Disclaimer: Please read previous chapter. Lol.

Author Note: First off, a big thanks for all those who took the time to review the last chapter. At first I was a little worried that it wasn't very good or people were no longer reading JUBBY fanfics. You all however proved me wrong and I'm glad. I can't tell you how much it means to get a review from readers, even when its only a sentence, it truly inspires me to write more. Thanks to Amy Hunt, Abbs of the faeries, Rose Gilmore.

For those of you who contributed your ideas, thank you. I'm sorry if my muse didn't pick your idea but don't worry I'm keeping them tucked and stored for any future stories.

Again thanks for supporting this pairing and my stories. I know my writing can definitely improve and become better so I hope over time through my stories it will. I hope you enjoy this next letter. Thanks to Amy Hunt for proof reading this story.

Theme Inspired by: Abbys of the faeries

Warning: Please note, story contains angst and a slight darker theme.

B is for Breakdown

Breakdown – a loss of mental or physical health. (Dictonary .com)

The X-jet began its slow descend towards the earth. Bobby's eyes stared emotionless out the window towards the hidden opening along the cliff that was at the edge of Xavier's compound.

A strange feeling began to fill him as he stared at the mansion's outline from the moonlit sky. Xavier's school for the gifted and talented had represented the one few refuges for mutants. A place and chance for freedom for acceptance of what they were, mutants. It now seemed like a double sword. His sword of strength, he found where he had belonged after discovering his ice abilities. He only saw the glory that the mansion provided. His youth of what he thought would be shattered the day he woke up with his room completely iced was saved by the place who taught him how to harvest his powers.

Bobby Drake had grown into a young man who wore the X-Men emblem on his sleeve with nothing but pride. Yet he was beginning to realize pride could only bring a man so far until he was faced with the inevitable truth of not knowing who he was becoming. He suddenly felt ashamed and defeated. Iceman was losing control.

Bobby could sense the looks his teammates were giving him as they boarded the jet minutes ago. Like strangers, Robert gawked, as if in disbelief that he could be becoming something else. Like a doctor, Scott stared, as if trying to rationalize tonight's events once more and attempt a poor explanation. Like his parents years ago, Kitty looked, a pained emotion on her face as if she were losing him to a monster. Like his own brother, Ray glanced, he couldn't even look as if afraid to accept what might be happening.

It disgusted him to the core that people that were his own, people that were his family, could look at him as if he were different now. Despair settled in and Bobby realized once more, he was different now, even he couldn't tell who he was or what he was becoming. The more their faces filled with those looks the further he felt away from them.

It had only been less than a 10 minute flight back home, but the minutes felt like hours when he sat in the back, the jet filled with silence with nothing but the hum of the engines. Bobby desperately wanted to escape sensing the anxiousness on the plane to talk about what happened but their inability to even speak one word to him. It only angered him.

Suddenly he wondered as the X-Jet touched ground whether this is what Evan had felt years ago before leaving. Had he felt not just a loss of his own approval of his mutation but the approval of his teammates his own friends? A sinking feeling hit and Bobby wondered how he had acted when it had happened when Evan's powers went into another direction. Just a kid, just a fool, Bobby approached the subject the only way he knew how, he joked. Who's laughing now?

The engine switched off and sounds of his teammates unbuckling their seat belts set sign of his freedom. He immediately stood, the simple action sent a ripple effect, and before he knew it was even happening the entire floor and seats of the jet were covered with ice.

Horror and surprise filled his teammates faces as they shot glances at the only person who could have possibly done the act. Gray eyes looked from the floor at faces he had always turned to in the past as he waited for something.

Silence. Even now, when he needed their assurance, they provided nothing.

It erupted, the feeling he had been containing inside had just exploded. Ignoring their silent faces and looks Bobby took deep hurried strides toward the hatch of the jet. Within seconds he had the door open and listened as no one dare follow.

"Bobby!"

The voice was too late. Bobby had jumped down from the jet and adrenaline fueled him as he took into a run. An ice path followed him as he covered the floor and walls, his powers beyond control. He could feel his blood pumping through his veins, anger, disappointment, hurt, running through his mind and body.

He sought the only place he knew to go because no one could stop him now.

