I need to explain my absence: I have been depressed.
I have had a stressful, sugar fuled think about my life and chose to slow down and I will only update these stories when I feel the urge to do so. Sometimes the next day, sometimes the next week, sometimes the next second. It will vary as I get my life back in order and start to prioritise homework over followers and reviews.
But the lord of bad puns is back and with never-before-seen footage of a chinchilla dancing to 'ride of the Valkyries'. Or just a new story.
Disclaimer: I own pokemon by night but until then I am a reporter working for a major metropolitan newspaper. (Pulls up collar of coat) The FBI are on to me.
Men are baffled by the vastness of eternity. And so they ask themselves will strangers hear our names long after were gone and wonder about who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved. Extract from Troy. A lone man looked at this engraving from the first settlers of Sinnoh on the large jagged rock from Mt Coronet as a figure walked up behind him.
"We need help." The honourable king Cyrus of Sinnoh mumbled angrily. "Big help."
He was standing in a beautiful stone throne room with marble busts and acrylic paintings of past rulers lining the walls, a long red carpet stretching from one end to the other and with two golden thrones placed on a slightly raised bit, the royal throne room of the castle of Twinleaf.
"I'm sure the Captain can get a protector or bodyguard for our daughter." His wife, Queen Johanna, reassured the stressed King.
"Would you trust a simple soldier with only two and a half brain cells to guard our daughter, my dear, but who would be a suitable candidate, if not of the Sinnoh military?"
"Could it not be the captain herself?" Johanna asked her now pacing husband.
"No, the Captain and the other officers have their hands full with the aero-pirates attacking our staraptor messengers.
"Father!" A young girl only aged around 18 yelled. "I have found someone that could help!"
The King sighed. "No, Paul is not going to be your bodyguard."
"No, not him!" Dawn said dismissively of her current crush, a young lieutenant with a slight lack of emotions as she raised a massive leather book up, nearly collapsing as she does. "Look here."
The king glanced at the book and what he saw did fill all categories, except for one small problem... "Did you even attend your history classes?" Dawn looked sheepishly up at the mighty king. "The fact that there all dead is a little bit of a problem."
"No, look at the family tree!" She yelled in excitedly, flipping the pages as she does.
The king studied the family tree. He followed the only Guardians to have kids all the way to a name he knew, Sir Aaron. He followed the line one space more and read the name.
"Hmmmm, so Sir Aaron had a son before he passed away, but it doesn't even have his portrait or any helpful things, only his name." Cyrus grumpily muttered.
"Well, I talked to Brock about it and he says he thinks he's tracked him down." Dawn squeals in excitement.
"So, were is he."
"From my deductions and a few rumours he's in Hearthrome City." Brock smiled as he entered the room, bowing to the Monarchy and smiling at the young and excitable princess. "My liege."
"Brock, You're practically my son there's no need for such formalities." The king muttered as he mused over the information, with great hope for this young man's assistance. "And what motivation would he have to help us."
"From what I know he's a traveling mercenary. Pay him a pretty penny and he'll follow you to the ends of the earth and up to the gates to tartarus." Brock smiled.
"Hmmm, moneys no use to a dead man." Johanna spoke up tired of only speaking once.
"He's as close to invincible as you can get, they say he can hit an arrow with a smaller arrow riding a horse wearing a blindfold." Brock informed the royalties in a matter of fact style. "He surpasses normal human limits in skill of sword, bow, lance, throwing knives, crossb-"
"Deploy a company of guards to find him and hire him." The King finally bellowed with hope, knowing that he would either be expensive or busy. "And send the Captain along with them."
Barracks
"Right!" An instructive voice yelled to a group of royal elite soldiers. "I want seven Rhyhorn bridled and saddled with rations to get us comfortably to Hearthrome City!"
"Weapons, sir?" A grunt asked.
"Fully armed, Swords, crossbows, axes, the usual."
"And what are we lookin for?"
"A man, known to the toffs as the Last Guardian, but to you lot as the Headhunter... Why do you call him that, anyway?" The Captain asked as a soldier handed over a crossbow and then immediately checked its cross heirs (Sights).
"Whenever he kills somebody who's a high ranking officer or noble he decapitates them and gives the head to the next in command or in line as an intimidation tack tick." The veteran replied.
