Parenthood

Chapter 28

"That's some heavy shit."

"Mmmm."

"I can't even…" Laxus frowned, staring at the little boy was content as he sat between Mirajane and his father on the bed, being read to by the former. Laxus had his own book out, but was unable to focus on it. "I mean, I think about if I knew how… I mean, if I knew that that woman was pregnant with Nate, I would have wanted her to get rid of it too. And then we wouldn't…"

"You don't need to think about that, Daddy," Mirajane told him as she turned the page in the book, keeping Nathan's interest well. "Because it didn't happen."

"Woof woof," Nate called out then as the dog, who was resting at the foot of their bed, took to wagging his tail. "Woof woof."

That's what he called the dog. Mira thought it was cute. Laxus just made it another one of those noises that he blocked out.

"But still. I-"

"You have Nate now, Laxus," Mirajane told him. "And you'd never do anything to ruin that."

"Of course not."

"And if I ever accidentally wound up pregnant-"

"What?"

"-you wouldn't want me to get rid of the baby, of course. In fact, you might even be-"

"Demon," he grumbled, glancing over at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not talking about anything."

"You-"

"I was just making an example."

Why didn't he believe her? Hmmm.

"You better not try to trap me," he grumbled. "'cause I won't take well to that."

"I'm just kidding, Laxus," she assured him, sparing a glance his way as Nate took to patting at the different pictures in the book. "I don't want to get pregnant until we decide together that we want to try."

Grunt. He went back to his own book.

"Or in six months, I'll find a guy that's willing to have a baby with me. Shouldn't be too hard."

"Demon," he growled as she only snuggled Nathan close to her.

"I don't think it's fair, Laxus, that Ever and Elfman are going to have a baby and we're not."

"Last time I checked, Mirajane, the whole point is that they're not getting one."

"Oh, no, we both know that Ever will end up keeping it."

"I doubt it."

"I don't."

"And besides, you have Nathan. What more do you want?"

"You know that Nathan's my baby," she said as the little boy in question took to just turning the page of the book himself, since Mira was taking too long. "But I never got to be pregnant, Laxus."

"I thought that was a good thing," he grumbled. "You know, no stretch marks or whatever."

"Laxus."

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't you think it would be great? For us to cuddle up at night and you could kiss my tummy and-"

"Yeah, you're great, Mira, and everything, but that's not happening. So maybe you should go out and look for this mystery guy now."

"You play, Laxus, but you know it would only take a snap of my fingers."

"Yeah? And a snap of mine and I could have this bed filled with women."

"And you could also lose me and Nathan just like that."

Grunt. Then, he said, "Do we really need another kid? Right now? I mean-"

"It's not like we're struggling. Or would be if we had one."

"We live in a two bedroom apartment with a dog and a kid. Why add to that?"

"Because, Laxus, I want-"

"You know, Mirajane, sometimes that the things that you want have to be put to the side for your family," he said, glancing at her. "Kinda like how I put my desires to the side all the time."

"What desires? And if you're about to start talking about wanting to sleep with other people-"

"I really want to buy motorcycle. But I have rent to pay for, a kid that constantly needs new clothes, a girlfriend who thinks my money is just a prop she can use whenever she wants-"

"Take more jobs, Laxus. And save up for it. You-"

"No, Mira," he said, glancing at her. "I don't want to take more jobs than I do now. I want to be here. With you. And with Nate."

She blinked. Then, after a moment, she glanced at him and smiled. "That's cute."

"Shuddup."

"No, seriously, Laxus, that-"

"I said-"

"It's cute and you know it," she said as Nathan glanced over at Laxus. He was annoyed that the man was ruining story time.

"Shhh," he shushed his father, bringing his finger up to his lips while he was at it. Laxus only gave him a half snarl before going back to his own book.

"You have the kid thinking he bosses me around or something," he complained to Mirajane who only snuggled Nathan closer.

"And if we had another baby, he could be on your side."

"Yeah, right," he complained. "Then I'd just give you two kids to turn against me."

"I didn't turn him against you, Laxus. He saw his choices and made the right one. That's all."

"Ha ha."

Nathan snuggled up against Mirajane then. "Read, Mira."

"I am, baby," she told him. "I was just correcting Daddy on a few things."