The mansion was a double edge sword. His sword of strength was also his sword of fear. Despite the pride in the mansion, the freedom and acceptance. Being a part of this place was the constant reminder of one, they were mutants, and they could be monsters.

Bobby had witnessed it before. The way people had lost their humanity to their mutations. It was reason why some mutants chose to kill above all else. Humanity had given up on them, so they had given up on humanity. Start losing control of your powers, you become a monster. Someone to be feared, someone that not even your own can understand.

The door hissed shut and Bobby let out an angered scream as he shot out ice projectiles into the room destroying random objects around the room. He wasn't just losing control of his own powers, he was losing control of his own body, he was losing his mind. He was on the edge of a breakdown and he felt defeated even more.

Humanity was ones own savior. It separated one from a monster. Monsters went on rampage without a thought or feeling. Humanity kept one from doing so. Mutants were ostracized from the human race because of their mutant abilities. What people failed to see though was that mutants though different shared the one thing no other species in the world did with the human race, humanity.

'Bobby.'

The unwelcome voice came booming in Bobby's mind. Dropping to his knees Bobby let out another anguish cry as he dug his hands into the floor covered with ice. He felt ashamed and he felt violated.

"Get of my head!"

He could feel it, Xavier was probing into his head, efforts of him trying ease and calm the raging pained mutant. He was unwelcome and though Bobby could sense the concern thoughts of Xavier's, he hated it detested it. He wondered then if Xavier could see the monsters raging in his mind, his darkest thoughts, his lost soul.

Xavier was in his mind, trying to communicate with him, seeking the thoughts of trying to understand the cause of his breakdown, as if he didn't know. The way Xavier was trying to ease the pain coursing through his mind, his emotions, in his own body. Trying to control his rage, trying to control what Bobby no longer had control of. Bobby felt betrayed.

The man who he held to the up most respect was now trying to control him instead of console him. Bitterness seeped through him. He felt further away.

'Bobby, you need to remain calm. I think -'

Bobby's mind raged. "No!" he screamed, his arms rose in the air and all around him thousands of projectiles flew throughout the room.

Sounds of ice being shattered, objects being destroyed could be heard over Bobby's labored breathing. He had just done the one thing he had never been able to do before, what few mutants could do, he had blocked out Xavier. He was now in his ice form without his control, he looked around the entire room was now covered with ice. What he didn't know was now the entire floor and wing of the mansion that he stood on was covered in ice.

The sound of the door hissed open and Bobby stood suddenly, he swung his arm as he turned around and sent hundreds of ice projectiles flying at the intruder.

A blinding light filled the room and Bobby stared as colors filled the room. It shined like the Northern lights. And for a moment Bobby could only stare at the lights and the person who stood in front of him. She had destroyed his attack with her own thus creating something he had never seen before. A room filled of her own powers reflected off the falling ice, shining hundreds of colors.

"Bobby." The same voice that had called his name as he left the X-Jet.

Sapphire eyes stared directly into his eyes. It was the same and only look he had received after the mission, the very one he couldn't bring himself to hate though he didn't know why. The sapphire orbs so intense showed their only focus him. Not what he had done to the room, how he had looked, or what he was becoming, it was if she stared into his soul.

Jubilation Lee stood in front of him catching her breath, silently looking at him.

The sight eased him, whether it was the colored lights or the sapphire orbs, Bobby's breathing slowed. Yet, his heart still raced and his blood still pumped with the anger he felt moments ago.

"Get out of here Jubilee." He whispered darkly.

Bobby couldn't understand why she had come. Of all people why Jubilee was the one to step into this room. Jubilee was a X-Men since she returned to the mansion over a year ago. He had only known her as a acquittance prior to that when they were just recruits and before she had been forced to leave after the mansion was attacked. Now, they were neither acquittance nor friends, he wasn't even too sure he could categorize her as a teammate. She seemed to never fully match or fit either three.

However, Jubilee was a lover for the soul. From what he knew before she returned to X-Men she had seen her own fair share of anguish mutants, some from her own former team. From what he had gained from Professor Xavier she had experienced lost. He wondered if she could understand his. He wanted to laugh, like anyone would want to understand.

He glared back at her defiantly, as if waiting for her to challenge his order or his warning.

Jubilee took a step forward and Bobby watched as the last few pieces of ice fall onto the ground, the flashes of plasmoids disappear.

