Marlene had just denied Skipper of marriage. Everyone was shocked, and Kowalski was secretly ecstatic.
Yet, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. Even though the woman that he loved was leaving the man that she loved for reasons that are yet to be revealed, he still felt bad that the man that she loved was, in fact, his best friend.
But who cares, right? He'd probably be getting laid soon!
Suddenly, Kowalski used science to make everyone in the story human, because it would be pretty fucking disgusting for two animals of different species to have intercourse. Plus, one of them doesn't even have a dick. But now he does!
After Marlene ran away from the altar, leaving Skipper crying (what a fucking baby), she found Kowalski in the back of the chapel.
"I've always loved you," she explained, her lips inviting his to create contact.
And they did.
They kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and then had sweet furry sex.
The whole affair turned sour. Kowalski and Skipper terminated their friendship, and eventually, he was forced to relocate to another team of humanized-penguins. But, it didn't matter, because he could take Marlene with him. The two lived happily ever after, and had three penguin-otter-human babies.
Suddenly, Private stole Kowalski's underwear.
The end