mira thought he liked so much. Or when he wasn't there, waking them up in the morning, whining about his breakfast or about having to go potty (he was starting to understand the whole not pooping your pants things, slowly, but surely).

So maybe Laxus was happier as it was than he had been before. He'd never really assessed it, but he was living life without sleeping around pretty well. But he didn't think if Mirajane and Nathan were suddenly subtracted from his life that he'd be able to go on. They were a part of his whole routine.

He loved them.

"I do," he told himself that night as he laid in bed, all alone. "I really, really do."

Huh.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not, like, yelling at me or nothing," Bickslow said as he sat at the kitchen table in the Strauss house, awaiting Laxus. He had headed off to the bathroom and, after he got out of it, they'd be going down to the guild together. "Every time you find me here, you yell at me."

"I just want some cof- Damn it," Lisanna yelled as she found the pot still warm, but empty. Mirajane and Elfman had already taken off for the guildhall and she knew that neither of them would have done that to her. "Laxus!"

She just got a loud belch in response. Nathan, who was waiting on the kitchen floor for his father as well, playing with his toy cars, giggled.

"What?" Bickslow glanced back at her. "What's wrong?"

"He drank all the stupid coffee."

"And? Just make some more."

"I shouldn't have to make some more," she grumbled, though she set out then to do so. "But thank you, person that's not even supposed to be here, for telling me how to living in my own house. Thank you so very much."

"You're welcome."

"You're welcome!" his dolls sang, floating around the room in excitement. They thought that Lisanna's loud voice was out of joy, not out of anger. Boy were they wrong. "You're welcome!"

"Could you, like, contain your freaky dolls?"

"They're not freaky," he told her. "And you should really lose your attitude. 'fore I possess you, huh?"

She turned to glare over at him then, eyes dark. "I dare you."

He only blinked, eyes hidden behind his sallet. "You need to chill the hell out, kid. I was making a joke. I-"

"I'm not a kid!"

"Okay, so you're unbearable when you haven't had your coffee." Getting to his feet, he quickly went to pick Nathan up. "We'll just wait in the living room."

"Living room," the babies cheered, chasing after him. Lisanna only glared for a long time at the doorway to the kitchen, even though he was long gone. Then, slowly, she let out a breath and went back to making coffee.

When she finally made it down to the guildhall that day, she had a few words for Mirajane, never rightly losing her peeved attitude.

"I am tired, Mira, of having to share my house with your stupid boyfriend and his even stupider friends. I'm not going to do it anymore!" Lisanna stared her down as she approached the bar. "Either they stop coming around or I'm moving out."

"Wh-"

"The brat makes an excellent point," Laxus spoke up from where he was seated at the bar, drinking a mug of beer. Nathan was in his lap too, sipping on a juice box, and giggled when the man spoke. "I-"

"I'm not a brat," Lisanna insisted.

"-want you and the kid to move in with me," Laxus kept up, speaking right over Lisanna then. "Mirajane. Not you, brat."

"I'm not a-"

"Wait, what?" Mira had been trying to fill a mug with beer, but stopped then to stare at them.

"Move in with me," Laxus repeated.

"Or just get him to stop coming around the house," Lisanna reasoned. "I like that option much-"

"You can't move out!" Elfman was further down the bar, seated with Ever. Apparently they were having one of their good days, as she didn't seem to mind that one of his hands had found their way to her thigh, where it rested. "Either of you. What would I do with the house? All alone?"

"You can have the house," Laxus reasoned. "And the brat can go live in a dumpster."

"I'm not a-"

"Laxus." Mirajane heard that last part and frowned. "Behave."

He only made a face. "But he can have the house. And you like the apartment. It's big enough for both of us." He patted Nathan gently on the tummy. "All three of us."

"I," Mirajane began, but didn't know where to go. She looked to Lisanna then who was still glaring at Laxus. When she felt her sister's eyes though, she glanced at her.

"What?"

"What would you do?" she asked slowly. "If…if I moved out?"

"I thought we all just agreed that you can't?" Elfman called over to them. "Don't leave me out of something again! I was fine when you didn't consult me about the dog or about Laxus or the kid, but the house? This time it directly affects me!"

"I don't know," Lisanna said, tuning her brother out as she only stared at Mira. "Do you…want to move out?"

"Well, apparently you don't like our current arrangement."

"I don't like him," she said, gesturing to Laxus who only scowled in response. "And Mira, I know now that he has to be the one that's pouring the coffee down the drain. There's no other place it could possibly-"

"I resent the accusation," Laxus grumbled. When Mira glanced at him, he said, "I mean, I'm not denying it, but-"

"I-I have to think about this," she told them then. "Really, I-"

"You don't have to think about anything," Elfman had stood then as Evergreen only frowned at him. "You two can't leave me! What would I do without you?"

