Chapter Three:
Journey to the Past
Standing on Axel's front porch were two very familiar males. The taller male had silver hair, slightly golden skin and light sea green-aquamarine eyes. The person standing next to Riku was only a bit familiar. Axel looked down at a tan skinned, petite teenage male with unruly, spikey brown hair, beautiful ocean blue eyes, cherubic cheeks and pale pink pouted lips. Sora Tenshi offered the dumbstruck redhead a wide, angelic smile.
"Hiya, Axel!" The bubbly brunette chirped, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Is your mother home?"
"Uh..." Axel stared at Riku, a sinking feeling arising in the pit of his stomach, "Yeah." The redhead said, flickering his gaze to Sora. "She's around here somewhere."
"May I come in?"
Axel laughed,"Sure!" and stepped aside, letting the brunette slip by and call for Axel's mother.
"I'm upstairs, Sora, dear!" Came the reply. "I'll be right down."
Sora looked over his shoulder at Riku and Axel and laughed. "Well? Aren't'cha gonna come in, Riku?" The tan skinned male questioned.
"Yeah." Riku set his jaw and looked at Axel. "You gonna be good down here on your own, Sor?" The silver haired teenager asked without breaking eye contact with his childhood best friend's emerald green eyes.
"Yep, 'ku!"
Axel sniggered as the apples of Riku's cheeks pinkened at Sora's shortening of his name. The redheaded noted how protective Riku was of Sora and immediately wished his mother hadn't asked Riku to date his little sister.
"Come on, Riku." Axel said, snapping the silverette back to the present. "Let's go upstairs to my room and catch up."
Riku frowned, but followed Axel out of the hall and up the stairs. "Actually, I think we need to have a nice chat." He growled under his breath, but his friend heard him.
"Ah, lots of people want to chat with me today! I'm so popular!"
Riku scoffed as they entered Axel's room. "You've been home for two days and you have already managed to make a mess."
Axel narrowed his eyes. "How did you know I've only been back here for two days?"
"Kairi." Riku smiled, but it was more of a grimace.
"Speaking of my she-devil sister, why, exactly, are you dating her?"
"Um..." Riku's calm, cool demeanor vanished momentarily, but reappeared seconds later. "We just sort of clicked." Riku's light eyes grew wary. "Why? Do you not approve?" Before Axel could reply, Riku continued, "Because your mom approves." The silver haired male stepped over the piles of clothes and sat on the desk chair.
Axel smirked and leaped over the clothes on the floor and landed on his mattress. "Yeah...about that..I know exactly just how much my mother approves of you and Kairi's relationship." Riku paled and Axel continued, "And I also know that cute little brunette you drove here has you wrapped around his finger and you wouldn't have it any other way." Axel let his childhood friend sweat for a few moments before saying, "And I know you've got a crush on the oldest Tenshi twin."
Riku jumped to his feet, not bothering to care that he was standing on Axel's clean clothes. "Since you know so much, why am I dating your sister, Axel? Hmmm?"
"My mom asked you to." Came the simple reply, but he frowned and began to mock his friend, "And you, being the perfect, upstanding role model that you are; agreed." Axel sighed, running a pale, slender hand through his spiky red hair. "But you can totally break up with her. Date Sora. God only knows you two are destined for each other."
The silverette sighed, running his fingers through his silky, platinum hair. "That can't happen, Axel. Not until your mom gives me the okay."
"What about Sora? Doesn't it hurt to know someone can just come along and snatch that cute little ball of happiness up and steal him away?" Axel pressed.
Riku clenched his hands into fists, locking his jaw in place and gritting his teeth together. His eyes frosted over as he stared down the pyromaniac.
"Don't tell me what to do about Sora. No one is going to take him from me." Riku seethed.
Axel nonchalantly pulled out his lighter, flicked it on and began to play with the flame, making it dance and grow. "You're so selfish, Kokuei. Keeping Sora on the back burner while dating my sister. Tsk, tsk, tsk." The taller of the two shook his head in disappointment.
The silverette growled. "Shut up, Axel. You've got no clue what my life is like. I'm doing this to help out your mother. She already lost her sons, I'm not going to allow her heart to break over losing her daughter." The muscular male stated bitterly.
Axel took his thumb off the cap of the lighter and jumped to his feet. "My mother did not lose her sons. She's not losing her daughter." The paler of the two teenagers snapped.
"Keep telling yourself that, Axel, cause she's trying to grasp onto any piece of her children she can get." Riku smirked bitterly. "Hell, she hasn't even given up hope Reno will come back and we all know he's a lost cause."
