Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, all those involved in Once Upon A Time. I do not own the OUAT or Disney characters, nor any songs mentioned in this story.
Just a heads up, this is a long chapter...a bit more than the length of chapters 1&2 combined. I had considered breaking it into two chapters, but it felt like it all should be named "Aastha". You will understand the significance of Aastha about three-quarters of the way into the chapter. A lot happens in this chapter; both fluff and angst. Belle will have a doctor's appointment in this chapter, and it will be more detailed then most pregnant Belle fics, because I'm trying to depict what it is like for Belle to be both pregnant and have amnesia.
Thank you to thewordgirl for helping with proofing/feedback.
Once Belle had finished having a good cry...a concept that at times still confuses Rumplestiltskin, yet he knows is something he should get used to given the situation and her hormones, they opt to have an early dinner, since Belle appears emotionally and physically drained. As they eat their meals of baked potatoes and wild salmon that Rumplestiltskin had prepared, he hesitantly broaches the subject which both of them have been avoiding all day.
"Belle darling, there's something that needs to be determined; where you are living."
Belle's stomach tightens at the thought. She knows almost nothing of her life before being shot. What she does know is not encouraging; her only blood relative, her father, appears to be a monster. Unsure what to say or what to expect from him, she nods solemnly, nervously chewing her bottom lip.
"You've been living in an apartment above the library. As I told you earlier, you had decided to move out a few months ago, and that's where you've lived ever since." He takes a long drink from his glass of water, trying to remove the lump that has suddenly formed in his throat. "But...sweetheart, there were some nights you stayed here." Clearing his throat, trying to sort through thoughts and words that are jumbled in his mind by nervousness, "You stayed in my room then, but...", suddenly speaking more rapidly the necessary, "you could have your own...your own room, if you stay here, that is."
Belle bites down on the inside of her cheek in order not to giggle. There is something endearing about the fact that he seems as befuddled by this situation as she, and she is profoundly relieved that he appears to be asking her to stay here with him. The famous Belle, to whom everybody compares her, may have been an independent spirit looking for adventure, but being pregnant and not even remembering the conception nor being around babies, in addition to having a father and some Evil Queen out to get her, makes this Belle yearn for something safe. Despite the knowledge that Rumplestiltskin can be dangerous, as evidenced by the fireball in his hand and the look of blind rage in his eyes after the shooting, she knows she is safe with him. Regardless of not remembering a thing about their relationship nor this house within she had apparently spent much time, it feels like a sanctuary here, sheltering her from a world that is too overwhelming right now.
Realizing that his anxiousness is commanding the moment and he needs to be a reassuring force for Belle, Rumplestiltskin takes a breath and speaks in at a more natural tempo, saying resolutely, "Belle, I want you to stay here. This is the safest place for you. I don't wish to frighten you, but there are dangers afoot outside of these walls, and you have no memory of those dangers, which makes you more vulnerable. Please darling, stay here. I'll give you all the space and privacy you need. I need to know you're safe."
Reaching across the small kitchen table, Belle places her hand on his, and Rumplestiltskin glances pensively, hopefully, down at her hand warmly cupping his own. Waiting for his gaze to meet her eyes, Belle speaks with the a tone of gratitude, "Thank you. I'm too frightened to live alone some place completely strange to me. I know she probably didn't get frightened of such things, but it's all too much for me. This house...with you, feels right. I want to stay here."
He feels every muscle in his body that had seemed to be tightened like a over stretched rubber-band, relax as relief cascades over him. Having overcome one major hurdle, they ease back into their meals. For dessert, Belle opts to try donuts...after eating a chocolate, a glazed, and a powdered sugar, Belle determines that powdered sugar donuts are her 'absolute favorite'. The taste of the sugar blanketing her tongue with its soft texture, as her teeth break the ever so slightly crisp surface, diving into the soft flavorful interior causes Belle to let out a pleasured hum from the tastes and enjoyable textures. He smiles watching Belle lose herself in this new experience. Prior to losing her memories, it was always a toss up for Belle as to which she liked better; glazed or powdered sugar, but this Belle has certainly made up her mind. He wonders if it is indeed a difference between the Belle of old and the 'new' Belle or if it is simply an effect of the pregnancy. He smiles whimsically, looking at the powdered sugar that has adhered itself to her top lip and her chin. In the past, he would not have hesitated to lick her clean, and then linger, enjoying the taste of her. However, he knows that he does not have that kind of relationship with this Belle. Her terrified screaming after she awoke to him kissing her in the hospital is a memory that is seared in his mind.
Belle notes that his expression has transformed from amused to troubled and asks, "Is everything alright?" She feels rather foolish asking the question, as she thinks ruefully, "The love of his life has been replaced with me. How could he be alright?"
Her query pulls him out of his thoughts, as his attention is again drawn to the powdered sugar, and he smirks. Lifting a napkin tentatively, he explains, "My beauty, you seem to have attracted an ardent admirer in the form of powdered sugar."
She blinks and blushes at the realization that she has made a mess of herself. She self-consciously tries to lick the sugar away, but then stops, as he asks, "May I?"
Belle nods speaking softly, "Of course." She feels her face become hot and tingle as he delicately wipes the soft cloth napkin across her lips and chin, while he looks at her with unrestrained warmth. Though she is not his Belle, she sees an affection in his eyes that she hardly feels that she deserves, yet truly wants.
Later helping to clear the dishes, Belle joins him at the counter by the sink and asks, "What was the fight about?"
"Hmm?", he raises a questioning eyebrow.
"You said, in our homeland, we had a horrible fight, and you sent me away."
The strain of the day beginning to catch up with him, he deflects, "Does that really matter now?"
Determinedly, she says, "If that's what tore us apart, I'd say so. Did I do something? Did you do something? Whatever the problem was, I don't want it to happen again simply because I don't know what's going on."
He tenses and remains silent, debating what to do. He promised to be the one person she could count on to be honest with her, yet he carries a mountain of guilt from his actions that fateful day.
Belle observes the pain etched on his form and feels a pang of guilt for pushing him to reveal what is obviously a painful memory, yet she fears not knowing the truth will sabotage the fragile relationship they are trying to form for their child as well as themselves.
As he faces the counter, looking down with his hair forming a shield to his eyes, she coyly leans back against the counter, tilting her head to get into his line of vision, as she says with a secretive whisper, "You know, word has it, we're having a baby together. I think you can tell me what the fight was about."
