Lin shot up from her sleep covered in sweat.
Where was she?
This looked like her old room back at home but what exactly was she doing here?
She pulled the covers from her and got up from the bed, her old pajamas? What was going on? What was she doing here? She hadn't been back here since she joined with the Saints or was it before then? She was never really welcomed there anyways, what did it matter when she left? It's not like they cared. She walked out of the bedroom and looked around for anyone.
"Jason! Mom! Dad! Lily!", she walked down the stairs, why was it so cold.
What was she even doing here? Did Sharp just knock her out and dump her in front of her parents house? Or worse had he taken them?! Her heart began to pound. She hated her family but would never want any harm to them. Lily and her Mom, they wouldn't be untouched, that much she knew.
She needed a weapon.
She ran to the kitchen and pulled out a knife.
"Is anybody here?!", she looked around some more.
"Fuck it!", she made her way to the front door and when she opened it she almost fainted.
The universe?
Impossible!
"Lin, come on!", was that Lily?
Lin turned around to see her family in the backyard.
Jason, carrying his newborn, Dad, taking care of the barbecue, Mom, playing with the dogs, and Lily...with her only arm ushering Lin to come over.
She opened the sliding door and step outside.
"We've been waiting for you", Lily hugged her.
Her mother turned towards her and scowled.
"Yes, now that the ungrateful bitch is here we can finally eat.", her Mother walked closer to her.
She hated this woman with all her heart, even now she was starting with her, and she'd only just got here!
"If you don't want me here, I can go, it isn't a problem.", Lin turned to leave but Lily held her hand tight.
"Of course you would, that's what you do best isn't it? Fucking whore, is that where you ran off to? An alley to give blowjobs for an ounce of cocaine?", he brother glared at her.
"I never touched that stuff!", now she remembered why she hated them, except Lily, sweet, innocent Lily.
Now it was her Father's turn to insult her.
"But you are a whore, remember when I caught that good for nothing Dylan fucking you from behind like the bitch you are?", he threw water in her face.
She stood there.
Embarrassed, broken, defeated, there was no winning against their attacks, there never was.
She looked down at Lily ,who looked on the verge of tears.
"I'm not a child anymore! I don't have to take the bullshit you assholes like to throw at me every five seconds, all of you can go choke on a dick for all I care! I'm out of here", Lin turned around and made her way to the sliding doors only for her to fall in a pit of blackness.
She landed on the beach.
"Ugh!", she spat sand out of her mouth.
What the fuck is going on? Is this hell?
"Why on Earth would you be sent to hell?".
Lin turned around to the sound of the voice.
"It cant be...Jasmine? Is that you?", her eyes swelled with tears and her throat full of emotion.
She walked slowly towards her, to afraid she would disappear if she was rushed her approach.
"Yes Lin its me", Jasmine closed the gap and hugged her.
"This isn't Hell after all, you would never be sent to hell, you look exactly the same.", Lin burst in tears no longer capable of holding them any longer.
Jasmine shook her head.
"Please don't cry Lin, don't let their words get you, your not what they say you are.", she kissed her forehead.
Lin looked up at her, it really was her, she always trying to make her feel better.
"It's not them, its you. How is this possible? Am I dead? Are you taking me away?", she wiped her tears away.
"No, your not dead but you are in grave danger. The things you've been through...I am so sorry Lin-", Lin pushed away from her.
"Don't! Sorry's don't do me any good Jasmine, you should know that".
"You never change, do you? Always so angry at everyone, when are you going to stop?", Jasmine stepped closer.
"When people stop screwing with me! When I'm free from all this bullshit! I hate everyone! Fuck everybody!", Lin couldn't control the anger boiling in her.
"If you would give people a chance then you would know there are an equal amount of good people as there is bad, if only you would let people in. Lin, please stop this. Let go of your anger and forgive your family.", she flinched when Lin raised her fist at her.
Lin stopped, what was she doing? Hitting Jasmine? She would never. She could never.
Just breath.
She could never forgive them. Never.
"If you knew all that I suffered than you would not say that to me. Your my only family. They just wanted checks.", Lin focused on her anger.
Jasmine approached and put her hands on Lin's shoulders.
"I have seen it all Lin, everything leading up to this moment, I have seen. The way they abused you, the girls that got you drunk and left you naked in the school field, all the horrible boyfriends, the first time you killed, even Sharp...I have seen and I think you need to forgive yourself more than anything before you can have any real life and any real relationship.", Jasmine lifted her face to look in her eyes.
"I don't need anyone but myself. I've kept myself alive for this long and I can do it until I die from old age.", Lin pulled away from her.
Jasmine slapped her.
"Stop it! Your big sister is telling you to let go! Forgive yourself! You couldn't help any of those things, you've held on to the anger for long enough Lin, it's time to let it go and now. You will not awaken otherwise."
Awaken?
"Awaken? What is this limbo? My anger is the only thing that has been protecting me and I am so sick of everything I could not care less if I died right now.", Lin turned around and began to walk away.
Jasmine followed.
"Don't you see a problem with that way of thinking? Your young and yet you want to die in a trunk of a car? You haven't even lived your life to it's fullest potential! Stop walking and listen to me!", Jasmine stopped walking.
"Your dead! You cant tell me what to do! Your the reason I'm like this in the first place. My own sister left me all alone to fend for myself! How was I suppose to view the world?!", Lin didn't turn around, she didn't want to Jasmine to see her cry.
"I was sick Lin ,what could I do? It was out of my control, out of your control, there was nothing to be done.", Jasmine grabbed her hand.
"You could have not gotten sick! Taught me how to read! How to tie my shoes, tell me to avoid all those horrible boys, not to drink with those bitches, protected me from Sharp, you could have been there for me!", Lin turned to face her.
"You talk about forgiving myself? I cant even forgive you. I just wanted you there? I needed you!", she crouched on the sand and cried in her hands.
"I'm sorry Lin. Your right, I wasn't there to protect you. I would have loved to teach you how to tie your shoes, tell you that your outfit is a bit to much, and everything that a big sister does. I know you hate me saying it but I am so sorry, now that you have vented your feelings I would like it if you would forgive me, would you Lin? Would you forgive me?", Jasmine crouched on the sand in front of her.
Lin slapped her with all her strength.
"Yes"
Lin laughed, screamed, laughed again, cried, kicked the sand in anger.
"I forgive you Jasmine.".
Jasmine smiled, "I love you Lin, now please wake up.".
Lin covered her eyes from the brightness that engulfed her.