The mattress sank as Axel collapsed on his bed. "My family isn't the only fucked up one on this island."
Riku's nostrils flared. "Whatever, Lea, but you could make it easier on your mother."
"Oh, yeah? How?"
"Stay here and convince your mom you'll be back and you won't stay away forever. She needs to know that you'll be back."
"Riku, why the hell do you even care?"
The silverette narrowed his eyes. "Because, Axel, you're my best friend, as are Sora and Roxas." He took a deep breath as Axel flinched at the mentioning of Sora's twin. "And when you left the club last night, you fucking broke Roxas' heart all over again."
"No I fucking didn't!" The malachite eyed teen hissed angrily, "He doesn't want anything to do with me! I didn't break his heart, he broke mine. Three fucking years ago, at the end of the year sleepover we had at your house at the end of our ninth grade year!" Axel yelled.
Riku's face seemed frozen in shock, but after a few tense moments had passed, his features relaxed as he sighed deeply. He rose from the desk chair and walked around the clothes littering the floor before sitting down next to Axel on the redhead's king sized bed.
"Why don't you tell me what actually happened at the sleepover? Because I've been told for three years since the incident happened that 'it's complicated'." The aqua-eyed male smiled faintly. "I think I'm old enough to know the truth now."
The pale teenager scrunched his face up in thought, but after a few seconds of internal debate he broke down. "Alright." He groaned and rubbed his face, "Damnit, this is gonna be a day of revelations, isn't it?"
Riku sent him an icy stare, "Let's go, Axel. No more stalling. We're getting this whole situation out in the open right here, right now. Starting now. Go."
Axel inhaled deeply and flicked on his lighter. The gold box shined like new, but it was nothing like the small, engraved silver lighter he received three years ago, at the beginning of his freshman year at Destiny Preparatory. Axel lost the lighter at that fateful sleepover. That lighter was special, unlike the one he held now, just like the person who gave him the thoughtful gift. Roxas.
With the blonde on his mind, Axel opened his mouth and began to tell Riku exactly what had happened three years ago...
"Bye, mom! I'm going to the sleepover at Riku's! Bye, Kairi!" Axel shouted, hoisting his duffel bag onto his shoulder and tucking his sleeping bag and pillow under his other arm.
"Awww! I wanna go, too!" Kairi pouted. "Please can I go with you?" The twelve year old girl begged.
"No." Axel said, shuddering at how horrible the sleepover would be if Kairi tagged along. "Why do you want to go, anyway?"
Kairi giggled, "Because, fire fingers, Riku's hot."
Axel glared at his sister. "Whoa! No crushing on my friends, Kairi. That's just disgusting! Go play with your dolls or something girly and innocent. No thinking about boys being hot or whatever until...well, until I leave for college."
The magenta haired pre-teen glared at her brother, "Mom! Axel's being mean and bossy again!"
"Will you two cut it out?" Karla Lea shouted back at her children. "Axel, go to your sleepover. Kairi, go get ready for bed."
"Later, short stuff."
"Later, fire crotch!" Kairi shot back.
Axel smirked before shouting, "Bye mom!" He bent down and pecked Kairi on the cheek.
"Bye Axel! Tell Riku I said hi!" She told him.
The fourteen year old boy rolled his acid green eyes. "How about no?"
"Axel, if you don't leave soon it'll get darker and then you're not going to Riku's at all." The Lea siblings mother called out.
"Sheesh! I'm going, I'm going! You don't need to kick me out, woman!" Axel replied with a laugh as he left the house, slamming the door shut and letting the screen door bang as he jogged down the porch steps and through his yard, making his way to Riku's house.
Axel pulled out the silver lighter his favorite blonde gave to him at the beginning of the year. The redhead flipped the lid open and pushed down, letting the flame rise and and flicker as the salty sea air swept up the street. Axel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. Riku's house was a decent twenty minute walk from Axel's modest, pale baby blue two story house, so the teenager had plenty of time to plan out how he would confess to Roxas how he really felt about the petite blonde.
The pyromaniac had been in love with the blonde Tenshi twin since they were young. Karla, Raina Tenshi and Jenova Kokuei were best friends and would go to each other's houses and their children would all play together. Riku's older brothers, Sephiroth, and the triplets: Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj, would play with Sora and Roxas' older half-brothers, Leon and Cloud, and Reno would tag along, wanting to be a big kid. Riku, Axel, Sora and Roxas always broke off into their own little group, away from the other boys, Kairi and Riku's little sister, Paine.