His soulful brown eyes meet her iolite blue eyes which display curiosity with a touch of mischief, and a sad smile forms upon his face. "Typical Belle", he thinks, she always finds a way to finesse and prod him for more than he thinks he's able to give, and yet he has discovered through her prodding that he has grown more than he knew possible.
He nods, and then as he is about to speak, she puts her hand upon his on the counter and says in a nurturing tone, "Look, I know I'm asking a lot...kind of invading your privacy...yours and hers, I don't need all the details. I can tell this is painful. I only need enough to understand the basic issues. I don't want us to be pulled apart again. You're all I have. I need someone...someone I can trust. I need you." Though she does not have a full implicit trust in him, as it is too soon for that, she cannot deny the fact that she does trust him. Regardless of whatever his reputation may be with other people, to her, he is kind and loyal.
He is stunned by her words; she needs and trusts him. In the course of a day, much of the bleak existence that he assumed his life would be from now on, has changed in a wondrous way.
He smiles sadly and begins his tale, "It started with Regina...the Evil Queen. After I let you go...because I loved you, Regina arranged to meet you on the road. I hadn't warned you of her treachery. She had struck up a conversation with you...advising you, in her oh so helpful way." The bitterness was clear in his voice, as he continues, "She talked of me being cursed and of the power of true love's kiss to break any curse. When you came back, you asked me about my son, however I sidestepped the issue. I didn't want to talk about the biggest mistake of my life...losing my son...and in doing so, I started the course of events that lead to the other biggest mistake of my life...losing you. I should have told you...told you everything you needed to know...you deserved to know, but I didn't. And you kissed me, or rather, we kissed each other. For a moment, it was the second most wonderful moment of my life...second only to holding my infant son...but then my curse started to break. I became frightened and angry, and I stopped it. In your confusion at my reaction, you blurted out something about talking to a woman on the road. Instantly, I knew it had to be Regina, and from that moment on, there was no reasoning with me, though you tried. I accused you of being in league with the queen...and I behaved horribly...culminating in the idiocy and cowardice of sending you away with cruel words. It wasn't until we reunited a few months ago, that I learned that you had gone on an adventure, then decided to come back and fight for me, but before you could return, Regina kidnapped you and told me of your death."
Processing all he had told her, she clarifies "The fight was over a kiss...because it could break your curse. But I read a children's book in the hospital that made it seem that breaking a curse was a good thing. Why was that not the case?"
His brow furrows as he strokes her hand, in a sullen tone, he answers, "Normally, it would be. But I doubt I've ever been a normal man...however the situation was extraordinary. I needed my curse, my power, to be sure that I ended up in this land, in order to find my son. I was a fool for not telling you then. If I had...things would have been very different for us."
There is something steadfast in her expression as she says, "It sounds like we both made mistakes that day."
A realization dawns across her face, as a disturbed tone claims Belle's voice, "That's why you kissed me in the hospital. I'm a curse."
Not comfortable with her wording, Rumplestiltskin replies, "You were affected by a curse at the town boarder. So, yes, I tried to kiss you to bring your memory back."
A humorless chuckle escapes her, and then she says dourly, "Of course you did. That would be the only reason you'd want to kiss me...I guess you won't want to do that again."
Gazing at her intently, he attempts to clarify, "What?...kiss you?"
She nods, looking away with her form tensing from pent up emotion.
With a tone of apprehension and surprise, he asks "Would you want me to?"
She speaks in a whisper hoarse from emotion, "It was nice...before I ruined it, screaming at you, like some lunatic. I understand, it's not something you want to do...I'm not her."
There is a vulnerability in Belle's features, and he thinks of the irony of how he screamed like a lunatic after their kiss all those years ago. He owes her this...this moment of assuaging her insecurity. Even if she doesn't remember it, he still owes her and will pay her gladly.
Moving in close, he breathes out her name, whisper soft, "Belle?"
Her eyes hesitantly meet his, and he cups her cheek, his thumb lightly stroking her porcelain skin. He notices the uncertainty in her eyes and says tenderly, "I would very much like to kiss you now."
She grants him the faintest smile of surprise, and he tilts his head downward, giving her time to change her mind.
Belle's head spins with jumbled thoughts.
"He's really going to kiss me. What do I do? Should I be doing something?" Everything seems to move in slow motion, giving the moment an unreal quality.
Rumple tenderly presses his lips to hers. His lips cup her bottom lip that still tastes of powdered sugar, and he smiles at the realization. Belle is stilled, yet welcoming.
His lips are warm and soft upon hers. Though she has no memory of this from the past, it feels as if her body recognizes his touch, like being called home. Her mind continues to spin.
"Oh this is nice...no, not nice, better than nice. Why can't I think of a word better than 'nice'? My finger tips tingle...is that supposed to happen? Why do my legs feel weak? Should I do something with my hands?...where do my hands go? Oh his hand on my cheek feels so good. Can I ask him to do this anytime?"
Belle cautiously slides her arms around his neck, tentatively attempting to mimic him by delicately cupping her lips around his, tasting the meal that they had just consumed, yet admiring its deliciousness much more now. His hair falling forward brushes her skin, sending strange and pleasant shivers across her skin.
He is encouraged by her responsiveness to his touch. Just this morning, he had thought she would never allow him to see her again, much less ever again feel her sweet lips upon his own. Though the kiss has lasted mere moments, he does not want to overstep, losing the progress that they have made. He reluctantly pulls away from this innocent kiss, which he hopes is the first of many. He is pleased to hear this slightest whimper of disappointment from Belle as their lips part.
Her iolite blue eyes sparkle while Rumplestiltskin takes a moment to behold their loveliness, as her arms remain around his neck. Clearing his throat he says, "Thank you, sweetheart, for honoring me with a taste of your exquisite lips."
With her nervousness apparent, she says in a shaky voice, "You're welcome...I mean, thank you..."; her voice becomes breathless, as she continues, "It was really, really nice." She closes her eyes, blushing in frustration that for some reason, when this close to him, she cannot articulate her thoughts effectively.
He pulls her into an embrace and smiles against her hair, finding himself honestly amused by her awkward rambling. For so long, Belle had him befuddled in her presence, that it is 'nice' to know that he can have that effect on her as well, and he whispers, "Anytime, darling, anytime."
After the dishes are put away, he leads her to the upstairs bath, ensuring she has all the necessities, thankful that Belle had left various sundries and some clothing at his house. Later, he settles her into her bedroom, the room next to his. He takes a moment to admire her still damp hair cascading in lovely ringlets, and then bids her goodnight with a soft lingering kiss. He supplies her with an extra blanket, since his old house, as lovely as it may be, is rather drafty. As he closes the door behind him, his body tenses. There is a situation that must be handled to ensure Belle's safety. He does not want to leave her alone in the house, but he determines that in the long run, it is better to handle this now. "After all," he thinks ruefully, "the Charmings can't be depended upon to be of any help."
