Chapter Four:

About You Now

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. And don't give me that look." Riku said sternly as he smacked Axel on the back and rolled off the bed and walked over to the desk and began opening and closing the drawers. "You know that you always feel better when you get it off your chest and you're not the best at voicing your feelings, but you write damn good music when you've got something to say, so we're going to write it out. Right here and now.

Axel stared at the silver haired teenager with his mouth open in surprise. He and Riku were friends, but after he took off they had drifted apart. Of course, when he visited every summer they had hung out, Riku didn't judge him for taking off because he was fair enough to listen to both sides of the story. But now Axel felt like he did in his childhood. Like no matter what he said or did, Riku would be there beside him, backing him up. Axel hadn't realized how much he'd missed this friendship and how much he needed it.

"Paper is in the third drawer down, pens are in the cup." He said breathily. If Riku wanted to be there for him after all the shit he went through, then he wasn't going to make it harder on the silverette.

Riku grunted his appreciation, grabbed the paper and pens before making his way back to the king sized bed. The green-aqua eyed teenager sat down next to Axel and shoved the supplies into the redhead's chest.

Axel blinked and stared down at the pens and blank sheets of paper scattered across his upper body.

"It's not going to write itself, Axel." Riku remarked, picking up a sheet of paper and waving it in front of the redhead's face. "You're actually going to have to put some effort into this."

"I know," Axel picked up a pen and sighed. "It's just- ugh. I don't know what to write." He admitted.

Riku's aqua eyes narrowed. "I'm sure there's something you want Roxas to know. Something you want to say, or change or something."

Axel flipped the pen around between his fingers. "I would take it all back if I could and do it over. Cause now I'm stuck here and feel like the walls are closing in." He closed his eyes and laid down on his bed. "I've made a huge mess and I want to make it right. If I don't do something now I don't think I'll ever get a second chance."

Riku smiled at the pale teenager. "Good. Now write it out."

Two hours later Axel was staring at the lyrics in his hand while Riku scribbled out the sheet music.

"I think this'll be good with just you singing, guitar and drums."

"Alright. I can handle the singing and guitar, but you know I'm a jackshit drummer."

"I know." Riku smirked and capped his pen. "That's why I'll be drumming."

Axel nodded. "Thanks, Riku." He rubbed his face and cracked his neck. "You're fucking awesome."

"I-" Riku was cut off by someone knocking on Axel's door.

"Who is it?"

"Sorrrr-aaaaa!"

Axel threw Riku a huge smile and a wink. "Cooooooooommmeeee iiiiiinnnnnnn!" He answered in the same sing-song voice.

The door flew open and Sora bounced into the room. "Hey guys!" He waved and approached the bed. "Whatcha guys doin'?"

Riku gathered up the music and began to organize them. "Going over song samples."

Sora rolled his eyes. "That's all anybody on this island ever does. Cloud and Leon are always rehearsing when they're done with work, Roxy hardly leaves his room and when he does, his iPod earbuds are, like, glued to his ears." Axel stifled a laugh, but Sora heard and turned to him and pointed his finger.

"You think I'm joking, but I tried to take them out cause I wanted to talk to him, but they wouldn't come out. And I pulled hard, too."

Axel held up his hands in surrender. "I just thought it was funny."

Sora glared, but continued his complaining. "Kairi is never around anymore, cause she's either practicing or out with Riku." He turned to the silver haired teenager. "And you! You're suppose to be my best friend, but you're never around! You're always off at the recording studio, or with Kairi, or out somewhere." The brunette pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. "You all suck."

"Awww, Sora." Axel cooed. "Are you feeling left out?"

The brunette nodded enthusiastically, still pouting pathetically.

Riku sighed. "I'm sorry Sora. I'll try to make time to hang out with you, but I'm trying to get my solo CD finished for the record label, and get the Drowning in Shadow's CD done, too. And you know I'm going off to college at the end of summer, so I need to get ready for that and-"

"Okay!" The tan skinned teenager shouted. "I know how busy you are, Riku! Too busy writing and making music, too busy with your girlfriend and school. Too busy for your best friend who feels like once you're gone you're never going to come back! Just like how Roxas felt when Axel left!"

Sora glanced at Axel briefly. "No offense."