"Why, so you can continue keeping yourself caged in here like animal?" Her voice is quiet but he hears her every word.

Her words hit a place in Bobby's own heart as he flinches slightly. He has forgotten she is one of the most sarcastic women in the mansion, a quick tongue and a flair with bluntness, and above all stubborn. The words leave her mouth quickly and though it's direct, he can see that there's more than its blunt meaning, her words though sharp are laced with a deep emotion.

Bobby snarls because it affects him, though she has some how calmed him, he still feels angered and broken. "Then what is your purpose here? Are you going to try and keep this animal tamed?" His words are dark as they leave his mouth and he's surprised at how he sounds.

He knows now just how close to the edge of the breakdown he is at now. Humanity is lost, because he has seen the lost understanding from his teammates and friends. Some have been patient and tried over the past months to understand why his powers have been acting up. Why he turns into his ice form spontaneously or why he is unable to to change upon his own will anymore. But after the first few times, they begin to leave it silent, afraid to talk to him about it. He has seen the Professor try to help him but his powers outweigh the young man's emotions on this.

They have given up trying to understand because now they only look and stare. Whisper, instead of talk. They have turned to trying to mentally approach him. They have stopped trying to touch his humanity. It results him feeling further away and he pushes further away from the people who had known him best.

Bobby Drake is tired. He is becoming a man who he doesn't even know. Though he's been fighting the temptation to feed off bitterness he feels hurt and broken every time he sees their look on their faces. He is ashamed to feel so weak to be losing himself to his powers. He is a whirlpool mixed with emotions trying to deal with what he himself cannot understand, in a world where even his own friends cannot look at him the same. He pushes farther away not wanting to be with people when he cannot even look at himself.

Jubilee looks pained, though its a different from the way Kitty stared, its as if her sapphire eyes reflect off what she sees as she stares at him. His pained and broken soul.

"I had no idea you lost yourself to this animal Bobby." Jubilee's voice strong and unwavering, as if in disbelief that he could be an animal.

Letting out a dark laugh, he's amused that she continues to play this game with him, unafraid of the words she uses. "Oh." He cocks his head slightly as he looks out around the room, the damage he has caused his apparent, the room of the temperature is a freezing degree now. "Look around Jubilee, what anything but an animal cannot contain their own powers?"

It takes Jubilee only a second before she answers him and when she does, he is surprised by the words, "Mutants. We at one point are unable to control our own powers. Some are even still fight to control it."

It pains him when he hears the words because he has never felt so alone when associated with the word mutants. The word feels foreign to his own soul now. His pride as a X-Men feels gone now, vanished with his lost hope in his friends. His pride lost when he lost his own control. Has he really gone on the edge of the brink of despair that Xavier attempts to mentally stabilize him. Suddenly, the anger is overcome with a deep sense of loss and pain. He realizes the real reason why he is hurt on the ride home tonight and by Xavier's approach. The reason why the past months have been so dark. He feels no longer a man able to control his own body or mind. Bobby's never felt such despair until that moment.

"Mutants." Bobby lets out another laugh, this one filled with pain and anguish. "I think I have lost my place here."

This time his gray eyes looks around, the darkness he feels inside is sustained, and he looks at what he has done in such little time. He has lost himself in the breakdown and knows not what he's become. His rage and doubt has won over his humanity and he has acted out in blind rampage.

"You're freezing." Bobby points out, indeed Jubilee stands struggling to not quiver though her blue lips and the smoke visible from when she breathes is enough evidence that the temperature is dangerously low.

"I think I understand why Evan left now." He shares out loud after spending minutes observing his work and damage done. Bobby's hard eyes stare at her as Jubilee remains silent.

Staring out at his damage his reflection from the ice covered floors, Bobby sees a stranger staring back at him. He's silently been trying but he's unable to revert back to his original form and de-ice.

Bobby Drake had been the youngest X-Men recruited to become a leader. Iceman was agile and filled with speed and power. His personality shined just as his powers did. It made him loved by his teammates and trusted by his superiors. Everything Bobby Drake (Iceman) had become within the past years at the mansion and with X-Men had been slowly been taken a part and loss within the course of a few months.

Letting out a deep sigh Bobby stares as his ice covered hands, "I have become a teammate my own friends do not know. Who I do not even know. My questioning unstable powers have become feared and not understood by those who use to trust me. I do not even trust me."

