THE KING VERSE

Part Four: The Game Plan

Unlike back in Phantom Duck's own universe, petty crime here was an easy clean up because even though The King had them in a chokehold, the police department was still functioning. The vigilante came back to Morgana's place feeling unspent.

Morgana had her potion that would rid her of her 'rival', so she was quite fine without him. Bushroot had taken up Phantom's job of being Drakey's tutor. It was more the fact that the plant-duck was really quite a likeable, personable individual and compared to Phantom Duck he was hardly scary at all.

Phantom frowned at Morgana's gate, feeling a bit like a third wheel. Things were going well in this universe ... how could he help?

"Hey!"

He turned to the sound of Gosalyn's voice.

Gosalyn's hair was done up in a high ponytail. She was wearing a loose skirt that matched her moulded baby pink turtle neck angora sweater and there was enough pink in this picture for him to get sick on.

"What's up, ghostly guy?"
"Gosalyn, honey ... what-are-you-wearing? Have you no self respect, young lady?"
"Chill out, Mr. o'hallow. The 'Pins don't look twice at you if you're wearing pink ..." She raised the bottom edge of her sweater and pulled down the edge of her dark brown T shirt underneath, revealing bright yellow lettering that read 'Off the Rim'. Gosalyn grinned. "I'm a bit of a rebel like my mum is."
"You certainly are." He grinned. "In any universe. Thank goodness, I was getting worried with all that pink."
She laughed. "Nah, you're the only fruit loop 'round this here universe, ghoully."

"Gosalyn, how are you alive? I mean, I'm glad you are, but I would have thought Taurus Bulba would've killed you."
Gosalyn widened her eyes, staring at Phantom Duck. "How'd you know about all that?"
"In my universe I was the one that rescued you from him."
"Oh, yeah, I get that now." Gosalyn considered him. "Well, in this universe, there was no you..." She darted her eyes about, looking for eavesdroppers.

"In the heat of a summer night
In the land of the dollar bill
When the town of St. Canard died
And I talk about it still
When that jerk Taurus Bulba,
Tried to take me on my own
And he brought his guns of war
And chased me outta the mall."

"Yep, that kinda supports my 'you should be dead' theory, Gos."

"Outside what a night it really was,
Outside what a fight it really was
I ducked and hid.
And the sound of the battle rang
From the street right where I did hide
Then there was strumming in the street
And surging electricity."

She sighed. "Very luckily for me, Bulba got caught up in the crossfire. He also proved a distraction for The King and so we were all able to escape that skirmish in one piece."
"The King was in a street fight? With who?"
"Sheesh, Phantom, you really got nothing on this universe. The King ... tried to take a punk on Megawatt for dealing in illicit hard rock. Mum was in the Ye Olde Bootleg club, like usual ..."
"Why was Morgana in a sleazy down town pub? She's not ..."
"Ahem! Excuse me? Do you want me to finish the story, Mr. dead-duck-walking or are you gonna be all arrogant and self-righteous?"
Phantom hesitated. "Why is there an 'or' in that sentence?"
Gosalyn rolled her eyes with a groan. "Mum was right: you are arrogant!"

"It's a far cry away,
From your warm bed and all,
'Neath the neon signs at night,
Where the punk cockerels brawl.
But there's nothing so ordinary,
In fact just plain boring
Than to stand in the bar
Of a pub of The King."

"There's no hard rock, rap, techno or country, heck, even Mozart's black-listed. There's just the music that he chooses for us to listen to."
Gosalyn prodded him. "And that 'pub' happens to be the only place that Megawatt can play at without The King and Cecile coming in and destroying all the electronics, because mum's got protection charms on it. And as for being 'sleazy', you really shouldn't spit on something when it's the only way that some other people can get their bread and water." The young teenager walked on down the pathway into town with an upturned beak.

Phantom stood there thinking hard about things after Gosalyn had left.
He spun around. "I've got it!" He cried out. "King, you're about to meet your match. Boy are you going down!" He raced up the pathway to Morgana's house and past the garden gnomes. From the porch he saw them watching him, cautious, wary but defeated.
"Morgana!" He knocked on the door hard. "How long until that potion is ready?" He called out.

She opened the door for him and he rushed inside.
"Another day yet. The toad venom has to swelter first, Phantom."
He pushed past her. "This is great: listen: I'll take Drakey Mallard's place! He can stay with Bushroot and I'll just take his place instead."
"You are the farthest thing from Drakey Mallard as I could imagine."
"Thanks for the compliment." He smiled at her. "But I'm also a pretty good actor. Heck, I used to be him when I was a child. I'll take them all out easily ... from the inside."
"Wait ... you're not thinking of killing them, are you?"
Phantom blinked. "It's somewhat unavoidable if you want to stop a criminal properly."
Morgana shook her head in disapproval. "I may be an evil businesswoman, but I'm not an evil person. I can't condone you killing them, even if they are criminals. Enough people die without us adding to the problem."
"They'll see Drakey Mallard on the security cameras delivering the stuff, Morgana. He'll be the one on the list of casualties instead. You've gotta take your pick, Morg; not everyone survives a war."

"Oh, security cameras won't be a problem."

Megawatt's voice interrupted their conversation. Phantom looked up the stairs and the shadows leapt as Megawatt descended. The electric rodent chuckled as he stepped over and stood beside Morgana. The rodent hooked his arm around her waist. "It'll work just like in the fairytales, won't it, Ganny, baby?"
"Yes, it certainly will, Meggy, my little crackle-pop."
Phantom Duck backed off a step as they kissed and the sparks were quite literally flying. "I ... think Bushroot still has some floor space up at the tower, heh. Plenty of room for one more up there." Phantom Duck turned and rushed out the front door in alarm. "Please, somebody find me a way to get outta this nightmare!" He flew down the pathway and found himself back on the street with the gate safely behind him. 'Focus, Phantom.'