Axel's jaw dropped open in surprise, but neither of his friends noticed. Riku was staring at Sora with guilt glittering in his blue-sea green eyes and Sora had already turned back to Riku to continue his rant.

"I felt like a third wheel all school year and I thought this summer we would hang out like we use to. We didn't even have our end of school sleepover!" Tears began to form in Sora's eyes. "And it's my last year of school, Riku. We had a huge party for you and a sleepover when you were a senior." The seventeen year old choked on a sob. "So much for being best friends forever." Sora didn't wait for an explanation and ran from the room.

"Well, fuck." Axel muttered after the front door slammed shut downstairs. "We are really good at pissing off the Tenshi twins, huh?"

"Shut up, Axel." Riku snapped as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Sora is absolutely right. I have been neglecting him all year long and I haven't been paying him attention recently." He groaned. "I've just had so much going on and things needed to be done and deadlines have been creeping closer and I just – ugh, fuck." Riku fell back onto Axel's mattress and closed his eyes and covered his head with a pillow.

Axel moved off the bed and rummaged around his desk. After he found what he was looking for he sat back down on the bed and tore the pillow out of Riku's hands.

Aqua-teal eyes glared at him, but Axel only smiled and thrusted a stack of papers against Riku's chest. "Write what you feel." He shrugged. "Maybe it'll do some good."

Riku glared at the papers. "Music is what got me into this mess." He pushed the papers off of him and they fluttered to the floor. "I want nothing to do with it."

Axel rolled his eyes and pushed his friend off the bed. "Stop being a drama queen. Music is what got you into this mess and music is what will get you out of it." He stretched out on the bed. "Besides, you can't swear off music after you just promised to play the drums for me."

Riku growled as he got to his knees and began to pick the discarded papers off of the already messy floor. "Fine. But you're helping me with my song."

The redhead smiled and sat up against the headboard. "Naturally." He patted the empty space next to him. "Now park your ass so we can get to work on explaining to Sora why music is so important to you."

"This is going to sound cheesy, but Sora is my inspiration when I feel stuck and in the dark." Riku's cheek turned light pink. "He's my inspiration."

Axel smiled. "I know what you mean and when you're finished with this song, Sora will know, too."

SRAR

"Hello?"

"Where the hell have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" Axel had to hold the phone away from his ear as Demyx yelled.

"Dem, I-"

"I mean, fuck, you tell me and the guys to show up at some club I've never even heard of or been to and tell me to get the guys ready to perform and when we show up, we stand around waiting to go on just for you to bail on us when it's time for us to go on. I mean, who the fuck does that? What kind of friend does that to someone?"

Axel groaned and covered his face with his hand as he collapsed into the cushions. "I know, Dem. I've fucked up royally and I deserve to bitched out for it, but I didn't plan on doing that to you guys."

"Then why'd you do it?" Demyx seemed to have calmed down and willing to let Axel explain himself.

"I saw someone that I screwed over and I couldn't deal with a confrontation and I ran."

"Who?" Demyx asked, curious. "You seemed buddy-buddy with that silver haired guy with the nice ass- ouch! Damnit Zexion! I was only stating a fac- hey!"

Axel chuckled lowly as he switched the phone to his other ear. "Nah, it wasn't Riku. It was someone else." He sighed. "Why don't you guys come over and I'll explain everything. Zex knows where I live."

"Alright. We'll be there in like an hour, alright?"

"Sure. See ya."

"Later, Flurry. Stay hot."

Axel laughed. "Stay cool." He hung up and leaned his head back.

"HEY MOM!"

"HEY WHAT?"

"CAN YOU COME DOWN HERE?"

"WHY?"

"IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU ASKED ME THE OTHER NIGHT!"

"WHAT DID I ASK YOU ABOUT?"

"JUST GET DOWN HERE, GOD!"

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME! THAT'S NOT MY NAME! THAT'S NOT MY- NAME! THEY CALL ME-!" Axel groaned loudly as his mother sang off-key.

"OH MY GOD, GET DOWN HERE!"

"COMING!"

Axel got off the couch and walked toward the kitchen for a glass of water. He had to tell his friends and his mom what he told Riku this morning and his throat was already sore enough from before and from yelling to his mom.