"Mira-"

"Mira," Nathan complained, speaking over his father then. "Read."

"You're right," she giggled as Laxus gave the boy a look. "He is a tad bossy."

"A tad?"

"Nate," Mira said then, looking down at the toddler. "You know how to say please."

"P'ease?" He tilted his head back to stare up at her. "Mira?"

"Okay." After pressing a kiss to his head, she said, "But you don't be so bossy anymore."

Reading time, per usual, lasted until lunch time. And lucky for Laxus, after that, it was nap time.

For the boy anyways.

"I feel so weird sometimes," Mirajane admitted to Laxus as they both relaxed in the tub. "Taking a bath during the middle of the day."

"Think of it as a half way point," he told her. "We gotta wash all the crud he threw at us from the morning off so we can deal with the afternoon."

"Mmmm." It was a new implement, but was becoming one of her favorites.

"You know though," Mirajane told him as one point as she leaned back against his chest and he took to shutting his eyes. "After my bath, I have to get to work."

"Not for, like, what? Two hours? We're not taking a two hour bath here, are we, demon?"

"No," she said slowly. "But I have to take time out to get ready too, after."

"Ready, huh?"

"Mmmhmm. You think that you and Nate'll wanna come down there with me? Just for a few hours."

"I dunno."

Mirajane only sighed. "So you thought anymore about the baby?"

"Mira-"

"What? Laxus, I want a baby. Why is that such a bad thing?"

"It's not," he sighed. "But-"

"You gave another woman a baby."

"Mirajane-"

"Well, you did."

"You're being difficult."

"I'm always difficult when I don't get my way."

"You're just like Nathan."

"Maybe," she agreed. "But that doesn't change the fact that I want one."

"You're impossible."

"And I want to get married."

That brought him even more pause then the baby thing. "Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Mirajane-"

"I just do," she said as she shifted slightly to grab the soap and actually begin bathing. "I've never put it out there before, but it's the truth. Marriage is the end goal for me in this. Is it not you?"

"I kinda like how things are now."

"I do too," Mirajane assured him. "I love you and Nathan. And I'm not saying any time soon. Like, not in the coming weeks or anything. Our anniversary isn't even until two weeks anyhow."

Anniversary? Hmmm.

"But I want it eventually to get there," Mirajane said. "And tell me now if you don't."

"I do."

"I'm serious, Laxus. If you don't, that's fine, but it's not fair to either of us for you to-"

"Demon, I do, alright?" He pressed a kiss to her shoulder making her mewl softly. Against her flesh, he whispered, "I promise. Just… I need more time. For all of this."

"'kay," Mirajane said. "Just don't take too long."

"I won't."

And apparently, he couldn't. Not that he could focus for too long on the marriage thing. Apparently, there was some sort of anniversary on the table. And even for as suave as Laxus tried to be with Mirajane, he couldn't for the life of him remember when it was.

Huh. You'd think he'd remember the day that he first banged Mirajane.

…Freed. Freed knew everything about him. Maybe he'd even know the date that Mirajane considered their anniversary.

Hopefully. It was one time his creepy side could be of any help.

Work was so boring. Lisanna hated it. Especially when Mirajane was on the job too. It used to be fun, helping her out, but recently, nothing was fun anymore.

Except hanging out with Bickslow.

But work. Ugh. And when Mirajane was on duty as well, Lisanna's tips would dwindle. You know, because she wasn't a freaking model who, for the record, would never get with any of those guys anyways. Even if Laxus wasn't lingering in the back of her mind, all the other perverts in the guildhall were disgusting to her for the most part.

Not that she didn't bleed them dry of as many jewels as she could.

It was almost an art, Lisanna figured, the way that Mirajane raked in tips. And could they really be mad at her? They all had their own skills. And Mira's, fine, was her takeover abilities, but the way she could get money from any guy at any time was definitely something worthy of an honorable mention.

It was also something though that apparently wasn't hereditary. Or if it was, Lisanna hadn't been blessed with the specific gene.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lisanna," Mirajane would say with a shrug. "I don't try and get tips. I just get them. Maybe if you smiled some more instead of moping around constantly, guys would give you tips."

No such luck. Everyone wanted their jewels to go to Mirajane. Kinana told her that she dealt with the same thing.