"Hey ... um ... you!"
Phantom turned as Megawatt raced down the pathway and joined him, breathless on the safe side of the gate. "Hello, Megav-watt."
"Yeah-heh ..." Megawatt breathed. "Those garden gnomes really give you a run for your money."
"They'll be used to you by now ... Meggy. They're just chasing you for the sport."
"Well, I normally have time to zap them. You know; the shock treatment. Morgana has in mind something really big, Phantom Duck, but I know the importance of conducting preliminary tests in order to better assure the success of the project."
"Y'what?" Phantom blinked blankly at the electric geek. "In Quackonese that means ...?"
"Let's practice you getting in there and acting like-."
"Like a complete loser?"
"I remember what it was like to be bullied." Megawatt frowned. "You live day to day, trying to get on with your own life, only to have it continuously caved in, crashed, smashed and your humiliation is all bottled up because you're powerless to prevent it!" Megawatt took a sharp breath in. "Oh, yes," he started on a suddenly more conversational tone, "I remember it well." Megawatt took Phantom Duck's shoulder. "What say you and me give this rotten bully a little taste of his own medicine?"
"Why, Meggy?" Phantom Duck blinked at Megawatt, "do you think that someone like me could possibly do such a thing?"
"Erm, yes."
Phantom Duck grinned. "It's true; I'm a duck of many hidden talents." He turned from Megawatt. "So come on, then. Let's give The King a little shock treatment."

Darkwarrior Duck sat up, rubbing his head. "The in-flight service on that trip was positively criminal; if they existed I'd fire them out of a canon." He took his multi-gun from out of his pocket and checked it. Then he looked around and a feeling of horror filled him. "What has happened to my beautiful St. Canard?" He growled as he jumped up to a stand.

He saw chewing gum on the sidewalks and broken glass littered the ground everywhere. In the absence of glass every window along the street had wood shutters. "Who did this?"

That's when he saw the people walking past him. Pedestrians were going about, wearing disgraceful miniskirts and untidy bell bottom jeans. The clothing colour scheme for the whole city was apparently black, white and blue for men and peaches and cream for women. Hair was coiffed into absurd beehives and greasy flips ... Darkwarrior felt like his eyes were starting to bleed from the grotesque visual onslaught.

"This is an outrage!" He roared, making a couple swerve away from him as they passed, eating their ice creams. He rounded on the two pedestrians. "Cease and desist, citizens!"
They blinked at him. "What's up?"
"Eating ice cream, 'eh?" He glared at them. "Don't you know that stuff is loaded with processed sugar and saturated fats?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"So like, what of it?"
He raised his gun and set it to flame thrower. "Guilty as charged."
"Yikes!"
"S.O.S!"
The couple jumped aside and a nearby biker gang stopped their illegal loitering a few doors up and advanced on Darkwarrior. "Hey, Sputnik. Watcha doin', messing with these straights?"
"Yo, like mad; what'd they done?"
"It's 'have'!" Darkwarrior growled at the punk's hideous grammar. "It's either what 'have' they done or what did they do! Perhaps twenty years in jail will teach you how to enunciate correctly?"
"That's like: totally messed up, man."
"No foolin'."
"What!" He exclaimed and then decided to begin again. "I am the terror that hunts in the night! I am not messed up, you are!"
"Hey, that's some serious lyrics you're putting down there."
"I am D-... Lyrics?"
"Sounds black-market." They looked at him frowning. "You better bounce before your name ends up in the paper."
"Black-market?"
The sound of a door tinkling shut snapped the motorcycle gang's attention like a rubber band and they tore away from Darkwarrior's side, unbalancing him.

"There's a thrill upon the hill. Let's go, let's go, let's go."

They got on their motorcycles and their engines roared as Darkwarrior raised his gun. Darkwarrior dropped his aim to get clear as they tore up the street past him.

"I'll add speeding to your list of crimes!" He stood on the curb, glaring hotly after them. "Oh, this was so much easier with the droids ... still; I like a bit of a challenge ..." He put his gun away and rubbed his hands together with a grin. "It's time to clean up St Canard! Again!" He laughed. "... These criminals won't know what hit 'em!" He chuckled to himself and walked off.

There was a sound as the door to the uptown apartment clicked closed. The King turned around from viewing the lights on Audubon Bay from his window, but there was no one else in the room.

'It was just my imagination. No, wait, what's that?' He moved to his large wooden antique desk and picked up the letter. The writing swirled bluely upon it.

" 'Since you won't do nothin' to save your doggone soul'?"

The fur on the back of The King's neck prickled. He went to the door and twisted the knob. It opened in on him with a shove. Slumped unconscious onto the carpet at his feet were the security officers who'd been guarding the door.

"Shake, Rattle and Roll ..." He scrunched up the note, "Lamont, baby!"
"Right here, big brother ..." Lamont hurried from the apartment next door and stared down at the unconscious guards. "Yo, we're being poked! Drakey!"
Drakey hurried up the hallway. "Y-yes, y-your c-c-c-coolness?"
" 'You seen anyone get in here?"
"N-no, La-Lamont. I have not seen anybody unu-usual."
"I ain't mustard on this." Lamont gritted.
"Yeah, I ain't in a hurry to get to the chapel neither, little brother." The King grumbled. "Go check out what peep show we got on this one-eyed cat."
"I'm gone, big brother." Lamont hurried off.
"Y-yes, sir!" Drakey squawked and dashed off after Lamont.