Disclaimer: None of the Benedicts/the Savant World belong to me. All rights to Joss Stirling :)

Chapter Seventeen

I can feel the inevitable grin tugging at my lips but I can't quite bring myself to smile. I didn't know that two blue stripes could rip open such a large package of mixed emotions all at once. Slowly, making its way through joy, confusion, happiness and the swirling butterflies, is fear. How are we going to do this? He's still got six months of Med School, after that a secured job at St. Isaac's Hospital and admittedly, I haven't committed to any of the offers I've had but I'd still like to work. Soon. I can hear the apartment door opening and banging shut as Xav chucks his trainers in a corner and heads straight for the bathroom to have a shower, like he does every day. Quickly, I stuff the test in the pocket of my sweatshirt, trying not to feel grossed out by the fact that I have my fingers closed around a stick that has just been peed on, and shuffle out of the bathroom. It's strange how suddenly your awareness changes as soon as you realize that you carry another human being in you. With a sudden jolt, I wonder if Xav's gift could have picked up on this. Luckily, he was already at work when I got up only to rush to the toilet to puke my guts out for an hour straight so he didn't see me portraying any of the tell-tale symptoms. Still, could he possibly pick up on this?

"Hey, Beauty" Xav greets me with a goofy grin and pulls me towards him. For a split second, while his lips cover mine tenderly, I forget that he's going to be a father in eight months and I have to tell him but I feel so safe and secure in his arms that I block everything else out.

"You okay?" He asks and looks at me in concern. Shit, he's sensing something, isn't he?

"Yeah, sure. How was work?"

"Okay, okay" Xav backs away, laughing. "Who are you and what have you done with Crystal Benedict?"

A little swarm of butterflies is set free when he says my new surname.

"You never ask how work was… You always start talking about how awesome slash awful yours was and then ask about mine. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Xav." I roll my eyes. "Just don't feel like complaining today"

Xav continues to eye me suspiciously but then just turns around to walk to bathroom, taking his shirt off on the way. Damn. Making sure, the shower is loud and running, I hurry into our bedroom, pulling out my phone in the process.

"Phee?"

"Hi, Crystal. How's it going?"

Hearing her voice instantly calms me down a bit. In the past few years, I've become really good friends with Phoenix and Sky, and more recently, Leah and Ava. They balance out all the Benedict boys and are always there when you need them.

"I've got a slight problem"

"Oh?" I can just picture Phee putting away whatever book she was reading, sitting up straight, making sure that nothing was distracting her.

"I'm pregnant"

And I'm pretty sure my eardrums just exploded.

"Crystaaal! That's so amazing. Congratulations!"

"Keep it down, will you?"

"You're not happy?" Phee sobers up immediately, hearing the distress in my voice.

"I haven't got a clue on how to tell him. How did you do it with Yves?" Phee was currently eight months pregnant, making Karla ecstatically happy every time they saw each other.

"Oh… um… well, with us it was kinda different. We'd been trying for so long and then it finally worked so I made quite a big deal out of it."

"Wow… That's um… not something I intend to do."

"Why?" It isn't a probing question but more like a very tentative one.

"I … I don't know. We've never really talked about kids… I mean we did a few years ago but we that was shortly after we got together and … It's never been a big topic. I mean, we're only 23."

"Crystal." Uh-oh, her 'business'-voice. "I am 22 years old, pregnant by my wonderful husband and completely happy about it. You're almost 24 years old, pregnant by your wonderful, though I must add annoying husband, why aren't you happy?"

"Because… I don't think we're ready." There. It was out.

"Crystal… Is anyone ever ready?" It is rhetorical question. I swear, she's read too many books. She's so wise she could pass as Dumbledore any day.

Xav is already half asleep when I flop down on the bed after having changed into my pyjamas.

"Are you sure you're alright, Cupcake?" He asks and props himself on one elbow to stare down at me.

"I … Yeah, I'm fine."

"Crystal. It hurts when you lie."

Damn hormones. Now I've got massive tears in my eyes threatening to spill over. I've never been one to cry and I think Xav has only seen me cry a couple of times at the most.

"Crystal?" Xav sounds outright worried now.

"Just … could you do me a favour?" I ask and have no idea where this hormone-induced thing has come from.

"Anything, Beauty"

"Could you close your eyes for a second and just let me…."

Xav trusts me and knows me so well that he closes his eyes immediately and allows me to place his hand on my stomach.

"Cupcake? Is this some kind of new thing we're trying 'cause -?"

Shut up, Xav. D'you feel something?

Yeah. Your stomach… A very nice one, might I add.

Xav!

Sorry!

Use your gift.

Wha-

Xav eyes fly open immediately and he's staring at me with so much love and wonder that the tears start forming again.

Are you - ?

Not trusting myself to speak, not even telepathically, I bite my lip and nod frantically.

Holy –

Uh-uh, Androcles. No swearing anymore. It can hear everything you and I do or say.

Xav smirks slightly and moves himself on top of me, one arm on each side of my head.

So, she can hear this? He kisses the spot right below my ear. And this? He kisses my pulse point, making sure that it's beating loud and fast. And this? He nuzzles my neck and moves his lips straight above my mine.

You think it's gonna be a girl?

Seriously?! I just did a very good job of getting close to seduce you and then you just pick up on one word I say! Xav fakes indignation.

Crystal?

Hhmm?

This is good news, you know that. You're going to be such a good mother.

So are you.

I'm going to be a mother?

Slapping him playfully, I flip us over so that I'm straddling him. Carefully, he places his hand on my not-yet-existent belly and begins to stroke it with a touch of a feather.

"Xav, what if this doesn't work?" I whisper.

"If what doesn't work?" He sits up so that his face is level with mine.

"This, us having a child. What if –"

"We'll be fine, darling. You'll be fine, our beautiful baby will be fine –"
"Xav, you don't understand. A couple of months ago, I … I went to the gynaecologist." I have never told anyone this, not even my mother, so I have to try and slow down my heart before continuing.

"She … you know, took a look at it all and said – she said…" My voice breaks and I scramble to get off Xav's lap, his insistent arms making that quite difficult.

What did she say, Crystal?

"She said that there is a big chance that I won't be able to have kids."

I expected him to be astounded, be shocked, be angry at me for never telling him this but he, being the angel he is, nods and pulls me back in his arms.

"She was wrong, darling. You have a beautiful miracle growing inside of you, Crystal and it's all ours."

God, I didn't know it was possible to be this in love.

"But doesn't this mean that there is an increased chance of … of us losing the baby?"

"As a doctor I can't deny those studies but as a husband and a father, I promise you, we will see the best doctors this world has to offer and we will make sure that our miracle is fine. I'll make an appointment at the hospital tomorrow."

He leans in to give me a kiss but I pull back.

"Can't you just be my doctor through this?" I give him my best pout but he still shakes his head.

"I would not be able to be neutral about it. I'd be far too worried. Besides, I would also know the sex of our baby before you and I know how much you hate it when I know something you don't."

He gives me that irresistible smile and I let myself fall against him again.

"We'll go see a doctor tomorrow. I promise."

Xav pulls me into his lap again and leans down to kiss my stomach.

I love you so much. I don't know who he is saying it to but I know it's true for the both of us.

I love you too.

I wasn't talking to you.

Tough luck, I still love you too.

So, I went with the 'scared' version because almost all of you lovely readers and reviewers wanted that one. Let me just warn you: This pregnancy will definitely not be plain sailing and quite … dramatic so just so you know :)

Please review!