"At least Bickslow always tips you big," she offered. "Since you guys are friends."

Except Bickslow wasn't around that day. And Lisanna was kinda missing him. She'd taken a long job before and then he was taking small jobs and they just…

But at least she'd had time to spend with Natsu and Happy. And Lucy and Gray too. But still…

So after work that day (bleh, it just dragged on and on), she headed over to his apartment. Since they hadn't seen one another in a few days, she was honestly a little nervous about just showing up. But she already had a handy little reason for her visit, to cover the fact that she was truly just lonely.

"Bickslow," she sang as he opened his apartment door. "I know something you don't know."

He was only standing there, clad in just jeans, blinking at her. "H-Hey, Lisanna, I was actually just waking up and-"

"Just waking up? It's almost five in the afternoon." She pushed passed him without a second thought. "Come on then. Let's go to lunch. Or breakfast for you. I-"

"Lisanna-"

She came to a stop then as she saw a woman who she didn't know coming out of the bathroom, her brown hair damp from a no doubt recent shower, wearing one of Bickslow's long-sleeved t-shirts.

"Having guests are we?" she asked, glancing at Bickslow. Lisanna hadn't felt that awkward in a long time. Either had Bickslow, she assumed.

"You know Laxus," he said with a shrug.

"Of course I know Laxus."

Something in the way she said the other man's name told Lisanna all she needed to know.

"This is his girlfriend's little sister."

"Oh." She was older than Lisanna. Older than Mira, it looked like. But not in a bad way.

Definitely not in a bad way.

"The girlfriend that ruined all our fun?" She chuckled then. Not giggled. Something about her laugh just bypassed a giggle. She was mature. There was no way that Lisanna could compete with that.

Not that she wanted to though! No way. But…

Mira clearly had. And won. So there was that.

"Not all of it," Bickslow sighed as he shut the door. "Uh, Lissy? Did you want something?"

"N-No, I-"

"You said that there was something that you wanted to tell me?"

"I…" She couldn't stop watching the woman. So what? Now that Laxus was with Mirajane that meant that Bickslow got his leftovers? "It's not important. I mean, you're clearly busy here, so-"

"Not really," the woman said before heading to Bickslow's bedroom. "I have somewhere to be anyhow. Oh, and fun ruiner's sister? Tell Laxus I say hi."

She closed the bedroom door then, no doubt getting dressed once more as Lisanna only shot the stink eye her way. It could travel through wood. Lisanna knew it could.

"Shit, Lisanna," Bickslow grumbled as he turned to head over to his mini-fridge and pull out a beer. "Shit."

"Shit me? Shit you." She blushed then. It wasn't like she cursed frequently or anything. Probably less than the majority of her friends. Only when she was upset. "What did I do wrong? I just came over to talk. You-"

"I didn't mean it that way," he sighed. "I just-"

But the door to his bedroom was opening again and that woman was walking out. Lisanna wanted so badly to be able to be able to say something bad about her. But she couldn't. She was highly attractive. And seemed mature. Lisanna could picture her with Laxus, fine, but Bickslow?

He was red then as the woman came over to giving a kiss on the cheek. Lisanna found herself, for some reason, glaring which was totally stupid. Totally. She wasn't…attracted to Bickslow or anything. No way! She just…well…

"I'll see you later, huh?" she asked with a wink to which Bickslow only nodded slightly. Then she headed right to the door and went out it, leaving them alone.

"So," he said after a few moments of silence. "Uh-"

"I'm just gonna go," she said before turning to walk out as well. "I-"

"No, don't." He was quick to go grab her arm, stopping her. "Lissy-'

"I-"

"What did you want to tell me? Huh?"

"Nothing. It was stupid. I-"

"Hey, you know what?" He let go of her arm then as he turned to look around for something. Just as quickly, he was heading into his bedroom to find whatever it was. When he returned, he had a baggie with him. "I went out and got us some stuff. Since you're here anyhow, you wanna smoke some and then go out and get something to eat? Or something?"

"Bickslow-"

"I know that was awkward," he said as he came back over to her. "But I mean, come on; I've talked to you before about the women I hang around. You knew that I was seeing someone."

Sort of. He always said that he was sort of seeing someone. A lot of someones. As he put it, nothing he did was serious.

"It's all just sex," he told her once. "That's all."

