Blue Eyes and Butterflies

by Novus Ars

Naruto is dragged away from everything he knows by the Kyuubi to a new world frightfully similar to his own but major things have changed and, worse, he is forgetting everything he had once known, some of which could be helpful in this new world. femNaru - This will not be finished. I was asked to put this back up as is.

9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: To be the Clouds

Wheezing coughs exploded uncontrollably out of the little white haired girl as she fell to the matted floor. One of the older girls in class stumbled away from her squealing about getting sick. Naoko scowled up at her, not quiet believing that she was the same person who had beaten her in the spar a moment before.

"Naoko go home." Blue eyes jerked up and widely stared at her sensei. "Get some rest and don't come back until you're better."

"But-"

"No buts." Funeno-sensei turned around and called for another pair to spare. Naoko pouted over at him before leaving the academy attached dojo. Why did she have to get sick when spars finally began? Naoko grumbled quietly to herself as she rubbed her flaming red nose across her sleeve. She was going to show everyone that she wasn't just some tiny little kid! Believe it! They had to accept her then. Naoko stilled before shaking her head. Itachi's warnings squashing any Naruto like plans from her mind.

Wondering slowly back to the orphanage Naoko decided quiet firmly that being sick really, really sucked. She couldn't do anything. Naoko glared up at the orphanage at the end of the street. It didn't help that most of her time was spent doing nothing in that building since none of the caretakers would let her train. The only time she could get real training, and not just mediating, was at school or the rare times she got in trouble enough to be sent to the time out room where she could escape to Itachi's training field.

Blue eyes suddenly lit up. She didn't have to go to the orphanage now. Sensei hadn't actually told her to go immediately. With that the little three year old scrambled towards a familiar training field. It was time to do some proper training, finally.

"What are you doing?"

Naoko stilled guilty for a second before turning to find Buta standing lazily over her. She hadn't seen Buta in ages. Which reminded her that she was supposed to go find Toshi-san at some point. Naoko pouted up at the ANBU, maybe she could get him to just leave her alone?

Buta sighed heavily. "You look like crap kid. Shouldn't you be sleeping somewhere?"

Naoko folded her arms in front of her stubbornly. "I'm going to go train, dude!"

"Troublesome... Come on, you can train with me then." Blue eyes went huge. Naoko latched onto the outstretched hand and happily allowed herself to be dragged off towards a distant training field.

All the possible training she was going to get bounced through her mind. The possibilities were near endless. This was a elite shinobi willing to train her when he must be on duty as he was in full uniform. Oh, maybe he'd show her how to use his katana or maybe an awesome jutsu. It was possible that he'd teach her some slick ANBUy skill that only ANBU ever get to learn. Or perhaps he could teach her ho-

"Right, sit down. Do you know the rules?"

Naoko jerked out of her thoughts. She looked down and stared for a second before looking up incomprehensibly at the ANBU. "What?"

Buta heaved as heavy sigh, "Troublesome. Do I actually have to teach you the rules?"

The little white haired girl stared at the ANBU helplessly before finally asking, "Couldn't you teach me a super awesome jutsu instead?"

The ANBU knelt before the Go board and stared back over at her. "No. That's too troublesome."

Naoko bite her lip before trying again, "Don't you have a patrol or something, dude?"

"No, I just haven't bothered changing out of my clothes." Buta pulled out the black and white pebbles. "White or black? And stop calling me dude."

Naoko sighed before kneeling at the other side of the board. "Black." She stated as she rubbed her red nose across her sleeve again. There goes her chance at training.

A few minutes later Buta asked blandly, "Are you even trying at this?"

The three year old stared wide eyed down at the board. She had lost in under five minutes. That was so unfair. Naoko voiced her objection. She was three and when she had played this against her Otou-san she had lasted way longer than this. Of course, they had stopped playing pretty quickly.

The ANBU said back in answer to her objections, "I play to win. So I play to survive. You're not even trying."

"What? How's winning a game with stones surviving?"

"Think of the pebbles as people who's survival is in your hands and your goal is to finish the game with as many of them alive as possible while also winning using as few of them as you can." Buta quietly instructed Naoko on the rules of Go and of strategy. The concepts her Otou-san had described to her slowly came back over the course of the hour. She might have been able to remember the dream perfectly, but it didn't mean she had been paying attention to her Otou-san's instructions when she was still getting over the fact that he, Senju Tobirama, was her father.