As they grew older, the world showed the young, innocent children it's ugly face. The Tenshi twin's mother committed suicide, leaving them orphans. Riku's father and Loz died in a car accident. Axel's parents divorced and Reno left with their father. Yet somehow, they all stayed close and tight, leaning on each other as the world continued to show them no mercy.
However, life for the island natives was looking up. Leon and Cloud were both hard workers and made sure their broken family was making enough money to live comfortably without Roxas and Sora feeling the need to get odd jobs to pay for their keep. Riku's mother, Jenova, had moved on from grieving for her husband and son and was thankful for everyday spent with her remaining children. Karla had stopped blaming herself for the divorce and focused on sending Reno letters, calling him and spending time with Axel and Kairi. Change was in the air.
The sudden burst of good fortune was the icing on the cake for Axel. He would ride this wave of good luck and finally tell Roxas how he felt about the younger boy.
Ten minutes later, Axel was walking up the driveway of Riku's island home. The Kokuei family was extremely wealthy and owned a sprawling seaside mansion that was a common attraction to the tourists. The three story mansion boasted two living rooms, a state of the art kitchen, a spectacular dining room, a sun room, an indoor pool, a basement that had been converted into a game room, four offices, a small library, twelve bedrooms, fourteen bathrooms, a master bedroom and an attic. Each bedroom had it's own private bathroom and a balcony. Riku's room was on the second floor and his balcony overlooked the sea surrounding the island.
Axel jogged up the white stone steps to the Kokuei's veranda. The redhead raised a thin, pale hand and firmly pressed the doorbell. He could faintly hear Jenova's favorite song, Sanctuary by Hikari Utada, echoing throughout the house through the heavy wooden doors. Axel slipped his lighter in his pocket as one of Riku's man servants opened the door.
"May I help you, sir?" The Kokuei family's oldest and most loyal servant, Iroh, asked.
Axel smiled at the well-dressed heavyset man. "Yep! Tell Riku that Axel is here to get this party started!"
Iroh nodded. "Ah, Master Axel, Master Riku was waiting for you. Follow me." The manservant turned on the polished black heel of his shoes and stepped out of the way, allowing Axel to slip by. Iroh shut the door and began to lead Axel through the grand hallway and up the gleaming marble stairs.
"Ya know, Iroh," Axel smiled at the rhyme. "I've been to this house a million times, I know where Riku's room is, so I'm positive you don't need to walk me there." Iroh shot the redheaded teen a look and Axel backtracked, "But you leading me around is cool, too. Especially when you call me 'Master'." Axel winked.
Iroh sighed politely. "Master Axel," The faithful servant ignored the younger male's wide grin, "Mistress Jenova has asked me to warn you that if you set fire to anything tonight, she will light your hide. Quite literally." Finally, the ancient man cracked a smile.
"Excellent!" Axel followed his elder through the house. "You know, fire doesn't hurt me. I can almost control it. I think it's a special gift or something, but it might just be because-"
A voice cut off the redhead, "Because your head is full of so much hot air that you are extremely flammable?"
"Master Riku," Iroh addressed the speaker and bowed. "Master Axel has arrived."
Axel muttered, "No shit." as Riku responded in a polite and refined voice, "Yes, thank you, Iroh. Please continue your duties. Send up Sora and Roxas Tenshi when they arrive."
Iroh bowed again. "As you wish, Master Riku." And with that, the ancient and dutiful servant took his leave.
Once the gray haired man was out of earshot, the redheaded teenager turned to his silver haired friend. "That dude is fun to mess with." He shook his head and laughed as he pushed past Riku and entered the youngest Kokuei male's room.
Riku shut his door and followed Axel. "My mom isn't home right now because she's taking Paine to some mother-daughter bonding class." He smirked. "Apparently, my mother can't stand that her only daughter wears only black."
Axel raised a thin red eyebrow. "I don't mind the black, I just can't stand your sister's red eyes." He shuddered. "They're creepy."
Riku shrugged. "You get used to them, I guess. You know they're only contacts though, right? Her eyes are the same color as my brothers."
"Really?" The other teen nodded. "Huh." Axel frowned. "So, when will they be back?"
"I don't know. It's some weekend retreat thing." Riku smiled. "So I've got the house to myself all weekend."
"Awesome!" The two best friends high-fived and laughed.
A timid knock on Riku's bedroom door interrupted the two teenagers. Two heads turned to face the closed door.