"At this rate Roxas will never know how I feel cause I'm going to lose my voice and won't be able to sing." He croaked as he unscrewed the cap of a water bottle.

"God has arrived!" Karla announced as she bounded into the living room. "Now where is my devil incarnate?"

"Kitchen." Axel gasped as he inhaled quickly before guzzling more water.

"Ah, the room of holy bread."

Axel rolled his eyes and tossed the empty water bottle into the recycling bin by the door frame.

"Two points!" Ms. Lea cheered. "And who says all tall people aren't meant to play basketball?"

"Mom, no one says that."

"Psh, what idiots. So, spill."

Axel glanced at the clock. "We're waiting for my friends. It's a long story."

Karla pouted. "Buzz kill."

"God, mother, act your age, please!"

Karla made a face. "But forty-three is such an unattractive age. Now, twenty-three...that was a good age." She smiled fondly as she reminisced. "I wasn't as big as a hot air balloon, pregnant with twins, I didn't have children who drove me crazy...ah, those were the days."

"Thanks mom, way to make me feel loved and wanted."

"Oh, stop it." Karla playfully pushed her son. "I'm only joking. Sort of."

Axel shook his head and grabbed another water bottle from the fridge. "Do we have any throat lozenges? I don't want to lose my voice."

Karla pointed to the cabinet over the fridge. "Check up there. I know we have throat spray, but you're not suppose to use that unless your throat is already sore." She sat down on a stool at the kitchen island. "So why don't you want to lose your voice?"

"I'll explain later." Axel shuffled around the various boxes, pill bottles, sprays and packets in the cabinet. "Damn, we're out." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm going to run to the store real quick. I'll be back in ten minutes."

"Make it twenty, you're walking!" Karla called as her son jogged into the living room.

"Whaaat?" Axel whined. "Whyyy?"

"Because you're so pale. People are going to think you're a tourist."

Axel wrinkled his nose and shoved his feet into his Pumas. "No they won't. Everyone here knows me. Only the tourists would think I'm a tourist and if they say anything, I'll light them on fire."

Karla rolled her eyes. "You're walking either way. It's good for you."

"Moooooom."

"My house, my rules. Now get out."

"Love you!"

"Love you too, you crazy pyro of mine."

SRAR

"Hey everybody, I'm back!"

"Axel, your friends from school are here!"

"I know, mom. I noticed the car in the driveway and I'm looking right at them."

Karla stuck her tongue out at her son before turning back to Marluxia. "So, your hair is naturally that color?"

"It's natural." Marluxia laughed good-naturedly even though Axel knew he was tired of everyone asking him that question. "My dad is blonde and my mom has light red hair and I was born with pink hair. I could prove it to you, but I doubt Axel would like that."

Axel pretended to gag and his friends laughed.

"Sorry I was late. My mom pulled the 'my house, my rules' card and forced me to walk." He opened up his bag of throat lozenges and unwrapped it before popping it in his mouth.

"Well now that you're taken care of, princess, mind explaining why you ditched us?" Marluxia asked as he sat back in the recliner.

"In a moment, your highness." Axel retorted before joining his mother on the couch.

"Come on, Axel. I asked your mom, but she doesn't know either. Just said it was about some rockless guy. Was that the blonde at the club who knew your name? Cause I thought he rocked." Demyx babbled from the loveseat.

"She said his name is Roxas, not rockless." Zexion corrected.

Axel took out his lighter and began to play with the flame as his friends bickered back and forth. It could take forever for them all to realize that they had better things to do rather than arguing over he said she said. Axel just wanted to get this all out so he could put it behind him and begin to make things right between him and his ex-best friend.

"I do believe we have better things to discuss."

"Whatever, you're just avoiding the question." Marluxia accused as he smirked at the slate-blue haired teenager.

Axel's curiosity was peaked. "What question?"

Demyx flashed Zexion a wide, bright smile before he answered Axel. "We were debating on who had the best ass of the bands that performed last night."

"Awesome!" Axel smiled, waiting for more, but when no one responded he rolled his eyes and asked, "So, who'd you guys come up with?"