The words pain him but it's true. The change in his mutated powers, change him so much outside and inside. He has lost his only mental stability and faith in the only team that had kept him believing in who he was and what he was when he lost control of his powers. They had begun to fear and most importantly doubt him. It had been the deepest hurt. He had lost hope in himself and in them and it's the greatest lost he has experienced.

"I have lost my purpose here." The words are cold and barely audible.

Silently Bobby walked towards Jubilee, towards the door. He hears her sharply inhale as he pauses slightly just as he passes her as if fully understanding his thoughts and emotions just then.

Taking another step forward Bobby is surprised when he feels her arms slip around his sides embracing him from behind. It's within second she snakes her body around him until she's directly in front embracing him.

He feels warmth from her skin and Bobby looks down and recalls her special ability of being able absorb her plasmoids into her body.

"I've never known another man like you Bobby Drake." Jubilee confesses into his ear. He can feel her breath against his neck and for more than a second he wishes he could feel the warmth of it so he can be reminded he really is a man and not a monster. He suddenly desperately aches to believe he hasn't lost his humanity to his bitterness that eats inside of him as he loses control of his powers each and every time. Desperate to believe he hasn't lost himself.

It's strange to hear her statement and wonders what she could mean. Bobby remains silent as he somehow finds himself wrapping his arms around her, afraid that this would be his last human touch for what maybe months or years.

Jubilee let's out a laugh and his heart is somehow welcomed to it, it's been so long since he's heard someone laugh, especially when his powers were like this. "You have been incredibly annoying since the day I meant you with your pranks and gags."

He wants to laugh with her because he knows well how much she has been the victim of his pranks, She's always verbalize just how much she hates him for it. Instead he listens silently as she continues. "Yet you have been charming with charisma on and off missions."

Letting out a sigh Jubilee pushes herself off him and places her hand against his toned iced cold chest. He's sadden to not feel the warmth from her hands as they glow with her powers. "You show more passion than anyone else in everything you do. I hope you find what you're looking for." Her voice is in low soft whisper by the time she's done and Bobby is captivated by the sapphire eyes staring at him.

Bobby's gray eyes soften and he wonders why he's never noticed it before. The way he is attracted to her, his need to annoy her, his unnatural ease of ability to charm her.

"Thank you Jubilee." Bobby whispers. He watches and instantly misses it, as Jubilee removes her hand off his chest as if signaling his freedom to leave now. Over 30 minutes ago he wanted to disappear off the jet. 15 minutes ago he was ready to destroy anything and everything. 10 minutes he lost his humanity and felt certain it was gone forever. 5 minutes ago he realized lost his place in the only home he had every known. 3 minutes ago he realized that he needed to leave to find himself. 2 minutes ago he was sure he'd would or could never return.

Leaving the danger room Bobby let out a sigh as he glanced over his shoulder towards Jubilee who had yet moved. After, he found himself, found a way to figure out what was happening to him, found his faith, rebuild his humanity and hopefully found control of his powers. He would return if not the place but the person who had not feared or lost hope in him, even when he had.

Author Note: Wow. I'm seriously nervous. This is obviously not like any other of the stories I've written. Believe me, I was almost actually going to make it a darker theme than what it came out to be.

I'm afraid to post this because it's certainly something different. Not to mention a lot more angst than I intended. However, I am also afraid I will not be able to write another Breakdown story (or at least not anytime soon with this one in my mind). So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, review. Let me know your thoughts. I know it isn't exactly happy or comforting or anything like that but I hoped at least someone liked it.

By the way, let me apologize for Xavier and anyone else's attitude that I may have portrayed a little negatively in this story. For it to work as a one shot without making it too long I had to make them seem a little more not understanding or comforting. If it helps just imagine being really worked up and emotional by the whole thing so he takes everything kind of hard.

Anyways. PLEASE PLEASE review. I'm tempted to do a spin off of some sort of justify what happened in this chapter but yet I might just leave it as is (it wasn't too horrid was it?) Lol.

Anyway, C is up. Ideas? Because I got none as of now. A word and a idea may also be reviewed if you're looking for something more specific, that might make my muse happier if your really hoping for that particular theme/idea.

Thanks for reading.