"Who is it?" The silverette called.
"Sora and Roxas!" Was the muffled response.
"Get out!" Axel shouted.
Roxas opened the door and threw his sleeping bag and duffel bag at Axel's face, knocking the redhead over. "Make me." The blonde taunted.
Sora squealed as Axel jumped to his feet and went after Roxas, chasing the younger boy around the youngest Kokuei heir's pristine, spacious room. The chase continued as the oldest of the twins sat down on Riku's bed, smiling when the silverette joined him. They watched as Axel quickly caught up to Roxas and picked the smaller teen up and threw him over his shoulder, walking back to where Riku and Sora sat safely on the bed, before tossing him on top of the two males.
"Axel, you're an asshole." Riku stated plaintively as Roxas and Sora untangled their limbs and Axel laughed.
"I know." The redhead smiled, unfazed, and rubbed the palms of his hands together. "So, now that the gang's all here...let's get started!"
The group immediately rushed downstairs to the kitchen. Sora began to rummage through the fridge, even though the groceries the head cook, Jin, had bought specifically for their sleepover were right in front, Sora still felt the need to look through Riku's huge fridge. Meanwhile, Roxas began pulling bowls out of the cupboards as Axel grabbed several bags of popcorn and began to heat them using his lighter and some very impressive hand motions and within a few minutes all the bags were full of freshly popped popcorn. Riku helped Sora while Axel and Roxas poured the chips and popcorn into bowls.
"You burned some." The blonde Tenshi deadpanned, picking out some of the black pieces of popcorn and throwing them in the garbage.
Axel frowned. "I'm not a freaking fire expert, Roxas. I'm teaching myself without any training. Cut me some slack."
Roxas nodded, his lips pressed together tightly. Only himself, Riku and Sora knew how touchy Axel was when it came to his fire powers. He was serious about mastering them, but too free-spirited to actually nail the discipline and focus required to become a master of fire.
Sora and Riku shared a smile, their thoughts mirroring Roxas' as they grabbed their supplies. Once the necessary ingredients were gathered, Sora set to work making his special dip while Riku and Axel grabbed drinks for everyone. The mini-fridge in Riku's room was well stocked, but growing teenage boys need their sustenance! After the dip was done, the boys juggled bowls of popcorn and chips and cans of pop as they walked all the way up to Riku's room on the second floor. Riku led the way and Iroh brought up the caboose, carefully carrying the bowl filled with Sora's special dip.
"Thanks, Iroh. That will be all." The Kokuei heir thanked his family's servant.
"As you wish, Master Riku." Iroh bowed and left the foursome to their sleepover.
Riku thanked the man again and shut the door. He turned to face his friends and his usually placid expression broke out into a wide smile. "Let's celebrate the ending of our Year of Hell and the start of Roxas and Sora's Year of Hell!" He yelled, popping the tab open on a can of Mountain Dew and raising it in the air in a toast.
Axel quickly opened his own can of pop and clinked his can to Riku's and swigged the highly caffeinated and sugary drink while Sora and Roxas groaned, but their attempt to sound upset was halfhearted. They were all looking forward to finally be together in the same building again.
Axel set down his drink and tossed a couple to the twins. "Drink up, shorties. It's tradition."
Sora and Roxas rolled their eyes in unison, but did as the redhead said.
"Let the coming-of-freshman movie watching commence!" Riku told the group as he walked over to the left side of his room, where the entertainment system covered the entire wall.
Riku had a five by four foot high definition television attached to the wall with every game system ever created with surround sound as the icing on the cake. The youngest Kokuei heir owned almost five hundred games, more than five hundred DVDs and an impressive collection of VHS tapes, most of them were original Disney movies. Axel pulled a black bean bag chair with red flames out of a corner of the room and placed it in front of the TV. Roxas and Sora grabbed their own bean bag chairs. Roxas' bag was black with Jack Skellington's face on it, which the blonde promptly sat on. Sora's bag had Mickey Mouse on it and other Disney characters. Riku turned on his self-filling air mattress and left it to inflate while he grabbed his black bean bag chair with dark purple swirls and sat down.
Axel hit 'play' on the remote while Sora turned on the TV and, without getting up, Riku shut off the lights. The others didn't blink an eye; they knew about Riku's control on the darkness, which was rivaled by Sora's unique power of the light. Roxas kept his power a secret, one that only his twin and half-brothers knew.