"Uh, try live as a grown man who isn't dependant on his sisters?' Ever hissed at him. "Now sit!"

"Actually, he's right," Makarov spoke up from his spot atop the bar. "You don't have to think about this."

"I don't?" Mira asked, frowning over at him.

"No. Right now you have to work," he insisted, stressing the last word. "You have a job to do, Mira."

Laxus rolled his eyes. "Be quiet, old man."

"I can't take it, Ever," Elfman was sobbing then as he took his seat once more. "I can't live without my sisters!"

"Well, I think that only one of them was going somewhere, so-"

"Still. Mira and I have lived together our whole life," he cried. "What would I do without her? She's such a man. She makes practically all my decisions for me. How would I know what to wear in the morning if she didn't wash it for me?"

Ever blinked. Then she stood up.

"And you just ruined any chance at us working out," she said before turning to head over to the Thunder Legion's usual table. "Nice going, idiot."

"I'm not an idiot!"

Mirajane just got back to work, as she had a lot of tables to bus and drinks to refill. There really was no time for her to be worrying about silly things that day.

"I hate you," Lisanna told Laxus then before turning to walk away. He only rolled his eyes though and moved to turn up his headphones, unlatching one of them to put it on his son's ears.

"They're all fucking crazy," he told the child who only giggled, patting the man's cheek when he leaned down. "Maybe we should just cut and run."

Makarov didn't open his eyes then and look down on his grandson. Didn't make any notion of even caring about what he and Mira had just discussed. But inwardly he was…proud wasn't the word. He was rarely proud of Laxus. But… Maybe he wasn't all bad.

Maybe.

"I just don't get what there is to think about," Laxus complained as he and Mirajane laid in bed that night. "I mean, you either want to or you don't. And if you don't, that's fine, but-"

"You were the one, Laxus," she started as she laid there, all snuggled up in the blankets and him, trying to keep warm, "that told me when you bought this place that I was only a guest. That-"

"And now I've seen the error of my ways," he told her. "I know that I want you and Nathan here. I-"

"But what changed?"

"Nothing changed, Mirajane," he told her. "I just-"

"Well, your feelings obviously did."

"Obviously."

"So why?"

He only laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling, not knowing really what to say. It had taken a while to get Nathan down that night, as it almost always did when he had to sleep in his big boy bed. He didn't like being left all alone in there. Not at all. And if he hadn't planned, and delivered, on banging Mirajane that night, he'd have let the poor kid sleep in bed with them.

"He has to learn, Laxus," Mira had scolded him. "He can't always get what he wants. Not to mention, he's safe in here. Nothing can get him. And he has to learn that. He's more than old enough to self comfort."

"…Apparently we have two very different definitions of what self comfort means."

Then she'd hit him in the shoulder. "Behave."

Regardless though, the kid eventually fell asleep and Laxus found his way back into his bed with Mirajane. And after all was said and done, he also found himself having said conversation.

"I don't know," he was telling her then. "And if I did, what difference would it make? I want you guys here with me now. I want you here with me always. Isn't that what you wanted?"

She hesitated then. "Elf and Lisanna-"

"They're both grown. And I think that Lisanna needs to get knocked off her high horse anyways," he grumbled. "She's been a real-"

"Have you really been pouring her coffee down the drain every day?"

"Define every day."

"Laxus-"

"The point is," he cut her off. "She and Elfman both will be just fine on their own. Seriously, Mira. You can't baby them forever. You have a real baby to think about now."

"Yeah, you."

"Mira-"

"I just know you, Laxus," she said. "And I know me. I've never taken this step with a guy. And I know you never have with another woman. If this all blows up then-"

"Did you ever think, Mira, that you've never taken anything this far with another guy because you weren't supposed to?" He just kept looking up at the ceiling, listening to the clock by his bed tick. "That you were just waiting for me? That I was waiting for you?"

Groaning, she said, "You want this now, Laxus, but-"

"And if I don't want it later or you don't want it later, no harm, no foul. Just like our whole relationship. Lisanna and Elf will take you back into the house and I can go back to my life with ease."

But they both knew that wasn't true. Because it would hurt Nathan. Very much. It was like they were constantly changing his home. His mother, then to Laxus' apartment, then Mira's, and now another new place?

"It's been what now?" he asked. "Nearly six months? Since we first… And I think that I'm ready. Aren't you?"

She didn't know. So she only laid against him, eyes shut, and weighed all the possibilities in her head.

"I just need more time," she told him eventually. "Really, I-"

"Fine," Laxus sighed then, shutting his eyes. Smiling slightly then, he added, "Take as much time as you want, Mira. I'm not going anywhere."

And he wasn't.