And she hadn't really cared back then much, but in that moment? As she was standing there in his apartment with egg on her face? Yeah, she cared. She cared a lot.

"Where," she found herself saying then, "are the babies?"

"Sleepin' still, I guess. I don't really let them roam around when I have…visitors." He winked at her. "I'll get 'em up, huh? And then we can smoke? Or we can go out and get something to eat now if you wanna. That's fine too. And you can tell me what this big secret is, huh?"

"It's not a secret, but-"

"It's cool," he said. "Let's go out and get some takeout, huh? And then come back here?"

"Bick-"

"Just let me get dressed. And get the babies." He winked at her. "You know you wanna, Lissy."

She wanted, honestly, to somehow purge from her mind what she had just seen. But considering that wasn't an option…

Well, she was kinda hungry.

So that was how Lisanna found herself, some time later, sitting on the floor of his living room in the dark, takeout boxes spread across the carpet, as well as some of his babies. The others were circling around, talking in their nonsensical babble that only he seemed to understand.

"So," she found herself saying at one point when her mind was muddy and her mouth was dry. Bickslow always seemed to need more than her to get to that point and must have had quite the tolerance to the stuff. "Evergreen's pregnant."

He about choked then, on a piece of meat lodged in his throat. Lisanna was concerned, but he only reached out to grab his beer and down half of it, washing the meat down. Then he took his joint from her hands and took a few puffs.

"No shit?"

"Nope," she said with a shake of her head. "That's what you didn't know."

"Man."

"But you can't tell anyone."

"Of course not."

"Not even her."

"But-"

"I mean, Bickslow," she began then before staring hard at him. The only light in the room was the little bit leaking out from a tiny window and the glow that his babies would randomly cast off. "She might not even keep it."

"Shit," he cursed again as she only nodded. "And it's whose?"

"Bickslow."

"Your brother? Double shit."

"I think you're up to triple now."

"Quadruple then," he said. "This deserves it."

She only nodded before reaching out to take a sip of her own beer. "I know."

"Who told you? Not her, right?"

"Of course not."

"Then-"

"Mirajane did at first, but she promised me to secrecy."

"And you're breaking that sibling oath just for me? I'm honored."

"No, stupid," she said as he only patted his chest, making his babies giggle. "Elf came to me later and so I figure it's okay. If he himself is telling me. You just can't go around saying anything."

"Scouts honor."

"Bickslow-"

"Kid, you think I'm gonna blab? No way!"

"Because you take pride in our friendship?"

He blew smoke in her face. "Because Evergreen scares the shit out of me."

He did have a point on that one…

"So hey," she found him saying then. "What have you been doing recently anyhow? We don't even talk anymore, it feels like."

"We've just both been busy these past few weeks," she told him. "I was working and you, apparently, were sleeping around."

He snorted at that before taking to lean back against the couch, which he was seated in front of. Holding out the smoke for her to take, he just as quickly took to messing with his Mohawk.

"Man, kid, you don't even know," he said then as she only rolled her eyes. "They all come after me now. You know, just to ask about Laxus and your sister."

"The fun ruiner."

"I don't call her that."

"But you let them-"

"I didn't let her do shit, Lisanna. I don't have nothing to do with her."

"Except you just slept with her."

"I sleep with a lot of people! Or at least I try to."

She blushed then, there in the darkness, before concentrating once more on eating. Words felt heavy against her tongue, but she found herself speaking regardless.

"We're different, I guess."

"Well, you're in love. With the Salamander, no less," he said then, nodding over at her. "And that's cute. But me? I ain't in love. Who am I saving myself for? No one. So why can't I have fun? Not a single day's promised in this world, Lissy."

"Even so," she said, glancing over at him once more. "I don't think I could ever-"

"People are diverse. Some people, like you, hold sex to some sort of standard. Put it up on a pillar. Treat it all special and shit. Then there's people like me who see it for what it is. I get what I need out of it, she gets what she needs, and we're both happy. Everyone's happy."

"Except the fun ruiner."

"Lisanna."

"I almost died, Bickslow."

"I know. I-"

"No, not like the rest of you. When you constantly put your lives on the line. That's serious, but I legitimately would have died, had it not been for Edolas," she said. "And even knowing that or knowing that I could die tomorrow or the next day or even this second, I don't want to just blow my last day on stupid things."