Five hours of non-stop movie watching later, Sora and Riku were asleep, leaving Axel and Roxas the only ones awake. Sora had fallen asleep first and Riku had picked the younger male up and carried him to his bed, ignoring the brunette's sleeping bag and had carefully tucked him into his bed. Half an hour later, Riku joined Sora and the two were asleep.
Axel shut off the TV, letting his glowing emerald eyes adjust to the darkness in the eerie quiet that the powered off TV left in its wake. He yawned and stretched his long arms over his head, his shirt rising in the process. He saw glowing blue orbs glint in the moonlight sifting into the room through the parted curtains hanging over the French balcony doors.
"Like what you see?" The redhead asked, his tone light and teasing, a smile playing on his lips.
"Wasn't looking, sorry." Roxas responded quickly and, to Axel's disappointment, truthfully.
Axel scoffed, "Psh, yeah right." And watched as Roxas grabbed his sleeping bag and duffel bag before walking over to the air mattress and dropped his rolled up sleeping bag onto it unceremoniously.
"I'm going to go change and brush my teeth." Roxas announced in a neutral tone and gestured to his bag.
The older male nodded, then realized that Roxas probably couldn't see him in the dim moonlight. Axel stood up and walked over to the doors leading to Riku's balcony and reached for the cord that looked like it was spun of gold and pulled on it. The heavy velvet curtains parted and bright moonlight filled the room. Axel turned to face the younger Tenshi twin and inhaled sharply under his breath.
The young blonde looked like an angel. Unlike his twin, Roxas' skin was a sunny-gold tone, which seemed to glow in the silvery light of the moon. His spikey blonde hair looked darker without the sun or fluorescent light bulbs that usually gave his hair a sunshine-y gleam. Roxas' eyes were easily one of his best features; the big orbs were a beautiful, bright ocean blue that sparkled when the blonde was especially emotional. Everytime Axel looked into those deep blue pools he felt every good emotion and experience he's ever had happen all at once. He felt free and happy and...like he lived in a world where only he and Roxas existed.
"Axel? Hell-o? Earth to Axel!" Roxas snapped in aggravation.
"What shorty?" The redhead asked, rubbing his head in embarrassment as he tried to focus on the blonde in front of him.
Roxas bit his bottom lip innocently. "Are you coming to bed?" At Roxas' words, Axel shivered. The naïve boy had no idea how provocative his words sounded to the older male's ears.
"What about changing and brushing your teeth?"
"It can wait. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Why?" Axel smiled inwardly as he managed to stop his pounding heart from affecting his speech.
"I just wondered." The blonde said softly, "You looked like you were a million miles away and you were staring at me like...I don't know. It was kinda weird and scary."
"Oh, sorry about that. I was just thinking." Axel reassured the smaller male.
Roxas' lips turned up into a smirk and his eyes twinkled. "What have I told you about thinking?" He teased.
Axel rolled his eyes and huffed as he walked away from the window and approached his friend. "You've got a smart mouth, Roxas. You might wanna use mouthwash when you brush your teeth."
Roxas fixed the green eyed male with a glare and folded his arms over his chest, dropping his duffel bag in the process. "You're not Cloud and I do not have to brush my teeth or mouthwash if I don't want to."
His friend shrugged and laughed as he began to unroll his own sleeping bag.
The soon-to-be high school freshman frowned as he observed his best friend. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Axel froze for a split second and slowly took a deep breath and let it out before turning to face the shorter teen. It was now or never. "Actually, um, no, Roxy. I want to talk to you."
"Okay." The blonde cocked his head to the side. "About what?"
"Um..." Axel inhaled once again as anxiety flooded his bloodstream and his mind raced. How was he going to tell Roxas he loved him? A few moments passed before Axel smiled. "Let's go out on the balcony. I don't want to wake up Riku and Sora."
"Alright." The blonde shrugged and led the way onto the terrace. Once he reached the stone railing, Roxas turned to face Axel and looked at the older teen, his eyes glowing with curiosity. "Are you coming?"
The pyro nodded. "Yeah, hang on. I have to grab something real quick." He turned his back to the blonde and shuffled through his duffel bag until he found what he was looking for. He put the Listerine spearmint breath strip on his tongue and made a face when his eyes watered slightly.
"Axel, come out here. The moon is so freaking huge tonight." Roxas whispered softly.
Axel shoved the packet back into his bag and zipped it shut before joining the blonde male on the balcony, making sure to close the double French doors behind him.
"Whoa, it is really big tonight." Axel commented with a smile. "I love it when the moon is full and bright, don't you?"