Walking through the hospital corridors, the evening shift of nurses appear deeply consumed in discussion while softly playing music at the nurses station. Rumplestiltskin strolls virtually unnoticed to Greg Mendell's room. Standing out of view, Rumplestiltskin peers through the small wired-glass window within the hospital room door. He recalls Belle's concern over discussing magic with the outsider. Rumplestiltskin observes Greg's self satisfied posture, lying in bed with his feet cross, with one arm behind his head as his free hand holds a cell phone. The man has bruising above and below his right eye, as well as a large bruise on his forehead that seems to accentuate his receding hairline. His tightly cropped, mouse brown hair frames his sallow skin and sunken dull blue eyes. Looking a bit like a hotel guest in his white terrycloth rob, whatever he is viewing has inspired a 'cat that ate the canary' smugness. Rumplestiltskin thinks, "This little worm of a man is up to something, of that I'm sure. Hmm...worm. It's been centuries since I've been fishing."
"Come now, you're better than that, Rumple."
In his mind's eye, he sees Belle with her head tilted, eyebrow arched and arms folded in front of her. Leaning against the hospital wall, she is clad in the clothes she wore the day of the shooting: smoke purple blazer, a dark patterned button down blouse and a belted khaki colored skirt, dark tights and her sensible boots to keep her and their precious child sure footed...missing is the wretched bullet hole. The events of that day had been so chaotic, that he had neglected to fully appreciate just how lovely she looked. He admires her sleek straightened hair. Though he loves her curls most of all, especially the way they involuntarily spiral around his fingers, her gleaming straighten hair frames her unworldly stunning face in a way that is ethereal.
With a hint of a lopsided smile, he responds with a warm tone in his mind, "You're being a wee bit of a nag."
With steely eyes and a smirk on her lips, she retorts, "You say 'nag'; I say 'pragmatist'...besides it's one of the things you love about me."
"Indeed. One of many things.", he agrees.
Nodding her head towards Greg's hospital room, she says in an instructional tone, "You best be getting on with it. Don't expect the Charmings to be of use."
In a tone dripping in sarcasm, he replies,"Belle, I'm shocked to hear you say something so disparaging about the royal family."
She huffs in amusement, "You put the words in my mouth."
With a sly grin, he fires back, "But I think I've captured your essence quite well."
Shaking her head, she asks with a hint of smugness, "Is it more enjoyable to talk to me when you can control the conversation?"
"Hardly. I miss the banter."
Softly she says, "I miss it too."
Thoughtfully, he asks, "Are you just in my imagination or are you really here in some way?"
She shrugs, "Guess that's question to ask me, once I have my memories back. I will, you know...I have faith in you to find a way."
Guiltily, he asks, "Are you...are you okay with your situation at my house?"
Rolling her eyes, as she does when she thinks he is being daft, she replies in a steady tone, "Why wouldn't I be? I found my way back to you. I wish I had been able to tell you about our baby the way I wanted to, but that doesn't much matter right now, I'm with you and that's all that matters."
A deep longing permeates his chocolate brown eyes, as he says soulfully, "I love you, Belle."
She smiles as her eyes have a misty appearance, "I love you too, my darling Rumple. Now, get on with this, you have things to do...and no using him for bate."
Sighing frustratedly, with a flourish of his hand, he says, "Oh, very well then, I'll go with plan A, for now, but if he becomes too much of a bother, the little worm will meet the business end of a hook on my fishing line."
Belle shakes her head and rolls her eyes maternally, then evaporates from his mind's eye. He supposes that it was a good thing he could have that conversation completely within his mind, so that people wouldn't overhear him talking to himself, as he refocuses his attention to Greg Mendell.
Putting on his most schooled expression, Rumplestiltskin enters the room. The man in the hospital bed is noticeably startled and then feigns the feebleness befitting a hospital patient.
Smiling crisply, Rumplestiltskin says, "Hello, Mr. Mendell. Recovering well, I see."
Uneasily, Greg says, "Yeah, well, I'm still pretty weak. Who are you, by the way?"
With false cordialness, Rumplestiltskin says, "Sorry, dearie, where are my manners. I'm Mr. Gold. I was one of the people you nearly hit when your car came careening into town."
With a contrite tone and expression, "Oh I'm so sorry. I feel terrible about the poor man I hit."
Flatly Rumplestiltskin replies, "Don't feel bad for him."
"Excuse me?"
Warming his voice, Rumplestiltskin redirects, "I mean, he's recovering nicely, and you need to concentrate on getting well. I'm sure you don't want to be stuck in our little nowhere town indefinitely. You probably have someone waiting for you...back home."
Greg shrugs nonchalantly, "No, not really. I'm kind of a loner. I may stay a while, once I'm released."
Growing tired of playing with the worm, Rumpelstiltskin waves his hand, and Greg Mendell flops unconsciously onto the bed.
Rumplestiltskin smirks reaching for Mendell's phone, "Now let's see just what you've been up to."
He discovers a message sent to 'Her' with a video file attached. He clenches his jaw in anger to see Regina talking with Belle, casting a spell on her, rendering her unconscious, like he just had with Mendell, and in a display of Regina's typical laziness, using magic to levitate Belle's belongings from her purse. Fortunately, the item for which Regina is looking, does not reside in Belle's purse...it is taped to the underside of Belle's bed in her apartment.
Rumplestiltskin conjures a duplicate phone, but without references to anything or anyone in Storybrooke, and pockets the original. He cast a spell on Greg erasing all memories of Storybrooke, as well as anything that created the notion to come to town. He casts a compulsion spell to give him the uncontrollable desire to return from whence he came.
With a snap of Rumplestiltskin fingers, Greg awakes.
"Uh...who are you?", Greg asks bewildered.
Oozing friendliness, Rumplestiltskin says, "Hello Mr. Mendell, I'm Mr. Gold. I came to check on your recovery. That was a nasty accident you had."
"What happened? Am I still in New York?"
Lightly and with a flourish of his hand, Rumplestiltskin replies, "No, you're a wee bit away, but your car will be repaired good as new when you're ready to leave."
Anxiously, Greg says, "Yeah, yeah, I gotta see my girl, Tamara. How much longer do I have to stay?"