"I thought Riku had the best ass of his bunch, but the other guy was sitting, so it's debatable, but I think he wins, hands down, cocks up. His only other competition would be that blonde guy who drummed in the Warrior band."

"Cloud Strife." Axel nodded thoughtfully as he pictured the blonde's ass in his mind. "He does have a nice ass."

"Ha!" Marluxia exclaimed, pointing at Demyx in triumph.

"Whatever." Demyx waved the pinkette off. "I still think the shorter blonde had the best ass."

Axel blinked in confusion. "What short blonde? Tidus?"

"I don't know his name. Is he the one who knew your name?" Demyx snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! That's why we're here! You're suppose to tell us why you ditched when you saw the guy with the nice ass!" He grinned evilly at the redhead. "Spill it, Flurry."

"Whoa, you mean Roxas' ass? That blonde?" Axel choked on his spit incredulously.

"Yep! The one that screamed your name." Demyx giggled. "Heh heh, that sounded dirty."

Zexion closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fingertips. "I'm surrounded by imbeciles."

"Hey!" Karla interjected indignantly as she glared at the short emo boy. "I'm offended."

"Not you, Mrs. Lea." Zexion quickly clarified in a calm voice. "I was directing that to the males in this room."

Demyx pouted and ducked his head. "We all know you're smart, Zex. You don't need to make everyone else feel dumb."

Zexion started to protest, but Marluxia cut him off. "Awww, Dem-Dem, come over here. Don't sit by that insufferable bookworm." Demyx sniffled and trudged over to Marluxia and was promptly pulled onto the pink-haired man's lap. "There, there." Marluxia consoled the moping blue eyed teen and stroked his mullet fondly. "He's just being all know-more-than-thou again."

Axel rolled his eyes at the dramatic theatrics his friends were displaying, but he wasn't surprised. Demyx had a knack for speaking without thinking, Zexion corrected him unemotionally and Marluxia pampered him. It was the well-rehearsed cycle they went through almost daily and Axel was more than use to it, but his mother was watching the scene play out with wide eyes. It seemed like Axel would have to be the mature adult once again.

"Cut it out before my mom decides to make you her personal, live soap opera."

"Axel!" Karla hit her son. "Don't say that! You have no idea how much better this is!" She winked at her son's friends. "Carry on, boys."

"No, don't." Axel cut in. "I'm either telling you about what happened between Roxas and I now or I'm never speaking of it again."

"Now who's the drama king?" Marluxia muttered under his breath.

Axel glared. "Just for that I'm setting your garden on fire."

"Asshole."

"Garden nymph."

"Pyro!"

"Pouf!"

"Flaming homo!"

"In the closet pansy!"

"I'm BI, you flaming pain in the ass!"

"Bi my ass, you girly thorn in my side!"

"Put that lighter away or so help me I'l-SHIT! YOU BURNED ME!"

"Now who's the flaming homo?"

"Immature children."

"MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, ZEXION!" "YEAH, STAY OUT OF THIS, BOOKWORM!"

"STOP YELLING AT ZEXY! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"God, this is sooo much better than soap operas. This is like reality TV, without the TV!"

"Shut up, mom!"

"Don't take that tone with me!"

Several minutes later they were back in their seats, though looking slightly worse for wear. Demyx was pink in the face and pouting, again, Marluxia was spreading burn cream on forearms, Axel's hair was spiked at unusual angles and were already deemed pointless to fix, Karla's eyes were still bright with excitement and Zexion looked unaffected, though a bit put off.

"Do you always fight like this?" Karla asked, addressing Marluxia and her son, whom both nodded sheepishly.

Demyx bobbed his head quickly. "They never get along. They both like to be in charge too much."

"Yes," Zexion smirked. "Which is why they would never work out as a couple, though the sexual tension is affecting us all at this point."

"Shut up, Zexion." The other two boys said in unison, but avoided each other's gaze.

Karla clapped her hands and giggled. "You boys have to visit more often! Then I could cancel cable!"

Axel rolled his eyes. "You'd miss the cooking shows too much."

"That's why Sora'll visit more!" Ms. Lea stuck out her tongue childishly.

"Speaking of Sora, and by Sora I mean Roxas...shut up so I can get this over with."

They were quiet for few moments and when no one interrupted, Axel began to tell the story all over again from the beginning.