"Pleasurable things."

"Pleasures of the flesh," she corrected. "That's all. And then it's gone. Just like that. Over."

"You're life could be too."

"Then so be it. I'd rather do something else with my day than meaningless things with people that don't matter to me."

"Like what?"

"Like…hang out with Natsu or be around Mirajane or…do this. With you."

That made him blink before shaking his head.

"You just don't get it," he dismissed her. "And you won't until you, you know, lose it."

"Then I just won't get it," she told him. "That's fine."

"Mmmm." He was moving again then, slowly, to reach out and pick up a takeout box. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I think we should go on another trip soon."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Wherever you want, kid," he told her. "Wanna go camping again?"

"Mmmm," she sighed as she thought. "We should go to the beach."

"The beach?"

"Uh-huh."

"We ain't gotta go far for that."

"Well, let's go to one a little ways off," she told him. "Away from everybody."

"You wanna?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Hmmm." He thought for a moment. "Got a plan."

"What?"

He was laughing then for some reason though, but he did that a lot. Just for no reason. In her state though, her mind about equal with his, if not a little further gone, she took to chuckling too.

Once he sobered, he said, "We could hike there."

"Hike?"

"Mmmhmm. Take a big long journey on foot to some far away beach. Just me, you, and the babies, of course."

"Of course," they all shrieked making her giggle again. "Lisanna. Papa."

"For how long though?" she found herself asking then.

"However long the two of us can stand one another," he told her which got a laugh too, from both of them. And the babies, but they hardly counted; they'd laugh at anything.

"Just tell your siblings this time, huh?" he asked. "Laxus came down on me for that last time."

"And what does he think about you sleeping with his…whatever they were to him."

Bickslow frowned, annoyed that she was bringing that up again.

"He don't think nothing 'bout it, Lissy," he told her. "Why would he? They're nothing to him. You just said that yourself. They're just…women. It happens."

"So what? You get his seconds?"

"Why? Worried for your sister?"

She gave him a look for that as he only groaned.

"This shit's supposed to relax you, babe," he grumbled as he only reached out to take his smoke back from her once more. "Not make you standoffish."

"I'm not stand-"

"Are too."

"Are not."

"And apparently, we can't stand one another for more than a day anymore," he sighed then, shaking his head. "I don't get it anymore, Lisanna."

"What?"

"It's like everything I do is wrong. Everything."

"I've never said-"

"We used to have fun," he kept up. "What happened to having fun?"

She only sat there though, staring at him. She wasn't equipped to fight at that moment. She just wasn't. Words were forming slowly and even in the dark, everything seemed fuzzier than usual.

When she didn't respond, Bickslow took to getting up. He needed another drink. But when he sat back down, it wasn't by the couch. It was right next to her.

"When did things get so complex, kid?" he asked as she only stared at him. He was holding the joint out to her then, wanting her to take another hit, but she felt bad as it was. When she didn't, he took her turn for her.

"I mean," he went on after blowing his smoke towards his dolls, who for some reason liked flying through it, distorting it further. "Is this how it always is? Feels like it. I get to be friends with someone, but the closer we get, the worse off we are. Maybe I'm cursed.

"Or maybe, is that life you think? That the reason it gets all tangled and screwed up later on is because our friendship isn't as shallow as before? You think? That'd make sense. It's not that I'm cursed. It's that life is. The closer you are to someone, the more you start to understand them and take on their struggle.

"But not all struggles mesh. Our lives don't mesh. You're…you're you. Easy to get along with, have a great brother and sister, are on the path to maybe scoring the love of your life, if you could just do something about Lucy. And me? I'm still just me. A loser. Sometimes I do something great. Sometimes I'm a part of something great. But I mostly just get off on hurting other people. How could we ever be friends? Really friends?"

She wanted to tell him that he was being silly. Of course they could be friends. And yeah, maybe things did get more mangled as their friendship progressed and grew, but that didn't make it wrong. That didn't invalidate it. That just meant that they had to work at it more. Not all things flowed together. So their currents didn't harmonize. Who cared? She didn't. She wanted to be around him regardless. Because he was different and he made her feel different. More mature. Validated. Important.