With a pleased smile, Rumplestiltskin answers, "I'm sure we can expedite your departure. It would be a pity to let anything stand in the way of true love."
Relaxing a bit, Greg says, "Yeah, I miss her already."
"Rest easy, Mr. Mendell. I'm sure you can be on your way in no time."
Once back in his car, Rumplestiltskin disguising his voice to sound like Greg calls 'Her', who he suspects is Tamara.
When the call is answered, he speaks hesitantly, "Hey...how are things?
In a hurried, whisper, Tamara says, "Yeah, baby, can't talk right now, Neal just walked in."
"Hey Tamara, I brought home pizza.", Neal calls from the apartment entry way.
Rumplestiltskin heart nearly stops hearing his son, Baelfire...Neal speak.
Calling out to Neal, Tamara puts on her most pleasing voice, "That's great, honey. I'll be there in a minute...I'm on the phone taking a marketing survey."
In an agitated whisper she says into the phone, "I'll make an excuse to get away and call you back in an hour."
Trying to maintain his composure, Rumplestiltskin says in Greg's voice, "Good. I'll talk to you then."
Rumplestiltskin's mind reels, he recalls Emma talking about meeting Neal's fiancé, but to think that his son's fiancé is also having a relationship with the outsider, who took up residence in the Storybrooke Hospital seems much more than a coincidence.
He returns home, checking on Belle who is thankfully sleeping. Going to his study, he stares intensely at Greg Mendell's cell phone, awaiting Tamara's call. He fumes to think of his son with someone as treacherous as Milah. If only his magic could work in New York, he would turn her into a cockroach...it would be fitting. He takes a ragged breath, clearing his head, he must be better than that...for his son and for Belle, who is in dire need of someone she can trust.
He pounces like a cat, when the phone rings. Resuming his pretense to be Greg Mendell, he say, "Hey, did you have trouble getting away?"
Smugly Tamara says, "No, I pulled the old 'going to do laundry' trick. That always works like a charm...and is remotely true, since you and I end up agitating the sheets."
Rumplestiltskin cringes and fumes. At a lost for something to say, he mimics a lustful groan, while reminding himself that turning her into a cockroach is not on the table...no matter how enjoyable it might be. Though the charming Miss Swan may not be his first choice for his son, recalling fondly the blush of love between Baelfire and Morraine, Rumplestiltskin thinks, "Emma Swan is still a far superior option to the succubus to whom he is currently engaged."
He is broken out of his thoughts as Tamara says in more formal tone, "The Home Office flipped over the video you shot at the hospital. Neal's still out of sorts about his father and that woman...and his rug-rat. I'm playing dumb, while I comfort him. I'll suggest he go see his kid, and I'll come along for moral support. Those magic wielders in Storybrooke won't know what hit 'em...and you can have your revenge on Regina...and I can ditch numskull, Neal."
Rumplestiltskin fumes at her disrespect for his son, yet ears perk at the mention of Regina, and he says, "Yeah, it's still hard to believe what that bitch Regina did."
In a tone that sounds genuine concern, Tamara replies, "I know, baby. It's so unreal to be camping with your father, and suddenly a whole town appears out of nowhere. Then to have him taken captive by that unholy sorceress...you're lucky, you got away."
"Damn it, Regina!", he thinks as his jaw clenches.
He replies into the phone, "I think we need to change our plan. Neal will only slow us down...and I can't wait to get my hands on you. Break it off with Neal and come here alone...I found an amulet that will keep us undetected from the magic wielders."
With a tone of skepticism, she asks, "Are you sure? The Home Office was very specific about our original plan."
"Contact them and tell them you're going in deep and will be out of contact for a while."
"What if they object?", she counters uneasily.
In an authoritarian tone, he says, "Just follow the new plan. Everything will be set once you get here. Just call me, once you're about an hour away."
"Sure. I'll break up with Neal and head out in the morning.", she says as she feels a thrill from Greg's new 'take charge' attitude and then her voice becomes low and seductive, "Now say that thing you say...you know, when we're in bed."
Feeling awkward, repulsed and having no idea what the 'thing' is, Rumplestiltskin says, "Can't! Nurse is coming. Call me when you get close to Storybrooke. Bye.", and ends the call.
He pinches the bridge of his nose as a headache pounds. He then heads toward his bedroom to retire for the night.
The next day, after receiving a text from Tamara that she has indeed ended her relationship with Neal and is on her way, Rumplestiltskin calls Emma informing her that 'a little bird told him' that Neal's fiancé broke up with him. Dodging her questions of how he knows, he points out that now would be a prefect time to call his son, and coax him to come to Storybrooke to spend time with his young lad, Henry. She mentions the sudden departure of Greg Mendell and notes that the nurses noticed him skulking around Greg's room the night before. With a tone of irritation, he tells her that Greg has been having an affair with Neal's fiancé and being as vague as possible, states that it is imperative to get Neal to come to Storybrooke, so he can do what is needed to protect the town.
Belle's day begins by retching in the bathroom. Rumplestiltskin brings her tea and crackers to soothe her rebellious stomach. Later, they have a leisurely, light breakfast. They agree to go to her apartment at the library late that afternoon to collect more of her belongings, after Rumplestiltskin returns from an errand. Receiving a call from Tamara, Rumplestiltskin drives to the town border and waits.
He has magically created the illusion that his Cadillac is in fact Greg Mendell's car. His anticipation builds as a late model sedan drives across the border. The dark skinned woman with long black hair pulls her car to the side of the road. The tall, slender woman exits her vehicle hurriedly with a broad cocky smile.
Rumplestiltskin's magical disguise creates an unfortunate challenge, given that Greg is several inches taller than him, seeming to see both from his own vantage point and Greg's at the same time distorts his depth perception. The woman, who is almost as tall as Rumplestiltskin, rushes to him abruptly grabbing his collar, and as his lips part in shock trying to maintain the appearance of her lover, her mouth devours him in a kiss, plunging her tongue wantonly into his mouth.
Rumplestiltskin feels his face flush and contort in disgust to be kissed by someone other than Belle, someone whose tongue has been in both his son's and Greg's mouths, someone who means to do harm, and someone who has the most putrid tasting mouth he can imagine.
Stopping at a couple Welcome Centers on her drive to Storybrooke, Tamara had downed a few cups of black, fast-food coffee, an anchovy, garlic, scallion pizza and pickled eggs. Trying not to blow his cover, while trying to push away the ravenous assault, he wonders if he suddenly has Belle's morning sickness as his stomach clenches.