"Yeah. And look how bright the beach is with the moonlight lighting it up."
"Yeah."
It was quiet for a few seconds while Roxas continued to stare at the moon and the beach while Axel's gaze switched from watching the waves crash and looking at Roxas as he tried to gather up his courage.
Axel jumped when Roxas suddenly spoke.
"What did you want to tell me?" The blue eyed boy examined his friend. "You're jumpy tonight. What's up?
Axel's words got stuck in his throat as he looked at Roxas. His tan skin looked lighter in the moonlight and his eyes sparkled silvery-blue. Curiosity shone bright in those eyes and his head was cocked to the side and the moonlight made the tips of his hair look platinum blonde. His long eyelashes brushed against his cheeks when he blinked and he parted his pink petal-shaped lips to sigh deeply. Roxas looked absolutely angelic and Axel was speechless.
"Are you feeling okay Axel? Your eyes look kinda glassy."
The tall, pale teen shook his head and swallowed hard, his mind racing. I can't do this. I don't even know if Roxas likes me as more than a friend. Axel paled before flushing red. Hell, I don't even know if he's gay! This could ruin our friendship forever. I can't do this.
Roxas bit his bottom lip and moved closer to the redhead. When Axel didn't react Roxas stood on the tips of his toes and pressed the back of his hand to Axel's forehead.
"You feel kinda warm." Roxas retracted his hand and lowered himself. "I'll go see if Iroh has something for you." Roxas began to pull away and Axel finally reacted.
Before either boy knew what was happening, Axel's hands were gripping the sides of Roxas' head and pulled the petite blonde toward him and smashed their faces together, bumping noses. Axel tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips to Roxas'. When Roxas didn't protest or push him away, Axel's eyes slid shut and he began to move his lips against the frozen boy's lips.
Axel slipped one hand down Roxas' side and fisted his shirt in his hand and slid his long fingers through the blonde's spikey locks. He parted his lips to flick his tongue against Roxas' lips, but didn't get a response. The redhead stilled his motions and opened his eyes and stared straight into Roxas' wide blue eyes.
Roxas remained immobile as Axel pulled away slowly and examined the blonde. Roxas' arms were half lifted, reaching out, but not gripping anything and he didn't lower them. He was leaning back and the side of his shirt was wrinkled. Roxas lips were still in a concerned frown and covered in Axel's saliva.
"Roxas?" The green eyed boy huffed shakily.
The blonde shook his head slowly and lowered his arms. He smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt and wiped off his lips with shaking hands.
Axel's voice cracked as fear filled his body. "Roxas, say something."
Roxas finally looked up at him, his dark blue eyes dark and dangerous. His full cheeks were pink and his lips still shined a little in the moonlight. "Why did you do that?" His soft voice gave away how insecure he truly felt. Axel had to step closer just to hear him and Roxas took a step back and held his hands up in front of him defensively.
Axel retreated and took a deep breath as he tried to gain control of his emotions. He had no answer for Roxas. He hadn't thought, 'Oh, I'm going to kiss my best friend now and possibly ruin our friendship forever'. He'd just, well, acted without thinking. It'd been spontaneous. So spontaneous, Axel hadn't even known he was going to do it.
"Why did you kiss me Axel?
"I-I-" Axel stuttered.
"Are you gay?"
Axel gaped at the younger boy. Was I that obvious? Had he known the whole time and never said anything? Axel paled. Had everyone known? Oh my God, if that's true then there's no point in denying it now.
"Ye-yeah."
"Okay." Roxas ran his fingers through his hair and winced when he tugged on a knot. "So you're gay. And you kissed me."
Axel nodded, feeling stupider by the second. Or is it more stupid? Whatever, either way I feel like an idiot.
Roxas frowned and tugged at the tangle. "Why? Did you wanna know what it felt like?"
"Did I want to know what it felt like to kiss my best friend?"
The short boy shrugged. "I was gonna say 'kiss a guy', but whatever. Yeah. Did you?"
"No." Axel shook his head and turned his eyes back to the beach. "I would've asked you first."
"Then why didn't you?" Roxas sighed in exasperation and gave up on his hair and crossed his arms over his chest.
"I don't know!" Axel's voice rose in pitch as he grew more nervous, still not looking at the boy. "I just...did, okay?"
"No, it's not okay! You kissed me, Axel! Kissed me!" Roxas' voice squeaked and Axel finally looked at him.
