"SNORA! Supper's ready!... Snora?" Soccer Mom said from the kitchen, peering around the door at the collapsed wall, now replaced by a plastic sheet.
The house was quiet. The dead hedgehog remained where it had been placed upon the chess board.
Soccer Mom looked around the living room before looking down at the chess game. "Hey Ricky!" She hollered upstairs. "GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE! AND HELP ME FIND SNORA! HIS SUPPER'S ATTRACTING FLIES!"
It was true, the pile of supper had only accumulated further, and without Snora or the dog to claim stake to it, the delectable meal had only attracted other suitors. Namely the airborne tiny kind.
But Ricky didn't appear to be home either. Megan Fox was never around, and so Soccer Mom contented herself to another day in, this time in the peace and comfort of her own home. Turning on the audience with the remote, she lounged in the couch. Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny would have wanted it that way. Pressing the button, the audience swapped penlights to generate the glow of the "TV."
But it didn't take long before Soccer Mom grew restless, and the sound of flies in the next room was driving her crazy in the silent, tomb-like house.
"Here boy! Where are you, boy?!" Soccer Mom whistled for the dog. But no dog showed up, or wagged its tail. One unrecognizable dog clawed at the wall plastic with a femur bone clenched between it's jaws, but Soccer Mom didn't recognize it, nor could she find the "front door" anywhere.
Soccer Mom got all excited when she heard somebody coming in through the back door. Racing into the kitchen, she was disappointed to see Kramer Ricky putting away his shovel behind the fridge. But then Soccer Mom noticed he looked kind of strange. "What is it Ricky?"
"Soccer Mom, I have a confession to make..." Ricky looked really sad.
Soccer Mom teared up, her face breaking out into wrinkles once again, but not the happy kind.
"I accidentally ran over the dog on my way back home from the liquor store!" He sobbed, holding up a six-pack.
That's just SO Ricky!