Repeatedly reminding himself not to turn her into a cockroach, he says breathlessly, "Now is not the time, babe.", hoping he picked a reasonable endearment that won't raise Tamara's suspicions. Though he could easily kill her, he is trying to stay connected to the man who Belle loves and respects, and who Baelfire had once put his faith in.
Taking a formal tone, Tamara says, "Home Office wasn't keen on this change of plans, but as long as we get the kid to Neverland, that's all they care about."
"Neverland?!", an alarm sounds in Rumplestiltskin's mind, and then he says, "Do you wonder why they want us to go to Neverland?"
Smugly Tamara says, "Someone there will help us destroy all magic; that's all that matters to me...to us."
Rumplestiltskin tries to control his expression...thinking the certain someone that he knows in Neverland must have big plans to which these fools are not privy. It is clear that Tamara targeted his son, and their engagement was a sham from the start. His blood boils with rage thinking of what Tamara's long term plans may have been for Baelfire, Neal, if he hadn't upended their scheme.
Tamara mistakes his intense expression for a different type of passion and launches herself at him again plunging her foul tongue full-throttle into his repulsed mouth, as her hand roughly grabs his bottom. He shoves her back harder than intended, shouting, "Enough!"
She looks at him suspiciously.
He covers by saying, "Tamara, anyone could see us. We don't want to jeopardize our plans."
That quells her suspicion, and she says, "Alright, what's with the amulet you told me about? I'm not sure about using something magical."
Snidely, he says, "But we'll be using magic to get to Neverland, won't we?"
She shrugs, "I suppose."
"Malevolent twit!", he thinks as he pulls a chain from his pocket.
At the end of the chain dangles a disc shaped object of gold with several stones encased in it and some arcane language inscribed out the outer most circumference. The disc begins to spin, entrancing Tamara, leaching all knowledge of the Home Office, Neverland, Storybrooke, and desire to destroy magic, as well as compelling her to return home to New York immediately and convince Greg that they should move to some remote part of the world. With a dazed expression, Tamara walks back to her car, starts the ignition, makes a U-turn, driving out of Storybrooke.
Though it galls him a bit to allow Greg and Tamara to go off and have a happy life, Rumplestiltskin breathes a sigh of relief to have that portion of the plan finished. However, he knows that the 'Home Office' and a certain someone in Neverland will not stop...it isn't Pan's way. Thus as soon as his son arrives in Storybrooke, Rumplestiltskin will cast a cloaking spell to forever hide Storybrooke from those outside who seek cause harm. He muses, certainly he still must contend with Regina, Cora and Hook, but at least they belong here more than Tamara, Greg and whatever force Pan has focused on Storybrooke...and the boy. He still has questions about Henry and the seer's prophecy about a boy being his 'undoing', but he will not have his hand forced by a bunch of outsiders.
When he returns home, he notices Belle has fallen asleep while reading on the couch. He goes into the bathroom, brushes his teeth and tongue, then gargles vigorously with mouth wash. As he spits out the mouth wash, he hears a familiar voice.
"You know, I think Gaston kissed me like that before...it was quite horrid."
Eyeing the vision of Belle still clad in her clothes from the day of the shooting, he says sarcastically, "Are you just here to mock me?"
With a thoughtful look, the vision of Belle says, "No...I don't think so. I think I'm here because you feel guilty.", and then with a mischievous smile she adds, "The mocking is just a perk."
He smirks, but then becomes sullen, "Magic comes with a price."
Thoughtfully, she says, "You don't have to you know...feel guilty, I mean. I know you weren't enjoying the kissing. You were saving the town...you 'took one for the team' as it were."
Rumplestiltskin rolls his eyes at the 'team' reference, and says, "I don't give a fig about the so call 'team'. It's you and my son that I care about."
In a soft nurturing tone, she tilts her head to the side and says, "I know darling...and you rid us of the imminent danger without doing harm to anyone. I'm proud of you. I know that temptation was great."
He finds himself reaching to stroke her cheek, just as he has countless times before, however there is no solid form there, just air. The vision of Belle holds up a hand in farewell and fades from view. A strangled cry escapes his throat, as he shuts his tear filled eyes.
Later that day, Rumplestiltskin and Belle go to Belle's library apartment to pick up a few things. The small apartment is sparsely, yet cheerfully decorated. An abundance of natural light flows through the window's open cerulean blue curtains, which are trimmed with small crystals that Belle had stitched on. The most predominant item of the décor is a large book shelf filled to capacity. Belle marvels that with a whole library down stairs, there is still a myriad of books in the apartment. It seems pleasant enough here, however nothing tugs at her memory, nor does it have the safe, comfortable feeling of Rumplestiltskin's house.
They go to Belle's bedroom to collect some clothes and other necessities. Belle picks up a piece of periwinkle blue stationary that is adorned at the corners with various types of yellow, purple and pink flowers. With a strange tone of awe in her voice, she begins to read aloud.
"January 13, 2013
My dearest little flower,
I have just barely been aware of your existence in the last few days, yet I already love you so. Though I have yet to receive medical confirmation of your existence, in my heart, I know you're here. I've been looking at pictures of what you might look like now, which appears to be something like a tadpole, though that will change rapidly.
This is your first lesson in life. Life is always fluid, ever changing, but one thing that will always be constant is mine and your papa's love for you. I'll tell you upfront, your life will not be 'normal', but that's alright; normal is for the unimaginative."
Belle smiles, half chuckling and then looks tentatively at Rumplestiltskin, who smiles warmly in return, remembering the day he had said those very words to Belle in response to her informing him that people had always thought her strange. She continues to read the letter written for their unborn child.
"A book I read says that you are currently the size of a poppy seed. The outer part of a poppy's blooms are sepals which are tough and prickly to protect the delicate, radiant beauty inside. Somehow that seems infinitely appropriate. In some ways, your papa reminds me of a poppy, though he'd scoff at being compared to a flower."
Belle spares another glance at Rumple, who gives an unconvincing smirk, which appears to be an attempt to cover an avalanche of emotion. He nods at her to proceed.
"I'll be telling your papa about you today. Until then, you're my precious secret. There are some things you should know about your papa. He is the only man I can imagine wanting to have a child with, for more reasons than I can list. He loves like no one I've ever met; deeper than any ocean and strong enough for confront the worst of storms. He'd probably say that is just a nice way of saying he's stubborn...and he is...very! But he loves in a way that withholds nothing and has no boundaries. He will love and adore you with his every breath. His love is unconditional, and even when you make choices he doesn't like, he will still love you. Not all father's are like that, but your papa is. You are blessed, my little flower.