Color filled Roxas' face, his blonde hair was even more spikey and his blue eyes were begging him for an answer. He looked devastated. Axel had to close his eyes and turn away from the short male. He had caused his best friend to become so crazed. It was all his fault. He should've just kept his emotions and lips to himself.
"Just tell me why." Roxas' voice was barely above a whisper, but his voice still cracked on the last word.
"I can't tell you why." Axel covered his face with his hands. "You'll hate me forever."
"No I won't. Just tell me." Roxas begged and Axel felt hands wrapping around his wrists and tugging.
"No, you really will hate me. Or you won't hate me, but we won't be friends anymore."
"I promise you that I won't hate you and we'll still be friends. Just tell me."
Axel gave in to Roxas' insistent tugs on his arms and uncovered his face. "No Roxas. Drop it."
"No. I thought we were friends and told each other everything. I didn't even know you were gay! What kind of best friend keeps that from his friend?" Roxas demanded.
"The kind who doesn't want to be rejected and abandoned by his friends!" Axel spat. "And I thought you knew I was gay, or at least suspected it. I wouldn't have told you if I knew that you didn't even have a clue."
Roxas took a step back and folded his arms over his chest. "So you wouldn't have told me the truth if you thought I didn't know?" The blonde shook his head and continued, drawling bitterly, "Wow. That says a whole lot about how close we are."
"Please, like you tell me everything." Axel scoffed. "I'm sure there's stuff you're keeping from me."
Roxas flushed and bit his lip, deep in thought. Axel exhaled and rubbed his hand over his face. This was so not how he planned his night would go.
"Alright, I'll tell you one of my secrets if you tell me why you kissed me."
Axel rolled his eyes. "No way. If it's something stupid like you still sleep with a nightlight, no deal." He narrowed his eyes at the younger boy. "It's gotta be good. Take-it-to-the-grave good."
"Trust me, it is." Roxas cracked a small smile. "And Sora still sleeps with a nightlight."
"That doesn't surprise me." The redhead snorted.
"Alright, so, why did you kiss me?" Roxas looked so hopeful and a little excited.
He really cares about why I kissed him. If he knew the truth he'd be so disappointed. Or disgusted. Axel shook his head to clear his thoughts. He deserves to know the truth. Then at least he'd know and I would deal with it, whether we'd still be friends or not.
"Uh, I was dared to kiss you, but I wasn't allowed to tell you about the dare." Axel felt like slapping himself. Way to go for the truth, dumbass.
Roxas' face fell and he clenched his eyes shut and hugged himself tightly. His lips were pressed together and his eyebrows were scrunched up.
"Rox, you alright?"
Roxas nodded, but didn't relax.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it was part of the dare." Axel shrugged calmly, but inside his heart was pounding and his blood rushed through him. He couldn't believe what a coward he was, but he couldn't take back his words now.
"I know." Roxas sighed and his arms fell limply to his sides and he raised his head and opened his eyes. "Thanks for telling me, Ax."
"No problem. You know I don't go back on dares." Axel smiled brightly, but it felt fake. "So, just so I don't feel like an ass, was that your first kiss?"
Roxas paused for a brief second before shaking his head.
Axel swore the world stopped turning. His heart dropped and his chest hurt where his heart use to be.
"Oh. So you've been holding out on me." He knew his voice was pitchy and his teasing tone sounded fake. "So, who was the lucky girl?"
"Wasn't a girl." Roxas admitted, a light pink color dusted his cheeks. "Hayner was my first kiss."
"Hang on, you're gay?"
Roxas ducked his head and nodded. "I wasn't sure, though. So I wanted to try with someone I trusted and-"
"And you thought of Hayner?" The redhead spat and he threw his arms into the air. "You trusted your first kiss to Hayner!"
Roxas shot him a look. "Yes, Hayner." He narrowed his eyes coldly. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Why? Why? Because I thought we were best friends, Roxas! Trusting each other with everything!" He chuckled darkly. "You're such a hypocrite. Giving me shit about keeping secrets when you never even told me you were gay and kissed Hayner."
"It's not like that!" The blonde shouted. "I kissed Hayner to see if I really was gay. And I asked him because if he refused and was grossed out and we stopped being friends I could deal with it. I considered you, Axel, but I didn't want to lose our friendship."
"Oh."
"Yeah. 'Oh'." Roxas scoffed. "But if I knew all I had to do was dare you to kiss me, I would have."
"All you had to do was ask."
"Yeah, right."
Axel rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm serious, Roxas."