"Oh, joy of joys." The Captain sighs "If he attacks us and we lose, I'll have my head given to poor Sgt Volkner."
The company mount there surprisingly fast Rhyhorn and sped down the road. The arrived Five days later in Hearthrome City. The company ask around until they find a inn to ask for a hedding, the 'Right Royal inn' the sigh above the door read. They enter and there Captain yells "Ok you drunken pigs, by order of your king: GET OUT!"
All get up and leave until only one man his face hidden in the shadows with his boots up on the table remains, seemingly oblivious to the order.
"Didn't you hear me you drunken sod: get out!" The Captain orders again, as one of the men walks towards him about to grab the hilt of his sword.
"Ah." He warns as the soldiers see the tip of a crossbow bolt come into the light, glinting a little in the spray of light from the cracked shutters. "I wouldn't touch that if I were you boy-o."
Another grunt walks towards him with his helmet removed. Right before touching the shadowy figure, the man's hand grabs the soldiers head and slams it into the wooden table.
The Captain draws her sword and lunges forward with suppressing speed.
"Oh, hey there beautiful." Addressing The Captain as he dodges the blade "Let's dance."
He succeeded in infuriating The Captain and used her blind-rage blundering swipes to kick her leg out from underneath her and, after jabbing her thigh with his dagger, lunged forward and punches the first soldier in the face. Blood spurts out and his sudden pain opens his defence for a round house kick, sending him flying backwards in to the second soldier who was draw a weapon. As the last four strike he kicks a table forward into one of them and hits another with a chair, rendering him unconscious. He parries a stab to the torso and grabs the soldier in a choke hold until he falls to the ground unconscious like the other four. The last one looks at him before lashing out with a fist towards the face. The man dodges and lets the poor soldier continue his momentum until he hit his head on a decorative shield.
He turns to the Captain and begins his calculating in bullet fast time.
'Examination, right leg temporally disabled from kicking or supporting upper body alone, left arm has wrist cramp, stops any repeated punches. First point of attack, land a punch to right leg, next gain elevated advantage , now lower ability to breathe deeply, lastly pin to ground to avoid ranged or short bladed weapons being used.' He thought and then, ran forward, punched her right legs wound causing it to buckle under her, he then kicked the back of her left legs knee causing her to fall to the ground, as she fell he broke the side plating that covered her lung on her breast plate compacting in her chest stopping her from oxygenating her blood effectively, he then pounced on her as she reached for the crossbow that lay on the rowan-wood floor nearby.
The Captain stared as long blond strands fell down her sweaty face. 'Seven trained soldiers knocked out in fifteen seconds flat.'
"Heh, that was mildly fun, but fun times over." The man said to himself as he drew a knife and held it to The Captains throat. "Try any funny business and I will gut you like a fish... Now what do you want."
"W-we had orders to hunt down the mercenary known as Ash Ketchum." The Captain replied as a thin dribble of blood trickled down her neck from where the knife was held. "To hire him for a job from the king."
"Hmm, well I know where he is." The man lowered the knife.
"Were is he."
"Here."
"You mean..."
"Yes, I'm the alleged last of the Aura Guardians". And I was a little disappointed by your performance back there, Grand Dutchess Cynthia of the Sinnoh elite, infantry and mounted forces."
Cynthia lifted herself up and smiled slightly as this boy, only half her age, stared at her, with a cold hard stare, but she noticed that her attention was drawn to his dazzling electric blue eyes, eyes that concealed great pain and sorrow of his past. "I take it you have your own mount?"
"Yes."
"And do you accept the job?"
"Maybe."
"And will you uphold the job down to your grave if necessary?"
"Depends on the job."
He rode away towards the Castle of Twinleaf. He knew that it would only take a few hours on Spiro, his Rapidash, and it would take that time for all the guards to at least come round.
"Well Pikachu, we must speak to the king, 'by royal command'. He added the last three words with immense sarcasm.
Hello readers,
I just wanted to mention that in each chapter I will quote or have a very clear reference to a film that I like. It could be a whole chunk parodied to my liking or just a simple line or quote. To answer leave a view and next chapter I will tell you.
Soooo, whats that film-imon?