Remember that when he is being irrational...perhaps if you're a girl, he may insist you can't date until you're thirty-five or older. If papa is being completely irrational and obstinate, I'll intercede for you, but know this, if he has good reasons for something to keep you safe, you will face a united front. So you might as well except it. We are here to love and care for you...for the rest of our lives.
Love,
Mama"
They stand silently for a moment. Belle wipes a tear from her eye, and with her peripheral vision at the corner of her eye, she can see Rumple looking like a bottled up fountain of emotion. Rumplestiltskin can barely breathe after hearing his beloved Belle talk to their child about him. His mind reels with the words she committed to paper. As he stares at a positive pregnancy test laying on a towel on Belle's dresser, he wishes he would have paid more attention that day, giving Belle the opening to tell him about their child.
As Rumplestiltskin logs in to Belle's laptop, to his surprise a video begins to play with Belle's beaming face looking at him from the computer screen. She speaks giddily to him, "Gotcha! Hello Rumple!", and she continues with a more serious tone, "I guess I left my laptop at your house again. I've been forgetting things a lot lately." Her eyes begin to gleam with excitement, as she says, "There's a reason for that. I have some really big news right now. If I've already told you,...", a huge emotion filled smile spreads across her face and radiates joy from her glistening tear brimming eyes. The image of Belle leans in closer, "...I just love you so much." Then wiping a stray tear from her eye, she adds with a playful lilt, "And if I haven't told you my news yet, I still love you so much. Now, go find me so I can tell you our news and show you how much I love you." Then she playfully orders, "Stop dawdling and find me. I probably need my laptop anyway.", and she leans in as if to kiss him, bringing her lips to the camera. A moment later, the video ends.
Rumplestiltskin feels as though he has forgotten how to breathe. He fights the urge to replay the video over and over again. His heart wants to become lost in the adoring expression and voice of his beloved Belle, but he must remember that Belle is right in the room with him, seeming overcome by the sight of the video.
With a trembling hand, Belle wipes the tears that are streaming down her cheeks. She feels profoundly sad, as well as guilty, as though she is an intruder on this private moment between Rumple and the woman she once was. Seeing her other self on the video, there is a mixture of anger and sadness in her heart. The other her was unabashedly happy. She cannot imagine what that feels like. She cannot remember the joy, yet she wants that joy. She wants to be her, but she fears she never will be...that she is merely an inferior copy. The other Belle was supposed to joyously tell the man she loves about their baby, instead she, an impostor, belligerently yelled the news at Rumplestiltskin berating him.
She chokes out, "I don't belong here. I feel like a thief. I've taken so much from you both. It's not fair. You had your lives in front of you, and I took it. I want to remember being her, but look at me, I'm not her. She knew what she wanted and who she was, and I'm just...just a mess. I don't know what it's like to be in love, yet she put her whole heart into it."
Rumplestiltskin strides over to her, wrapping his arms around her, stroking her hair, as she sobs into his shoulder, "You shouldn't be comforting me...you should be comforting her. She's too perfect! I can never be some paragon of virtue like her."
With a tone of loving resolve, he says, "I'm comforting you because you are the woman I love, whether you remember our past or not. You were never perfect, so get that notion out of your head right now."
She curiously tilts her head up to see him, "I wasn't."
With a warm chuckle that vibrates his chest, and her pressed against him, "Hardly. You were...are the most infuriating woman when you set your mind on something. You have plethora of annoying habits...each one of them I love, including your ice cold feet that used to always adhere themselves to my legs. You are not and never will be perfect, but you're perfect for me, and I will always love you."
Belle is at a loss for words, hence she simply gazes at him appreciatively. He hands her a tissue from the container on the dresser, and they quietly set about packing Belle's things to come home with him.
Once back at Rumplestiltskin's house, they arrange Belle's things in her room. Belle sits on her bed looking through a book of baby names that she found. Hesitantly, she begins to speak, "Rumple, would it be too terrible of me to ask you to call me something other than Belle?"
He looks at her with a bit of apprehension, "You could never be terrible...but why would you want that?"
"I know what you said about her...me, not being perfect, and it was all too lovely to express, but I feel like this name is a lot to live up to. There's so much expectation attached to it. I know I can't keep the whole town from calling me Belle, especially since we're pretending I remember, but just between us, it would be nice if I didn't have to try to live up to that name."
Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, he looks understandingly at her and asks, "What would I call you?"
She smiles softly at him, saying, "Well, eventually we'll need to pick a name for the baby, and there's a fair chance we'll have a girl, so what if I tried on some of the names from the book to see how we like them. I mean our child is going to have to live with the name we choose, so it's pretty important."
Though in his heart, she will always be Belle, he is intrigued by her logic, as always, and says understandingly, "Yes, names have power. Do you have in mind which name you'd like to try on first?"
"What about Aastha? The book says it means..."
He says knowingly, "Faith and trust."
Astonished, she asks, "How did you know?"
With a smirk, he declares, "Names are kind of my thing. I do believe that's a lovely choice, Aastha."
Belle/Aastha smiles appreciatively at his willingness to call her by her chosen name. She knows it must be difficult for him, because he sees her as Belle, which makes his concession to call her Aastha all the more meaningful.
"What's this?", she asks pointing to an unusual mark आस्था in the book.
"Given that the Aastha is of Hindi origin, it appears to be the Hindi spelling."
Impressed, she asks, "You speak other languages?"
He replies casually with a shrug of his shoulders, "Some. Although I haven't had a need for this language much. With magic, I can translate any language, should the need arise."
Marveling at the thought of communicating with people from far off lands, she observes, "That must be handy."
Sounding a bit blasé, he muses, "Perhaps. Though it means conversing with people, and I'm not really a people person...but deals must be made."
Her forehead crinkles ever so slightly in thought, as she declares, "I think you sell yourself short. You seem like a 'people person' to me. You're wonderful to talk to."
Smiling stroking his index finger under her chin, "That's because you are an exceptional person, my dear Aastha."
When going through Belle's things, Rumplestiltskin discovers that Belle, previous to the shooting, had scheduled a doctor's appointment which is planned for tomorrow. Though he does not hold much stock in science, he feels compelled to honor Belle's plans, thus he persuades a very reluctant Aastha (Belle) to keep the appointment. True to his promise that they would learn about this new adventure together that night, Rumple and Aastha take turns reading a pregnancy book which causes them both to blush from time to time, as well as provoking some nervous laughter. Once Aastha is in bed, he pulls his pajamas from the dresser, pausing to stare at the small black box containing the engagement ring that has been waiting for Belle's finger for months. Nothing is the way he had planned, he laments. He spends a few more hours reading the pregnancy book, not wanting to appear uninformed at the doctor's appointment tomorrow.