~x~x~x~

When he finished, Axel was staring at his hands folded up in his lap, flipping the lid of his lighter open and closing it quickly. He was nervous, ashamed and even more depressed after rehashing it the second time around.

"That's awful, Axel. I can't believe you said those things to him." His mother's low voice made Axel flinch. " Especially the things you said before you left. That was so despicable and wrong." Karla sighed sadly. "But it's not completely your fault. You and Roxas both kept secrets and twisted everything up. You boys really ruined things for yourselves."

"I know." Axel's voice was rough and his throat felt like sandpaper, but he made no move to get water. His throat lozenges sat on the coffee table, untouched and full, save for the one he had when he got home.

Marluxia sent the depressed redhead a small, sympathetic smile. "Unrequited love is the worst kind of love there is."

"All emotions are worthless." Zexion added with a curt nod. "It's best if one does not acknowledge nor exhibit these-" The blue-slate haired male frowned and wrinkled his nose and forehead in deep disapproval, "Feelings."

"Shut up, Zexion." The others in the room said simultaneously, even Ms. Lea joined in.

Demyx shot Zexion a reproving look and elbowed the teen sharply in the side. He turned to face Axel with pity in his eyes. "That's rough, man." Demyx got up and sat between the mother and son on the couch and rubbed his friend's back.

Axel sighed and welcomed the soothing touch, but he wanted another's touch. A blonder, shorter, bluer-eyed boy's touch with spikey hair and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, a faint blush across the apples of his cheeks and nose, furrowed eyebrows, cracked lips from biting them too often and a smirk that made every dangerous thought become a tempting possibility that was sure to have regretful results but would be a hell of a story to tell and look back and laugh about, no matter the consequences.

Axel jumped when his mother spoke, though her voice was barely above a whisper. "Did you really love him?"

The green eyed male nodded weakly, his facial features twisted into a tragic, pained expression.

"Do you still love him?" Marluxia asked.

Again, Axel nodded, the motion quick and sure.

"Do you have a plan?"

Axel glanced at his mother. "Yeah."

"Do you need help?" Demyx questioned.

He hesitated before nodding.

"Then we're in." Marluxia declared, flashing the mournful pyromaniac a bright smile.

"Yeah, one for all and all for love!" Demyx cheered, punching his fist into the air. He whirled around, lowering his fist and pointed at the boy on the loveseat. "Right, Zexion." The dirty blonde stated, rather than questioned.

The teen sighed. "Very well. I'll go along with this no doubt hopeless scheme."

Karla squealed and clapped her hands. "This is better than-!"

"Mother, if you say cable, soap operas or reality TV one more time I'll light your hair on fire!"

Ms. Lea pouted. "I wasn't going to say any of those things."

"Oh." Axel flicked his lighter shut.

His mother smirked. "I was going to say Lifetime movie." She jumped to her feet and ran out of the room, her footsteps pounding up the stairs.

"THAT'S IT!" Axel growled and launched himself over the couch and bounded after his mother, their footsteps echoing throughout the house.

Zexion rolled his eyes and produced a book from thin air, held it in front of his face and began reading, ignoring the crashes, yells, slamming doors from above and all the smoke alarms in the house going off. Demyx was wide-eyed and open-mouthed until the fire alarm sounded and then he was charging up the stairs, supposedly to put out whatever was smoking. Marluxia only blinked and said, "Do you think everyone in Axel's family was dropped on their heads, multiple times, as babies or if their level of all-around insanity is genetic?"

When no one answered, he huffed, flipped his hair over his shoulder and stalked out of the house, muttering under his breath about emotionless emo bookworms, ditzy dirty blondes, homoerotic and TV obsessed women and flaming homosexual pyromaniacs. Marluxia thanked his lucky stars he was normal, as he popped the trunk of Zexion's car and pulled out his Louis Vuitton satchel. He rummaged around until his fingers closed around the object of his desires and he brandished it with a bright smile. The pink haired male puckered his lips as he applied glittery pink lip gloss to his mouth. Out of everyone here, he was the most normal. Clearly.

ARARAR

Please, please, please review! I really want to know what you think!

This chapter is named after Miranda Cosgrove's song with the same name.