The next serious game Naoko played against Buta she survived for a whole ten minutes. While that didn't seem all that great to Naoko, Buta did remind her that that was over twice as long as her first time. Most of the morning faded away as Naoko struggled to understand and then implement Go strategy all the while Buta leaned back and watched the clouds role by before moving one of his pieces at a glance of the board. It was nearing lunch when Naoko's thoughts began moving away from the board and over everything she needed to learn: The bunshin technique, her butterflies, how to sense chakra, and so much more.

"Naoko," Blue eyes looked up and she paused as a bento box was held out to her. "Your mind's wandering and that means meal time."

The little girl moved over to sit besides the ANBU and lean against the tree he sat in front of. Naoko silently picked at the food as she dully thought of everything she still needed to learn and to do. There was so much at stake and here she was doing nothing.

"Heavy thoughts aren't for the young."

Naoko looked up at the man, if only he knew. Chewing on some teriyaki chicken Naoko's mind wondered over everything again until, finally, she muttered out to herself, "How do you sense chakra?"

The little girl jumped at Buta's voice as he answered her unintended question, "Instead of looking inside yourself you look outside yourself."

A frown stretched across the little girl's face and she complained loudly, "But that's where the omni-omipon-omnipotent chakra is!"

"Really now kid, you're just sensing everyone's chakra around you. You got to dig deep and separate them." Naoko stared dubiously at the pig ANBU. She could distinctly remember the chakra. Naoko had felt its vastness. She just knew that she could get lost in the chakra if she just reached out and touched it. That chakra just didn't seem human.

Yet, maybe, Buta was right. The chakra could just be everyone's chakra around her feeling like one big mass. Naoko looked down at the bento box in her hands. It just didn't seem right.

AUAU

"-hat you mean? A message actually came back with a response?"

Naoko wrinkled her nose and burrowed into the warmth besides her. Stupid people interrupting her sleep should die. A cool breathe of air teased white strands of hair across the little girl's cheek, making her shiver.

"That's right. A cease fire has been instated. The peace talks are to begin in a week."

Naoko mentally growled. Couldn't they move out of her room. Something brushed her hair out of her face. Blue eyes blurringly opened into a glare to find her face pressed against black clothe. She slowly looked up to find herself looking at Buta. His hand was resting on her head.

"Where?"

The little girl turned, still half awake, to find the bento box half eaten besides her and a pair of legs some feet away. Following them upward revealed a young, frowning, familiar man. It was Monkey in casual clothing. So Toshi would be the proper name for him, Naoko mentally reminded herself. Toshi looked down at her in faint concern and maybe some amusement. It took a minute for Naoko to realize that she was hugging Buta's leg. The little girl frowned at the familiarity of it, not knowing that she had done so months before in the hospital. Toshi turned to Buta before he spoke, "Here. I'll take Naoko-chan back to the orphanage. it's getting late and she should be sleeping in a bed."

"Ah." Muttered Buta in agreement.

Naoko thanked Buta and allowed herself to be dragged away. Her clouded mind not realizing what she heard and its implications till much later. Once she realized, all she could think of was what the peace talks could possibly mean for the academy schedule. In two weeks there was a graduation test for all academy students believing themselves prepared but could she be ready by then? She still needed to master the bunshin jutsu. With this cold she wasn't allowed at the academy either. If the peace talks succeeded would she not be allowed to try to graduate next year? The academy was boring enough as is, she did not want to be stuck in it any longer than she had to.

AUAU

Itachi jerked awake. His eyes blazed with the sharingan as he forced a shout down to a choke. The ten year old stared down at his out stretched hand, his heart pounded in his ears. Sweat trickled down his neck. Following the path up, the boy stared at kunai handles gleaming from the tree trunks in front of him. His red eyes slow turned and met the mismatched eyes of Hatake Kakashi. The grim frown on his captain's face spoke volumes. After a moment of silence between the two, the Pigeon ANBU rose, "Come with me Itachi."

The ten year old silently followed the older genius back towards the village. After a few minutes of the quiet sounds of their feet tapping the branches during their run, Kakashi spoke up, "Itachi, I don't think you should be here."

"Sir, I'm fine." Argued Itachi. "It was just a drea-"

"You are not alright. You threw twenty kunai at the trees in your sleep. You have done similar things for most of the month." Kakashi slowed their travel to a stop and landed onto a branch of a rather thick maple before turning to look at Itachi in the eyes. "I'm retracting my recommendation for you entering the ANBU at this time. I will also be recommending a living relocation."