In preparation for Belle's appointment, given that they are trying to keep Belle's pregnancy a secret for now, Rumplestiltskin has arranged for them to arrive through a private entrance and ensured the utmost discretion of the staff, lest they feel his wrath. Additionally, he has made certain that neither Nurse Agnes, the severe nurse from the asylum, nor Doctor Whale will be anywhere near the location of Belle's appointment. Her appointment is with Doctor C. D. Lumière. Before the doctor arrives, Nurse Potts, a robust woman with strawberry blonde curls piled on top of her head, ushers Rumplestiltskin and Belle into the exam room. Nurse Potts has Belle sit on the exam table, while she checks Belle's blood pressure. Meanwhile, Rumplestiltskin uneasily eyes a plastic model of a woman's uterus with a fetus growing inside. He thinks to himself how much easier it was in their world, not knowing all the 'ins and outs' of such things. Belle nervously looks around the room. It all seems extremely intimidating.
The nurse looks at Belle's chart and asks, "So when was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?"
Belle freezes at the question. Seeing that she obviously doesn't know, because of the amnesia, yet is expected to know because of their ruse about Belle having her memory back, Rumplestiltskin stands behind the nurse and mouths the date...thankful that he actually paid attention to such things.
Belle says shakily, "December eighteenth.", glances at Rumplestiltskin who nods, and she sighs with relief.
"Your systolic BP is up. You need to relax, dear. Now, go next door, and there will be a cup to leave a urine sample.", instructs the nurse.
Rumplestiltskin crinkles his nose.
Nurse Potts continues, "Once you're done with that, you're going to come back in here, undress from the waist down and use that paper blanket on the table to cover yourself and put your feet in these stirrups.", gesturing to the metal devises at the end of the table. She cheerfully adds, "And then Doctor Lumière will be in to see you shortly."
Rumplestiltskin reminds himself to stand by Belle's head, to allow her some modesty when the exam commences. His stomach knots with each passing moment.
Belle's anxiety is building by the moment. Nobody asks what she wants; they just tell her to do things. She feels out of control..."Is this what it will be like for the rest of the pregnancy?", she wonders.
Noticing a device that looks like a computer, but with some strange wand like attachment, Belle asks, "What's this?"
Nurse Potts says, "That's the ultrasound machine. It will show us your baby. Which the wee ones I've seen this early always remind me of ducklings.", she chuckles warmly.
Remembering his previous night's reading, Rumplestiltskin chimes in, "They'll put some gel on your belly and slide that thing across your belly."
With a slight look of condescension, Nurse Potts corrects, "Actually, that's not quite right. It's much too early for an external ultrasound. Doctor Lumière will need to insert the transducer inside you to see what we want to see."
Belle's eyes grow wide staring at the nurse, while Rumplestiltskin tries to quell his urge to yell, "Nobody's sticking anything inside my Belle, down there!"
Belle swallows hard, breathing out the word, "Inside?"
Nurse Potts says in a sensible manner, "Don't worry dear. It's not that bad. It's not the first time you've been probed..." giving Rumplestiltskin a sideways glance, "...and this time you don't have a man grunting and sweating over you."
His eyes flare with anger, "How dare you! You do know who I am, right?!"
Unconcerned, Nurse Potts folds her arms in front of her, replying, "Yes, of course, but in here, a you're all the same. Never met a man yet who could stomach this stuff. That's why it's left to the women."
Feeling the desire to launch into a tirade at this supercilious woman, he spies Belle from the corner of his eye, appearing upset. Thus he swallows his rage, taking a calm tone, saying, "See darling, nothing to worry about, and we'll get to see our baby."
Belle's gaze then falls to the instrument tray. Peering in fear at a metal instrument, she asks in a shaky, yet accusatory tone, "And what's that?!"
Nurse Potts, realizing that this news will not go over well, hesitantly chooses her words carefully as she says with false cheer, "That is the speculum, dear. Doctor Lumière will use it to...to hold things open, to look inside you to see how you are progressing."
With her voice becoming shrill, Belle exclaims, "That is going to be inside me! It looks like metal salad tongs!"
Trying to push back his own feelings of how 'uncivilized' the notion of that instrument is, Rumplestiltskin tries to calm Belle, "Sweetheart, it will be alright. I'll be here the whole time holding your hand."
Belle voice reaches an even higher pitch, "Alright?...alright?! What do YOU know about it?! I'm a woman, not a GARDEN SALAD!"
Rumplestiltskin has a strange thought occur to him, though Regina and Cora can rip out a heart with their hands, he suspects that Belle in this upset state with raging pregnancy hormones, could possibly burn a hole into his skull with her eyes.
He is pulled from his strange thoughts, when Belle announces, "I'm going home!"
In a moment of haste, he says, "Wait, Belle, I'm sure it won't be that bad.", immediately realizing his error.
Belle walks right up to him and says in a low growl, "You're sure?! Well, if you like it here so much, you can stay and let them shove that up YOU! I'm going home!", and with that she turns on her heel striding out the door, while Nurse Potts snickers behind Belle's chart.
Rumplestiltskin gives the woman a death glare, then moves quickly to catch up to Belle, as Nurse Potts shakes her head in amusement.
Rumplestiltskin catches up with Belle right outside the building. Tears have begun to stream down her face.
"Belle wait!", he calls, but she keeps walking with her arms wrapped protectively around herself. He makes up the distance between them, pleading quietly so only she will hear, "Aastha, please!"
She stops and turns abruptly towards him, and says in a voice full of frustration and pain, "I told you I wasn't ready, but you had to push. What's wrong with you?! Why do you always have to push?!"
He is visibly wounded by her words, as he says in a hushed tone, "I'm sorry."
She observes the hurt in his eyes, but right now, she just doesn't care. This is all too much for her. She knows she will later feel horribly for lashing out at him, but now, she can't feel anything except anger, fear, and frustration over so many things beyond her control. They drive home in silence.
Upon returning, Belle stomps up to her room and slams the door. In a corner of her mind, she realizes that this must be what a rebellious adolescent behaves like, not a woman in her thirties; unfortunately her mind is spinning too much to care. She turns on the stereo and lays on her bed and sobs.
Rumplestiltskin chastises himself for being such a damn fool. He knew that she was frightened to go see the doctor, yet he had indeed pushed and cajoled her into believing it would be fine. "Idiot!", he berates himself. He worries about the damage he may have done to their relationship...the trust that they were beginning to build.
