He knows when you are sleeping

he knows when you're awake

He watches you in bed when you think you're good and safe.

So stay asleep for goodness sake

Oh, you better not slouch,

you better not try, you better believe I'm telling you why

Ricky remembers... everything.

He's making a wish

it's probably a vice

can't figure out if he's drinking tonight

Ricky remembers... everything.

With an aluminum bat and a little flashlight

Rooty toot toots and rumbly tum tums

Ricky remembers... everything.

"Snora? Snora?" Soccer Mom asked as she pulled a fruitcake out of the oven. It was a rather shoddy-looking fruitcake and it wobbled more than jello. "Supper's ready!"

Splat, supper found itself on the floor next to the dog's dish as the young bulldog greedily gobbled up Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's supper from several weeks ago.

"Ugh," Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda grumbled, "I hate christmas."

The audience gasped. Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda glared at them.

Megan Fox trooped down the stairs wearing a barely there Ms. Santa Claus outfit. "Hi boys!" she announced to nobody in particular.. maybe the audience.. maybe the director, maybe Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda.

She skipped over and kissed Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda on the cheek, pretended to give an european style formal kiss to Soccer Mom, and then scooped up and kissed the dog. Very passionately too. The dog, a big, dumb panting smile on his face licked his nose before she set the animal down and it scampered off into the next room.

"So, where are you off to dressed like that, young lady?" Soccer Mom said behind a maze of wrinkles.

"Oh, to a couple boys houses tonight, see which ones have been... naughty," she replied, lifting a leg up behind her.

"I've been bad," Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda raised his hand, "no, seriously! I stole this nickel from under the couch."

Megan Fox just giggled. Kicking her leg up once again and shooting him a fiesty.. what is that, bitey face? How is that attractive to anything but the dog?

Meanwhile Soccer Mom just yelled, "SOPA/SNORA/SOKMA/SOMA/SODA COLA KLONDIKE BAR GIBSON RAFUSE BURTON LAMARGE NUR-NUR HOOPA KEYBLADERKID, YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM YOUNG MAN! AND GIVE THE NICE COUCH BACK HIS NICKEL!"

"Yes, Mom.." Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda flicked the nickel back at the couch and wandered upstairs sullenly.

Soccer Mom then swatted Megan Fox on the bottom and sent her out the door. "Go down some chimneys sweetie!"

Quickly, Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda ran back down the stairs. "Mom, mom! There's a strange old man in my bed!"

"Oh sweetie, that's just your friend Ricky, he needed a place to stay so I gave him your room. You can sleep in our little Christmas elf's room."

"Whoo hoo!" Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda raced back upstairs whooping and hollaring.

"Strange old man in his bed.." Soccer Mom shook her head, distorting the maze of wrinkles like an optical illusion.

"That's SO Ricky!"