Itachi frowned sharply at Kakashi, "That is not necessary, Sir. A few nightmares do not qualify for this, especially a change in residency."

The silver haired man shook his head slightly, "Itachi, talking in your sleep about killing your family, your mother and brother, is reason enough. I'm getting you out of your clan's district before you snap." Kakashi paused for a moment, unknowingly allowing the sinking feeling to grow in the pit of Itachi's stomach. "No one but the Hokage, myself, and the ANBU commander will know you are not a ANBU at this time. We can't have it get out since three fourths of the village has learned of your apparent ANBU status. Kami knows how you being pulled out will affect the Hokage's and your clan's standing amongst the rest of the village, especially the other clans. I'm sure the Hokage will agree with making it appear that you're a ANBU who is set up to live in the ANBU HQ on orders. It does happen."

"Just not with clan heirs." Argued Itachi, the sharingan spun faster in his eyes. "So I'm not to be a ANBU because of some nightmares? You must have had nightmares about your father, and your teammates, even the Yodai-"

Itachi slammed into the tree, Kakashi's hand gripping his armored shirt. sharingan and mismatched eyes met, "Boy, those nightmares ar-were of their deaths and me not being able to save them. They were not about killing them." Itachi gripped Kakashi's arm and gritted his teeth as the ANBU pulled him off the tree. His feet dangled some inches above the branch. Kakashi leaned forward. "We all are messed up somehow kid but I can promise you that you're the only one I know personally dreaming of killing his kin."

Itachi jerked back as if slapped. Nightmares. They weren't dreams but nightmares. Itachi bite his tongue and lowered his eyes, the sharingan faded to dark gray. Dreams or nightmares, did it matter? Itachi took a breath. No, it didn't. The thoughts of killing them were still in his mind all the same. And what was worse was that he had killed them once already. "I apologies for my words Taicho."

Kakashi dropped the ten year old and silently headed back out. Itachi stared after him for a moment. If-When he followed, his future career as ANBU will end before it began. He would no longer be in a position to take responsibility for the treason of his family. Someone else will kill them, and probably him too. Strangely enough, that sounded so simple and so nice. Itachi's tight shoulders loosened and he jumped off after his past's Taicho. His future would be forever changed. Just like Naru-Naoko's. His future was now his to remake.

Kakashi silently waved Itachi to the line of empty chairs outside the Hokage's office as he knocked and entered. Itachi slid down heavily into one of the hard wooden seats. It was so early that the secretary was missing. Dark, gray eyes moved over the empty room. Twilight filtered through the window. It was almost dawn.

His eyes looked over the city scape framed by the window, a strange almost disconnected feeling filled him. He could just make out the Hokage Mountain. The grim faces of stone stared out over their village, forever watching over the lives they had sworn to protect. He had chosen the village over his family in another life time. Itachi was supposed to do that again. That had been the plan. He was supposed to take his clan's lives. He was supposed to save the village.

Naoko's voice whispered through his mind. I'm going to stop the massacre this time. You'll not have to kill them. Why did Naoko have to save them? Save him? Couldn't he save himself?

Many things will change. He had told Naoko that once. It was time for him to acknowledge his own words. It was time to change. Naoko was fighting to change the future, all he had been doing was sitting back and waiting for Danzo to tell him it was time to kill his clan. Sure, he was making a list of skills of the Akatsuki members but while that might help Naoko out in the future it wasn't really changing the future for the better.

He was in the past and he was trying to act like his past self. He could change so many things. It was time for him to take up his part for preparing for the future. This time he didn't have to worry about his father's pride. Itachi didn't have to work twice as hard as anyone else to try and receive recognition any child desired and deserved. This time he could work as hard as he wanted in preparations for protecting his home and the people he cared about.

"Itachi." The ten year old looked up from the view, the sun was just breaking across the sky. Kakashi stared down at him, his face expressionless. Itachi rose and slowly entered, a part of him still feeling rage and fear at the change that was about to happened. He was separate from those feelings though. He felt like he was floating just outside his body and watching everything happen as if it was occurring to someone else. This had never happened. He didn't know what to expect. Everything he knew was falling apart.