An hour later, Rumplestiltskin climbs the stairs to Belle's room with a cup of chamomile tea in hand. As he ascends, he hears the song, "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk and Nate Ruess playing.
Melodic piano strains can be heard as the female singer vocalizes,
"...I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh
Things you never say to me, oh, oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love..."
He taps on the door and waits. Hearing no objections, he hesitantly opens the door. Belle stares unresponsively at the ceiling. Though she is no longer crying, her eyes are puffy and red from the flood of emotion that escaped her in the last hour.
He stands in the doorway surveying her, as the drum beat of the music kicks in.
"...Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again..."
He puts her tea on the nightstand. She spares a glance at him, looks back up at the ceiling, and then squeezes her eyes tightly shut, as he exits the room.
Several minutes later, as he sits on his bed with his head in his hands, there is a very faint tap at his door. He is too caught up in the chaos within his mind to notice it. He is jolted out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. He looks up to see Belle once again teary eyed, with her brow furrowed and her lips quivering and she chokes out a very broken sounding, "I'm sorry."
He pulls her hand from his shoulder and cups it between his two artfully elongated hands, and says, "It's no matter, love. You were right...I shouldn't have pushed."
Belle says cautiously, "I think she's wrong...the nurse I mean. I don't think men are all alike. You've been so strong throughout all of this. I don't like the way she talked to you."
Sarcastically, he says, "Perhaps she'd be of more use as a tea pot."
Belle gives a faint chuckle at his quip. After a moment he says, "Aastha, tell me what's wrong."
Her voice cracks with emotion, "I can't remember."
He looks at her tenderly and says in a warm tone, "I know, sweetheart, but we'll get through it."
Shaking her head adamantly, "No, you don't understand.", she closes her eyes tightly for a moment, pushing down the anger and embarrassment to find the words to explain herself. She opens her eyes, but looks away from him as she says slowly, "I don't remember conceiving this baby...our baby. It feels so wrong not to remember that.", and then she takes a deep breath trying to steel herself to say the rest, "I don't remember ever being intimate. I don't remember my first time. That vile doctor's instrument is going to be my first time. I don't want that!"
Rumplestiltskin remembers her first time...their first time, vividly, as it was mere weeks ago. He tries to process what it must feel like for his darling Belle to have no memory of such a life altering moment.
Tears flow heavily down her face, "What if I never remember, and the only memory of a first time that I have is a cold piece of metal probing me? I know I'm far from a perfect person, but don't I deserve a better memory than that?"
His face contorts in confusion and worry, trying to know how to make this better for her as his mind is a whirlwind thinking just how horrified she must feel at this moment. Stroking her hand, almost to the point of pain, he gapes at her, "Are...are you saying? Do you want us...?" He's afraid to be explicit in his question, for fear of frightening her, offending her...or just hearing what her answer is.
She pulls her hand from his, finally looking at him, and she rakes her hand unsteadily through his hair. After several breaths, she says in a tone that reveals just how lost she feels, "Yes...I mean, maybe...I just don't know...but maybe yes."
Before he can respond, she turns and walks out of his bedroom. Rumplestiltskin then hurls himself backwards on the bed and stares at the ceiling. He tries to figure out how he feels about this development...how Belle would feel about this...but she is Belle...he knows it in his heart. His head pounds, knowing that life just got a lot more complicated.
Author's Note: Poor Belle...poor Rumple...this is all so confusing for them both. That's why I chose Aastha (faith and trust) as the theme of this chapter because that is what they are building towards. Given that this was originally a one-shot fic, I'm considering changing the name...what do you all think?...Keep it as "What's Next?", or change it to "Aastha" or to something else? Thoughts? Please leave a review/comment/suggestion...I love to read your thoughts on my stories. If you have any requests/prompts for scenes, pregnancy related or otherwise, I'll take them into consideration and see if they work with the story I have planned.
As promised, a lot happened in this chapter...Belle got to have her first 'nice' kiss in memory...there will be more...Pre-shooting-Belle wrote a letter for her baby and made a video for Rumple...then of course, there was Vision Belle's editorial commentary...when I planned this chapter, Vision Belle did not exist, but as I wrote the hospital scene, she just showed up...I think she's making up for the lack of screen time on OUAT. LOL! What were your thoughts on Belle's appointment? It took me a while to figure out who to have as her doctor and nurse, because I didn't want Whale or Severe Nurse (Agnes) any where near Babystiltskin. I found myself laughing manically when I thought of the line "I'm a woman, not a GARDEN SALAD!", even though Belle was upset at the time. I know we didn't get to see Doctor C. D. Lumière in this chapter...Belle was due for a meltdown, and I'm still working out how I want to bring him in...I welcome your suggestions.
Sorry to anybody who was creeped out by Tamara kissing Rumple. I never like him being kissed by anyone but Belle...however, it was his sacrifice (his price) for his part in the Dark Curse, and it ultimately enticing Greg and Tamara to Storybrooke to destroy magic. Plus in most fics, it's a woman that has to put up with being mauled by someone she has no desire to kiss...so as a representative of the Y chromosome, I had Rumple take one for the team. And as you might have guessed, Rumple will not be going to Neverland in this story. He's staying with Belle where he belongs. Thanks to my Facebook friends who helped me figure out something nasty to have Tamara eat before the kiss...'black, fast-food coffee, an anchovy, garlic, scallion pizza and pickled eggs'...yikes!...my husband says I was cruel to Rumple...yeah, I kind of was. Thank you again to thewordgirl /u/4535500/ an amazing FFnet writer in her own right, for her beta efforts on this chapter!
About the song, "Just Give Me A Reason", I heard it last week and immediately thought of RumBelle. Then I found out there is an excellent RumBelle YouTube to it: /watch?v=aev2EnpDwPA BTW, if any video makers are reading this, if you also want to make a RumBelle video to that song, and include what ever the amazing RumBelle scenes are in tomorrow's "Lost Girl" OUAT episode, I'd LOVE to see it! BTW, there is a wonderful YouTube interview /watch?v=0bVqFfB398w with Emilie de Ravin taking on questions about why Belle loves RumpleGold, and gives her view on Lacey vs. Belle. Emilie said so many things that in my heart, I believed to be true about Belle and her views on RumpleGold, as well as Lacey. I think it's a great interview for fic writers to watch...plus Emilie's just awesome! One more day til new OUAT RumBelle! *Happy dance!* :)