"Whatever. I want to know why you're making such a big deal about me kissing Hayner. It is because I'm gay, cause then you're the hypocrite."
"I'm not a hypocrite. I'm just- jealous."
Roxas stopped, his mouth open in shock. "Jealous? Of what?"
"Who, really." Axel corrected before sighing, "Hayner."
"Why?"
"He was your first kiss and you trusted him with it more than you trusted me."
"Axel, hang on, I just-"
The redhead ignored him and continued, "And that's not all. I wanted to be your first kiss, Roxas. I want to be your first everything." He glanced at the blonde. "Cause you were mine."
"What?" The younger of the two breathed. He no longer looked pissed off and betrayed, he just looked shocked. And maybe curious.
Axel felt his hopes rising and he mentally thanked whatever gods there were for giving him a second chance.
"I lied about kissing you on a dare. I was- I was planning on telling you tonight. I wasn't planning on kissing you. Not really. I planned on confessing. And if things went well, I wouldn't have turned down a kiss."
"What are you talking about Axel?"
Axel grabbed Roxas by the shoulders and pulled him until their noses were almost touching. "Nobody dared me to kiss you. I just reacted without thinking." He sighed before continuing. "That was my first kiss." Roxas gasped and his jaw dropped. "I just told you it was a dare so you wouldn't hate me. Or be weirded out or something."
"But why would you lie to me?"
"So you wouldn't hate me. I just said that."
"Axel...do you...like me?"
The taller boy laughed. "I think I'm pretty much in love with you, Roxas."
Roxas shook his head and squirmed in Axel's grip. "Let go, Axel."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
Axel let go and stood back. "So now you know everything."
Roxas shook his head. "No. I don't know why you wouldn't just tell me, Axel. Why did you lie? I don't understand."
"Because sometimes, lying is easier than telling the truth."
"It doesn't matter when telling a lie costs so much."
Axel frowned. "What do you mean?"
Roxas looked him in the eyes and said, "You lied to me, Axel." The redhead opened his mouth to retort, but Roxas cut him off. "And I need time to think about what you said."
"Are you, like, breaking up with me?"
Roxas smiled sadly. "I can't break up with you cause we were never going out."
Axel ignored the smile. "So...what? We're just not gonna be friends anymore?"
"No, we're just putting our friendship on hold."
"For how long?" Axel knew his tone was sharp and harsh, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
Roxas shrugged. "As long as it takes."
Axel gritted his teeth. "As long as it takes for what, Roxas?" He hissed.
"For me to come to terms that my best friend is gay, in love with me, kissed me, lied about it and expects life to just bend to his will. And as long as it takes for me to trust you again."
"Fine." Axel turned away from the blonde, opened the door and walked into Riku's room and began to pick up his things.
"What are you doing?"
"Leaving?"
"Why?"
Axel shouldered his duffel bag and cradled his sleeping bag in his arm. "Because you need space and time to think and I'm a good enough ex-friend to give that to you." He stood up. "Whether you want it or not."
"But- you can't leave!" Roxas whispered loudly when Axel closed his hand around the doorknob.
"Why not?"
"Because this sleepover is tradition! You have to stay!"
Axel turned the knob. "Fuck tradition." He pushed open the door, but paused for a split-second and added, "Fuck our friendship. Fuck Hayner and most of all, fuck you." And without another word he walked out the room and shut the door quietly behind himself, already wishing he could do tonight over, or at least take back every word he told Roxas.
Riku was silent the whole time while Axel spoke. His face had remained stoic for the most part and he had listened intently. Now, though, the silence was beginning to make Axel nervous.
"Say something." He croaked, his voice hoarse.
"I- shit, I don't know what to say."
"That's a first." Axel teased him and attempted to smile, but it was more of grimace.
Riku ran his fingers through his hair. "I kind of want to yell at you, but I'm sure you know you fucked everything up." Axel scowled, but gave a short nod. "And I want to know what you were thinking, but you said that you weren't thinking." Another nod. "So I guess all I have to say is, what happens now?"
"I have no fuckin' clue." Axel groaned and covered his face with his pillow and put his head in his lap.
Riku patted his friend's back sympathetically and tried to think of a way to make things right again. His eyes scanned the room and when they landed on Axel's guitar leaning against the wall, he smiled.
"Hey, Axel, I have an idea."
"What?"
"We write a song."
ARARAR
Happy Akuroku Day! Thanks for reading, everyone!
Please review! I really want to know what you think! Thank you!
By the way, this name of this chapter is one of the songs from the Anastasia soundtrack.