The Hokage sat behind his desk, his dark eyes gleaming behind a pair of reading glasses. There were dark bags sunk underneath those old eyes, indicating a long sleepless night. Not all that shocking if the rumor of peace talks were true. That rumor had gotten all the way back to them so there had to be some ounce of truth behind them. Itachi looked away and found the ANBU commander silently standing by the window facing the Hokage monument.

"Itachi-kun." Itachi turned back to his kage. The elderly man met his eyes before continuing. "It has come to my attention that you are not mentally prepared for active ANBU duty." Silence fell across the room. Itachi shifted, uncertain on whether he should be responding to that statement or not. Finally Sarutobi Hiruzen continued, "Have you been having thoughts, dreams, desires to kill any of your kin?"

Itachi's mouth twitched as he found himself struggling with an answer. He was unable to look away from those dark eyes until, at last he whispered, "Hai." He couldn't explain, how could he explain that he was from a future where he had killed them but on the Hokage's orders?

Sorrow and piety filled those dark eyes. No words were spoken for sometime. What was left to say? That he was dismissed from ANBU services before he had even begun? That he was considered a traitor because of his thoughts of destroying a major clan of the village? That he was unfit to be a shinobi until he pursued proper help?

It was only at the soft knock at the door and muffled call of the secretary that broke the silence. Sarutobi spoke up quietly, "I have decided to place you within the village's protection detail. You will be ANBU but you are on strict inner village duty."

Itachi frowned, "But that is the duty of the Police Force."

The Hokage nodded, "It is but if you ask your father you will be told that there is one squad of ANBU that are give the duty to observe from afar. They do not move around in their ANBU attire but their causal clothing. Their duty is literally to watch the foreign shinobi, merchants, and traveling civilians from outside Hi no Kuni for any aggressive action. This allows the Police Force to focus more fully on inner village conflict."

The Hokage leaned forward and rested his chin on the back of his hands, the elbows pressed onto the desk. "This ANBU squad does not go on missions. They do not leave the village until they are assigned another team or end their ANBU career. There is one exception, major conflicts may lead to the need for their presences on the field, but that will be the only time you might see major action. Now many on the team have day duties that are given to them to correspond with this. Your taicho, for instance, is perpetually found on gate duty." The Third paused for a second, a smirk spread across his face, "it is a running joke amongst everyone that I'm out to get him by killing him with boredom, actually."

Itachi stared at the Hokage, his eye's wide. "How am I supposed to make people believe I'm a ANBU without leaving the village or being seen in ANBU clothing?"

The old man frowned in annoyance for a second. "Usually that isn't a problem as half the village isn't made aware who is a ANBU and who isn't. Your clan gossips too much." The Hokage smiled grimly after a moment of thought, "Your team takes a rotation of duty usually, though with the conflict with Cloud they haven't gotten a chance to do so in recent months. I had to send them all out to the field, in fact. So you will be waiting until they are back to begin your ANBU duties." The room fell silent as the elderly man seemed to get lost in thought. Itachi lowered his eyes to the floor. This, was not what he had been expecting.

The third shook his head sharply, as if to shake off a thought, "Anyway, the rotation is to allow two members at a time train for two weeks in the ANBU training fields. We can't have any ANBU get complacent, especially the team given the duty to actively protect Konoha."

Itachi slowly nodded and the Hokage continued, "You will also be moved from the Uchiha compound within two weeks. Some details need to be hashed out but you will be rooming with an orphan that has been causing some...issues. It will be more complicated than that though."

The ten year old licked his dry lips, Naoko immediately popped into his mind, "Sir?"

"You may not be aware but orphans who enter the academy become charges of the Hokage and not simply the village." Said Sarutobi, " They are future shinobi and need more attention than the other orphans, especially when they start showing restlessness in the orphanages. If they are left there the other children, who are unable to properly protect themselves, get hurt whether from a fight or by accident. To avoid this, these orphans are given their own apartments within the complex near the academy after about a year of tutelage. This year, because of the preparations for the the Cloud conflict, we have a number of academy students who are both younger than normal and farther along in their training than even a year of the usual academy schedule would have allowed them to be. They need to be moved into their own apartments as soon as possible but many are simply too young to be left on their own. One in particular isn't even four yet."

The elderly man sighed heavily as he leaned back against his chair. "You will be rooming with that specific orphan but will also be checking on the others, making sure none of them are dieing. I will be assigning another to help with that as you're rather young to be making sure all these children are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Most of them should be able to take care of themselves in about a year, after they are pushed into a routine. In the end you'll just have to keep them from accidentally killing themselves."