Her mind was still trying to piece together how to convey this to the seith, when suddenly, just as she was turning her head to speak, it was met with his mouth. His lips.

Was he…kissing her?

It felt long, but she was sure that it was quick. She hadn't even really had time to react before he was pulling back to gaze at her.

"Tell me," he whispered there in the darkness, as she only stared with wide eyes. "That I didn't just take your first kiss or something weird like that."

She blinked. Then she shook her head softly.

"No, I… No."

"Good," he sighed. He'd been worried that that was saved for the damn Salamander too... "Now I won't feel so bad about this."

That time when he kissed her, it was real. The hesitance was gone and replaced with fortitude. He knew what he was doing.

She just didn't.

And not just because it was Bickslow or that she had, at that point, reach her limit with the alcohol and drugs, but rather because… Yeah, she'd kissed a guy before. But not like that.

When he pulled back that time, she was flushed and his eyes were clouded over.

Lisanna knew she should leave. Or speak. Or something. But she couldn't.

What had they been talking about again?

"You're not keeping everything for the damn Salamander, are you?" he grumbled when she only sat there. That seemed to snap her out of whatever weird haze she was in. Blinking, she only shifted away from him before finding her words, finally.

"I have to go," was all she whispered as she slowly got to her feet. "Now. I… Goodbye, Bickslow."

"Shit," she heard him growl as she only quickly slipped on her shoes and left. Her head felt light and she decided right then and there that Mirajane had been right. No part of her felt good then and it was all thanks to smoking with him.

And getting close to him.

The whole way back home though, Lisanna couldn't convince herself that she disliked being kissed by Bickslow. She wasn't so sure that she had liked it either, as she hadn't really given herself a chance to enjoy it, but distaste was not a feeling she was having.

Confusion was one though. And annoyance. So what? He thought that she was just like all those other women that he was with constantly? That she was just going to…what? Put out for him after just seeing another woman leave the apartment only hours before?

What kind of woman did he thinks she was?

More importantly, what kind of woman was she?

"What's up with you?"

Her heart about stopped when walked through the front door of her home to find Elfman sitting there, on the couch, pouting from the looks of it. She wasn't sure why, but her hand did come up then to wipe at her mouth, as if to hide evidence or something.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Why?"

"I don't know," he grumbled, glancing at her. "You just look…red. You run here or something?"

"No," she replied, just as hotly. "I just… I'm tired, okay?"

"Whatever."

"Oh, Elf, I was just-"

"What am I supposed to do, huh? About Evergreen?"

With a sigh, Lisanna headed over to the couch even though part of her was afraid Elfman could smell just how intoxicated she was if only from her presence.

He didn't seem to care. He just wanted company.

"She's real mad at me, Lisanna. Hardly will even talk to me. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well." But that was all that came out. If putting the solutions to her own problems into words was hard at the moment, contemplating Elfman's was near impossible. "Just… You wanna keep the baby, huh?"

"Of course."

"Then she can't do anything to it without your say so. I mean, I guess she could, but she won't. She wants your confirmation that it would be the right decision. So just don't give it to her."

"I…I… You know what you smell like?"

That was a swift change of subject. And one that she didn't want to get into.

"Elfman," she began, ready to hear about how drinking was bad or how Bickslow was a horrible friend. Something. Instead he only got to his feet.

"Food," he said. "I haven't eaten in hours. And even then, not much. This whole thing has me all mixed up."

"Mira's working," Lisanna said as she only blinked. "You could go down there and-"

"I'll do that. You wanna join?"

When she declined, he only took to patting her on the head and telling her that he loved her before taking off.

Well. Considering the rest of her day, that was at least somewhat normal.

Left alone then, once more, with only herself, Lisanna skulked off to her bedroom, head hung and defeated.

How could the one friend she wanted be oblivious to her advancements and the other that she honestly just wanted as a friend be coming onto her?

Unless…had she been dropping Bickslow hints?

Her head hurt. All of her hurt.

"Maybe things'll look up tomorrow," she sighed as she collapsed into her bed, not even kicking off her shoes first.

But how many times could she tell herself that before she just relinquished the hope?

From this point forth, the next two chapters should just be closure to each of their own personal little dramas and then... I dunno. We'll see after that. Maybe more chapters, but maybe another story entirely.