The third smiled reassuringly at Itachi, "It will not be too difficult. Usually, as you know, the academy accepts 6 year olds and older. There are ten five year olds, two four year olds, and the three year old who must be moved from the orphanage. Those will be the ones you'll be taking care of after the other children are properly settled in. Of course, you'll be checking in on all of them but nothing major should be needed."

Itachi finally interrupted, "How am I to explain this to my father? It's not something that will go unnoticed."

"The three year old is considered a genius. As far as your parents need to know I gave you this duty because of my concerns for you being in the ANBU and my desire for a fellow genius to cultivate what appears to be there." Smirked the Hokage, "I'm sure your father won't be able to decline a chance to have a orphaned genius grow up favoring the Uchiha clan and in his supposed easy access. Your mother will simply be pleased to see that you aren't being slowly killed from overexertion."

Itachi slowly nodded. "So I am a ANBU, just not one that see active duty often?" Sarutobi nodded before pulling a scroll out and rising from his seat. Opening the scroll and pressing one hand over a storage seal, the third regard Itachi, "Welcome to the ANBU," A soft puff of smoke expelled from the seal revealing a ANBU uniform and an animal mask, "Usagi."

Itachi carefully took the bundle and stared down at the rabbit mask. He had gotten a weasel mask last time. Last time he had been on Kakashi's team, though. The Hokage spoke up one last time as he waved the other ANBU out of his office, "We will be discussing your thoughts on killing your kin, Itachi. I do not believe such a topic would be good to have with anyone else. They may get the wrong idea."

The Uchiha heir looked up and slowly nodded at his Hokage. At least he didn't have to worry about a Yamanaka running around in his head.

AUAU

The book slammed to the ground with a loud thud, breaking Naoko from her doze violently. A succession of sneezes helped force her further awake. She started to rub her nose across her sleeve before wincing. Her raw, red nose had chapped, slightly opened skin from too much rubbing and sneezing. She was miserable and she looked it. The little girl stared down at the book on butterflies silently telling it to come to her so she didn't have to move.

She had read a couple pages. Two, maybe one. Alright, so maybe she hadn't gotten past the third paragraph. It was boring and she didn't like books anyway. She had gone through the entire book, though. Every other page had a pretty picture or drawing of different butterflies so she had look at each one. There wasn't a picture of her butterflies.

Naoko looked up as the door slid open and Akiko, the caretaker, step through with a evil, vile bottle. The kind caretaker gave a soft giggle at the rather adorable sight of Naoko glaring half heartedly at the medicine bottle. "Now, now Naoko-chan this will help you get better. You know that very well."

The three year old stuck her tongue out and grossed, "But it's icky Akiko-san!" Naoko had no trouble acting her age now. That bottle should be destroyed. She would pay for a hit on that thing. She was sure she'd have someone willing to take out the medicine bottle and its manufacturer for 10,000 ryu. Maybe she could ask the Hokage if she could access the Senju fortune just once before she grew up. The clan had a fortune, didn't it? The kanji for sucker flashed through her mind and a shiver of fear went through her. Somehow Naoko was not too sure after that image, though she didn't know why. Maybe, maybe she should look into the Namikaze clan's finances instead. Naoko sudden frowned and it wasn't fully because of the spoon that had somehow found its way into her mouth. Was there a Namikaze clan? Or was the Yondaime just from a small family?

"Neh, Naoko-chan I'm going to bring you some tea and miso soup in a little bit." Akiko wander towards the door before pausing and looking back over her shoulder at Naoko. Her face was hardened in a re-prime, "Don't you go trying to train, I will know and next time I find you out of bed I will tie you down, got that?"

Naoko twitched at the reminder, "Hai, hai. I remember your threat from earlier Akiko-san!"

Akiko's was suddenly beaming at her, "Good, good." Naoko stared at the closed door. Women were scary. Was she really going to grow up to be one. Blue eyes stared down at her little body before the clouded feeling from her cold, and possibly a fever, faded with the medicine taking affect. Her mind went in such odd directions right now. Her being a woman? Well of course. She firmly yanked the horrified thoughts of her gender change to the back of her mind. Naoko would probably never fully get used to being a girl until all her memories of being Naruto were gone. Then she would only remember that dream and most that was her being told to suck it up and act like a girl. The little girl suddenly giggled softly at her summarization of Tou-chan's passionate speech.

Once her mind fully cleared and her nose stopped running, Naoko looked back at the butterfly book on the floor. She could go get that, or she could work on sensing chakra. It wasn't like Akiko had any idea about this type of training. With that Naoko shifted around into a better position and slowly faded into a mediated state. Between reading and actively training, Naoko saw no competition. The book could wait.

After some minutes the little girl felt her pool of chakra flowing through her body, focused at the middle of her abdomen. She mentally sat there enjoying the soft current of her chakra before turning away and feeling outward. Naoko found the overwhelming, silent chakra almost instantaneously. She stared out at it and hesitated. She couldn't feel any end to the chakra.

Yet, with Buta's insistence that it was just everyones chakra combined, the blue eyed child mentally stepped into the chakra. She braced herself for the sudden change, a sudden overwhelming of her senses, for anything. Yet nothing changed. It still just felt like there was chakra everywhere with no end. The little girl frowned as she sensed around, looking with her mind and not her eyes. For a second she felt some different chakra. It was familiar but then it was gone before she could figure it out.

Naoko wrinkled her nose in thought, making a cute expression for anyone watching her mediating body. After a moment of hard thought, the little girl shrugged and chose to dive in. Dig deep, as Buta said. Throwing all caution to the wind, Naoko reached out and grabbed onto the chakra.

Wind and bird song.

She was ants trekking through the grass. She had just pounced on a mouse. Water was rushing across her but she was the water. Yet she was the river bed. The wind was moving her. She was dancing and singing with soft clicks and crinkles as she rubbed against herself. Leaves. She was the aspen and the pine. She was the wind. A muffled crash filtered across her senses. She was the broken bowl, the spilt soup.

Someone was calling her but there were so many people calling to her. One man was whispering to mummy's tummy, telling her that she should come soon. A boy was calling for her to come home, he had some nice milk for her. A little girl was deciding which one of her to pick from the rose tree. So many. She...where-

naoko

She was the fish.

Naoko

She was the clouds. The air.

NAOKO!

Blue eyes snapped open. A hundred blue eyes. Butterflies. She was butterflies. Naoko stared down at her hands. They were there, weren't they? All she could see were butterflies. Everywhere.

Get a hold of yourself. Pull yourself together! Pull your chakra back to yourself! Do Something!

Naoko reached out but not with hands because they weren't there. Why weren't they there? Forcing the terrifying question away, the little girl reached out and grabbed at anything that was her. That felt like it was herself. Then she pulled.

"Naoko?" She knew that voice. She had never heard it with such emotion before. Naoko blinked slowly. She could see her hands. She had fingers.

"Naoko, look at me." Naoko obeyed, her mind still muffled like she was thousand of miles away. Itachi was sitting on her bed. Naoko slowly looked to the ground where she knew, somehow that Akiko-san was laying unconscious covered in her soup and tea. She was on the ground to. The bowl. The soup. The little girl started trembling. How had she known that? What happened?

She had touched that chakra. An image of two old toads in a garden of toad statues filled her mind.

"Naoko." The toads were saying something but she couldn't make it out. "Naoko focus. Look at me. Focus on me."

Naoko jerked back to Itachi. Itachi had been shouting at her. He had been the one telling her to pull herself back together. He had meant it literally. She had been everywhere. She was everything. Everyone.

"Naoko!" The three year old stared at Itachi. His voice was so far away. "Talk to me. What happened?" He was scared. Whatever could have made him scared? "Naoko, do what I said. Now."

Slowly, painfully slowly her mouth opened and closed but no words came out. What was she to say? What happened? What- "I was the sky." Naoko felt her body tremor as the memories filled her. "I was everywhere and no where. I just touch the chakra because pig told me it was alright, it was just everyones but then I was ants and trees and unborn babies and daddies and mommies and flowers and clouds. I was clouds. Then there was shouting everywhere, people talking to me: You and the daddy and the girl and the boy and the birds and the bees. There were butterflies everywhere..." Naoko stared at Itachi's eyes throughout her ramble, though she long stopped seeing the ten year old.

She never noticed the hands gripping her arms hard enough to bruise. She didn't feel the slight shacks as Itachi tried to get her attention again. Naoko didn't notice anything until Itachi pulled her into his lap and just held her. That was when she realized she was crying and she had been screaming and her throat was raw.

She was so tired.

But she couldn't sleep because she might lose herself. She might not find her way back. Itachi slowly rocked her as she cried and stared at nothing, yet at everything.